


I'll Tell you mine, if you tell me your's. - When popular meets nerd.

by AmberEyedLover



Series: I'll tell you mine, if you tell me yours [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Friendship, Lies, M/M, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-19
Updated: 2013-02-05
Packaged: 2017-10-29 19:33:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 151,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/323340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmberEyedLover/pseuds/AmberEyedLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everybody has their secrets, some of them are big and some are small, you have you own secrets and you don’t share them with people for a good reason, but what happens when two worlds come crashing together and all the walls and lies which you have built up to protect yourself starts to crumble around you and that leaves your secrets in the balance.<br/>Being classed as a nerd, Tommy has always kept his head down and got on with everything, never getting in trouble, but three years ago his life was turned upside down and it’s a secret of his which will never go away, no matter what happens to Tommy, he doesn’t let it put him down when he thinks about his secret, he knows he wouldn’t change a thing.<br/>Adam is instantly popular due to his charming looks when he transfers colleges. Like Tommy, Adam has his own secrets in the balance but he doesn’t want them known, he likes the attention he gets and he likes the way he fits in with people. But what happens when their secrets get harder and harder to hide away from the people around them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When sin's come walking.

**Author's Note:**

> ** Some lyrics may be wrong but I tried to find the correct ones on the internet.  
> Songs used:  
> song 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xv0O96M_-O8  
> Song 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XsZ8JyfPnU

_‘’Who is that?’’_

 _‘’Wow he is gorgeous!’’_

 _‘’I heard he transferred because he was caught doing things’’_

 _‘’Apparently he knocked some girl up and his parents made him move’’_

 _‘’Is that the newest Iphone in his hand?’’_

 _‘’Damn he looks good in that blazer, those blues suit him perfectly’’_

Words and questions were thrown about as I walked the hall trying my best to keep my head down and stay out the way, hitching my bag up on to my shoulder I glanced up as a few girls gasped again and I followed there line of view to see a group of the popular kids walking down the hallway talking and laughing before my eyes caught sight of someone new among them.

And damn he was gorgeous.

Tall, dark haired, slightly tanned skin and what looked like a few freckles on his lips, broad shoulders leading down to long arms and then half covered hands with perfect long fingers, painted in a perfect black polish.  
Slowly I took in the long legs paired off with black boots which came up to his knees nearly, adding at least a few more inches to the already tall figure which he was. He was dressed in a simple dark blue shirt with a two buttoned blazer over the top, from the opening I could see a long chain hanging around his neck, by the time I looked up to his face, I took in the dark sunglasses and his lips more, plump and almost kissable.

‘’Move it Ratliff’’ Came a gruff voice before I felt myself being thrown in to the lockers, the cool metal nipping at my flushed skin as I lowered my head and hid behind my bangs as people laughed around me.

‘’Nerd’’

‘’Loser’’

‘’So lame’’

‘’Faggot’’

The same names ran through the air like they did most days as I took a deep breath and pushed myself away and quickly headed towards the boy’s bathroom. Sighing gratefully as it was empty I walked over to the sinks and dropped my bag down before grabbing some tissue from the cubicles and moved back again and lightly wet them before reaching up and ran it along the skin under and around the cut, cleaning some of the blood of with a small winch before I reached down to my bag and pulled out the small bottle of disinfectant and pored some on to the tissue before I reached back up and gently pressed it against my the cut.

‘’Shit’’ I cursed out the moment it touched and I pulled my hand away as my other gripped the side of the counter, breathing out deeply I lent forward again and pressed the tissue back and started to clean it fully before drying the area off and just stared in to the mirror at my reflection.

I could hear the bell ringing for the start of class’s and I breathed out deeply as I looked away and pulled my bag of the floor and over my shoulder again before I turned, taking a step forward before stopping as feet came in to my eye line. Looking up quickly I took a step back and stared across at the boy who had the college’s attention this morning, a small lump forming in my throat as I backed away again until my lower back hit against the sinks.  
‘’Hey, im not going to hurt you, I thought the bathrooms were empty’’ He told me, his voice came out almost like a low sexy sound, he still wore the sunglasses over his eyes as I nodded once and he smirked a little before stepping closer to me.  My instinct was to step back again but I found I couldn’t and a slight smile crept up the corner of his lips,  ‘’You know, I saw you staring in the hallway’’ He whispered out to me as he moved closer again until I could feel his breath on my ear as I looked away and down from him.

There was a sound of something opening and then a hand moving things before I saw him pull something out of his bag which glinted in the low bathroom lights, flinching out of nature I saw him stop slightly before touching my hand and placing it in, a low shock, running through my arm as he did. ‘’Here use this, it will help you hide that mark on your cheek’’ He told me before rubbing a thumb pad over the cut which still stung a little.

I could smell the cologne which he used, kinder fruity and more on the border of Coconut as he press closer to me again and I tried to back further against the sinks as much as I could, his breath on my ear as his hand which had been touching the cut moved down on to my shoulder.  I couldn’t think straight with him so close and before I could stop myself I was pushing him away from me and started to move quickly towards the door before a hand reached out and grabbed my wrist tightly but still light enough not to hurt.

‘’See you around Ratliff’’ He breathed out to me before letting my arm go, spinning around I pulled the door open quickly and ran out in to the hall and started to move towards the study hall where I had to tutor someone for math’s.

~

I could feel the eyes on me as I walked through the doors of the college’s office building, things were being said about me as I walked but I didn’t really care as I headed around the corner and was instantly surrounded by a group which I took to be the popular students around here, just like high school would be, I couldn’t help but think to myself as we chatted a little and I told them that I was heading towards the office to get my time table.

That’s when I felt eyes on me, something different about everyone else as I scanned the hall a little and saw a pair of brown eyes watching as we walked down the hall, the little blonde who looked like he was holding on to the strap of his bag for dear life.  
Watching as a few of the guys in front of us step near him before pushing him in to the lockers I felt myself winch a little on the inside as I saw his cheek catch the edge of the grating and get cut a little before the names were thrown about, I could see it in his face that they affected him but he was doing good to hide the truth behind his hair before he ran off towards the bathrooms.

‘’Wow, he is so lame, no doubt he’s gone off to cry alone like the queer he is’’ One of the guys said to the group before I stopped in front of them and held my empty hand up slightly.  
‘’Look, I can take names for so long but just stop okay, even if you think about wanting to be friends with me, you have to understand that I don’t take any of the shit you just put that kid through’’ I told them strongly and a few glances were thrown about in shock and surprise and a few in fear before they nodded.  
‘’Look, we are sorry, we didn’t really think’’ One of the guys said and I nodded a little before turning and carried on walking the hall until I got to admissions and started to talk to the lady behind the counter to get my table.

Once clear of the others I made my way towards the bathroom I saw the kid run in too and entered silently before I lent against the stalls just watching the blonde as he cleaned the blood of his cheek and then poured something on to the tissue he was using and dabbed at it, his voice breathing out a curse before he carried on.

‘’See you around Ratliff’’ I found myself breathing out to him before letting his wrist go and watched as he ran out the bathrooms and off down the hall, a smirk on my lips as I pushed my sunglasses up and in to my hair as I followed his exit and made my way towards the music department on the college grounds.

~

‘’So you just take this number and half it by that one and you should get your answer’’ I told the boy I was teaching for the fifth time with a small sigh before I pushed my hand through my hair and shifted my glasses off my face to lightly rub at the bridge of my nose before slipping them back on again as I turned to grab my bag to find some spare paper again to try and describe the best methods to work out the problems, feeling like I was being watched, I breathed out a little and felt a small shiver run down my spine before I glanced around to nothing.  
‘’Really John, it’s not that hard okay’’ I tell him as I laid the paper out flat on the desk and took the pen from him and started to draw out the problem.  
‘’I know Tommy, but I just don’t understand it, any of it’’ He tells me and I rolled my eyes a little before starting again.  
‘’Right, with this one, you take the number 45 you subtract 15 before dividing it by the second number which is 21 okay?’’ I asked, pausing slightly to look at him to make sure he was still following before I felt the same prickle on the back of my neck and I spun around to glance around the study hall, there wasn’t anyone apart from a few students on the other desks and some scanning the book shelves.  
‘’Tommy, is…is everything okay?’’ Came a voice and I jumped slightly before turning back to face John and I nodded a little,  
‘’Yeah its fine’’ I breathed out to him as we turned our attention back to the work in front of us.

~

Hitching my bag up on to my shoulder more as I left the study hall, the feeling of being watched still on the back of my neck as I pulled my glasses off and rubbed the bridge of my nose before I slipped them in to my bag and ran a hand through my hair as I lifted my bag strap and moved it across on to my other shoulder so it rested across my chest as I started to head towards the campus food court, my stomach grumbling quietly to itself as I joined in the line and grabbed a bottle of water and a snack bar before lining up to pay for it.

Turning around, I found my eyes meeting bright blue ones from across the yard and I felt the same lump form in my throat as his lips curled up in to a small smirk before I turned and quickly paid for my things, tugging my bag around a little, I lifted the flap and pushed the snack bar inside before closing it again as I made my way across the grounds and towards the Music building before pulling the door open almost forcefully before I flung myself down the halls before I could be pushed in to any other lockers by the popular kids who through that they ran the college grounds like they were still in high school.

‘’Hey Tommy Joe’’ I turned and smiled when I saw one of the theater kids walking towards me, his bag balanced on his arm as he got closer, his hair a bright red today and a soft blue makeup coated his eye lids,  
‘’Hey Sutan’’ I greeted him with a tight hug before we both turned and started to walk down the hall towards the stage doors, ‘’How are you?’’ I asked as I pushed my hands in to the pockets of my jacket and glanced up before back to the floor again.  
‘’Darling please, its Raja today’’ He told me and I laughed slightly and nodded, I should’ve known the moment I saw the bag and heels on him that he was going as his other identity, ‘’But im wonderful, and I have the perfect look for you to try out baby’’ She told me and I laughed and shook my head as I opened the door for her and bowed a little.  
‘’Please no more, mama and Hamish keeps saying that Im being attacked by my fairy trans mother which you are babe, but not today, im too tired to work anything out on looks’’ I told her as we walked down the few small steps and towards the stage, my eyes scanning the large room to see if anyone else was around, smiling when I saw no one I dropped my bag down on to the seats in the front row and pulled myself up on to the stage and half ran and half walked over to where my guitar was sat in the shadows.

‘’Tommy, you act like that guitar was your life line’’ She told me and I grinned brightly as I unzipped my jacket and crouched down, getting out the cables and plugging them in to the right places.  
‘’Playing is my life line, without it I wouldn’t pull in enough money from my Sunday job to support us, you know that’’ I told him as I picked my guitar up and walked towards the middle of the stage before going to the edge and sat down so my one of my legs dangled while I curled the other under me. tugging my jacket off I chucked it towards Raja who laughed and caught it before setting it down on my bag before I pushed my long sleeves up to show the tattoos off on my arms as I carefully picked my guitar up again and rested it in my lap as I started to tune it back up again before starting to strum a few cords.

~

A soft sound was thumbing through the hall way above the sound of footsteps and people laughing and talking as they walked to their next classes. The sound was almost silent compared to the hallway yet I could still hear it faintly and found myself wondering towards the set of double doors at one end which I knew to be the stage doors, quirking my eyebrow up slightly I walked towards them and silently pulled the door open to hear the sound stop, looking up quickly I expected to see who ever was playing to be staring towards me but they weren’t.

‘’Tommy…No…don’t you dare’’ A high pitched voice came out from the taller boy who was backing away from the blonde one, the blonde I couldn’t seem to stop watching when ever I saw him.  He laughed loudly as I stepped inside the room and let the door shut quietly behind me before I slipped in to the back row of seats and settled in the darkness as I watched the pair.  
‘’Aww come on Raja, just take the make up off and let me re do it again’’ The blonde pleaded, each word was motioned with a step closer to the other who smirked and shook their head.  
‘’No, maybe if I wasn’t Raja today, then yes, but you have to wait until then’’ He spoke, and I rose an eyebrow slightly confused at the names and what they were saying.  
‘’Oh you are such a drama queen’’ Tommy breathed out to him before crossing his arms and I grinned slightly as I crossed my leg over my other leg slightly.  
‘’Oh darling, of course im a drama queen, that what I get for being a drag queen too baby’’ The boy spoke before he walked closer and wrapped his arms around the blondes neck and pulled him closer with a smile.

‘’Oh you suck, you know if you were yourself I would so be kicking your ass right now’’ He laughed out and I shook my head slightly before pulling out the others arms after a quick hug and a kiss to the cheek, something shot through my body as I sat up a little and watched them closer.  
‘’I know my darling little elf, now play for me, I feel like performing’’ Raja told Tommy and I watched as a grin pulled over Tommy’s face and he moved and walked to the edge of the stage before jumping down.  
‘’I have been working on something for you babe, I still haven’t recorded the guitar but everything else was put together on the computer and then on to disk’’ Tommy spoke out while digging through a bag until he held a small square up which looked to be a cd before he climbed back on stage and walked over to where the stereo was still sat and put the disk in before pressing play, a low sexual beat of keys and some drums started to play out the speakers before he moved to the front of the stage again and sat on the edge before he pulled a guitar closer to him, my own hands moving to the arms of the seat and pushed myself up to watch them closer as Tommy started to strum to the music, his lower lip caught between his teeth, his eyes watching his friend, slowly I tore my own eyes away from Tommy and looked up to watch as his friend tapped his foot to the beat a little before he started to move to the music, letting his body flow with the sound and he looked pretty good, I guess being a drag queen he would know about it all.

Looking back to Tommy I could see that his eyes were closed now as he let his fingers move over the strings of the guitar which was cradled in his hands before he opened them and looked towards the back of the room to where I was sat, my eyes meeting the warm brown’s of his eyes.  
‘’Tommy…?’’ His friend asked as he quickly spun around and pulled himself to his feet, the guitar in his hand as he walked over to where I could see a case and watched as he quickly placed it inside and shut everything up before picking it up and walked back to the stage and put it down. ‘’Baby, talk to me, what’s going on?’’ He asked again as Tommy jumped down and grabbed his things, his jacket being tugged on roughly before he threw his bag over his shoulders.  
‘’Im going to be late for class’’ I just managed to hear before his friend looked at him with worry before nodding and handed his guitar to him. ‘’Keep the cd, I will record the rest when I have some free time on my hands and give it to you’’ his voice was low but it was still carried around the large room like an echo.  
He turned and started to walk up the slope towards me before his eyes flickered to mine before he rushed past quickly, from what I could see, there was a blush on his cheeks as he pushed himself out the door and in to the hall way.

‘’Hello, I don’t think we have met before’’ Came a voice from the stage and I turned to look towards Tommy’s friend before I stood and nodded a little before I started to walk down towards him.  
‘’Hi, Im Adam Lambert, just transferred colleges to here’’ I told him as I quickly jogged up the steps and on to the stage before I walked over and held my hand out to him.  
‘’Sutan, or Raja, depends on different days’’ He told me and I nodded a little as he shook my hand. ‘’So what brings you to LA Adam?’’ He asked as he walked over towards the stereo and turned the music off and placed the disk back in to the case again before turning to face me again,  
‘’Family mainly’’ I told him simply and he nodded a little with a grin before I watched him rake his eyes over me, ‘’Liking what you see?’’ I asked him with a raised eyebrow as his eyes snapped back to my face again and he laughed.  
‘’Darling, if I liked what I saw, I would be half way down your throat by now with my tongue’’ He told me and I laughed and nodded a little.  
‘’So the blonde, he’s your type is he? I mean who wouldn’t want to hit that, small, cute, blonde and those eyes are big enough for anyone to fall in’’ I told him as I lent back against the wall and crossed my arms over my chest.

‘’Tommy, No, we are just friends, but im going to warn you now Adam’’ His voce rose a little and it sounded like there was some venom in it. ‘’He’s a good kid, keeps his head down and gets on with everything, does nothing to cause trouble so if your thinking about going after him you better go careful or I will rip your balls off and feed them to my dogs’’ He told me as he came closer and pointed a perfect nail at me before the stage doors open again.  
‘’Hey Adam, we finally found yo…. What are you doing with that?’’ Came a voice and I rolled my eyes slightly turning my head and glance towards Isaac,  
‘’Isaac darling, hello to you too’’ Raja told him and I looked back as he smirked towards the boy stood in the door before he started to walk towards us.  
‘’Piss of Sutan, Raja or not, I will still kick your ass till next year’’ Isaac spat out as he walked up on to the stage.  
‘’Oh Isaac, Isaac, control that mouth of yours now, you know what mother thinks when her perfect little boy gets in to a bit of trouble now don’t we’’ Sutan spat back and I raised an eyebrow slightly which he caught. ‘’’Oh this is wonderful, Isaac here seems to of forgotten to mention that his lovely step brother is the drag queen’’ Sutan laughed before he turned on his heels and walked towards his bag and picked it up. ‘’See you at home darling’’ He waved before blowing a kiss towards us before he stalked off in to the darkness and then out the hall.

‘’What the hell was that all about?’’ Isaac asked and I shrugged a little before pushing away from the wall,  
‘’Just looking around the place’’ I told him as I let my eyes wonder over the large stage,  
‘’Good because you do not want to be anywhere near here, the stage geeks and nerds all hang out here, something you do not want, and shit when they start singing its like hell, everyone seems to love them’’ He rolled his eyes and I looked at him before swallowing back my words knowing that now was not a good time to come out with anything about my love of singing or me being gay.

~

‘’Tommy wait up, what’s wrong, why did you run out like that earlier?’’ Sutan’s voice filled my ears and I sighed a little before I stopped for him to catch up as I held my case closer to me.  
‘’Im sorry, It’s… just,’’ I sighed a little and ran my hand through my hair before I looked down and around a little before back to him, ‘’That guy just keeps creeping me out, no matter where I go he’s there watching me and Im getting sick of it’’ I tell him with a sigh as I looked back up at Sutan.  
‘’Well he seemed to ask about you once you left and he’s called Adam by the way…Adam Lambert’’ He told me with a small grin and I looked at him with wide eyes.  
‘’What did you tell him?’’ I asked a little panicked.  
‘’Don’t worry Tommy, he doesn’t know, no one does apart from the people you told’’ He told me with a soft hand to my shoulder and I nodded a little as I took a deep breath.  
‘’Good, I should get home’’ I tell him and he nodded a little with a smile before kissing my cheek gently, grabbing the handle of my case, I picked it up again before heading off the campus grounds, I had taken no more than ten steps when the same feeling on the back of my neck appeared and I turned to see the same blue eyes watching me.  Groaning a little I turned and carried on walking until I was no where near the campus.

 _~_

The front door was locked when I had gotten home yet I still quietly slipped inside and dropped my bag down on to the floor beside the table before setting my case against the wall and put my keys on the dish next to the phone before shrugging my jacket off.  
‘’Mama, Hamish, is anyone home?’’ I called out in to the quiet house out of habit, breathing out deeply as I walked in to the kitchen, I looked at the board to see that there was a note tacked to it and I took it off before silently reading it.  
‘’The park, of course, it’s a Tuesday’’ I spoke out loud to myself as I crossed over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water before twisting the cap off and made my way towards the stairs and up them slowly before moving towards the bathroom where I turned the shower on before going to my room to double check that no one was home despite the note and pulled my shirt off and my jeans before leaving them on my bed and walked back in to the bathroom as I pulled my boxers off and put them in the wash basket and climbed in to the shower, the hotness of the water instantly soothing out the tight knots in my shoulders from the day.

As I stood there I couldn’t help but think back to today and of those blue eyes watching me as I moved around the campus and while I ate and while we were in lessons. The glaze leaving a small shiver to run down my spine as I slowly started to slip my hand down my chest and over my flat stomach before my fingers curled lightly around my length which was already rock hard.  
But it wasn’t myown hand which I thought about as I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, trying to block out the face of the dark haired boy, but behind closed eyes Adam was smiling and leaning closer until he brushed his lips against the back of my neck lightly, his finger tips danced lightly over the wet skin on my waist and down over my hip before he pushed my own hand away and replaced it with a hotter and rougher hand, working hard and fast over my stiff member as I placed my hand against the wall and my other wrapped over the arm which he had wrapped around my body, holding me to him as I felt a firm body press against my own. Pushing against my skin until I was held between the coldness of the tiles and the touch of his hand which felt like it was burning ever inch of my skin, feeling the tightness in the bottom of my stomach, I let a small whimper out, followed by a low groan as I felt the pressure move through my body until my member twitched in his hand and I released over the tiles in front of me with a heavy breath.

Slowly my eyes opened and I stared at the light red colored tiles which filled my vision before I looked down at the mess clearly visible in front of me, gasping to myself, I quickly grabbed the head of the shower from the holder and moved it across and washed the wall off before replacing it again and breathed out deeply as I turned the water off and stepped out of the tub, a slight shiver running over my body as I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my waist tightly as I moved across the bathroom and stared in to the mirror with wide eyes.

I just had my first fantasy of Adam Lambert and I had shamefully enjoyed it.

By the time I had stalked back to my room and dried off before dressing in some clean boxers and jeans, I pulled a top out and threw it on my bed before I returned the towel to the bathroom and placed it in to the wash basket after rubbing it over my hair a few more times.  
‘’Tommy, we are home’’ I heard my mama call out as the front door opened and footsteps echoed through the house, smiling a little I walked back to my room and grabbed the shirt before glancing across to the other bed in there and the toys a little, a warm smile spreading over my lips as I tugged my top on and headed downstairs.  ‘’How was your day sweetheart?’’ Mama asked as I walked in to the kitchen to see her at the fridge and the back door open.

‘’Tiring, but good, nearly finished the track for Raja, just got to record my guitar and then add it to the rest and then it should be finished, hopefully no tweaking will have to be made’’ I told her as I sat down at the table and glanced out the window with a smile before I turned back again.  ‘’Also had to tutor John again, once again he’s failing math’s somehow, I mean he is one of the brightest  guys I know but its like he doesn’t care’’ I sighed as I ran my hand through my damp hair and sat up a little before resting my elbow on the table.

‘’Sorry ma, how was your day?’’ I asked her with a smile as I stood and walked over, kissing her cheek softly before I moved towards the freezer to find something for dinner.  
‘’You know, non stop running around’’ She laughed softly and I grinned with a nod as I handed her a bag of nuggets and I turned back to the freezer again to grab some fries before handing them over and closed the freezer door, walking over to the cupboards I pulled one open and grabbed two cups out before grabbing a plastic beaker and placed them on the side before I started to make some juice and two cups of coffee.

‘’How is our Sutan today? He hasn’t been around in a while’’ Mama asked me as I poured some water in to the cups and started to stir them before I nodded a little,  
‘’He’s great actually, once we finish this track, he will be all set for the next drag contest which he wants to enter, the whole reason behind the track because he wanted something different, something Raja as he puts it’’ I laughed a little as I put the drinks on the table and sat down again, my hands wrapping around the warm cup as mama sat down and picked her own up.  
‘’That’s good, well he will have to come over soon, you know how Hamish enjoys it when he’s around the house’’ I rolled my eyes slightly and laughed,  
‘’I know, please don’t remind me, last time I swear I had to bleach the carpet in my room because Sutan knocked over a bottle of polish and it almost left a bright green stain on it from when he done his nails’’ I told her and she grinned across the table at me and I couldn’t help but smile back to her.

‘’Thank you for everything ma, I really mean it, I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you around to help me out’’ I tell her softly and she looked across the table at me with soft eyes before placing her cup down and stood up, following her lead, I walked around and in to her open arms where she hugged me tightly.  
‘’No boy’s of mine deserved what that girl done, but I wouldn’t change anything’’ She whispered in to the top of my hair and I smiled before squeezing her tightly before letting go again with a deep breath.

 _~_

‘’Hamish, no’’ I yelled before groaning as little, pushing my sleeves up, I took chase after him before grabbing him by his arms and swung him around in a circle playfully. ‘’Don’t do that again’’ I breathed out to him heavily as I set him back on his feet and placed my hands on my knees as I took a deep breath.  
‘’Can I at least go over there?’’ He asked and I looked up to where he was pointing before looking back at him and nodded a little,  
‘’But when I say its time to go, its time to go, no back chatting me this time, understand?’’ I asked him and he grinned before nodding and ran off again as I stood up straighter and ran my hand through my hair before sliding my glasses back on to my head again and rubbed the back of my neck.

Before long I walked over to one of the benches and let myself fall back on to it with a soft groan before I lent forward and rested my arms on my knees before I slipped my sun glasses down over my eyes as I watched Hamish running about with a small smile before I frowned a little as a older girl walked over to him and started to talk, my lower lip caught under my teeth a little as I sat up, feeling a hand come down on my shoulder I jumped and spun around quickly to see blue eyes looking at me in amusement.

‘’What do you want from me?’’ I asked out as I pulled my glasses from my face and stared at him, ‘’You have done nothing but stare at me today and it freaking me out’’ I called out to him again, the frustration from the day being let free from inside of me as he stood there with a slight grin.  
‘’Im sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you or freak you out okay’’ He told me and I grumbled under my breath before I turned around to see them gone,  breathing out I started to search where he was with the girl before I felt him stood behind me, his breath ghosting over my ear slightly.  
‘’Don’t worry, they are over there’’ He told me before pointing towards a pile of leaves where the girl was picking one up and held it towards Hamish, a soft breath escaped my lips before I moved away from Adam again and turned.

‘’Right, you want answers’’ He said and I nodded a little before pushing my glasses on top of my head again.  
‘’You have two minutes, why the hell have you been watching me today?’’ I asked him again as I chewed on my bottom lip a little, instantly stopping as I noticed him watching my lips instead of me.  
‘’You intrigue me Tommy, I want to get to know you’’ He told me and I laughed before covering my mouth a little and shook my head,

 _‘_ ’How do you, know my name anyway?’’ I asked before it dawned on me. ‘’Sutan…Im going to kill that boy’’ I muttered to myself as I turned away and looked around the park again.

‘’Tommy, will you let me get to know you?’’ Adam asked again, his breath skimming over my neck and I closed my eyes, trying to get the images from my shower out of my mind before I moved away from him and turned to face him sharply.  
‘’Look, stop being such a creep okay, stop watching me, stop trying to touch me, you know nothing now just leave me alone’’ I growled out to him before I started to walk away from him. ‘’Hamish, time to go’’ I called out to him and stopped a little as he looked at me. ‘’Now I said!’’ I told him again and he looked at the girl before saying bye and came running over to me and reached for my hand, sighing I crouched a little and smiled at him softly, my knee already hurting from where it was perched on the ground.  ‘’Im sorry for yelling okay, I’ve just had a bad day, so its not your fault okay’’ I tell him softly and he nodded before hugging his arms around my neck, picking him up, I glanced back to see Adam watching and I glared a little before I started to walk towards the parks exit again before turning down and started to head for home.

 _~_

‘’Are you ready Adam?’’ I looked up from where I had been laid, dangling over my bed, eyes closed and nodded a little with a grin.  
‘’Yeah, let’s get going shall we, can’t have you being late now because we couldn’t find you anything to wear’’ I grinned at her as she smiled brightly before she took my hand and led me in to her bedroom.  
‘’Right, well these will look perfect with this top’’ I told her as I handed her a dark purple top with a pair of her black jeans before reaching back in to he wardrobe and pulled out a grey hoody and turned back with a smile. ‘’There, you will look perfect for school’’ I told her before kissing her on the top of her head before leaving to let her get dressed as I headed down the stairs and in to the kitchen.

Yawning a little, I started to make some breakfast before putting everything on the table and sat at it, a glass of juice in my hand which I was slowly sipping at before I put it down and let my eyes close a little as I yawned.  
Most of the night I was laid awake in bed just staring at my ceiling trying to work out a plan of getting to know Tommy more, but images of the park kept sweeping by, the way he yelled at the boy and then suddenly was all nice was confusing me madly and I wasn’t going to rest till I found out what it was all about.

‘’Because he’s fire and ice, this could be hell, it could be paradise’’ I muttered out to myself before I opened my eyes and breathed out. Standing I checked the time before I walked towards the stairs.  
‘’Come on, or you wont have time for breakfast and we will be late, your worse than me in the mornings’’ I called up with a laugh before I moved back to my seat at the table and picked my juice up again.

‘’Hey can you drive me today?’’ I looked up from where I had been burning holes in to the table and smiled before nodding to her.  
‘’Sure, I would love too’’ I grinned before standing up and let her take my place before grabbing a bowl of cereal and placed it down before walking over to the sink with my empty glass.

~

‘’I will be home late tonight okay, you sure you going to be fine until then?’’ I asked and she laughed before nodding.  
‘’I’m 16 Adam, not 5’’ Her voice held a tone of seriousness to it but it was mostly laced a joking tone as I nodded.  
‘’Just call me if you need anything or need me to come home’’ I tell her and she smiled before leaning over and kissed my cheek before getting out the car and ran off towards her friends near the doors of the building.

Fiddling with the buttons of the radio, I sighed and looked up to check to see the light still on red before I went back and found a station which seemed to play some type of different rock songs. Sighing to myself I pressed my foot down on to the gas as I started to drive towards the college grounds, my mind on finding Tommy and find out who the boy he was with was.  It wasn’t long before I arrived and found a parking space, locking the door behind me I slipped my glasses back down over my eyes to hide them from the sun as I pulled the strap of my bag over my shoulder and started to make my way towards the music building, the grounds were mostly empty and I realized that I was early which I didn’t mind as I walked through the empty hall, my boots echoed off the hard floor before I turned towards the stage and pulled the doors open to an empty and dark room.

‘’Lights’’ I mumbled to myself as my hands moved over the walls until I found some switches and flicked them up, a sudden brightness filling the large room before I smiled and made my way down the side and over towards the stage where instruments and paper laid silently on the floor and on top of each other, left by students in a hurry to get home yesterday.

Stepping on to the stage I walked to the middle before standing and looked out over all the empty seats which still stood in semi darkness from the ones lighting the stage up, a warm feeling spreading through my body as I smiled lightly to myself.

‘’Welcome to Hollywood Adam, you are no longer in San Francisco’’ I breathed out to myself with a grin before I dug around in my bag and pulled my I-pod out and dropped my bag on to the floor, Looking around, I spotted the stereo which Tommy had used yesterday and I walked over before seeing a cable and a docking system, smiling I put my I-pod in and skipped through the songs looking for one before stopping with a grin, pressing play I backed away and started to pull my jacket off and dropped it on to my bag as the beat of the song filled the room.

 _‘’I took my baby, on a Saturday bang.  
Boy is that girl with you,  
yes we’re one and the same’’**_

I started to sing and twisted a little on my heel as I looked towards the back of the stage, my head bobbing to the beat a little as I grinned.

 _‘’Now I believe in miracles  
and a miracle has happened tonight.  
But if you’re thinkin’  
about my baby,  
it don’t matter if you’re black or white_

 _They print my message  
In the Saturday sun  
I had to tell them  
I anit second to none’’_

I let my eyes close before I bit my lip a little and let my body move to the beat on its own as my hand came up to my chest slightly and I let my knees bend a little before I stood straighter again.

 _‘’And I told about equality  
an its true  
either you're wrong  
or you're right_

 _But, if  
you’re thinkin'  
about my baby  
It don't matter if you're  
Black or white’’_

I breathed out deeply in the small pause between the words and ran a hand through my hair as I turned and walked towards the edge of the stage and looked out with a small grin on my lips still before I turned and started to walk back a little, a big breath of air filled in my lungs as I started to sing again.

 _‘’I am tired of this devil  
I am tired of this stuff  
I am tired of this business  
Sew when the  
Going gets rough  
I ain't scared of your brot-‘’ _

I quickly stopped and spun around on the spot as I heard someone start clapping and a small whistle, finding only darkness I walked over and pressed pause on my music before I turned back again as footsteps echoed and moved towards the stage, at first a pair of bright pink boots appeared on the stage, followed by long legs in tight black jeans as I moved my eyes up to their face I felt my stomach turn slightly.

‘’I must say, I didn’t expect to hear someone in here this early, normally I get here before classes start for a few hours of peace but pulling that door open and hearing music I couldn’t stop myself from listening… My you are also not a bad dancer if I must say’’ They told me as I swallowed a little and moved my hand up to the back of my neck and rubbed it a little. ‘’If I didn’t watch you, I would’ve thought it was the singer and not you’’ he laughed softly and placed his hand against his jaw lightly as he raked his eyes over me again. ‘’I wonder what Isaac would say if he knew about this’’

‘’Sutan, Raja, whatever your name is, you didn’t see anything okay’’ I told him once I finally found my voice again and he laughed a little as he came further in to the light of the stage, a tight red top stretched over his chest and arms a little,  
‘’Darling, why would I forget something like your voice, its truly wonderful but can you really reach those high notes?’’ He asked and I breathed back a sigh and watched as he walked over and scooped my I-pod up off the dock and started to go through the songs.

‘’Ooo, perfect, Adam sing and your secret will be safe with me’’ He told me before replacing it on the dock and pressed the play button before moving over to sit on the piano bench as the music started to play and I quickly recognized the song.

 _‘’I was born by the river in a little tent  
Oh and just like the river I've been running ever since  
It's been a long, a long time coming  
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will’’_

I glanced towards Sutan as I started to sing, his eyes wide slightly at the high notes in the start of the song and as I managed to reach them along with the singer.

 _‘’ It's been too hard living but I'm afraid to die  
Cause I don't know what's up there beyond the sky  
It's been a long, a long time coming  
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will’’_

With each high note and low, my voice changed to match it as I placed my hand flat against my stomach and let my eyes close a little as I started to let myself get in to the slow but soft song, my head slightly bobbing as I sung to Sutan.

 _‘’ I go to the movie and I go downtown somebody keep telling me don't hang around  
It's been a long, a long time coming  
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will  
_   
_Then I go to my brother  
And I say brother help me please  
But he winds up knockin' me  
Back down on my knees_

 _Ohhhhhhhhh..._

 __  
_There been times that I thought I couldn't last for long  
But now I think I'm able to carry on  
It's been a long, a long time coming  
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will’’_

Letting my voice fade out with the singers and along the music as I held the last note a little longer before stopping and breathed out deeply as I turned and looked towards Sutan who’s eyes was wide with shock as he stared at me and I could feel my heart racing against my chest.

‘’Boy, you can sing’’ He told me at last and I couldn’t help but laugh and blush slightly before I walked over to my bag and sat on the stage beside if before pulling out my bottle of water and un twisted the lid before taking a few mouthfuls as my I-pod started to play the next song but none of us taking any notice of it. ‘’I swear your notes were higher than the singers but wow Adam, since when did a popular sing as well as that?’’ He asked and I laughed again as I brought my knees up and lent against them as I looked towards him with a shrug.

‘’I don’t know, growing up I was always in to acting and being on stage, been in a few theater performances back in San Francisco before we moved down here.’’ I told him and he nodded a little, ‘’But that was all left back there, I wouldn’t of sung if I knew you was going to turn up here, it isn’t something I want to let people know’’ I tell him softly.  
‘’Why not take it up here?’’ He asked and I shrugged a little before tilting my head and looked up at him, _  
_‘’from everything I’ve already seen and then yesterday with you and Isaac, I mean Im not really wanting to commit social suicide now, do I?’’ I told him as I stood.  ‘’And its not something I want happening again’’ I told him as I pulled my strap over my shoulder and walked over to the stereo and unplugged my I-pod before slipping my headphones back in and pushed it in to my pocket.

‘’Adam, no one has to know, I mean, no one ever comes in this department this early apart from me, and the place where I work is looking for some more acts, they pay great too if you were wondering’’ He told me and I stopped from where I was walking before I turned and glanced towards him.  
‘’What are you trying to say?’’ I asked before I turned my body fully and crossed my arms over my chest as he smiled and stood.  
‘’Im saying, your secret is safe with me, you get to sing your pretty little voice off whenever you want before classes, and then you can come and perform at night for a great pay at the club where I work’’ He spoke as he came to stop in front of me and trailed his finger slowly down my chest.  I stared at him slightly before reaching up and removed his hand from my chest and dropped it as I thought about the chance and the pay,

‘’How much is the pay?’’ I asked him as I crossed my arms again, a small smirk appearing over Sutan’s lips.

‘’Depending on how long you sing for and what the bosses think of you will be all good if you sing for them and the club like you sang for me, at least $150 a night, maybe more if your there for a while and you pull in bigger crowds’’ He told me and I knew straight away that it was something I wanted to do.

‘’When and where about is the club?’’ I asked him and he laughed and clapped a little,  
‘’Give me your number and I will call you with the details’’ He told me and I rolled my eyes a little before grabbing a pen out my bag and pulled his arm towards me before I started to write out my number over the inside of his arm before I pulled away.

‘’It better stay a secret, if this gets out…I mean it…If this gets out, that’s it, this deal Is over and I will never trust you again’’ I told him and he smiled at me before winking.

‘’Don’t worry baby, its safe with me I wont tell anyone not even your little eye candy Tommy’’ He winked at me again before turning on his heel and started to walk away.

Fuck he knew I was gay.  
But worse of all, He knew I had been watching Tommy.

This meant, they were the best of friends and he knew everything to do with the blonde!  Smirking slightly as I walked off the stage, I headed towards the door and out before I started to make my way out of the music building and towards the English department for class.

~

‘’Tommy, your late, wake up’’ I groaned a little as someone started to disturb my sleep, the bright light filling out even behind my closed eyes from my window didn’t seem to help as I reached up and pulled the covers over my head a little more. ‘’Tommy Joe, your late for classes, now get up’’ The voice came out stronger and I sighed before sitting up and stretched a little before I turned to look at my mama.  
‘’Sorry’’ I tell her and she smiled before ruffling my hair before her thumb gently traced the small cut and slight bruise on my cheek with a sigh. ‘’They started again with the locker pushing?’’ She asked and I rolled my eyes a little before nodding and climbed out of bed, mentally thanking myself that I deiced to sleep in my boxers and not nude again like I had done a few times before.

‘’Its okay, my fault really I was kinder stood in the way’’ I laughed out as I grabbed a pair of jeans and started to pull them on before I grabbed my creepers and pushed my feet in to them and quickly tied before walking over to my dresser and pulled it open, finding a white button up shirt, I tugged it on and buttoned it up quickly before finding my dark blue waist coat and pulled it on over the top and done it up too. ‘’Where’s Hamish?’’ I asked her as I looked over the other side of the room and then back again.

‘’Sutan dropped him off at day care on the way to college, he’s going to be popping over today so I can help with his costume as he has no classes today’’ I nodded slightly while making a mental note to remind me to thank him when I saw him again, which turned out to be sooner than I thought.

‘’Hello, anyone home or am I allowed to raid the kitchen?’’ Came a voice from downstairs and I laughed as mama looked towards the door,  
‘’Go right ahead Sutan dear, we will be down in a second’’ She called back before a squeal was heard and then footsteps which sounded like he was running in to the kitchen. ‘’What classes do you have today because your going to have to pick Hamish up unless Sutan would be kind enough to do it again’’ She asked and I raked my fingers through my hair before thinking.  
‘’Just a couple, but looking at the time I’ve missed Math’s, but if I leave in a bit I will make it two the second lesson of English before I have a tutor session with a girl who’s failing Math’s’’ I sighed and rolled my eyes a little at the thought, ‘’But after that I have music and im finished so I will get to day care about five minutes late but I will be able to pick him up today, if not I will give Sutan a call’’ I tell her and she smiled before walking over and kissed my cheek gently before nodding.  
‘’Good, that boy adores you, you know that don’t you?’’ She asked and I smiled at her warmly,  
‘’I know mama, he means the world to me, I really wouldn’t ever do anything different to change anything to do with Hamish, he is who I am’’ I tell her and she smiled and rested her hand on my arm before turning and left my room with a smile.

As I finished getting ready, I looked in to the mirror as I grabbed my black color pencil and sighed a little at the mark before I remember the small jaw which was pressed in to my hand by Adam when we were in the bathroom, biting my lip a little I walked over to where my bag was laid on my desk and looked through it until I found it and just held it in my hands for a while as I looked at it. I walked back over to my mirror, unscrewing it at the same to take the lid off before I lightly dipped my fingertips across the surface and brought them up to my cheek where I lightly started to rub it over the small scab which covered the cut, before long it didn’t look like I had anything there and I could help but smile as I finished getting ready and grabbed my leather jacket and tugged it on as I started to walk out my room, bag in hand and phone in other as I made my way downstairs and in to the kitchen.

‘’Well hello there sexy boy’’ Sutan whistled as I walked in to the kitchen and I laughed and flipped him off before walking over and in to his open arms, my own wrapping around his waist as we hugged,  
‘’Thanks for taking Hamish to day care this morning’’ I mumbled in to his chest and I felt him laugh,  
‘’Your welcome baby, I know what some mornings can be like for you and your mama, plus I was coming over anyway to ask for Ma’s help’’ He beamed as I looked up at him and smiled, leaning up I kissed his cheek quickly before I let him go and started to move away from him before I reached out and turned his arm over with a raised eyebrow.  
‘’What’s that?’’ I asked him with a small grin as he smirked and winked at me.  
‘’Just a boys number’’ He told me as he turned and started to pull out some material from his bag and place it on the table and I laughed.  
‘’Well, good on you Sutan, you deserve to find someone’’ I tell him and laughed,  
‘’Not for me personally, well kind of is, but for work too’’ He tells me and I nodded a little, ‘’But the boy is very hot’’ He smirked and I shook my head knowing the look in his eyes.  
‘’Babe your not setting me up with anyone and that’s that.’’ I tell him as I pulled my bag over my shoulder.

‘’But why Tommy, I know you are lonely, you often say it yourself’’ He tells me and I sighed as I stood near the door,  
‘’Im just not ready to be in a relationship, and who would want to be with me once they find out the whole truth about everything?’’ I asked him and he looked at me sadly before nodding and walked over, his lips pressing against my forehead gently.  
‘’I know baby, I know but someone will love you and everything to do with you one day, just keep wishing on those stars’’ He whispered to me and I smiled at him before nodding, hugging him tightly I quickly said my goodbyes to both Sutan and mama before I grabbed my car keys and headed out the house before walking down the street to where I had parked the day before and climbed inside after I unlocked it and had placed my bag on the back seats. Starting it up I smiled at the smooth sound of the engine before I reached over and turned my stereo on before pushing a cd in to the gap and pressed play once it loaded.

Pressing my foot down on the gas, I pulled out of the space before I started driving towards campus. A smile plastered over my face as I started to think about what Sutan had said and about everything which was happening in my life at the moment.


	2. Dance club, Strip light, Get drunk, No sight

‘’Nerd’’

I sighed a little as I heard the insult get thrown at me as I walked across the campus grounds and pushed my glasses up on to my nose more from where they slipped down a little, my body was aching from leaning over the desk for most of the morning, trying to teach a girl math’s when I knew that nothing was going to work even with my help, she just wasn’t willing to learn.

Taking a deep breath as I walked in to the English department, I ran a hand through my hair and pulled the strap of my bag up over my shoulder again as someone rushed by and knocked it off. Walking in to my class I felt a buzz in my pocket and I pulled my phone out and opened up the text to see it was from Sutan and I laughed slightly at it as I made my way to my desk, the feeling of eyes burning in to my back was strong as I took no notice and set my bag on the top of the desk before lowering myself in to my seat.

_Will think about it and let you know x_

I quickly sent the text before sliding my phone back in to my pocket again and started to pull my notebook and pen out before setting my bag down on to the floor as the teacher walked in.

~

’’Tommy, im so glad you let yourself have a night out with me’’ Sutan laughed out as he pulled me in to a tight hug outside the club where he worked most nights, tonight being just one of his nights off.  
‘’Of course babe, it’s been too long and ma said she didn’t mind, so Im a free man tonight’’ I tell him as he grinned.   
‘’Well good’’ He spoke out as he grabbed my hand and I laughed a little at his words before I let him drag me inside the building where the stiff smell of booze, sex and sweat hit me instantly, reminding me of how long it had been since I last came out for a drink with him.

 I couldn’t help but stare towards the stage where a few people were still packing away their instruments while chatting to each other under the music, a tug on my hand brought me back around to stare at Sutan as we shuffled our way through all the people and towards the bar.   
‘’You missed the last performance about twenty minutes ago’’ He informed me and I nodded a little as I settled against the side of the bar once we reached it.   
‘’Were they good tonight, or was it not a good night because you weren’t performing’’ I laughed out to Sutan who winked at me.   
‘’They were amazing, you should’ve come a littler earlier, I think you would’ve liked it’’ He told me and I grinned a little before shaking my head and let myself turn back to watch people dancing to the loud music.   
‘’Hey Andy, can I get two beers?’’ He called out to the barman who smiled and nodded towards him before he turned back and finished serving the girl he was talking too at the moment before reaching down and grabbed two bottles from the cooler under the bar top and walked over, undoing the lids for us as he reached us.  
‘’I’ll put them on your tab’’ He told Sutan with a smile, I couldn’t help but notice a small shine in his eyes as he watched him.  
‘’Thanks doll’’ Sutan replied before leaning over the bar top a little and pressed a kiss to Andy’s cheek who in turn blushed deeply before he walked away with a smile on his lips.  
‘’He likes you’’ The words tumbled out my mouth before I could stop myself and I swallowed a mouthful of cold beer and watched as Sutan’s eyes grew wide with shock as if he just realized that he was in reality and looked towards Andy who quickly looked away when their eyes met before Sutan snapped his attention back to me with a grin curling the corners of his lips and a small glint in his eyes which meant that he would be getting up to no good at some point.

Chatting for a while, we finished our first drinks off and soon got some more before we made our way towards a table which was empty and sat down together as we watched people all around us dancing and drinking together before I turned back to Sutan who was staring at the bar still.  
‘’You should just go talk to him babe, the most that could happen is that he ignores you which I doubt he will do considering that he was practically undressing you as you were looking at me’’ I tell him with a smirk as he chocked on his drink slightly and I laughed.   
‘’That’s not true’’ He tried to say and I laughed and raised an eyebrow before nodding back to the bar where Andy was staring through the people at Sutan again, a blush forming on his cheeks as he saw Sutan turn and look at him.

Before I knew it, a few rounds had gone by and I could feel myself swaying on my feet a little as I made my way over to the bar again and rested against the surface before Andy walked over with a smile,   
‘’Another beer and a plain coke for Sutan’’ I called out a tiny bit to him when he smiled and nodded to me, getting the drinks, I winked at him before carefully made my way back to our table, my eyes fixed before me so I didn’t spill anything before I reached Sutan again and sat the drinks down on the sticky table top.

‘’Let Raja come out and come dance with me’’ I whined out to him as I held my hands out and pouted a little towards him as he grinned and took a sip from his glass.  
‘’Tommy, you are starting to get a little bit too drunk’’ He told me before taking my hands and stood up, a grin plastered over my face.   
‘’And you’re not drunk enough’’ I tell him with a smirk as we stood by the table and wrapped our arms around each other as we started to move to the music which was playing through the club loudly.  
‘’Well someone has to look after you when you get drunk baby’’ Sutan whispered in to my ear as we danced and I laughed and pulled him closer to me and pressed my lips against his cheek in a wet kiss before we stopped a few minutes later and sat back down again with a laugh on both of our lips as he picked his drink up again and took a mouthful of it.

Picking my beer bottle back up again I downed a little and swallowed deeply as the bitter burn filled my throat again and I sat back in my seat a little as I finished my bottle off.  
‘’Okay, that’s enough for you’’ Sutan told me and I groaned a little as I put my empty beer bottle back down on to the table top.   
‘’Spoil sport’’ I slurred out to him as he whined at me, laughing I breathed out deeply before I lent against the table and let my hair fall over my eyes a little.   
‘’Man, I need to get laid’’ I mumbled out to myself as I scrunched my face up slightly at the thought and let my eyes zig zag across the table, trying to match up different shapes which were left in the water from the condensation of the drinks.  
‘’Tommy, that’s too much information, as much as I love you babe I don’t want to know about your sex life, or lack of it.’’ Sutan’s words hit my ears and I looked up at him as he laughed loudly.   
‘’Oh shit, I didn’t mean to say that out loud’’ I told him with wide eyes as he laughed and patted my arm gently.

~

By the time I had finished the few songs which Sutan had suggested that I sang, my heart was thrashing against my chest at the response of the crowd, it wasn’t something I had expected on my first night of performing at the club. I had been the last act on stage before the club music started up as I had come in at the last moment but it had been amazing to be on stage again after so long of not doing it.

Closing my eyes backstage, I let myself take a few deep breaths to clear my mind as I lent against the cold wall and smiled to myself before a hand coming down on my shoulder made me jump and eyes fly open to look towards Isaac,  
‘’Sutan wasn’t lying when he told us that you could sing Adam’’ He told me and I smiled a little before nodding as he held a beer out to me,   
‘’Thanks, but I cant drink too much, I’ve gotta drive home and I have classes in the morning’’ I told him as he smiled at me and nodded.  
‘’Have three beers and you will be fine’’ Isaac told me and I laughed before nodding a little to him,   
‘’Alright, but only three and then im bailing’’ I tell him.

Thirty minutes after we had finished our set, Isaac being the drummer of the group I sang with, we made our way out front to the main area of the club instead of staying backstage, as we neared the bar I saw a tuft of blonde hair which quickly caught my attention as I brought the beer to my lips and took a small sip, the bitter taste flowing through my dry mouth quickly and nearly making me want to puke from the taste. Watching as they walked away from the bar, I tilted my head a little and followed with my eyes as they walked towards a table and put drinks down before pulling someone up to dance, my eyes scanning over to see that it was Sutan and I couldn’t help but grin, knowing that the blonde was Tommy.

Telling Isaac that I was going to go and see some of my friends, we said our goodbyes and exchanged numbers for the next time he wanted me to sing with them which he promised would be very soon and I couldn’t help but grin to myself before I started to make my way towards their table slowly once they were both sat down again, stopping every so often as people passed in my way.   
Before I could reach them,  Sutan had already spotted me before he lent forward towards Tommy and whispered something to him as I paused in my walk, Tommy faintly nodding to him before Sutan rose from his seat and winked towards me before walking off, smirking a little. I started walking again and before I knew it I was stood behind Tommy, I could see that the table top was filled with empty glasses and bottles, a small smirk curling my lips again as I placed a gentle hand on Tommy’s shoulder, the moment still making him jump as I lent down and brought my lips to his ear.

‘’Didn’t think I would see you here tonight’’ I whispered in to his ear, a small shiver ran through Tommy’s body as my breath hit his ear.   
‘’Night out’’ he muttered out to me before leaning in to my touch slightly as I slipped my hand up his shoulder and on to his neck lightly, from his words I knew that most of the empty beer bottles were his and not Sutan’s.  
‘’Come dance with me, cause I would love to spend some time with you Tommy’’ I whispered in to his ear again, a small whimper sound came from his lips and I smirked as he nodded and his hand came up before his long fingers curled around mine softly as I helped him to his feet before leading him towards the dancefloor where I found a spot for us and I let his hands go, just to wrap my arms around his waist moments later and pulled him against me so his back was flushed against my chest and his hands clawed at mine tightly to keep himself stood up against my body.

Dancing to the beat of the music, I couldn’t help but pull him against my body tighter as his head came resting back against my shoulder before I felt his ass press back in to my groin, a sweet sound came escaping out of Tommy’s mouth and echoed in to my ear as I bit my lip tightly to stop myself from groaning out against him.   
‘’You feel so good against me’’ Tommy slurred words filled my ear before lips came to press against my jaw, slowly and lightly before they started to move over my skin. Glancing down at him, I noticed for the first time, the dark color around his closed eyes, shadowed by a dark grey almost silver like shadow and the way the lights bounced off the metal rings in his ears.

Moving my hands back to his waist, I pulled him closer to me again before I started to slightly turn my head, his lips falling away from my chin with a small whimper again before it turned in to a breathy groan as I attached my lips to the damp skin of his neck and started to lightly kiss it until I found his pulse point and lightly began to suck over his flesh as I rolled my hips against his body lightly, feeling Tommy’s finger nails dig in to my arm I had wrapped around his waist tightly, I knew I was doing something he liked with the breathy groans and harsh breaths he was given me, almost like a reward for making him feel good.

‘’Mhmm more’’ Tommy moaned out to me as I started to nip and suck at his soft skin,  
‘’Tell me what you want Tommy’’ I breathed out in to his ear as I rubbed small circles in to his hip with my free hand, staring down at him as he started to pull my arm away from his waist, I smiled as he turned around and pressed his small body back against mine again, a small groan leaving my own lips as he rocked his hips against mine and his lips latched on to my jaw again, every so often the tip of his tongue came out to taste  my skin as we kept dancing together.

Tilting my head a little, I watched Tommy’s face the best I could as his lips came to press against my cheek, I couldn’t stop my heart from fluttering as I took in the long dark eye lashes pressed lightly against his creamy pale skin, which seemed to glow like moonlight under the harsh lights of the club’s dancefloor.  
‘’Beautiful’’ I murmured out to him as I turned my head a little more towards him, until I felt the soft forms of his lips press against mine dryly before I lightly licked at the seal of his lips until they parted and the tip of his tongue came pressing against mine, holding him closer to me, our bodies flushed against each others.  Tommy’s lips were softer than I had ever thought they would be and they seemed to move perfectly against mine as I deepened the kiss a little more and licked my way in to his mouth further before the feeling was pulled away all too fast, a whimper pulled from both of our lips as I opened my eyes which I hadn’t noticed that I had closed the moment our lips had touched against each others.

‘’Tommy we have to go’’ Sutan called out to him from about the music, as he gently tugged on the arm of Tommy’s jacket to get his attention.   
‘’No, I don’t want to leave yet’’ Tommy told him as he tried to wiggle his way back in to my arms again.   
‘’Tommy, we have too leave, its important’’ He tried again before pushing what looked like a water bottle in to his hand, ‘’Drink this’’ He demanded and Tommy groaned before swallowing down some of the water after he placed the bottle against his lips.  
‘’Still don’t want to leave’’ He muttered out again between sips as I looked at Sutan whose face looked a little pale in the club’s light.   
‘’Baby, we have too, there’s been an accident…’’Sutan paused and glanced towards me before back to Tommy again, ‘’Hamish has been taking in to hospital’’ He told Tommy quickly but clearly and I felt Tommy tense in my arms almost instantly as the words seeped in to his hazy mind.

‘’Fuck…shit…I need to get to him,’’ He slurred out and tried to leave my arms but tumbled over his feet a little, my arms moving quickly to tighten back around his waist again to steady him on his feet.  
‘’I can drive you if you want, I’ve only had half a beer tonight’’ I told Sutan, he glanced between me and Tommy quickly as if he was thinking about something before he nodded to me.   
‘’That would be great, now I just have to try and get him sobered up more’’ He muttered before pushing the water bottle back to Tommy’s lips again, helping Sutan to get Tommy to walk, we paused at the bar quickly while Sutan grabbed some more bottled water from the bar tender and I kept getting Tommy to drink from the bottle which he had in his hand.

Walking out in to the cold air, I shivered slightly from the drop in temperature and from being in just a short sleeve shirt from where I had left my jacket in the car when I had first arrived at the club. Leading them both over to my car quickly and I lent Tommy against the side, my hand flat against his chest as I held him up and fished in my pockets with my other hand to find my keys before I quickly unlocked the door and helped Tommy in to the back seats as Sutan climbed in the other side of my car and wrapped him up in his arms, his hands pushing the blonde hair back out his face as he kept forcing the water down his throat.

As I watched them in the mirror and as I started the car up, my mind started to wonder at the reasons why Tommy had said that he needed to get to him before I remembered back to the park when he had called out to the small boy who he was with and I wondered who he was to Tommy. Shaking my mind clear of all my thoughts I pulled out of my parking spot and turned on to the road leading to the street before driving towards the highway.

~

‘’Come on Tommy, drink more please’’ Sutan’s voice sounded loud in my ear as the lip of a bottle was pressed to my lips again and I started to swallow down another few mouthfuls of water, my head swimming around slightly.  
‘’I have to see him, I need to know that he is okay’’ I chocked out between the water being forced down my throat and trying to move around, ‘’If anything happens to him, I wont forgive myself, I should never of came out tonight’’ I grumbled out again before a hand pressed down on my arm.  
‘’Stop talking Tommy before you say something you don’t want to, everything will be okay,’’ Sutan’s voice was soft  as he spoke ‘’you just have to keep drinking the water. They wont let you in if you’re still drunk baby’’ Sutan cooed out to me and I nodded a little before letting more water slide down my suddenly dried throat and I lent in to him more, his arms wrapping around me tightly as he petted my hair soothingly, a small throb in the back of my mind reminded me of the alcohol I had drank tonight as I opened my eyes and looked out of the glass at everything as it rushed by before I closed them again and let myself just block everything out as I kept drinking the never ending water which Sutan was passing to me when ever I finished a bottle.

‘’I need to piss.’’ I muttered out to myself after I finished what felt like my hundredth bottle of water.   
‘’Not in my car, I will pull over quickly’’ Came a voice from the front of the car which I wasn’t sure who it was before the movement stopped and I was suddenly being helped out of the car and towards some bushes where I staggered and started to undo my jeans and lent my head back a little, the air icy cold against my overly hot skin as he became exposed.

‘’I spoke my thoughts out again’’ I muttered out as I finished doing my jeans back up and came out from behind the bush, tripping slightly, strong hands caught my arms to stop me from falling to the ground before Sutan took over and pulled me back to the car again.  
‘’I know baby, but how are you feeling?’’ He asked as concerned as we got back in to the back seat again and the car started to move, turning in to Sutan’s warm embrace I breathed out deeply and let my eyes flutter open before close again.  
‘’Headache, tired, feeling like im a water balloon with all the water I’ve drunk and a little drunk still I think’’ I told him as I rested my head against Sutan’s shoulder again and felt myself starting to fall asleep quickly as voice spoke around me quickly and quietly, a water bottle clutched tightly in my hand as fingers stroked though my hair and pulled it away from my sweaty forehead.

‘’Tommy, sweetheart…  wake up baby, come on’’ I stirred a little as I felt someone shaking me before I remembered Sutan’s words and quickly sat up before holding my head as I groaned.  
‘’Fuck, too fast’’ I muttered out before a soft hand pressed against my shoulder and I turned to look at Sutan who was pale and held another bottle of water out to me, taking it from his hands gently, I watched him get out the car and I glanced out the window to see the hospital and I quickly climbed out as I sipped at the water and went to move towards the building when I felt hands gripping my arms and I looked at Sutan again.   
‘’Baby, before we do anything, finish that bottle off for me okay’’ He asked and I stared at him with wide eyes which I could feel starting to water up slightly.   
‘’How can you say that Sutan, I need to get in and see Hamish, I can’t let anything bad happen to him, don’t you understand that?’’ I asked him, my voice strangled slightly before he nodded to me.   
‘’I do baby, but we need to make sure there’s hardly any alcohol in your system or they wont let you see him’’ He told me and I breathed out before I lent back against the car and downed some more of the water as I felt myself start shaking a little.

It wasn’t until strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me in to a toned chest that I realized that there was someone else there with us, but at the point in time I didn’t care who was holding me, I just wanted to get in and see Hamish, to make sure that he was okay.  
‘’Hey, im sure everything will be alright, calm down’’ Who ever it was whispered softly in to my ear, their breath ghosting over it slightly causing a shiver to run through my spine again as I lent against their chest a little more and let my eyes close as I took a few deep breaths, trying to stop myself from shaking.

‘’Okay, I think im alright now, Can we please go in now Sutan, I cant wait any longer’’’ I begged him as I opened my eyes and finished the last of the water and pulled myself away from the arms which held me and made me feel safe a little.  
‘’Are you sure baby?’’ He asked and I threw the bottle at him,   
‘’Sutan, I need to see him, I need to know he’s okay, I swear to god if he’s not im going to murder you for making me come out tonight’’ I yelled at him, tears threaten my eyes again as Sutan nodded before walking over and pulled me in to his arms and hugged me quickly before letting me go and grabbed my hand.   
‘’Come on baby’’ He whispered before dragging me towards the large white building, my stomach twisting with every step closer, I had always hated hospitals and I wasn’t going to start liking them any time soon.

Walking through the doors, I glanced around the brightness before feeling my heart start racing again as Sutan dragged me towards the main desk.   
‘’Tommy… Sutan’’ I turned to see my mama stood near some lifts and I let his and go before rushing over and she pulled me in to a hug, her body shaking a little before I pulled away and looked at her.  
‘’I don’t know what happened, I turned for only a few seconds’’ She cried out to me, fresh tears rolling down her damp and red cheeks as I felt myself start to shake a little.   
‘’Where is he?’’ I asked and she looked over towards Sutan and then in another direction.   
‘’Upstairs, come on’’ She told me before grabbing my hand tightly and my other hand being grabbed by Sutan as we walked towards the stairs knowing it was quicker, I could hear footsteps behind me, telling me that the other person was still with us but I didn’t care, I just wanted to get up the stairs quickly.

When we got there, we were told to wait in the waiting room which I couldn’t do, I just couldn’t sit still as I paced the room, a thumb in my mouth as I chewed on it slightly in nerves as I breathed out deeply.  
‘’Is he okay?’’ I heard someone ask and I glanced around to see someone lent towards Sutan, seeing him look at me, the other person turned and looked towards me an I stopped mid pace and stared towards Adam, shocked that it was him and not someone else, but something deep down inside made me feel better knowing that it was someone I knew the name off and not some stranger I picked up in a club.   
‘’Well, he didn’t say anything so I think he will be fine’’ I heard Sutan tell him as I started to pace again,  before I turned and walked over to the window and stood there for a few minutes just staring out of it.

Feeling a hand on my shoulder I jumped and spun around to see Adam and I knocked his hand off before I walked over to and lent against a wall before I slid down until I was sat on the wall, my knees close to my chest and arms wrapped around them tightly as I chewed on my thumb again.  
‘’Ma please tells me what happened tonight, I need to know’’ I asked her as I looked towards her and she nodded before she walked over and sat in the chair next to where I was on the floor and took a deep breath before Sutan walked over and hugged his arms around her.  
‘’I was getting him ready for bed and he kept running around the room, wanting to sleep in your bed but I told him that he wasn’t allowed so I picked him up and placed him on his bed, I turned my back just for a seconded to grab his top when I heard a crash’’ She breathed out deeply and I could see her starting to shake again as her hands went to her mouth and she closed her eyes.   
‘’Ma…?’’ I whispered out to her,   
‘’I turned back around and he was laying on the floor…he…he fell off the bed and hit his head on the unit hard’’ She whispered and I shook my head slightly before getting up on to my knees and wrapped my arms around her tightly too,   
‘’Ma please don’t blame yourself, it wasn’t your fault, I’ve told him not to climb over his bed before’’ I whispered to her as she held on to me tightly.

‘’Mr. Ratliff I assume?’’ Came a voice and I turned before standing up and nodded to him as he looked around the room before looking towards ma in Sutan’s arms still, ‘’Hamish is stable,  he cut his head open above his left eye which needed a few stitches and he twisted his arm a little so he will have to have it in a sling for a few days, but to your mothers quick thinking, no real harm was done to him’’ I nodded to him as I breathed out a little clearer now.  ‘’But I still want to keep him in for a few days’’ the doctor told me and I froze slightly.   
‘’But why, You just said that he was fine’’ I asked panicked,   
‘’It’s nothing bad, we just want to keep an eye on him, head injures in children his age can often cause compactions a little later on than adults’’ He told me and I nodded again, a new set of worries seeping in to my mind.  
‘’Can I see him?’’ I asked and he nodded a little before I felt my hands shake a little again as he turned and started to walk towards the door of the waiting room,   
‘’Tommy, do you want anyone to come with you?’’ Came a voice and I looked towards Adam before shaking my head and turned towards Sutan.   
‘’Take ma home will you and make sure she’s okay, I will be fine here’’ I tell him and he nodded a little before I turned back to the doctor, ‘’I can stay the night cant I?’’ I asked and he looked at me before sighing a little.   
‘’We don’t normally but given his age and this is his first visit, Im sure we can sort something out for you’’ I nodded and moved towards him and the door quickly, before I followed the doctor out and started to move through the corridors, trailing slightly behind him.

The brightness still hurt my eyes a little but I couldn’t feel any of the booze in my system anymore, most of it being flushed out by the water and by my fear as we got to the hospital.  
‘’He’s sleeping at the moment, we gave him some antibiotics so he wasn’t in pain and he will be out for quite a while’’ The doctor explained to me and I nodded a little as I rubbed my hands over my jaw a little.   
As we walked, I wanted to ask so many questions but my mind seemed to go blank every time I opened my mouth to speak so instead I kept quiet until the doctor reached a side room and stopped.   
‘’He’s right in here, and I will come back in about an hour to check on him and bring some blankets and a pillow for you to stay on the spare bed’’ He told me and I nodded a little before thanking him, breathing out deeply as he walked away, I slowly and quietly pushed the door open and slipped inside before shutting it again and looked over towards the cot where he was laid.

Walking over, I pulled the chair closer to the cot before I reached through the small bars and let my fingers curl around Hamish’s small hand as I bit my lip with the other and bounced my leg a little as I watched him sleep, slowly my eyes started to take in his pale skin and the few stitches above his eye before they ran down to where his arm was held in a sling against his chest, a small tube running to his nose to give him plenty of oxygen and a IV drip attached to the hand I was holding as a small machine beeped in the background and on the other side of the bed as I lent forward on my knees, letting his hand go, I lowered the side of the cot and moved the chair closer again before resting on the bed just staring at him.

Everything was rushing through my mind at the moment and I couldn’t think straight, it was only hours ago that nothing was wrong and that I was enjoying myself and now I was sat in the hospital hoping for the best and for nothing to be wrong when he woke up. Letting his hand go, I sat back in the chair and ran my hand through my hair before sighing and stood up before leaving his room and made my way back to the waiting room again.

~

Watching Tommy pace the waiting room was strange, it was like I just wanted to take him in to my arms and hold him for everything and tell him it would be alright, I watched as he interacted with his family. I wanted sure why I asked him if he wanted any one to come with me, I didn’t even know who the kid was yet Tommy seemed so worried about him.

It had been around ten minutes since Tommy had first left before the door open and he walked back in again, his expression a little softer now before it grew in to shock to see everyone still here,  
‘’I thought I told you to take Ma home Sutan?’’ He asked as he walked over and settled himself on his lap,   
‘’I will, she just needed to calm down a little, she’s gone to use the women’s and Adam said that he will drop us off so we don’t have to get a cab’’ He told Tommy as I sat back against the window, Tommy nodded a little before resting his head on Sutan’s shoulder before leaning up to whisper in to his ear.   
‘’I wont baby, I promise’’ Sutan told him back before kissing his cheek softly with a smile before Tommy got up again as his mam came walking back in to the room again, her face a little clearer now as Tommy walked over and hugged her tightly.

‘’Would you be able to come back after you get home and bring me some clean clothes and some for Hamish, you know how he gets in the mornings if he cant put on his jeans’’ Tommy asked Sutan who nodded with a soft laugh.

‘’Just like you’’ He muttered before standing up and I pushed away from the window and held my keys tightly in my hand,   
‘’Thank you’’ I looked up slightly to see Tommy looking at me and I felt my throat tighten a little before I nodded to him.  ‘’I mean, you didn’t have to drive us but thank you so much Adam’’ Tommy told me again and I smiled at him lightly before nodding again.   
‘’Its fine, im sure you would do the same for your friends’’ I told him and he smiled a little before turning back to the others and exchanged a few more words before he left again.

Walking down to the car I kept quiet until I had unlocked the door and Tommy’s mam got in to the back seat and Sutan turned to face me.  
‘’You don’t say anything about this to anyone understand, if you do, your dead’’ He suddenly told me and I took a step back as I watched him before nodding slowly.   
‘’I...Uhh... yeah,’’ I managed to get out before Sutan smiled at me and grabbed my arm and pulled me back towards the car.   
‘’Tommy’s a great kisser isn’t he,’’ He teased out to me and I laughed a little before blushing as I climbed in to the drivers seat and started the car up before heading towards Tommy’s house.

The drive was silent and a little awkward as I breathed out deeply and lent on the door as I pulled up outside a nice looking home, white building with black beams, quite stylish I thought to myself as they both climbed out, hearing a knock on the window I lowered it and looked up at Sutan as he smiled at me.   
‘’Stay here, you can drop me back off again, I just need to get some things for Tommy and Hamish and then I will be right back out’’ He told me and I nodded to him before watching them walk off up to the front door.

Fiddling with the station buttons for a while, I found a station playing soft songs for a while and I sat back against the car seat and let the warmth soak in to my bones as I closed my eyes and started to sing along with the song.  
 _‘’Shadows fill an empty heart  
as love is fading,   
from all the things that we are,   
but are not saying.  
Can we see beyond the scars  
and make it to the dawn?  
Change the colors of the sky  
and open up to  
the way you make me fee-‘’ _

I trailed off as a knock on the window made me jump and I turned to see Sutan climbing in to the front seat with an arm of clothes and a bag in his other.

‘’And you didn’t put everything in to the bag inside the house because?’’ I asked him with a raised eyebrow and he shrugged slightly,  
‘’Didn’t want you to wait any longer’’ He told me as he placed a pair of black jeans and a dark top on the dashboard before he laughed softly and held up the mini pair of skinny jeans and turned towards me. ‘’He is so like Tommy with his jeans’’ He laughed and I grinned a little before he turned and pushed them in to the bag and grabbed the clothes off the dash and pushed them in as I started the car back up and started to drive back towards the hospital again, my thoughts on what Sutan had meant about the jeans before I panicked slightly and reached in to my pocket for my phone and flipped it open, glancing down quickly, I hit the speed dial before lifting it to my ear.

‘’Hey, sorry it’s late, did I wake you?’’ I asked in to the phone with a small smile as I kept my eyes on the road, the small tired voice on the other end replying back before I laughed softly.   
‘’No, no everything is fine, I just wanted to let you know that I was alright, I know how you worry princess’’ I could feel Sutan’s eyes on me and I ignored it until I had to pull over slightly and I put my phone on speaker and placed it on the hold before I started driving again.

 _‘’What are you doing Adam?’’_ Her voice was quiet and I smiled a little as I drove.   
‘’Driving Jane, I just had to pull over to put you on speaker because it was getting hard to control with one hand’’  
 _‘’Oh, why are you driving I thought you were singing’’_   
‘’I did, a friend had an emergency and Im just helping another friend out, I will be home soon’’ I tell her as I glanced towards Sutan and back to the road again.   
_‘’Adam, I miss you’’_ I could hear her voice break a little and I swallowed a little, feeling bad for leaving her alone for so long.  
‘’I know princess, but I will be home soon, you go to bed and I will come and wake you for a hug when I get home, how does that sound?’’ I asked before I heard her laugh softly, clearly happy.   
_‘’Sounds amazing Adam, I love you’’_  
‘’I love you too Jane, now go get some sleep’’ I tell her.   
‘ _’Bye’’_

I listened as the phone line went dead and I reached over and shut my phone before sitting back again,   
‘’Who was that?’’ Sutan asked and I glanced over at him quickly before back again, I knew that someone would end up finding out some of my secrets and I knew that I could trust Sutan with anything I told him, breathing out deeply I lent over and turned the radio down a little before I sat back again.

‘’It was my older sister’’ I tell him and I could see him nodding a little before he frowned a little,   
‘’She didn’t sound older than you, don’t hate me for saying this but she sounded like she was little’’ He told me and I smiled a little and nodded.   
‘’Yeah, she’s 20 but has the mind of a 12 year old as well as learning difficulties, it’s one of the reasons why we moved down to here’’ I told him before I chewed on my lip lightly and looked out the window.  
‘’Oh right, she sounds nice, sounds like you have a good bond with each other’’ He tells me and I grinned a little at him and nodded again.   
‘’We do, I would do anything for her. No matter how pissed of I could be, I just have to see her smiling at me and I feel everything that pissed me off go and I feel happy again’’ I tell him with a smile as I pulled of the highway and turned on to the road to lead towards the hospital again. ‘’But could you not tell anyone, I don’t want things to happen like they did back in San Fran’’ I asked him and I saw him nod out the corner of my eyes.   
‘’It’s safe with me Adam’’ He tells me and I smiled.

~

I wanted to ask Sutan about Hamish as I parked the car and we both got out and I locked up before we made our way towards the main doors and slipped inside the quiet building before walking over to the elevators and I pressed the button for Sutan as he held the bag in his hands and a black bundle under his other arm.

‘’When did that, get under your arm?’’ I asked him as I pointed to the black bundle before stepping inside the lift as the doors opened, once Sutan was instead too I hit the 4th floor button and rested back against the wall as I turned to look at him.  
‘’I know how much they like it so I thought I would bring it along’’ he shrugged to me and I laughed a little before shaking my head.   
‘’Tommy really seems to care for the boy, Hamish wasn’t it?’’ I asked and I saw something flash across Sutan’s eyes before he turned a little and looked at the doors before nodding,  
‘’Yeah he does, just like you care for your sister’’ He tells me but I can tell by the tone in his voice that he didn’t want to be talking about Tommy and the kid at the moment and I silently nodded to myself and looked up as the doors opened and he walked out, passing through them quickly before they could shut again, we walked towards the small nurses station in the ward.  
‘’Hamish Ratliff, we are here to drop some things of for him and Tommy’’ Sutan told the nurse quietly and she typed at a computer before smiling up at him.   
‘’Just down the hall, second room on the right, cant miss it there’s a large cartoon elephant painted on the wall beside the door’’ She said back just as quietly and I smiled at her as Sutan nodded and spoke a quick thanks and we were walking again.

‘’These places gives me the creep’s’’ I muttered out to Sutan who grinned at me and raised an eyebrow,   
‘’Tommy hates hospital’s, a few years ago he broke his arm and tried hiding it from anyone just so he wouldn’t have to come t hospital but I had grabbed it one day in excitement and he cried out so I forced him here’’ I laughed slightly at his words before shaking my head,  the images of Tommy hiding a bruised arm under a baggy hoody or something filled my mind easily.

Looking up as Sutan slowed down, I found myself staring back at a brightly painted elephant and I laughed to myself quietly at the nurses words and I glanced over at Sutan who had a smirk on his lips before he turned and walked over to the room and peered in through the little gap in the door before he turned back and held his finger to his lips as he started to slowly open the door and slipped inside, following him quickly, I turned and closed the door just as quietly before I turned around and stepped further in to the room.

Glancing around the room I noticed a small bed tucked towards the side of the room with a blanket still folded up and a pillow laid on top neatly on top and I turned to look towards the bed in the middle of the room. Hamish was laid in the middle curled up slightly with his arm against his chest in a sling, a small wound above his eye with white stitches, it was still a little red and there was a little bump still but he looked healthy, his tiny body was curled up next to Tommy who was laid on the bed and half propped up by the pillows, one arm under Hamish’s body slightly and his other draped across his legs as if he had been holding the small boy close to him before he fell asleep.

‘’They look so much like each other’’ I whispered out to Sutan who had walked over to the other bed and placed the bag down on to it before picking the black bundle up and unfolded it before walking over and laid the blanket over the two boys asleep on the bed before he walked over with a smile and nodded to me.   
‘’I should hope so, they are family after all’’ Sutan whispered back to me and I looked at him before back towards Tommy again, it all made sense now.   
‘’I should’ve realised that it would’ve been his brother’’ I whispered out to him again and I glanced to see Sutan staring at me with a raised eyebrow before it quickly fell and he nodded.

Walking over towards the bed quietly, I placed my hands on the chair and moved it out the way a little before I walked towards the end and carefully started to untie Tommy’s boots before sliding them off his feet, my eyes flicking up to check that I hadn’t woken him up every so often as I made my movements slow.   
Sutan chuckled and I looked towards him confused as he rolled his eyes and walked over before pulling Tommy’s arm out from under the smaller boy’s and started to pull his jacket off  before he laid Tommy back down carefully again and picked the jacket back up off the bed and folded it over his arm.

‘’The boy sleeps like the dead’’ Sutan told me quietly with a smirk as he placed the jacket on the other bed. Turning away from the sleeping pair I smiled and crossed my arms again as I yawned a tiny bit.   
‘’He’s lucky to have a friend like you’’ I whispered out to him and he looked up quickly from his phone where he was sat on the bed and glanced towards Tommy before back to me with a smile again and nodded.   
‘’More like im lucky to have him as a friend, back in high school he defended me when I came to school as Raja once when she first started to appear’’ He told me quietly and I nodded, before I had turned up at the club, Sutan had described his whole act as a drag queen to me and even gave me a few tips on make up to look good under the clubs heavy lights.

‘’Daddy’’ A small voice called out, filled with sleep and a slight tremor, before I could stop myself I had looked up to see Sutan’s eyes wide before he looked towards the bed and quickly stood before walking over, my eyes following as Hamish stirred again.  
‘’Hey baby, why don’t you go back to sleep huh?’’ Sutan asked before a few tears started to fall down the boy’s cheek.   
‘’No, I want Daddy’’ the boy cried a little bit louder and Tommy started to stir a little,

‘’Out’’ Sutan’s voice came and I jumped a little before he turned and stared at me, ‘’I said out’’ He told me again and I was confused a little at his sudden change before he walked over and started to push me towards the door and opened it, ‘’Just go home now Adam, im going to stay with the boys tonight to make sure they are okay and to stop Tommy from freaking out’’ Sutan whispered to me before I nodded and stepped out the doorway, which was quickly closed again.

Peering through the small window I saw Sutan walk over to Tommy and nudge him a little until his eyes flickered open, clouded before I saw Hamish call out again and Tommy suddenly looked wide awake as he turned and looked down at the boy before he shuffled down the bed a little and stroked the little boys cheek softly while talking to him, I could see his lips moving but couldn’t see what he was saying. Sighing, I turned and started to walk back towards the elevators and pressed the button before waiting for it to turn up.   
Stepping inside them, I pushed the button for ground floor before leaning back against the wall and yawned loudly to myself and crossed my arms over my chest and played with the keys in my hand.

 

It didn’t take me long to drive back home, pulling in to the drive way, I killed the engine off before getting out and locked the doors before turning and walked up to the front door and unlocked it, glancing down the hall, I could see a faint light coming from around the corner and I quietly shut the door again before locking it and made my way towards the living room to see my own ma laid sleeping on the couch with my dad. Smiling a little I walked over and pulled the throw over them before I headed out again and up the stairs where I walked towards Jane’s room and quietly slipped inside and over to her bed where I climbed on to the side of it.

‘’Jane’’ I whispered to her as I reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear before she grumbled in her sleep and I laughed softly and shook my head, ‘’Hey sleep, Im home’’ I whispered in to her ear softly before she turned and her hand came out against my chest as she snuggled in to my side.  
‘’Missed you Adam’’, her voice was filled with sleep and I knew that she wasn’t fully awake and I smiled before I let myself settle down next to her and let myself fall asleep with images of Tommy filling my mind from the hospital.


	3. Cause you're behind my eyelids when im all alone.

‘’Adam’’ A giggle ran out and I groaned a little before feeling the ache run through all my legs and arms as I turned over a little and stretched.  
‘’What?’’ I muttered out as I slowly sat up and ran a hand through my hair as I yawned again, my bones clicking slightly as I worked out the kinks and knots.  
‘’Your going to be late for class and there’s someone downstairs for you’’ Jane told me brightly as I nodded and slowly pushed the covers back and climbed off her bed as I took her hand and pulled her closer to me in to a hug before I kissed the top of her head. ‘’Hurry up before he gets bored’’ She grinned out before kissing my cheek and ran out the room again.    
By the time I had finished changing in to some fresh clothes and sorted out my panda eyes I sat on the edge of my bed and let my eyes slide close before I saw a small blonde boy stood in front of me, his brown eyes boring in to my blue as he smiled cutely and shyly, his eyes lowering slightly as his bangs fell in to his face, shaking my head softly I stepped towards him, his eyes moving up to meet mine again as I lifted a hand and gently ran it through his hair, I was mesmerised by how he leaned in to my touch and let his eyes settle half close as I stroked his hair gently before I slipped my hand down on to his neck, my other arm circling around his waist, bringing him closer as his hands softly folded around my jacket I was wearing.  
Quickly the image faded away from my mind before it was replaced by a new one, I was watching him from across the room as he sat close to another guy, a smile on both of their lips as they laughed about something before Tommy reached up and pushed his glasses back up his nose and turned a page in the book in front of them and started to talk to him, I started to take notice of the small things which he done when he concentrated, the small bites to his lower lip as he paused in his speech, the small frown lines which appeared on his forehead as he wrote and then crossed it out once he realized he made a mistake before they softened as he corrected it and the other boy nodded. I watched as Tommy slowly looked up and then around the room before his sight fell on me watching him, a small blush forming on his cheeks as he turned back quickly and looked back down at the book as his free hand reached up and he played with the small silver rings in his ears before the blush faded and he started to talk again to the boy.

‘’Adammmmmm’’ I groaned out loud before letting my eyes open as I sat up and grabbed my phone and walked out my room and jogged down the stairs.  
‘’Okay, Im sorry Jane, I zoned out’’ I snapped out to her slightly as I walked in to the kitchen as I tugged a jacket on which I had picked up in the hall way before I paused and groaned, turning around I walked back over to Jane and pulled her in to another hug and lightly kissed the top of her head. ‘’Im sorry baby, I didn’t mean to snap at you’’ I muttered out to her as I rubbed her back gently.  
‘’Its okay, ‘’ She mumbled out to me before she pulled away with a smile before she lent up and kissed my cheek gently  
‘’I’ll make it up to you later with a movie, yeah?’’ I asked her before she grinned and clapped her hands together.  
‘’Disney’’ She asked hopefully with a smile before I laughed and nodded my head,  
‘’Sure baby, whatever you want to watch we can okay’’ I tell her as I grabbed my keys and looked up as I heard footsteps from the living room, out in to the hallway, my eyes falling on tight jeans and bright pink boots before I looked up to see a smiling Sutan and I raised an eyebrow slightly.

Saying a quick goodbye to Jane, I opened the front door for him to walk out before I followed and pushed my hands in to my pockets.  
‘’How, did you find out where I live?’’ I asked him as I glanced over and he smirked,  
‘’the college office lady seems to get distracted easily and I slipped in to the records database’’ He told me and I laughed slightly and ran a hand across the back of my neck.  
‘’So what brings you here anyway?’’ I asked him, ‘’Cause im pretty sure you have a ride to college and you wouldn’t come all this way for nothing’’ I pulled my keys out as I slowed next to the drive way and my car.  
‘’Yeah, I wanted to ask you if you could sing for one of my acts at the club tonight’’ He grinned out to me as he walked around to the side of the car and pulled the passengers side door open as I unlocked it.  
‘’You want me to sing for Raja?’’ I asked him as he nodded before getting in.

Standing there I laid my hands flat on the car roof before slowly pulling the door open and slipped in myself, closing the door I started the car up and looked over at him,  
‘’Sure,  I will do it, when do you want me there?’’ I asked him as he reached over and started to fiddle with the radio as he told me the times. ‘’Dude, keep doing that and I wont’’ I warned him before he frowned at me with a huff and sat back again as I started to pull out the driveway.  
‘’How is Tommy?’’ I asked gently as I glanced towards him and back to the road again, the trees and houses fading out slightly as we reached the main roads before they turned in to shops and other things.  
‘’He’s fine, tired. After you left he was up half the night trying to get Hamish to sleep again but the poor little dude was in pain so it took a while because he wasn’t allowed anymore medicine with the ones he had already’’ He explained and I nodded slightly as I yawned and then cracked my neck slightly.  
‘’How about you, because you stayed with them didn’t you?’’ I asked and glanced over to see him nodding,  
‘’Yeah, I slept on the spare cot because Tommy fell asleep on the bed again, its lucky I did take that black blanket of theirs or one of us would’ve gone cold’’ He laughed, ‘’But I left around seven this morning so I could grab some spare things for classes and popped around Tommy’s to grab some extra stuff for him for when he comes in to class later’’ I nodded to him as he spoke and turned off towards the college grounds.  
‘’Don’t take this the wrong way but, if Hamish is Tommy’s brother, why is he the one there and not their mom?’’ I asked before the car fell silent for a while. Pulling up in an empty space I looked towards Sutan to find him staring at me,  
‘’that’s not for me to say anything about’’ He told me before getting out the car and quickly left me alone to my thoughts as I watched him walk across the car park and disappear in to the crowd of people.

~  
The smell...

The smell was the first thing I noticed when I woke up, the same stomach turning feeling brought the bile to my throat as I rolled off the bed and rushed across the room and pulled the door open to the small bathroom, falling to my knees hard I pulled the lid of the toilet open as I lent over and let everything come up and in to the porcelain bowl before I flushed and sat back against the wall, a slight chill running through my body as I stood and quickly washed my face and stared in to the mirror.

I had to get through my hatred of hospitals for Hamish.  I just had too.

Walking back out, I headed over to the bed and checked on him, seeing him sleeping I smiled softly before leaning down and pressed a gently kiss to the side of his head which wasn’t bruised or covered in stitches before pulling the blanket up over and around him more. He looked so small and fragile in the middle of the large bed and I sighed as I pulled the side up to stop him from falling off it and turned towards the spare cot which had been placed in the room for me to stay on.  
Sitting down I let my feet slip in to my boots before I quickly tied them and grabbed my jacket before I made my way towards the door and pulled it open, pausing I glanced back to Hamish and stood watching him for a few seconds before I turned and headed out his room and down the hallway before I reached the nurses station and smiled at her softly.  
‘’I have to go to college and grab some work from classes, I should be gone for an hour maybe two at the most but if he wakes up, can you ring me so I can get back as quickly as I can because I know he hates to be alone in places he don’t know.’’ I asked the middle aged women who smiled back and rested her hand on top of my gently.  
‘’Sure son, he will be fine okay so there’s no need to worry about the little thing. He’s safe here’’ She told me and I nodded with a smile.  
‘’Thank you’’ I told her before she let my hand go and I walked towards the elevators and pressed the call button before shrugging my jacket on and ran a hand through my knotted hair as I waited.  
Reaching the lower floor, I headed out the building, taken a deep breath as I reached the fresh air and walked towards where some taxis were parked. Getting in I told the driver where to go before paying him and sat back again as he started to drive, my eyes on the world outside the window and thumb nail in my mouth as I lightly chewed on it, my nail polish cracking under my teeth as I fell in to a deep thought.

Adam Lambert.

I sighed deeply as my thoughts turned back to him, back to the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around my small frame as we stood outside the hospital when we had first arrived, the feeling of being safe against him filled my mind and I shivered slightly as I let my eyes close and think back to the club, the feeling of his body moving against mine, his hands holding me tightly to him as his lips explored my neck, reaching up I let my fingers trail over my neck slightly from where he had nibbled at my skin and sucked, not sure if I had a mark there or not before I started to remember the things I had said to him as my back was against his chest, his arms around me tightly. Blushing at my memories I shook my head clear and opened my eyes again to see that we had stopped and the driver was turned in his seat looking at me, blushing again I quickly thanked him before getting out and half ran towards the campus buildings and towards the stage where I knew Sutan would be at this hour of the day. Turning the corner I headed towards the back of the building and towards the back door so I could come out on the stage instead of coming through the whole building.  
Pulling the heavy door open, I slipped inside and made my way through the semi lit area of backstage, my hands fumblering with the zip on my jacket as I walked knowing that Sutan would have a change of clothing for me.

‘’No, no, no, Im going to be singing too, but not all the time, only when I feel like it so you have to know the words and the timing perfectly too’’ Sutan’s voice sounded out loud and I smirked slightly at who ever had been roped in to a performance with him as I came around the corner and headed towards the stage wings.  
‘’Again please’’ Sutan’s voice sounded as I kept walking with a smirk on my lips.

_‘’There’s a new wind blowin’ like I’ve never known  
I’m breathin’ deeper than I’ve ever done  
And it sure feels good, to finally feel the way I do.  
Now, I wanna love somebody  
Love somebody like you  
An’ I’m lettin’ go of all my lonely yesterdays  
I’ve forgiven myself for the mistakes I’ve made  
Now there’s just one thing, the only thing I wanna do, mmm, mmm’’_

I reached the wing and started to walk out slightly before I froze in my steps as I saw Sutan moving around in his routine, but my eyes didn’t stare on him as I looked just behind him to see Adam stood there against the piano with paper in his hands as he sang, His long legs stretched out in front of him slightly as his mouth moved along to the words, I soon found myself standing there, hands on my jacket mid tug as I watched him sing.

_‘’I wanna love somebody  
Love somebody like you  
Yeah, I wanna feel the sunshine  
Shinin’ down on me and you  
When you put your arms around me  
You let me know there’s nothing in this world I can’t do’’  
I used to run in circles going’ no-where fast  
I’d take, uh, one step forward and two steps back,  
couldn’t walk a straight line even if I wanted to, mmm, mmm’’_

I stared as Adam slowly pushed himself away from the instrument and started to pace a little before he paused and let the music which was playing from the stereo fill around us with his words as Sutan moved around, every so often joining in with the song. My eyes following every movement which Adam made, it was like I was transfixed on him and wasn’t able to move from the spot where I was.

_‘’I wanna love somebody  
Love somebody like you  
Whoa here we go now  
Yeah, I wanna feel the sunshine  
Shinin’ down on me and you  
When you put your arms around me  
Well, baby there ain’t nothing in this world I can’t do  
Sometimes it’s hard for me to understand  
but you’re teachin’ me to be a better man  
I don’t want to take this life for granted like I used to do, no, no’’_

My mind and body went numb as he started to sway his hips slightly and let his head nod to the beat playing as he pelted out the notes and lyrics, by now Sutan had stopped dancing and chosen to sit on the stage, lent back on his elbows as he watched Adam sing aswell, a smile on his face like he knew that Adam could sing already. __

_‘’I wanna love somebody  
Love somebody like you  
I’m ready to love somebody  
Love somebody like you, ooh  
An’ I wanna love somebody  
Love somebody like you, yeah  
Oh yeah oh, I wanna be the man in the middle of the night  
Shinin’ like it’s true  
I wanna be the man that you run to whenever I call on you  
when everything that loved someone finally found it’s way  
Wanna be a better man, I see it in you, yeah, yeah, yeah,  
I wanna love somebody  
Love somebody like you  
I’m ready to love somebody  
Love somebody like you, ooh  
An’ I wanna love somebody  
Love somebody like you…’’ _

I watched in horror as Adam turned and his blue eyes caught mine as he sang the last few lines before it faded out as he stopped, my heart finally catching up with me quickly, the feeling of it crashing against my chest was loud in my ears and I swore that they could hear it as my cheeks started to warm up slightly and I took a few steps back before I started to turn.  
‘’Tommy, I thought you were coming in later?’’ Came Sutan’s voice and I cursed to myself slightly as I turned back around and he smiled at me before offering his arms out, walking over to him I let myself get wrapped up in to them, my face burying in to his chest slightly as I breathed out deeply and yawned a little.  
Pulling away I smiled up at him a little, ‘’I just wanted to grab some work and get back before Hamish woke up’’ I told him and he nodded with a smile before kissing my forehead, I sighed a little as he turned and walked away, knowing that I had lipstick on my skin, reaching up I rubbed my sleeve over my forehead before heading over to the edge of the stage where he was starting to walk down the steps, jumping down I headed over to the seats before pulling my jacket off and threw it on the back of the closest seat as Sutan held out my bag for me.  
‘’Thanks’’ I tell him as I set it down on the seat and started to undo it before pulling out a clean shirt and laid it over the arm before I done the same with my jeans. Reaching up I grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled it up over my head before tugging my arms out of the long sleeves, pushing it in to my bag I grabbed the clean shirt and pulled it on over my head before slipping my tattooed arms through the shorter sleeves and ruffled my hand through my hair again before I started to undo my jeans.  
‘’Tommy, Baby’’ Sutan started and I looked up at him as I unzipped my jeans, his eyes looking at me before he glanced towards the stage to where I knew Adam was still stood before I shrugged and went back to kicking my shoes off before pushing my jeans down and stood out of them. Slipping my feet in to my cleaner ones I bit my lip slightly as I tugged the tighter jeans up my legs and then over  my thighs before I started to do them up and slipped my boots before on again.  Pushing my clothes back in to my bag, I picked my hoody up which Sutan had placed beside my jacket and tugged it on, the hood catching on my head and staying up as I let my eyes close and breathed in deeply, it smelt like Hamish and I smiled a little before I opened my eyes and pushed my hood back and grabbed my jacket and tugged it on over, glad that they both fitted perfectly on my small body. Doing my bag up I slipped it over my shoulders and let it rest against my thigh before I turned back to Sutan and smiled at him before hugging him tightly.  
‘’Will you give me a lift back to the hospital once I got my work?’’ I asked him and he sighed before running his long fingers through my hair softly,  
‘’Adam gave me a lift this morning baby… but im sure he cou-‘’ He started and I cut him off as I shook my head,  
‘’Its fine, I will just grab a taxi again’’ I muttered to him as I lent up and kissed his cheek softly.

Brown eyes stared in to mine as I suddenly trailed off from where I was singing, I had mentally kicked myself for walking around and just happen to sing that line when our eyes met, I had no idea what to say or do as he stepped backwards and started to turn before Sutan had scrambled to his feet and called him back and opened his arms up for Tommy.  I watched their exchange silently as I moved back towards the piano and sat down on the bench as they both headed across the stage and off it.  
I couldn’t help but stare as he pulled his shirt off, the paper in my hands suddenly being gripped harder as more and more of his pale skin came in to view as the shirt was pulled up and over his head before his arms came in to view, tattoos covering one fully before a few on his other, my eyes straining, trying to see what they were before Sutan started to speak and I quickly tore my eyes away and looked down at the paper to try and make out that I wasn’t watching before I glanced up to see him pulling his jeans down and then pull on even tighter ones. Breathing out deeply again I tore my eyes away as they started talking, a few of their words hitting me before I looked up to see him lean up and kiss Sutan’s cheek before he looked over at me, our eyes meeting again before he turned and started to walk up towards the stairs of the theater and then out through the double doors.

‘’Well that went soothingly’’ Sutan joked as he walked back up on to the stage and over to me with a bright smile on his face as I scratched the back of my neck and nodded a little towards him.  
‘’Like the view you got?’’ He asked smugly and I looked up at him quickly again with a blush starting to darken my neck a little before slowly creeping towards my cheeks and the tip of my ears.  
‘’I don’t know what you mean’’ I tell him quickly as I turned and walked towards my bag to put the paper in and grab my things to head home again.  
‘’Lay of it Adam, you were practically fucking him with your eyes as he changed’’ Sutan boldly said to me as I Stood and put my bag over my shoulders as I turned with wide eyes.  
‘’I was not’’ I protested back against him as he laughed and placed a hand on his hip.  
‘’Darling look, I know you like him, that’s why I left in the club when you were walking over, that’s why I left you along when you pulled him to the dance floor, if I didn’t get the phone call from his mom I would’ve probably let you both fuck each other mouths even longer before I dragged his drunk ass home to bed’’ He told me with a smile as he walked over and trailed his finger down my chest again. ‘’You were staring at him as he changed, hell you were staring since you first saw him, he had told me that and it freaks him out by the way’’ Sutan laughed and I swallowed a little before shaking my head.  ‘’Oh Adam, don’t bother lying, I don’t care, im glad for it, he deserves to have someone good in his life and you fit that role perfectly but I do know that Tommy isn’t going to let you get close to him again like you did in the club, he has a lot of things hidden away which no one knows about apart from me.’’ Sutan words hit me hard and I tried my best to try and get every single word in to my mind in the right order and try to understand them as he spoke.

‘’What do you mean he has a lot of things hidden away?’’ I asked Sutan as he beamed slightly.  
‘’I knew you liked him, but there’s a whole lot more to Tommy then what you can see Adam, Tommy is delicate, easy to break if not treated right, that’s why Im his only friend in this college apart from a few others who only talks to him when he tutors them’’ Sutan told me and I nodded slightly before breathing out deeply.  
‘’So what do I have to do to get closer to him again then?’’ I asked Sutan before I could stop my lips from moving as each word spilled from them.  
‘’Be yourself, don’t try and push to hard or he will just run away, be gently and careful with my baby’’ He told me with a smile, ‘’Oh and give him coffee when he seems grumpy or in a bad mood, god knows how that boy stays so thin, all he ever eats is junk food and drinks coffee’’ He laughed as he turned and walked across the stage to the stereo and turned the music off. I nodded to myself as I checked through the list of things which he had just old me before I turned back to Sutan again with a small smile.  
‘’He’s good with a guitar,’’ I tell him and Sutan smiled widely and nodded,  
‘’that’s his second baby, nothing could come between him and that thing’’ He told me back as he tucked the cd away in to its case.  
‘’What’s his first?’’ I pressed him as I stepped closer a little and Sutan’s eyes met mine before he shook his head.  
‘’I can’t tell you that’’ He told me before sighing and turned towards the stairs again. ‘’But maybe he will let you know himself one day soon’’ He muttered out just loud enough for me to hear.  
Heading out the music department, I let myself get lost in my thoughts as I started to walk across campus and towards where I had parked my car this morning when I saw the tuft of blonde hair again, arms full of books and head down as he walked.

~  
‘’Hey Tommy, hold up a second’’ A voice shouted from behind me and I sighed a little, I had gotten most of my work which needed to be done and handed in soon along with a few books to start helping me with my next course which would be starting in a few weeks, but other than that I just wanted to get back to the hospital again before anything happened, which meant no one stopping me to talk or ask for help.  
Turning to look over my shoulder slightly, I saw Adam jogging towards me and I groaned a little before tighten my arms around the few books and papers,  
‘’what do you want Adam?’’ I asked frustrated a little as he reached me and took a few deep breaths as he caught his breath back and looked up at me,  
‘’Uh…oh, you dropped this back there’’ he breathed out to me before holding up a book and a few papers which I hadn’t noticed leave the pile in my arms.  
‘’Oh, umm thanks Adam’’ I muttered out to him as I shifted the pile in my arms and reached out to grab the pages and books from him, letting my fingers curl around the edges I felt the pile shift slightly in my arm before they started to fall, moving quickly I managed to grab a few before Adam reached out and grabbed the others before they had time to scatter across the ground.  
‘’Thanks’’ I muttered out quietly to him as he took them from my arms, swinging my bag around I opened it up before I took some of the papers back from him and pushed them in along with a few books before doing it up again, reaching back up I softly took the remaining books from Adam’s hands, our fingertips brushing against each others, glancing up at him quickly I looked away again before I held my books to my chest tightly to my chest as I turned and started to walk away again.

Get over yourself Tommy, you both had something to drink and you were drunk, it meant nothing. I told myself as I walked and kept my eyes on the ground when I noticed a pair of boots walking softly next to mine, looking up slowly at Adam, I sighed quietly before stopping.  
‘’What do you want?’’ I asked him as I finally let my eyes meet the blue oceans which were his,  
‘’I just wanted to know if you wanted a lift anywhere?’’ He asked softly and I searched his eyes a little before breathing out deeply and lent my head back before looking forward again.  
‘’If I let you, will you leave me alone then?’’ I asked flustered slightly as I pulled my phone out and checked the time before pushing it back in to my pocket again.  
It had been an hour and 15 minutes since I left the hospital and there was still no phone call which meant Hamish was still asleep and nothing was wrong.  
‘’I know you’re worried about your little brother, but I was wondering if you just wanted to go grab a coffee before I dropped you back off at the hospital again?’’ He asked me and I looked at him with a raised eyebrow slightly, a quick blush making its way up his neck slightly. ‘’I know that’s where your probably going too again’’ He quickly added and I nodded slightly before I thought about it.  
‘’Fine, one coffee and then I want to get back to Hamish as soon as I can and before he wakes up mostly’’ I told Adam as he smiled and nodded a little.

Stupid, stupid fool

Slowly I followed Adam to his car before sliding my books and bag in to the trunk of his car as he put his in, none of us making a sound as he closed it and we both walked around to the front of the car and climbed in. watching out the window as he started to pull out the space, I softly chewed on my lower lip before I lent forward a little in my seat and let my fingers brush over the dials of his radio until a soft rock station started to play through the speakers,  feeling his eyes on me, I glanced up a little to see Adam watching me before he turned back to the road with a small smile on those soft lips of his.  
‘’Sorry, I should’ve asked first’’ I quickly told him as I sat back in the seat again and pushed my hands between my thighs softly to stop myself from touching anything else in his car.  
‘’Its fine Tommy, I don’t mind’’ He whispered out to me softly before I felt him look at me again, turning slightly I let my eyes catch his before he moved back to watching the road quickly again as he drove.  
Letting myself watch him from under my bangs a little, I took in how his eyes seemed to dance over the road before he pulled in to another lane, his lower lip being sucked in to his mouth slightly before let go again as he let his lips move along with the words of the current song playing,  looking down slightly I let my eyes travel over  his arms until they reached his hands which were curled around the steering wheel,  the reminder of them being wrapped around me holding me against his body was still burning brightly in my mind and I blushed slightly before I turned away and stared out the window.  
‘’Are you alright Tommy?’’ Adam’s voice was soft as I looked back over at him to find him staring at me and I nodded slightly.  
‘’Fine, just thinking’’ I told him before I turned back out the window again and let my head rest against it slightly.  
‘’Okay’’ His voice was low as if he was talking to himself before the car started to move again, the car was silent apart from the radio playing when he pulled up outside a small coffee shop and brought the car to a stand still, the engine still running.

‘’Im sorry if I forced myself on you last night’’ Hearing his words caught me off guard slightly as I looked up at him to see him staring down at his hands as he played around with a few of his rings and I smiled lightly before yawning a little, my hand coming up to cover my mouth quickly.  
‘’You didn’t force yourself on me’’ I told him quietly, a small blush forming over my cheeks as I remembered the things I said to him while we were on the dancefloor. The feeling of his eyes were on me again as I kept my eyes on my own lap,  
‘’Okay, I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t making you feel awkward’’ He told me and I nodded slightly as I glanced up at him with a small smile before I turned and started to get out the car, the sound of the engine being turned off before another door opened and closed at the same time as mine as Adam got out before locking it up.  
Pulling the sleeves of my hoody down a little more from under my jacket so they covered my hands, I reached up and ran my hand through my hair before I softly yawned behind my hand again.  
‘’Come on, lets get you some coffee and wake you up a little’’ Adam laughed out softly and I looked over at him to see him smiling at me with a gently look before he turned and started to walk towards the door of the shop before I started to follow him.  
The shop was warm and the smell of coffee hit me instantly as I breathed in deeply, the warmth spreading through my body as I stood in the door way.  
’’Tommy’’ Adam’s soft voice filtered through my thoughts and I turned to stare at him as he smiled softly and nodded towards some empty seats. ‘’You go and sit down, I will get the drinks’’ He told me and I nodded softly before walking towards the empty table near the back and slipped in to the seat before I instantly pulled my phone out and tapped the screen twice for it to come up and revel that I had no missed calls or texts.

Leaning forward I laid my hands on the table before resting my head against them just staring at the wall a little, reading the large poster which was there before my eyes started to slowly close on their own.  
Large hands wrapped around my hips, gently tugging me closer to their body as we swayed to the music, the lights low enough to make it harder to see at least five feet in front of you, but my thoughts were cut of as a hand snaked up my arm and gently folded around my throat, tilting my head back against their shoulder as lips pressed softly against the exposed skin there.  It wasn’t long before they moved across my neck and worked their way down on to my shoulder where they lightly started to nip at my skin before pulling away completely a soft whimper leaving my lips as I blinked my eyes open and spun around searching for the source of feelings before a hand on my shoulder made me jump.

‘’Tommy, wake up’’ The hand on my shoulder shook my slightly and I jumped before rubbing my eyes a little and started to sit up before I let my eyes flicker open to look across at Adam who was sat with a coffee in his hand and a soft smile on his lips. My eyes looked down at his cup to see empty a little before he laughed softly. ‘’Don’t worry Tommy, you needed to sleep a little’’ He told me and I blushed slightly as I felt his hand finally leave my shoulder and pushed another cup towards me.  
‘’Thanks’’ I told him quietly as I wrapped my fingers around it and pulled it closer, the smell filling my nose before I lifted it to my lips and drank a little down, ignoring the burn as it slipped down my throat. Reaching out I picked my phone up and tapped the screen again to nothing again before a soft sigh left my lips.  
‘’What were you dreaming about?’’ Adam asked and I looked up at him confused slightly which he must’ve noticed. ‘’You whimpered and turned in to my touch slightly when I tried waking you up’’ He told me and I blushed quickly as I lowered my eyes down again and took another sip from my coffee.  
‘’It was nothing.’’ I told him as I kept my eyes on my drink and lent on the table a little with my elbows.  
‘’Oh, okay... how are you feeling anyway?’’ He asked and I flicked my eyes up to him, his own looking at me before he lowered them and brought his own drink to his lips.  
‘’Okay I guess, tired a little had a long night with Hamish, aswell as being in a hospital which I hate’’ I told him with a soft grin before I swallowed some more of the coffee down, the feeling of it warming my body from inside out felt great as well as the feeling of it waking me up more.  
‘’that’s good, you should try to sleep more, maybe your mom could stay with your brother ‘’ He said softly and my eyes shot back up to look at him to find he was staring at the table and fiddling around with a few of the sugar packets.

I shook my head gently and looked back down, he was getting to close to anything and I didn’t like it, I didn’t want him to know anything.  
‘’I don’t mind, Hamish has always been close to me’’ I told him as I finished my coffee off and placed it on the table again as he nodded and let himself look up at me.  
‘’I’ve always had a close bond with my sister too’’ He told me with a smile and I nodded slightly not knowing why he was telling me anything to do with himself. ‘’She has learning disability’s so I’ve always looked after her despite her being three years older than me’’ He laughed and ran his hand through his hair, ‘’But Jane is my world and I would do anything for her, even with all the beatings I used to get for sticking up for her and for being gay, it was worth it but it started to get too much for Jane and my parents so they moved us here to Burbank from San Francisco’’ Adam told me before he paused and brought his cup to his mouth and swallowed back some of the dark liquid inside.  
‘’You’re gay…’’ The words fell from my mouth before I could stop them and as a blush covered my cheeks as I quickly realized what I had said and at how stupid it sounded, but Adam still laughed and nodded to me.  
‘’Yeah, I thought that was made clear last night in the club’’ he told me quietly and I felt the blush deepen slightly as I took interest in the thigh of my jeans suddenly as my fingertips picked at the fabric.  
‘’Sorry’’ I mumbled to him as my phone started to vibrate on top of the table, snatching it up quickly I checked the caller id to see that it wasn’t a number I knew, quickly I found myself moving my thumb across to answer and brought it to my ear.  
‘’Yeah, this is him’’ I spoke quickly but calmly as I gripped the edge of the table as I felt my heart skip a few beats as they spoke, my grip getting tighter.  
‘’How did that happen, someone should’ve been watching him’’ I said in to the phone quickly before I worried my lower lip between my teeth and I felt Adam’s hand move over the table and rest over mine, softly pulling it from its death grip on the table top, his fingers soothing over mine where they were red.  
‘’I understand, I will be there as soon as I can’’ I said quickly before pulling the phone away from my ear and locked it again, ‘’I need to get back to the hospital, Hamish has been taken to surgery again’’ I told Adam and he nodded before finishing his drink and stood up before grabbing my hand again and dragged me towards the front door of the coffee shop, the cold air hitting me quickly as we moved towards the car and he unlocked it before letting my hand go, walking around I slipped myself in to the seat quickly as he started it up and pulled out the parking space and started to drive towards the hospital again.

The drive was quiet but I couldn’t help but glance over at Tommy every so often to see him bouncing his leg slightly and chewing on his thumb nail, his face pale slightly and eyes filled with worry as he looked around the street outside the car. Reaching over I laid a gently hand on his knee slightly before his eyes flashed around to look at me as I glanced at him again,  
‘’Chill out a little Tommy, your starting to make me nervous’’ I told him in a light voice, trying to calm him down slightly before I felt his leg stop moving under my touch before I moved my hand away, my fingertips trailing over his thigh slightly before I moved it back on to the wheel again and changed lanes before I turned off on to a side road and drove towards the hospital again.  
‘’Sorry, Im just worried about Hamish’’ He told me and I nodded to him before I turned the car down another road and in to the car park of the hospital before I parked near the doors,  
‘’You go on in, I will bring your stuff up’’ I told him and he nodded before scrambling out the car quickly and ran through the door as I pulled away and found a parking space.

Picking Tommy’s bag up, I groaned slightly at the weight off it before I picked up the other books and pages of his and locked the car up tight before I started to walk back in to the hospital again and headed towards the elevators, pressing the call button I waited for a while before I turned and headed towards the stairs.  Heading up them as quick as I could I reached his floor before I breathed out deeply and headed along it, towards their room before pushing the door open and stepped inside to see it empty, placing his things down on the spare cot I headed out and towards the nurses station.  
‘’Hi, I was wondering if Tommy had come up yet`?’’ I asked her and she looked at me with a raised eyebrow before nodding,  
‘’He’s in the family room, may I ask who you are?’’ She asked and I nodded to her before breathing out deeply, still trying to get my breath back from half running up the stairs.  
‘’Im Adam…Adam Lambert’’ I tell her and she nodded before typing in to the computer quickly, ‘’Im a friend of Tommy’s’’ I added as she glanced back over with a small smile and nodded, but something told me that she thought we were more.  
‘’It’s right around the corner’’ She told me and I smiled before tapping the desk a little before I turned and started to walk towards the room before I knocked on the door gently and slowly pushed it open until it was wide enough to see Tommy pacing the room, wearing a small trail in to the thick carpet.

Heading in I let the door shut softly before I walked over and reached out my fingertips gently catching the edge of his sleeve before I tugged him closer to me and in to my chest softly, feeling no resistance I softly wrapped my arms around his small frame as he shook a little.  
‘’He’s going to be fine Tommy, ‘’ I whispered in to the top of his hair before the door open again and we both looked up to see Sutan walking in which caused Tommy to quickly push his way out my arms and over to Sutan where he wrapped his arms around his waist tightly, Sutan looked up at me and gave a soft smile as an apology and I shrugged slightly before heading over to the seats and sat down in one while I watched the pair.  
‘’Tommy baby, listen to me, it isn’t your fault that he’s down there okay, you weren’t to know he would try climbing over the bars’’ Sutan whispered to him once he had coaxed Tommy over in to the seats across from me and he sat next to him, holding him still.  
‘’I shouldn’t of left him alone like I did, I shouldn’t of fucking left this hospital’’ He muttered out angrily in to Sutan’s chest and I felt a pang of guilt build up in my stomach as he spoke, my eyes lowering to the floor in front of us.  
‘’Mr. Ratliff?’’ A voice sounded from the door and we all turned to look towards it as an older man came walking in to the room with a large white coat on.  
‘’Yeah’’ Tommy spoke as he wiped his eyes slightly from tears I didn’t realize fell before he straightened up slightly before standing and looked towards the doctor, Sutan’s hand still held tightly in his.  
‘’Hamish is back and he is fine, he reopened the stitches on his forehead and hurt his arm a little more but with plenty of rest he will be fine but because of the fall we will be keeping him in for longer again’’ The doctor explained and Tommy nodded as he let a deep breath out again  
‘’Thank you’’ He told him before the doctor turned and left again and Tommy finally let Sutan’s hand go,  ‘’Will you ring Ma for me and tell her that Im not going to be home again tonight’’ He asked Sutan who nodded and smiled at him.  
‘’Sure baby, now go back and be with Hamish, I will be in once I’ve finished on the phone’’ He told Tommy before hugging him quickly.

Watching them I lowered my eyes slightly again before Tommy’s footsteps left the room and it fell silent.  
‘’I feel like shit’’ I muttered out as I looked up towards Sutan who looked confused at me, ‘’I mean, I feel like its my fault for asking Tommy to get a coffee with me before I brought him back here, maybe if I just brought him straight here, his brother wouldn’t of got hurt again’’ I told him as a sigh as I ran my fingers through my hair.  
‘’Oh Adam, don’t blame yourself either, Tommy wouldn’t of gone with you if he didn’t want too, he thought about it and decided to go didn’t he?’’ He told me and I nodded before standing up and stretching slightly,  
‘’I should get going really, I don’t think he would want me hanging around anymore than I have already’’ I told Sutan again who laughed and pointed back to the chair.  
‘’Sit back down, your not going anywhere until Im ready, Im not going to be bored out of my mind here’’ He laughed as he pulled a phone out his pocket and opened it up, ‘’’Im just going to make a phone call and I will be back’’ I nodded to his words and watched as he walked out the room and left me alone, sighing I stood and looked around slightly before I walked over to the fending machine and popped a few coins in and waited as a bottle of water dropped down to the bottom and the machine spat out my change, collecting both, I walked over to the window and let myself stare out at the view as I slowly sipped at my now open bottle.

‘’All done now’’ Sutan’s voice said loudly next to me and I jumped slightly before I turned to look at him with wide eyes which caused him to laugh before patting my shoulder gently.  
‘’I didn’t hear you walk back in the room’’ I admitted to him as I placed my bottle on the window ledge and turned my attention back to the view again as a few birds quickly flew past and disappeared in to the trees near the small hospital garden.  
‘’It’s fine, I was gone for a while, Tommy’s Ma wanted to know everything’’ He laughed and I looked over at him and nodded a little. ‘’Come on, lets go see how our boys are doing’’ He grinned before tugging me towards the door.  
The small walk towards the room was quiet and calm apart from my heart which seemed to race against my chest still, with no signs of slowing down despite how much I wanted it too.  
‘’Maybe I should wait out here for you’’ I told him once we reached his room and he laughed softly before shaking his head.  
‘’don’t be stupid, Tommy wont mind’’ He whispered back to me before pushing the door open and stepped inside the room, leaving me alone in the empty hall. Breathing out deeply I quickly moved inside the room before the door shut fully and glanced up to see Tommy sat in the chair sideways a little with his feet tucked up under him and his arm rested on the chair’s arm as he drummed his fingers against his jaw slightly, eyes set on Hamish who was curled up under the black blanket which Sutan had brought around.  

Don’t fall in love with the elf Adam.

I bit my lip slightly as I stood near the door and Sutan walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, his fingers running through Tommy’s hair lightly before he lent down and kissed the top of it.  
‘’I rang your Ma baby, she told me just to ring any time you need anything and she will give it to me to bring around, Im sure Adam wouldn’t mind being my driver for a while, would you?’’ He started to tell Tommy before he turned to me and I nodded slightly.  
‘’No problem’’ I chocked out slightly before he turned back to Tommy and pulled him in to his body slightly as he lent down.  
‘’Baby, he’s strong like you, he’s going to be fine so stop worrying so much’’ Sutan whispered out to Tommy again,  
‘’But what if he isn’t, what happens if something happens and Im not there to look after him, he needs me Sutan…hell I god damn need him now’’ I heard Tommy whisper back to him and I bit my lip slightly before backing up against the door softly.  
‘’I should go’’ I whispered out before I quickly turned and fled from the room and headed back towards the stairs again before I ran across the grounds and towards my parked car. I was getting too close for my own liking and it scared me half to death.

~  
My bag felt heavy in my hand as I crossed across the grounds of the campus, my mind somewhere completely different as I headed up the stairs and towards the first class of my day, I was grateful for the day consisting of only two classes so I could go home and just chill out in front of the tv.  
‘’Hey Sutan, wait up’’ I called out as I jogged over to where he was stood against the wall talking to someone, his eyes turning away from the person to look at me as I got closer.  
‘’I will talk to you later’’ He told the girl before walking over to me as we walked towards class,  
‘’How’s Tommy doing, I haven’t seen him in any classes?’’ I asked him as his arm came looping through mine and he smiled sadly at me before he nodded towards the end of the hall, turning to look I saw a small frame shuffling past people, hood up covering most of his head and a pair of glasses perched on his nose before he pushed them back up and walked in to the classroom,  
‘’He’s back to classes?’’ I asked hopefully and he shook his head before I frowned and looked through the window as he walked over to the teachers desk before digging through his bag and pulled some paper out before handing it over, the teacher giving him a small smile before touching his arm gently as she said something and he nodded slowly.  
‘’He looks bad’’ I whispered to Sutan as he turned and headed out the classroom again and walked back down the hall towards the stairs.  
‘’Tommy hasn’t slept in a few days’’ Sutan whispered to me to worry in his eyes, ‘’He’s afraid to stay away form Hamish for too long and if he has to move from him, he makes a nurse sit in the room until he gets back’’ I sighed slightly and nodded slightly.  
‘’It will get better’’ I tell him as we slipped in to class and sat down, my thoughts turning back to how Tommy looked and I wanted so bad to make him feel better and for him to sleep.

The day seemed to go slowly before I found myself walking towards my car, the keys in my hand and bag slumped over my left shoulder before it slipped, pushing it back up I shook my head slightly before unlocking the trunk and pushed my bag in before climbing in to the drivers seat,  
‘’Adam’’ I turned and lent out the door as Sutan walked over with a soft smile and held out a small bag to me, ‘’Can you drop this off at the hospital for Tommy, I would but the club needs me at work to go over some acts for tonight and I forgot about it when we saw him this morning’’ He told me and I nodded slightly before taking the bag softly with a smile.  
‘’Sure, I was just going to head home anyway, but it will be good to see him’’ I tell him with a smile as I moved the bag over to the passengers side and glanced back at Sutan.  
‘’If you give him time, he will open up to you’’ He told me and I nodded before starting the car up, saying our goodbyes I was soon on my way towards the hospital.

 ‘’Hi,’’ I said quietly to the nurse at the station once I had gotten to the floor I was meant to be on.  
‘’You’re Adam, right?’’ She asked and I nodded slightly before she smiled, ‘’that’s great, Tommy and Hamish are in the same room, just go right in’’ she told me and I smiled gratefully.

~

‘’Sorry I took so long Lilly’’ I told the nurse as I slipped in to the room and she looked up from the book she was currently reading, my feet leading me over to the cot where I put my bag down before I crossed back over to the bed and sat on the edge and gently pushed Hamish’s hair back a little with a small smile before I lent down and kissed his forehead softly as he slept.  
‘’Its fine Tommy, he’s been an angel, woke up a few times for the toilet but other than that he’s been sleeping which you should do honey, when was the last time you got any sleep?’’ She asked as she stood and let my take the seat again and I sighed as I lent back and kicked my shoes off before pulling my feet up on to the seat.  
‘’A few days I think, I can’t remember’’ I admitted to her as she nodded and touched my shoulder gently.  
‘’You can sleep, he’s going to be fine’’ She told me and I nodded a little, ‘’I’ll go get you some coffee’’ She grinned out before she smiled at me before walking out the room.

Curling up in the chair slightly I rested my arm on the side of the bed with my head in my hand as I took back to watching him sleep, I was scared of letting him out my sight since he tried to climb out of the bed and fell, I couldn’t deal with him getting hurt anymore. As I sat there I started to think back to the summer which everything happened and then over the past few years before I settled with a small smile knowing that I wouldn’t change anything. Slowly my eyes were starting to grow heavy against me but I kept forcing them open before I heard the door softly open and the smell of coffee being brought in as I turned slightly to see Lilly holding a cup out for me.  
‘’Thanks’’ I tell her as I took it and she nodded before leaving again to carry on with the rest of her shift as I brought the cup to my lips and softly sipped from it.  Leaning forward I pushed the half empty hospital cup on to the unit beside the bed before curling back up in the chair again and letting my eyes rest back on the small boy wrapped up in our favorite blanket as another yawn escaped my lips and I felt my eyes starting to get heavy again before I forced them open and shifted slightly.

‘’You know, you should get some sleep’’ Came a soft whisper before I felt arms wrap around me from behind, the voice and scent telling me that it was Adam before I let my body relax and lean back in to his touch as I yawned again, his hands softly stroking over my jacket covered arms.  
‘’What are you doing here?’’ I asked between a yawn and sigh before I felt him move away and walk around slightly, a bag in his hands before he held it out to me.  
‘’Sutan asked me to drop this off for him, he would’ve done it himself but he had something to do at the club’’ he told before I nodded and took the bag.

~

I couldn’t stop myself as I slipped in to his room quietly and watched as Tommy yawned and shifted as if he was trying to keep himself awake, I stepped forward and softly moved my arms around his shoulders and lent down closer to him as I spoke, his reply coming between yawns as I rubbed his arm and then moved around in front of him again, I watched as he took the bag from me and walked over to the cot and sat down before he pulled the bag open and started to take out some books and a few cd’s before I shook my head slightly and pulled my jacket off.  
‘’Come here’’ I told him softly as I laid my jacket over the very end of the bed and held my hand out to him before he looked up confused, ‘’Don’t worry, im not going to make a pass at you, if that’s what your wondering’’ I tell him again as he side and stood slowly before walking over. Smiling at him softly I moved my hands up to the top of his jacket before slowly undoing it until I slipped it off his shoulders and down his pale arms, his eyes watching me as I moved it off his hands and put it with my jacket, sitting down I took his hands gently and pulled him closer to me.  
‘’Adam…What are you doing?’’ He asked as I softly pulled him down on to my lap and wrapped an arm around his legs so he was laid against my body, his head on my shoulder as I wrapped my arms around him softly and lightly started to stroke his side through his thin top.  
‘’Im making you get some sleep whether you like it or not, you need it a lot and Hamish needs you to have all your strength not just some’’ I told him softly as I looked down at him, his eyes darting over towards the small boy before looking up at me.  
‘’Will you watch him for me if I do?’’ He asked and I smiled softly as I laughed a little and nodded, my hand reaching up to run though his hair lightly.  
‘’Sure baby, now just close your eyes and go to sleep’’ I whispered in to his hair as I pulled him closer to my body again and moved my hand back down and started to lightly rub his back again before he shifted and curled up smaller on  my lap, his head resting against my chest.

Glancing over at Hamish I smiled a little and let my head rest back against the chair as I breathed softly.  
‘’Your warm’’ I heard Tommy mutter out and I looked down at him with a soft smile as he buried his face further In to my chest and I wrapped my arm around his waist to keep him close to me, the feeling of him against my body still fulfilling all my dreams and day dreams since the night at the club, no matter what I did, when ever I closed my eyes Tommy was always there.


	4. The young and the hopeless

_‘’Tommy your only 15, what the hell did you think you were playing at_ _?’’ Mama’s voice yelled out at me as I stood in the door way, her hands on her hips and my head down in shame.  
‘’Im sorry Ma’’ I whispered out to her before I slowly lifted my head and looked up at her with tear filled eyes before her face softened and she walked over to me, wrapping me in to a hug as I cried in to her chest.   
‘’You’re just a baby Tommy’’ She whispered in to my hair as her hand stroked my back. ‘’But we will get through this together’’ her voice was gentle and held the famous tone of friendship I had grown up knowing with her before I nodded and breathed out deeply,  
‘’But im scared Ma, what if I mess up and cant cope with anything, what happens if people find out?’’ I cried out to her before she pulled away and wiped her thumbs under my smudged eyes with a gentle smile.   
‘’Thomas Joe Ratliff, you will not mess up anything. And if anyone finds out and say’s anything to you or me about it, we will just tell them the truth and tell them about how proud we are, if people want to make fun of you and call you names or bully you, you don’t worry about it because you are so, so, so much stronger than they are baby, you understand that’’ She told me and I nodded to her with a smile as I wiped my eyes with the back of my sleeve. ‘’Now come on, I have a surprise waiting for you, I was going to keep it until your birthday but I think you can do with some cheering up’’ She told me before taking my hand and led me towards the door which went down to the basement. ‘’Close your eyes baby’’ She told me once we reached the bottom, so I did and I let her guide me across the room._

_I felt her hands slip over my closed eyes and for the first time in a few hours, I let myself laugh before I felt them move away and heard her tell me to open my eyes. Slowly I blinked them open and stared across to the table in front of me, a pitch black case laid out on top with a golden lock on the side near the handle before a small TR was etched in to the front of the case,  
‘’Happy early birthday baby’’ Ma told me before I smiled and turned hugging her tightly before I turned back and walked closer to the case, my fingers softly, lightly running over to it before I grabbed the lock and flipped it open, my hands slowly pushing the lid up to revel a dark but glitter blue bass, biting my lip softly I ran my fingers down the strings with a grin before I picked up gently and held it in my hands.  
‘’One day when you’re all grown and famous, make sure you remember me’’ She whispered in to my ear as her hands lay on my shoulders.   
‘’Ma im always going to remember you, but I doubt I would ever become famous’’ I shrugged to her but turned back to the bass guitar anyway with a grin. The gift felt like liquid gold in my hands and I knew that Ma must of spent a lot of money just to buy it for me but I loved her for it, it was something I had always paid most attention to as I grew up and I found my first acoustic sitting on a kerb near a dumpster when I was ten and I brought it home with me and dad helped me to fix it up before I started to teach myself how to play with help from books I borrowed from friends and the library._

My eyes opened slowly as I yawned and felt my body move a little, a hand sliding up my back before moving around my waist more as I froze a little the night before coming back to mind quickly as I slowly looked up at Adam’s face to see that he was asleep, head rolled slightly to the side and freckled lips parted a little as he breathed out. I remembered how he had come in and wrapped his arms around me from behind and held me slightly before he moved around, I was still surprised that I didn’t put up much of a fight when I let him take my jacket off and then pull me in to his lap so I must of been tired, in a way I was glad that he made me get some sleep, I had been running on empty and I knew that he was right when he told me that Hamish needed me to have all my strength and not just a little bit which could’ve ran out at any point in time.

He was beautiful.

Gasping a little at my own thoughts I moved back against his chest again before I felt his body shift, closing my eyes, I felt his arm move back around my waist again as the other brushed through my hair softly before soft lips pressed against my forehead...he was awake.  
‘’Fuck’’ I heard him mutter out before he carefully moved my legs away from his body as I felt him move around for something before he pulled me closer again and let his hand trail softly and lightly over my side as I heard a few clicks against something which I assumed to be his phone.  
‘’Hey’’ He spoke quietly in to it, his hand never stilling against my side, ‘’No, im fine baby I just wanted to call you so you weren’t worried about me’’ His voice was heavy with sleep and I could feel my heart pick up slightly as I breathed out deeply and moved my head further up on to his shoulder and let my body turn in to his, I could feel him tense under me slightly as his hand moved away before running through my hair lightly once I had stilled again.  
‘’No im at the hospital again with a friend’’ He whispered, I could feel his breath a little against my skin as I felt the soft glaze of his eyes on me. ‘’Im not sure when I’ll be home baby’’ He replied after a soft pause before sighing lightly, ‘’Alright, but don’t annoy him although im sure you will both get on fine’’ His chest moved a little as he laughed quietly, his hand leaving my hair just to trail his finger tips over my neck lightly, a soft shiver running down my spine as I curled my hand against his chest, his own breath pausing before he continued.   
‘’Can you remind mom that im working tomorrow night for me?’’ He asked the other person before he fell silent. ‘’Great, I will see you soon Jane, I love you too baby’’ He whispered in to his phone before the call ended and I felt his body tilt slightly as he pushed his phone away in to his pocket again before both of his arms came wrapping around my body tightly again with a gently sigh, lips pressing against the top of my head before moving again.   
‘’What are you not telling me Tommy’’ I heard him whisper to me before he moved again and I felt his lips brush against my cheek before he swallowed and softly lent down and I felt his lips lightly ghost over mine before quickly moving again, ‘’Shit, I shouldn’t off done that’’ He whispered out with another sigh as I felt his head drop back,  ‘’I always want the pretty boys who aren’t interested in me’’ He muttered out and I felt the edge of my lips curl slightly before I bit my lip to stop myself from grinning .

About twenty minutes past without movement when I opened my eyes and glanced up at him again to see that he had fallen back to sleep and I smiled before looking towards the bed and at Hamish who was facing away from us, his small body buried under a sea of black, just a few blonde hairs was visible from the edge as I grinned. Letting my eyes fall down I followed the line of his strong arms as they wrapped around my waist and legs softly before I noticed a few black lines on the edge of Adam’s wrist and I found myself slowly reaching out and gently turned his arm a little to take in the small tattoo which lined it. The blue standing out against the black before I lightly traced my finger tips over the lines of the eye, I wondered about the reason he might have gotten if for knowing that the eye of Horus stood for protection and a few other things but it looked pretty against his skin, the colors bright but not to bright to look over done.

Sighing softly I let myself relax in to his hold again, the soft sounds of his breathing was nice compared to the usual quietness of the room when Hamish slept and I kept my eyes on him. Letting my eyes open again, I stared across the room and over at Hamish again as I started to think back to my dream I had, the memory of coming home and telling my Ma what I had just found out, I had been so scared that I knew I had to tell her, I never regretted anything which had happened that summer four years ago but I also knew that it was something which changed me as a person, made me grow up quicker and I found myself getting on with my school work, finding a job to look after myself and Ma.

‘’Tommy, you awake?’’ Adam’s sleepy voice filled my ears and I jumped slightly before I pulled my fingers away from his wrist where I had been running them over his skin lightly and scrambled to my feet quickly as my heart raced against my chest, turning to look at him as he rubbed his eyes and stretched slightly before rubbing his neck with a soft groan, his blue eyes found mine before I looked away again and walked over to the cot and to where the bag was, grabbing some clothes and a towel I half ran to the door of the room before heading out, knowing that Hamish was still safe with Adam there, but I just hoped to hell that he didn’t wake up.

 

I watched as he quickly jumped up and grabbed a few things before running out the room with a scared look over his face and I swallowed a little before I sat up with a soft groan, my body aching with the way I was sat in the chair holding him while he slept and with how I fell asleep, clutching him close. The feeling was amazing and he looked so peaceful when he slept like nothing was troubling him.   
‘’Hi, how is everything?’’ I turned slightly to see a nurse peering in around the door and I smiled at her,   
‘’Alright thanks’’ I tell her before I glanced over at the sleeping boy with a small smile before her footsteps came walking in and she walked over to him before pulling the covers back and gently touched his arm, checking it before she put the blanket back over him again.   
‘’If there anything I can get you or Tommy while he showers?’’ She asked and I thought for a moment before nodding gently.   
‘’Yeah, coffee would be great and im sure Tommy would love one too, at least he’s gotten a few hours sleep’’ I told her and she laughed softly,  
‘’You guys have been asleep all night, it’s nearly noon’’ She tells me and I looked at her before I pulled my phone out and looked at the time to see that she was telling the truth,  
‘’Oh,  I didn’t think we had’’ I told her and she laughed softly before nodding and headed back towards the door.  
‘’I’ll get you some coffee’’ she told me before pulling the door open and paused again, ‘’You both make a cute couple’’ She smiled before leaving quickly again before I had chance to tell her that we weren’t together but a small smile still formed over my lips as I sat back In the chair and stretched my legs out in front of me.  She thought we made a cute couple, grinning, I softly ran my hand through my hair before I watched the sleeping boy in the bed for a few more minutes

There was another knock on the door and I stood up before walking over and opening it as the nurse walked in with a coffee in both of her hands,  
‘’Thanks so much’’ I tell her as I took them from her and she nodded, ‘’Do you know how long Tommy is going to be?’’ I asked and she shook her head,  
‘’Im afraid not, but im sure he wont be much longer’’ She tells me and I smiled gratefully before walking over to the table and placed the drinks down as a ruffle caught my attention and I turned towards the bed to see Hamish rubbing his eyes.  
‘’Hey buddy’’ I tell him quietly as I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed and smiled at him as he blinked his eyes open and looked up at me, his eyes were a shade or two lighter than Tommy’s but they were close still. ‘’Tommy is just in the shower so he will be back soon’’ I tell him and he nodded a little before he moved and sat himself up with a soft tug of the blanket, he covered his lap up again.   
‘’What’s your name?’’ He asked and I smiled again,  
‘’Its Adam,’’ I tell him before I saw his eyes move and then widen at my wrist, glancing down I saw that he was looking at my tattoo and I laughed softly before moving my arm up for him to see better. ‘’Do you like tattoo’s?’’ I asked him and he beamed widely and nodded as he touched it gently.   
‘’Sutan has lots, I think they are awesome and very pretty like his eyes, one day when im bigger im going to get lots too’’ I nodded to his words before I moved and sat crossed leggered on the bed with him.    
‘’What about Tommy’s? Do you like his?’’ I asked as I remembered seeing them as he changed in front of me and Sutan at the college.   
‘’I love those the best, Michael is awesome but I like Freddy the most’’ He grinned out to me and I frowned a little before it came to me, the horror characters, laughing softly I shook my head before looking back up at the little boy.   
‘’You know who they are?’’ I asked and he grinned again before nodding with joy.   
‘’Of course! They are serial killers in the movies we watch’’ His little voice was excited and I couldn’t believe that he had only just woken up.   
‘’Tommy let’s you watch horror films, you’re a brave kid, tell you a little secret, Im scared of the horror films which are on tv and dvd’s….how old are you?’’ I asked and he tilted his head slightly before holding his hand out.   
‘’Im four, and the monsters aren’t real, just actors in makeup’’ He said proudly and I smiled before a door opened and I turned to look towards Tommy who walked in before he paused and stared across at us wide eyes.

‘’Leave’’ He said towards me and I frowned slightly before standing up, his body looked small as he gripped his clothes and towel tightly in his hands,  
‘’Tommy’’  I whispered, trying to understand the sudden change in him apart from his quick get away when I had woken up and he jumped from my lap.  
‘’I said leave, go now please, I want you to go’’ He said a little quicker to me and I saw his eyes flash with different emotions before I sighed and grabbed my jacket.   
‘’Bye Adam’’ Hamish’s little voice rang out and I turned to look at him with a smile.   
‘’Bye squirt, you make sure those horror monsters don’t come to get you’’ I winked at him and he laughed before I turned back to Tommy, my smile fading as he looked at me worriedly, for a moment I stood there and let my eyes trail down over his arms where his tattoos stood before I looked back to his face.   
‘’I’ll see you later’’ I told him quietly as I walked closer and paused near him, his head turning slightly before I sighed and walked out the room and headed down the hall towards the elevators, my mind troubled with thoughts.

A day had past since I went to the hospital again to see them but got told that I wasn’t allowed to because Tommy had told them he didn’t want me anywhere near him and Hamish but never gave them any other words apart from to tell me that he wanted me no where near them.

Two days had passed when Sutan had told me that Hamish had been allowed home and that was where they now were, yet I still wasn’t allowed to see them despite all the begging I had given to Sutan to get Tommy to let me.

Three days had passed and I had found myself sitting in the car just down from where Tommy lived, my fingers curled around the steering wheel tightly, knuckles turning white as I watched the house just hoping to see any sign of Tommy.

Five days had passed since Tommy came back looking just as bad as I saw him the last time in class, half way through the day I found myself watching him again as he slowly walked beside Sutan, his skin pale and dark circles under his eyes which were just hidden by a little liner, my breath hitched in my throat slightly as I saw him wobbly before clutching on to Sutan’s arm, in turn he looked at Tommy with concern before he smiled and said something which caused Sutan to nod slightly before they started to walk across the grass and towards the music department when Tommy’s footing suddenly slipped out from under him and he fell to the ground, instantly I found myself on my feet, running over towards them as Sutan crouched and pushed his hair out his eyes softly,  
‘’What’s wrong with him?’’ I asked as I fell to my knees and placed a hand against his pale cheek lightly.   
‘’He’s just fainted that’s all Adam, no go before he wakes up and freaks out because your here’’ He told me and I looked at him before he nodded and I sighed frustrated, taking one last look at Tommy I got to my feet and slowly backed away before I grabbed my things and walked towards my classes.

Eight days had passed and Tommy still wasn’t back to classes and I started to worry about him, my mind running through every little thing which could’ve happened from the worst to the best yet I still found myself watching the hall ways and the college campus any time I walked through aswell as finding myself sitting in the back of the stage hall just watching the stage when ever Sutan or Raja practiced just hoping that Tommy would be there to help.

 

‘’Adam, calm down’’ Came a voice from behind me as I spun to find myself facing Sutan who had his arms crossed over his chest and an eyebrow raised as I sighed and turned back to what I was doing. ‘’Look I know your worried about Tommy, but he is fine okay, he still don’t want to leave Hamish alone’’ Sutan told me and I shrugged slightly,   
‘’Im not bothered.’’ I lied out to him as I scribbled out a few words and placed in new ones before the pen was pulled out my hand and the notebook off my lap.  
‘’You lying Adam, I know you are’’ Sutan said as he sat down across from me on the grass and I shook my head before I lent forward to take my things back before he moved it out my reach, ‘’Look, if you must know Tommy is playing a show tonight at the dark room, its another club I work at and I got Tommy a few gigs there before hand with his old bands but tonight he’s playing for the band which normally covers drop outs, they needed a bass player so I told them that Tommy was free, he wasn’t happy at first but he warmed around to the idea because he needed the money’’ He told me and I raised an eyebrow slightly before he held his hand up to silence me even before I started speaking to him, ‘’Make sure you are there before 8, the band goes on at 8:05 sharp’’ He told me before quickly writing the address down on the page I was writing on before handing it back to me,   
‘’Are you going to be there?’’ I asked and he laughed before placing his hand on my arm,   
‘’Darling, the dark room is like a third home to me. It’s my drinking grounds and drag home’’ He laughed out to me before standing and winked. ‘’I know you care about him, so let him know before it’s too late’’ He told me before walking away again and left me in a cloud of confusion.

 

‘’Tommy, are you ready? Raja is going to be here soon’’ I heard Ma call up the stairs and I tore my eyes away from the black dusty object hidden away in the corner of the room near Hamish’s bed to look towards my open door.  
‘’Yeah, will be down in a bit’’ I called back as I stood and walked over towards my mirror and let my eyes over my image before I sighed and grabbed some dark eye shadow and started to apply it to my eyes before I grabbed the liner and finished the look off with a light gloss.  My mind was still running over the conversation which I had walked in to between Adam and Hamish and it scared me a lot to know that everything I had ever built up could’ve come crashing down on me in seconds.

_‘’You’re the only one who makes the difference, whatever your dream is Tommy, go for it’’ Dad told me with a smile as he gripped my hand and I looked at him with tear filled eyes,  
‘’But my dreams are no longer what I can do, Hamish changed all of that’’ I told him quietly, my eyes falling to stare at the bed sheet of the hospital as I breathed out deeply.   
‘’Tommy boy, you are only 17, your still young and your still hopeless, everything will change when you least expect it, but its only then that you need to remember everything which has gotten you to here so far, take all the experiences you’ve ever learnt and teach them to others, show others how you care’’ He told me and I nodded a little before looking up with a smile,  
‘’I love you dad’’ I whispered to him as I held his hand tighter,  
‘’I love you too Tommy Joe, you’re a good boy and you make everyone proud’’ He told me and I smiled although a tear slipped down my cheek as I stood and hugged him tightly one last time before leaving his hospital room and headed back home to be with Hamish as Ma took my place beside dad for the night._

I pulled myself away from my memories and looked across the room to the dusty case again as I bit down on my lower lip, chewing it softly as I pulled my leather jacket on and slowly found myself walking towards it before I pulled it out the corner and placed it on top of my bed after walking over. Kneeling down on the floor in front of it, I ran my hand over the lid, the dust gathering over my hand before I wiped it off on my bed covers and breathed out deeply as I reached up to the small golden lock which still shone in the light despite the dust.  
I hadn’t opened it since the death of my dad, vowing to myself that I wasn’t going to follow my dreams of playing music for a living before I remembered what he had said, pushing the lid open I let myself laugh softly as I saw the words written across the inside of the lid in a thick black marker, ‘You’re the only one who makes the difference, whatever your dream is, go for it’. I smiled and looked at some of the photos I had forgotten I had before I turned my eyes down and slowly pulled away the thin cloth I had used to protect the guitar.  
Touching the body, I pulled my fingers back slightly at the coldness of it before I reached out and laid my palm flat against the cold wood before I slipped my other hand up along its neck and curled my fingers around it before I gently tugged her out her bed and sat back on my heels as I held her softly in my hands, just feeling the weight of the guitar again before I moved softly and reached back in to the box to pick up the strap and attached it to the guitar before I sat back on my ass and folded my legs under me as I started to let my fingers softly strum over the strings, the dull sound bouncing around the room as I let them move like they were working on their own as I closed my eyes and softly chewed on my lower lip again.

_‘’I can’t do this!’’ I cried out to them as I stood and ran my hands through my hair, ‘’I can’t cope, this isn’t me’’ I whispered out to Ma before I fell in to her open arms and she hugged me tightly, gentle hands soothing over my back.  
‘’It will take time Tommy, but you will get used to it, it will get easier and easier’’ She cooed out to me softly as I heard Sutan moving around behind us, finishing up what I couldn’t.   
‘’I don’t want it to take time, I just want everything to go back to how it was before hand, I could cope, I had my music, I had friends Ma...Now I have nothing, they all left me and forgot about me when I stopped hanging out with them, they stopped hanging out with me once I got a job and started to listen in class’’ I cried out to her again before I felt the tears start to fall from my eyes.   
‘’Baby, listen to me, those people weren’t your friends if they left, Sutan’s been your friend since middle school and he is still here, helping you get through everything.’’ She told me as she wiped my tears again, ‘’He didn’t give up on you until you broke down and brought him home and told him everything’’   
‘’She’s right Tommy, you’re an amazing person, and you make everyone happier, darling im not going anywhere without you’’ Sutan told me as I turned to look at him, ‘’Now come give me a hug you cuddle whore’’ I couldn’t help but let a small laugh out as I walked over and let him pull me in to a bone crushing hug._

‘’Tommy, are you ready?’’ I looked up as I heard a voice and pulled myself away from the memories again as my fingers stilled against the strings and I looked up at Raja who stood tall in my door way due to the heels she was were before her eyes fell on my bass in my lap and a knowing smile itched at the corners of her lips as she walked over and sat on the bed behind the case. ‘’How long has it been since you last played her?’’ She asked and I looked down before I started to think.   
‘’Dad died when we were 17, and we are now 19 so about three years I would say, yeah Hamish was only 18 months when he passed’’ I told her with a slight nod as I sat up and started to put the bass back in to the guitar case again along with the strap before I locked it up and stood.   
‘’Baby, why not take it tonight and play instead of one of the club’s?’’ She asked and I looked over at her before the case again, ‘’I could see that you missed holding that guitar in your hands from the look on your face’’ She teased and I laughed slightly before nodding.   
‘’I think I might just do that’’ I grinned as I grabbed the handle and she stood, grabbing my phone and keys in my other hand, I followed her out my bedroom and down to the kitchen.

‘’Sit, you’re eating something before we leave, I don’t fancy you fainting on me again like you did at college the other wee’’ Raja demanded and I laughed softly before resting the case against the table and sat down in one of the cushioned chairs as she moved around the kitchen looking for something she could make for us dinner.  
An hour later we were both sat at the table, laughing in between taking mouthfuls of pasta and chicken when footsteps walked through the hall and stopped in the kitchen door and I looked up to see Ma staring at the case, resting against the table still.  
‘’Raja thought I might off wanted to play it instead of the clubs, so that’s what im going to do, I’ve missed playing it’’ I told her before she smiled at me brightly and placed her hand over her chest softly.  
‘’Sit down Ma and have some dinner, we still have a bit of time before Tommy and I have to get to the club’’ Raja told her before standing up and walked over to the pan on the stove still, the flame softly keeping it warm before Ma moved and sat down beside me and took the plate once Raja had brought it over.   
‘’How are you, feeling now Tommy?’’ I turned and looked at Ma and shrugged a little,  
‘’A lot better than the other week, I honestly didn’t think that I would ever faint like I did, Im just glad I was with Sutan when it happened’’ I told her before I turned back and ate a few more bits of pasta,  
‘’You did scare me quite a bit darling, it was lucky we were walking across the grass when you went down’’ Raja laughed and I playfully kicked her under the table before she pointed her fork at me, ‘’Do that again and I will stab you’’ I laughed and shook my head before looking back down at my plate.  
‘’Well you know to get more sleep now and actually eat and get plenty to drink’’ Ma told me and I nodded slightly as I picked my juice up and took a sip from it,   
‘’Adam looked quite worried too when you went down’’ Raja mentioned and I looked up at her quickly with wide eyes.   
‘’Oh, who’s Adam?’’ Ma asked and Raja grinned before waggling her eyebrows at me as she turned back to look at Ma,  
‘’Oh, just a boy who has the hot’s for Tommy, but Tommy is too dumb to see that or let anyone get close to him’’ She said and I just stared before I heard Ma laugh softly beside me. ‘’Also he is very handsome, if you remember, he was the one who brought me and Tommy to the hospital when Hamish went in and who brought us back here’’ She told her and I swallowed thickly.  
‘’Oh I remember him now, I agree, he is very handsome and so polite, Tommy you should let him get closer, who knows, maybe you two will get together’’ I chocked slightly on the piece of chicken I was eating before I looked between the two and shook my head slightly.  
‘’Im not getting closer to Adam, I don’t want to date anyone im perfectly fine on my own right now’’ I tried to argue back despite the raised eyebrow Raja was given me.

‘’Tommy, you’re 19. You’re still young at the moment but that’s not going to last forever, how many gay guys have you come across in this city who are open about their sexuality’s pretty much to everyone and who actually are single themselves?’’ Raja asked and I looked back down at my plate as I moved the food around a little. ‘’Now think of girls, how many girls have you looked at since Andie? Have you even gone near one...other than friends?’’ She asked again and I glared up at her before pushing my plate away from me with a clatter.   
‘’Baby, just listen, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad letting someone new in to your life’’ Ma told me with a soft touch to the shoulder and I turned my eyes down to the table.   
‘’Tommy, you’ve been single since the age of 17, you even told me yourself back in the club that you needed to get laid’’ Raja spoke out and I chocked slightly before staring at her.   
‘’Ra... Really that doesn’t need to be brought up right now’’ I cried out to her in embarrassment before I ducked my head down under my bangs a little and sighed. She laughed out before standing and started to pick the dishes up.   
‘’Leave then Raja, we should get going to the club before im late’’ I told her as I stood and kissed Ma’s cheek and grabbed my case as she turned and nodded a little.  
‘’Im totally staying tonight by the way, just in case you didn’t now’’ She laughed out and I shook my head slightly before grabbing her keys and walked towards the front door, pulling it open as I heard footsteps on the stairs I turned to see Hamish walking down them and I smiled before placing the case down and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist, I picked him up and pressed a kiss against his cheek.   
‘’And what do you think your doing awake Mr?’’ I asked him with a grin as he wrapped his little arms around my neck as he grinned brightly,   
‘’I wanted to see you before you went’’ He told me, his voice filled with sleep as I smiled and started to walk back upstairs again and towards our room instead of Ma’s,   
‘’Well as cute as that sounds baby, you should be sleeping.’’ I tell him and he nodded a little before laying his head against my chest as I walked in and over to my bed.   
‘’Tell you what, you can sleep in my bed tonight but you have to make sure to annoy Uncle Sutan when you wake up in the morning because I know he’s going to feel bad because tonight Auntie Raja has come out to play when we go to the club’’ I whispered with a grin as I pulled the covers back and laid him down.   
‘’Okay just as long as I get pancakes for breakfast too’’ Hamish smiled out to me and I laughed before nodding and pulled my covers over him.   
‘’Sure thing baby, now get some sleep’’ I tell him before kissing the top of his head and stood up again. Watching as he turned over and snuggled down in the covers I grinned and turned around before heading down the stairs to see Raja waiting at the door.

‘’Sorry Hamish had woken up’’ I told her before grabbing my case and headed out the door with her closing it behind us quietly.   
‘’Its fine baby, now let’s get you playing again’’ I laughed and nodded as I loaded my guitar in to the back of the car and got in to the passengers side as she started the car up.   
‘’Ambivalence is like a bitch’’ I muttered out as she started to drive towards the main road, before I saw her glance over with a raised eyebrow.   
‘’Tommy baby, please speaking in English so I understand’’ She laughed out and I shook my head with a grin.   
‘’It means that I have conflicting feelings, Im happy about playing tonight and everything but at the same time it makes me sad cause I know that playing is my dream but that wont happen now with Hamish in our lives’’ I told her and she nodded before smiling softly.  
‘’Baby, never give up okay, things can change’’ He told me and I nodded softly before leaning over and started to play with the stations on the radio until music played out through the car’s speakers.

 

‘’Im late, I swear im late but im not its not even 7:30 yet’’ I moaned out to myself as I sat in the car in my drive way and groaned a little before getting out and slammed the door shut again before I headed back inside to call for a taxi instead knowing that I wanted to drink a little tonight and I wasn’t going to risk driving after a few drinks.

By the time I had gotten to the club, the air was colder around and I shivered slightly in the thin shirt I had on before I made my way past the doormen and stepped inside the loud building just before 8, the music was loud as I glanced towards the group who were currently playing, my eyes falling over each person who held a guitar in their hands just to make sure that none of them were Tommy. Walking through groups of people I felt someone bump in to me and I turned to see Raja and I grinned slightly as she smirked and pulled me in to a tight hug.   
‘’Tommy’s out back with the band, getting ready to go on after this song has been finished’’ She called out in to my ear and I nodded slightly before we shuffled our way through everyone and stood at the bar before ordering three beers which caused me to look at her.  
‘’One for Tommy, I will be right back’’ She told me before I nodded and watched her walk off with a beer in either hand as the music died down and people started to change over on the stage and I saw Tommy step up, a bass guitar strapped to his side as he walked over and grabbed some wires before his head turned and he grinned and walked over towards the stage before leaning down and took the beer from Raja before kissing her lightly and headed back over to where he was, slowly sipping the cold liquid as I held my own in my hands, my eyes transfixed on him and every movement he made.

‘’Is it bad that I always find myself falling for the pretty boys who have no interest in me at all?’’ I asked Raja once she was back and she laughed softly before hugging an arm around my waist and I moved one around her shoulders, sides pressed together tightly.  
‘’Baby, he like’s you more than he knows himself’’ She told me and I looked at her before she winked and looked back towards the stage as the band started to play and Tommy stood standing there with his hands running over the bass softly, his eyes following his fingers before he started to pluck at the strings and made the beat sound better,   
‘’Is it me Raja, or does Tommy look kinder nervous?’’ I asked her as I watched as he kept looking around the place as he played before back to the guitar again,   
‘’It’s not just you, there is something wrong’’ She told me before I looked over to see her worried a little, ‘’Im going to try and find out’’ I nodded and watched as she wondered back in to the crowd again and went near the stage.

 

I was thankful the beer once it was in my hand and I had drank a little before placing it on top of the amp before I started to sort out all the cords to plug in to the right places before I waited for the rest of the group to start playing, I didn’t really get on much with them but I was always willing to help out anyone if they needed a bass or guitar player, it got me more money at the end of the day.

Starting in with the first song I started to let myself get lost in the music, my fingers moving over the strings like I had never stopped playing before I felt eyes on me, it wasn’t the normal eyes of being watched by the crowd but felt like someone was staring right at me, breathing out a little I let myself glance around the few rows at the front of the stage to see eyes on me before they moved away to the rest of the band yet the feeling still stayed as I looked back to my strings before up again and caught Raja as she made her way forward and lent against the stage before taking a swig of the drink she was holding.  
‘’Are you okay?’’ She mouthed out to me and I shook my head slightly, the feeling of being watched was starting to mess with my head a little as I too a deep breath and kept playing until there was a small pause in the bass line and I picked my beer up and drank as much as I could before putting it down again and quickly picked the line back up, my eyes darting around until they fell on blue ones and a smile appeared over his lips, I felt my heart skip a little and my fingers stop playing before I felt a nudge and I turned quickly to see the other guitarist next to me with a look on his face before I breathed out and looked back down as I quickly started to play again.

Adam was here…

How the hell did he know I was playing…?

I looked up and met Raja’s eyes and I could still see the concern in them before I quickly flashed my eyes to see Adam still watching me and it made me shiver slightly as I dropped my head back down and let my face hide behind my bangs a little as we started to play through songs before pausing for a five minute break, breathing out I pulled my guitar off and laid it on the stand carefully before I half ran of the stage and out back where I moved towards the small bathroom and locked myself in side before walking over to the sink and lent my hands on the cold porcelain and stared in to the cracked mirror above it at my reflection which seemed to flicker under the bulb.  
I could feel my heart crashing against my chest as I stared at myself, different emotions running through my mind as I pictured Adams smile, then the softness of his arms as he held me against his body as I slept on his lap in the hospital, the way his eyes seemed so kind and caring.

Fuck, he was getting too close to me for my liking.

‘’Tommy, Dude its time to go back on’’ a gruff voice sounded through the door with a knock and I swallowed a little before walking over and pulled the door open.   
‘’Right, sorry just wasn’t feeling too good, felt like I was going to throw up for a moment there’’ I quickly lied to them before we walked back through the hall and on to the stage again, my feet trailing me over to my bass as I pulled the strap back up and over my shoulder.  
Starting a low cord beat off, I kept my eyes on the ground as I turned my body slightly so most of my back was facing towards where knew Adam was stood before I turned back and walked over towards the stage and lent over a little so Raja would be able to hear me,  
‘’Please be backstage in your dressing room after this set’’ I begged her and she nodded before I mouthed a silent thank you and moved back  away again and carried on playing through the last few songs before the singer spoke to the crowd and told them that this was the last song, glancing over to Raja as I finished my beer, I nodded towards the empty bottle before towards the back of the stage and she nodded before turning and disappearing in to the crowd and bright lights slightly as I walked over and pulled my bass off to change over to a normal guitar.

Putting it in to the case, I snapped the lid down before turning the lock quickly but gently before I grabbed a guitar and slipped it over my shoulders before strumming it a little and tuning it for the last song before the drums started to play and I fell in to the tune.  
Tonight I had just wanted to try and forget everything which had been happening the past few weeks but seeing Adam and still feeling his eyes staring at me was starting to make me freak out again, my mind wondering over any ways which I could hide away from him, I knew Raja was right about how I should let someone new in to my life but I was mainly scared that they wouldn’t stay once they found out about everything.  A few minutes later, more on the mark of five the song was over and I was pulling the guitar up over my shoulder and handed it off to someone before I grabbed my case and ran backstage and headed towards Raja’s dressing room and walked inside before placing the case down on the small couch in there and turned my eyes  up to see her stood near the mirrors, walking over I took the beer she offered before drinking back as much as I could as I lent my hip against the table and breathed out deeply as I tried to calm myself down a little.   
‘’You okay baby?’’ She asked and I shook my head and kept my eyes on the ground, ‘’What’s wrong, Tommy talk please’’ She begged me as she took my hand and I felt myself shaking slightly which I wasn’t aware that I was doing, moments later the same feeling of being watched started to make the hair on the back of my neck stand up as I glanced up to see Adam across the room.

Freezing slightly, I pulled my hand out of her hold before backing up a few steps before turning and I bolted out the door and started to move down the hall quickly before I pushed a door open and stepped in to another empty dressing room and started to pace slightly as I downed the rest of the beer in my hands and I threw the empty bottle across the room before I felt hands on my shoulders and I turned to see Raja staring at me scared and I just shook my head before pulling out her hold and started pacing again.

‘’Tommy...’’ she whispered and ran a hand through my hair as my heart speeded up again,   
‘’I can’t do this… I cant carry on like this anymore’’ I cried out to her as I paced and I saw her move slightly out the corner of my eye before crossing her arms knowing that there was no point of trying to get me to sit or calm down.  
‘’Baby, please explain more, your not making any sense right now’’ She told me and I nodded a little as I kept moving.   
‘’He…he’s getting to close to me, to us… I can’t deal with it, I can’t let him ruin everything I’ve built up to try and protect us’’ I told her before I finally stopped pacing and threw myself down in to the makeup chair which was there.   
‘’Who’s getting to close to you…wait are you talking about Adam?’’ She asked and I snapped my head up to look at her before looking towards the door which still stood open.   
‘’Where is he?’’ I asked worriedly as I moved to my feet quickly and pushed the door half way shut.   
‘’He’s still in my room why? What’s going on baby?’’ She asked as I made my way back over to the chair and sat down in it.   
‘’They were talking Raja, Hamish had woken up while he was still in the hospital and they were talking to each other’’ I cried out to him as I felt tears starting to make my vision go blurry a little as I looked towards Raja.   
‘’Darling, there’s nothing wrong with them talking you know’’ She told me calmly and I couldn’t believe it as a single tear slipped over my eyes, no doubt leaving a black trail from the liner I was wearing.  
‘’Everything was wrong with it, they were talking about tattoo’s!’’ I told her as I gripped at the chair’s arms, ‘’Of all things, they were talking about tattoo’s, my tattoo’s, Hamish could’ve said something and everything these past three years would’ve been thrown away and he would’ve known everything I’ve been trying to keep from people’’  I watched as she sighed and walked over and her hands worked over the surface of the table beside us until she found some makeup wipes and pulled the packet open before taking one out and wrapped it around her finger.

‘’Baby, maybe it wouldn’t of mattered if Adam found out, I mean I can see it in that boy’s eyes that he cares about you Tommy’’ She told me as a hand gripped my chin softly, ‘’Close your eyes’’ She murmured out before I closed them and felt the coldness of the wipe as she gently started to clean the make up off my face before I could make myself look any worse.   
‘’I don’t want him caring about me’’ I whispered out to her brokenly slightly before I swallowed and breathed out deeply as she worked quickly and gently before moving away again and I blinked my eyes open.   
’’You’re lying...’’ She started to say before I cut her off again.   
‘’Me and Hamish are better off without anyone in our lives apart from you and Ma, Andie didn’t want anything to do with him once he started to walk’’ I cried out slightly before I let myself slip out from the chair and I walked over to the small mini bar and I pulled out a beer from it before opening it and I took a long sip.   
The room was silent for a while as I closed the fridge door with my foot again, eyes closed as the coldness of the bottle sunk in to my hand.   
‘’Do you like him?’’ She asked and I turned to look at her before away again as I started to lightly pace over the floor again, ‘’Tommy…Do you like Adam?’’ She asked again and I could hear hints of Sutan slipping back in and I breathed out deeply.   
‘’What no…no…. Uhh…Yes’’ I yelled out to her… ‘’I don’t know.’’ I admitted as I stopped and looked over at her, she had a gentle smile on her face as she looked at me.   
‘’Then why not just give it a try baby, what’s the worst that can happen?’’ She asked and I pulled the bottle back to my lips again before I placed it down on the table and threw myself back in to the chair again.

I let the room fall silent as I sat there, my hand touching against my lips slightly as I stared at the floor and breathed out a little before I looked towards the doorway and felt the tears starting to fight their way to my eyes again as I looked back to Raja,  
‘’There’s a lot which could go wrong, Hamish would get too attached and it would break his little heart if Adam left, Adam would freak out if he found out the truth about Hamish’’ I breathed out before lowering my eyes again, ‘’It would break my fucking heart if Adam got in and then he left us’’ I whispered out to her before I felt another tear fall from my eyes. ‘’And I just can’t do that to Hamish, I can’t do that to myself’’ I whispered to her.   
‘’Oh Tommy,’’ She sighed as she came over and her arms wrapped around me tightly, ‘’Im sure Adam would never do any of that, I can see that he wants you, to look after you babe maybe even want to love you’’ I could feel the tears leaving my eyes faster as she spoke and her hand soothed over my back before she moved it up in to my hair and kissed the top of my head.   
‘’I…I just can’t…not to Hamish’’ I sobbed out to her as I held her tightly and buried my head in to her chest,   
‘’Shh baby, it’s going to be alright’’ she whispered against my hair.

 

I was still stood in shock when Tommy had bolted from the room and Raja looked towards me and I nodded at her and she left to go after him before I breathed out deeply and slowly walked towards the door before I paused and glanced out in to the hall to see her turning in to one of the rooms further down.

‘’No Adam, don’t you dare’’ I told myself as I pushed away from the door and looked around a little before seeing Tommy’s case on the couch, biting my lip I shook my head and walked out the room before coming to the room they were in quietly, as I heard Raja’s voice telling Tommy to explain to her and I rested against the wall a little, listening to them talk despite the feeling of everything inside of me screaming at me, telling me to leave and not ears drop on them.

By the time they had finished talking and I could hear the muffled cries of Tommy I couldn’t help but stand there in shock and even more confusion as my heart raced against my chest… did I really love Tommy? I didn’t know myself but I knew that Raja was right with me wanting to look after him, he was so small and after seeing him faint that day I was scared for his health.  I knew that I should’ve started to move and get away from the door before any of them walked out of the room but I wanted to know if they said anything else, I needed to know. Standing a little straighter as another dancer passed me and moved further down the hall I sighed and rested my head back against the brick work.

‘’Let yourself fall for him Tommy’’ I heard Raja’s voice and I turned my head slightly to look towards the slightly opened door with a frown as I heard the sound of Tommy sniffing,  
‘’I cant…I cant let myself fall and then get hurt’’ Tommy whispered out just loud enough for me to catch his words.  
‘’Look baby, I may not know a lot about Adam, but I do know that when Adam loves, he means it, I saw how he was with his sister and if that wasn’t love towards her, I don’t know what it was’’ He paused and I bit my lip slightly before swallowing, ‘’And im sure, if you let him get closer to you and let him love you, you will not get hurt Tommy, Adam’s a good guy’’ I smiled a little and pushed my hands in to my pocket as I smiled at someone as they passed me in the hall way again.  
There was a spell of silence and I sighed as I started to push myself away from the wall and started to turn as Raja’s voice sounded out again.  
‘’Tommy why not, just tell him’’ I looked up and frowned slightly as I didn’t hear Tommy reply to him.   
‘’I just cant, I’ve lied so much that it feels like the truth now and if I tell him the truth about Hamish, it will just feel like im lying to him as well as to myself’’ Tommy threw back, his voice rough from the crying as Raja laughed softly,   
‘’You would feel better if you tell him, it wont feel as bad as keeping it quiet. One more person isn’t going to hurt baby’’ she replied to him.   
‘’And how am I meant to tell him that Raja, it’s not something you would expect of me now would it’’ Tommy’s voice was raised a little again and I bit my lip harder as I listened, I could hear the fear and worry in his voice as he spoke which made me want t walk in and just pull him in to my arms and tell him that it was okay, ‘’I cant just go up to him and go, ‘oh hey Adam, guess what, Hamish isn’t my brother but my son!’’

Tommy’s words froze me on the spot and I stared across the hall at the wall opposite me before I felt my heart crash against my chest again,

Tommy had a son…

Hamish wasn’t his brother like I had thought…

 It all made sense now when I thought about everything, my feet pulling me away from the door and back to the dressing room before I let myself fall in to the seat as I thought about the car ride with Sutan when I took him back to Tommy’s after the hospital that first night when he had held the jeans up and said about how he was so much like Tommy.

I shook my head slightly, trying to clear the thoughts, but Tommy was gay wasn’t he? I asked myself before I breathed out deeply and rubbed my hand over my forehead slightly.

‘’Are you alright Adam, you look like you’ve seen a ghost’’ I jumped at the voice and looked up to see Raja walking In to the room, Tommy following in slowly just moments later, his head down and face hiding behind his hair as he turned and walked towards the couch where the he had put his case before I looked back towards Raja again as she smiled.   
‘’Yeah…yeah im fine’’ I lied to her and she nodded slightly with a raised eyebrow, ‘’I think im gunna head home, not feeling to good’’ I quickly lied again before standing and walked slowly over towards her,  
‘’Thanks for inviting me out tonight Raja’’ I told her as I wrapped my arms around in a hug, there was a slight noise in the background and I glanced out the corner of my eyes to see Tommy looking towards us,  
‘’Any time Adam’’ Raja told me and I smiled before kissing her cheek and looked up at Tommy slightly but saw him looking back down, fiddling with the case in his hands before I smiled at Raja again and forced my feet to start moving towards the door, stepping out in to the hallway, I glanced back again before turning and headed down the hallway and towards the back entrance, my mind still not being able to wrap itself around what I had just heard.


	5. I’d lie to protect myself

_‘’Do you think it’s true?’’_

_‘’He still looks so good, even with the eyeliner’’_

_‘’Is she dating Adam?’’_

_‘’I wish he was mine’’_

_‘’…He’s gorgeous’’_

Whispers filled the hallway as I walked, every so often Adams name was mentioned and I knew that they were all talking about him again as I headed towards my locker, I couldn’t help but notice Adam stood leaning against a wall of lockers, his long legs stretched out in front of him and arms crossed over his chest as he laughed along with whatever was just said in the group of people around him.

Walking past as quickly as I could, I reached up and started to unlock my locker once I had gotten to it, but the time I had a few books of mine in my bag, I could hear Gus’s voice louder and I had knew that they had moved closer to someone else’s locker, probably Adams.  
‘’So is it true Adam?’’ Gus asked with a laugh which I rolled my eyes at, he was always trying to find out other people’s business  
‘’is what true?’’ Adams voice was soft and it held a sort of warmth to it which mainly hid the confusion.   
‘’Did you sleep with that girl?’’ Gus asked again and I couldn’t help but laugh quietly to myself as Adam spoke.   
‘’No, it’s not true’’ He told them and I glanced over to see him already staring at me, in a few seconds Gus had turned around and looked across with a smirk as I quickly turned back again to finish putting my books away.

A few seconds past again before I fell forward from being pushed and laughter ran out as I sighed and straightened myself back out again, my hands pushing the clasps closed on my bag.  
‘’Looks like the nerd has developed a crush on Adam’’ Gus laughed out from behind me as I let my eyes run over everything in my locker to make sure that I had everything I needed. ‘’Got the hots for him, maybe we should help Thomas cool off a little’’ A few people laughed as he spoke again and I started to close the door.  ‘’There you go’’ Gus called out loudly as a gush of cold water fell over me, shivering slightly I pushed the door of my locker fully closed before I turned slightly and looked towards Adam to see him standing there wide eyed before Gus turned towards him, tearing my eyes away, I turned and started to walk down the hall until I reached the bathrooms, walking inside, I glanced around before moving towards the sinks and grabbed some of the paper towels before moving closer to the mirrors.

‘’Just great’’ I muttered out to myself as I started to rub the towels over my clothes before tossing them in to the bin and grabbed some more dry ones.  
‘’Tommy’’ Turning, I looked towards the door to see Adam stood there watching me before I turned back and looked in to the mirror as I tried to dry the longer strands of my hair off. ‘’Look I didn’t mean for any of that to happen’’ Adam tried again, his footsteps echoing in the otherwise silent bathroom. Throwing the now damp towels in the bin again I turned to look at him.   
‘’Sure Adam, no doubt you and Gus had a great laugh about this’’ I called out to him as I waved my hand along my body, pointing out my wet hoody which was clinging tightly to my torso and arms, my jeans still dripping from the water.  
‘’Tommy, It wasn’t like that’’ Adam stepped forward and I laughed slightly as I shook my head,   
‘’Then what was it like Adam?’’ I asked as I picked my bag up again, ‘’Actually no, I don’t want to know’’ I told him before pushing past and headed out in to the hall, ignoring him calling my name as I walked towards the doors which led out in to the court yard.

_‘’Hey nerd, enjoy your bath?’’_

_‘’Remember a towel next time’’_

_‘’Such a loser’’_

Breathing out deeply as I headed across the grounds, cutting across the grass I pushed a hand through my wet hair as I ignored all the comments being thrown towards me. Getting to the drama department, I walked around until I reached the side door and pulled it open and headed down the hall, small drops of water falling of my clothing as I walked, the droplets causing my creepers to squeak across the floor as I headed towards the back rooms, peering in to each one, I looked for Sutan, knowing that he would be here somewhere.   
‘’In here Tommy baby’’ I heard Sutan’s voice call out from an open door as I passed, stepping back, I walked in to the room to see him stood in front of a girl, applying some make up for her performance no doubt as I walked over towards the couch in the corner of the room, letting my bag fall to the floor I practically chucked myself in to the corner of the couch and watched Sutan work before he looked towards me and frowned.   
‘’Give me five minutes darlings will you?’’ He asked the girl, in turn she smiled and kissed his cheek before getting up and walked out at the same time as Sutan turned and walked over to me, his hands reaching out to touch my clothes. ‘’Baby what happened?’’ HE asked with a sigh.   
‘’Gus, that’s what happened’’ I told him as he moved and sat beside me, in about ten minutes, I had told him everything which had happened to me including the brief conversation between me and Adam in the bathroom, shivering slightly, I let Sutan pull me in to a hug before he stood and walked over to the racks of clothing and watched as he started to look through them.   
‘’Right, these should fit you’’ I looked up from where I had been staring at the floor to see him holding out a pair of jeans and a top for me.   
‘’Thanks’’ I whispered out as I kicked my shoes off and then started to change in to the dry clothes. Curling back up on the couch again, I watched as Sutan done the make up for a few different people before I decided to call it quits.

‘’Hey Sutan, I think I’m just going to head home’’ I told him as he put down some shadow and smiled at me softly,   
‘’Well just as long as you stay out of trouble, I will pop around tomorrow’’ He tells me and I nod before grabbing my bag and walked over and in to his open arms, ‘’Promise tranma that you will be good?’’ He asked as I laughed and nodded against his shoulder, letting him go, I pulled my bag further up on my shoulder before heading out and in to the hall again.   
Walking through campus, I ducked though the main building before voices caused me to slow down and then stop near the open door.   
‘’Aww, come on Adam, live a little’’ I sighed as I heard Gus’s voice fill the air,   
‘’I don’t care, I’ve already told you that I don’t like jokes like that’’ Adam spoke out, a few other people spoke and girls laughter filled the space before Gus started talking again.   
‘’You should come with us tonight, have a few drinks and just relax a little’’  
‘’Fine, only a couple’’ Gus laughed out as a phone rang,   
‘’Sorry, I’ve got to take this’’ I leant against the wall as footsteps came closer to the door.   
‘’Hello Jane’’ Adams voice was closer now and I could see his shadow dancing on the wall just by the doors, ‘’No, I’m going out tonight with some friends’’ Adam sighed before stepping in front of the doors, ‘’Yes I love you too Jane and I promise to take you out soon’’ Watching him, something inside my mind was telling me to turn and walk away, but I couldn’t, slowly I watched as he turned around and stared at me and mouthed the words stay, backing away slightly, I swallowed as more footsteps sounded out and I turned.  
‘’Hey nerds trying to get another look in are you?’’ Gus called out to me as I started walking down the hall and towards the other doors to take the long way to the carpark.   
‘’Hey Tommy, I’m talking to you’’ Gus yelled out and I paused before looking around at him and flipped him off before I walked back out in to the sun shine again. Fifteen minutes later, I found myself walking towards my car, keys read in my hand and the ache of home strong.

‘’Oi you, don’t think you can get away with what you done just now’’ I heard someone yell from behind me, I knew that it was Gus without even looking as I kept walking, getting to my car, I unlocked the trunk before dropping my bag inside and closed it again as a hand gripped the top of my arm and spun me around,  
‘’Your such a freak’’ Gus hissed out to me before his right fist collided with my jaw and he let me go as I fell to my knees, keys skating across the gravel a little before he stepped back with a small smirk over his lips.  
‘’Tommy dear, what happened?’’ Turning, I looked over to see ma walking towards us before my eyes widened slightly as I saw Hamish skipping up behind her.   
‘’Nothing Ma, just fell’’ I told her as I rubbed my arm slightly from where he had grabbed it and tried to ignore the throb in my jaw.   
‘’Yeah, saw him take a tumble m’am, was just seeing if he was okay’’ Gus spoke out and I looked up at him as he smiled and held his hand out to me. Taking it wearily, I let him pull me back up to my feet again, before grabbing my keys and handed them to me.  
Walking over to my ma, I smiled at her before returning her hug.   
‘’What are you doing here?’’ I asked as I stepped away and picked Hamish up as he came running over to me, ‘’and what do you think your doing here Mr.?’’ I asked him with a grin as he buried his face in to my neck.   
‘’Work called me in for a shift and the school rang, saying that Hamish wasn’t very well, I knew that you and Sutan both have classes but I had no one else to ask’’ Ma told me as I nodded softly before taking the car seat off her as she kissed my cheek.  
‘’I was heading home anyway’’ I tell her softly, trying to take no notice of Gus watching us.   
‘’Well I have to go’’ Ma said before kissing Hamish’s cheek and then mine again before walking away. Walking back to the car again, I sat Hamish on the top.   
‘’You don’t move mister’’ I tell him with a grin as I opened the back door and lent inside as I started to strap the car seat in.

‘’Adam’’ I heard Hamish call out before I moved quickly and banged my head on the frame, looking up, I could see Adam walking towards us as I rubbed the back of my head.  
‘’How did he know your name? Gus asked Adam as I picked Hamish up again and started to strap him in to his seat before closing the door.  
‘’I saw them in the park a few weeks ago’’ Adam shrugged as his eyes flicked over to me as he spoke and I swallowed a small lump down in my throat.   
‘’Probably that’s where the crush started’’ Gus laughed as I turned to face him.   
‘’Can you, not make any jokes in front of Hamish, for once will you just listen to me’’ I asked him as I looked away and at the car to see Hamish looking out of it.  
‘’And why should I?’’ He asked as I laughed slightly,  
‘’Because he is four years old Gus, he don’t need to hear any of your stupid jokes’’ I called out to him before I turned and opened the driver’s door and got inside, starting the car up, I glanced out the mirror to see Adam and Gus talking to each other.  
‘’Daddy’’, turning around, I looked towards him with a smile.   
‘’Yeah baby?’’  
‘’Can we get ice cream on the way home?’’ He asked with a smile and I laughed.   
‘’You weren’t ill at all were you?’’ I asked and he shook his head a little, ‘’Alright then, I’m sure a little bit of ice cream wouldn’t hurt’’ I tell him as I started to pull my seat belt on.   
‘’Yay, I love you daddy’’ Hamish called out and I smiled before turning to look at him again,   
‘’I love you too squirt’’ I tell him before I looked out the window towards the other two as Gus was laughing about something and looking towards the car every so often before I turned back around and started to pull out of the space, just missing Gus by a few inches as I turned the car towards the exit and started to head home with Hamish.

A few hours had gone by before I found myself sat at a table with Gus and a few others from college, my legs cramped under the table as I looked around the club as people danced to the music which was playing before I looked towards the bar, my eyes settling on a guy leaning against it, long legs dressed in a pair of black jeans, almost hugging them like a second skin before it moved up to a tight white shirt, stretched over muscled arms, his blonde hair shined in the artificial light.  
‘’Which girl’s got your attention then Adam?’’ Gus laughter and words pulled me away from the guy as I turned and looked back at him before to the bar again where I saw two girls sat talking to each other, near the blonde guy.  
‘’The blonde one’’ I lied to him as her red haired friend turned and looked towards us and smiled before turning back to her friend and said something before they both giggled and looked back over. Turning back, I finished my drink off as my eyes flicked over to the dance floor and towards the stage and back again as I put my glass down,  
‘’I’m going for another drink’’ I tell Gus as I start to stand up from the small booth we were sat at.  
‘’don’t forget to talk to them stud’’ Gus called out and I faked a smile before I turned and walked around the edge of the dance floor and through a group of people until I reached the bar and slotted in to the only empty space next to the blonde guy who had caught my attention beforehand.  
‘’What can I get you?’’ The bar tender asked once he reached me after a few minutes waiting.   
‘’Your strongest and make it a double’’ I told him before I glanced back over my shoulder and towards the table to see Gus grinning towards me and then nodding towards the two girls before I turned back around again, the bartender setting my drink down. Pulling my wallet out, I started to take a few bucks out before the tender smiled and shook his head before he walked away again, a small frown on my lips.   
‘’Hope you don’t mind me buying you a drink’’ The blond guy spoke out to me and I glanced towards him with a small smirk,   
‘’Thanks’’ I tell him with a small nod before I grinned again, ‘’who says I swing that way?’’ I asked him as I kept my eyes on the bar and raised my glass to my lips as I slowly sipped at the strong drink.   
‘’For one, no straight guy would wear those boots and your just to attractive to be straight’’ He told me and I chuckled softly as I glanced back at the table again to see Gus talking to someone, ‘’Ah, your friends don’t know’’ He said and I nodded slightly as I turned back and glanced at him again to see him doing the same before turning away.   
‘’No they don’t, not really the ones you would come out too’’ I told him quietly as I leant against the bar slightly with a sigh.   
‘’I’m Warren by the way’’ He tells me and I smiled softly before looking towards the girls.   
‘’Adam’’ I answered back to him to him with another sip of my drink as I smiled at one of the girls as she looked towards me and turned back again to stare at the bar.  
‘’Goes well with your pretty face’’ Warren spoke out and I laughed softly as I stole another glance to him, a smile on his own lips as he played around with his drink which looked like a glass of coke. ‘’Come dance with me’’ He told me and I stole another glance towards him again before looking away.   
‘’I don’t know’’ I told him quietly despite everything inside of me screaming just to dance with him and ignore Gus.   
‘’Come meet me in the middle of the dance floor, whenever you want I will be watching’’ He grinned, ‘’It’s packed so none of your friends will see us’’ He tells me and I think about it for a few seconds before I nodded gently and looked towards the two girls again.  
‘’You have a deal, but I must get a number or something from those girls before I go back to my friends’’ I muttered out to him, not really wanting to try and flirt with girls just to get a few digits on paper.   
‘’Good luck gorgeous’’ Warren told me and I grinned slightly as I picked my glass up and walked down the bar slightly until I reached the blonde and red headed girl.

Two numbers and five minutes later, I found myself walking back towards our table again before slipping in to the booth, my half empty glass still in my hand as I pushed the numbers towards Gus who raised an eyebrow towards me,  
‘’Not really my type after all’’ I tell him with a small smirk as he grinned and took the numbers and pushed them in to his pocket as I looked around the club again, I let my eyes settle on the band which was currently play still, rolling over each member slowly I paused on a guy stood near the back of the stage, head lowered and turned slightly away buy but here, I still knew who it was playing up there.

Tommy.

‘’I’m going to dance’’ I mumbled out as I remember what Warren had said and I downed the rest of my drink before I started to stand up again.   
‘’I’ll come with you’’ One of the girls told me, much to the annoyance of both me and the guy who was trying to talk to her, taking her hand, she smiled at me softly before we started to walk towards the dance floor, glancing towards the bar again I pulled her through everyone until we reached the middle of the dance floor and I moved so her back was facing the stage so that I could still see Tommy.   
‘’I know that your gay’’ The girl said as I looked towards her to see a soft smile on her lips.   
‘’I don’t know what your on about’’ I tell her with a shrug.   
‘’Adam, I saw you checking out that guy at the bar and not the blonde girl’’ Susie spoke out, or was her name Sophie, I couldn’t remember, ‘’I also saw the two of you talking together aswell was the other week, I saw you in the club with that Tommy kid’’ My eyes flickered up towards the stage before back to her again.   
‘’Gus really can’t find out’’ I whispered out to her as we danced to the music and she laughed softly,   
‘’don’t worry, you’re safe with me and your cute cloned is making his way over’’ She grinned.

Sure enough, a few seconds later, strong hands appeared on my hips and I turned slightly to see Warren stood behind me,  
‘’Hi there again’’ He called out to me over the music as I smiled to him and watched as his eyes moved to the girl in front of me.  
‘’Hey, I’m Susie and I’m your bead for tonight’’ She called out to him as he laughed and stepped closer to me.  
Dancing together, I let one hand stay on Susie’s side and let my other move behind and on to Warren’s thigh slightly, our bodies moving in time with the music and each others, every so often I would let my eyes flick up towards the stage where I would watch Tommy playing before away again to catch Susie’s eyes and a smirk from her. Leaning back in to Warren slightly, I felt his hand slide around on my waist and his fingers brush under my shirt a little to touch skin, the light touch sending shivers through my body as I smirked at him a little.

After a couple of minutes, I felt Susie move her hands to Warrens and move them off before grabbing my other hand and pulled it around her waist quickly,   
‘’Gus is coming and he doesn’t look happy’’ She called out to us and I felt Warren step away from me slightly before I turned as Gus broke his way through everyone dancing and made his way over to us before he moved to go for Warren.   
‘’Whoa, Gus calm down’’ I yelled out to him as I quickly stepped between the two so that Warren wouldn’t get pushed again.   
‘’No, I’m not going to have a queer here trying to dance with you Adam’’ He yelled back and tried going for him again,   
‘’Its only dancing, I really don’t care who tries to dance with me Gus, I’m pretty open minded when it comes to it’’ I called out, my hands flat against Gus’s arms as I tried to push him back slightly. ‘’Anyway I was dancing with Susie, just leave it okay, now let’s go get you a drink again’’ I yelled out before turning him around and shot an sorry look towards Warren who just smiled and winked at me before I turned and started to catch up with Gus again as we walked back towards the table.

 

Looking up, most of my vision was blurred from the bright lights shining on to the stage, but I could just make out the middle of the dance floor where it looked like someone was trying to keep someone away from someone else and I sighed before I went back to playing.  
By the time the last song came to an end, I pulled my guitar up over my head and placed it on to the stand as the club music started to play out over the speakers and I made my way off the stage and towards the bar.   
‘’So you are here then’’ I laughed out once I saw my cousin sat knocking the last of his drink back,   
‘’Tommy boy’’ Warren grinned before dragging me closer to the bar and motioned for the bar tender.   
‘’You sure that your going to be able to drive still tonight?’’ I asked him with a smirk before he smiled and nodded.   
‘’Another coke and whatever Tommy here wants’’ Warren told the barmen before he turned and looked at me,   
‘’I’ll have the strongest thing you have and make it a double’’ I told him as he nodded and smirked towards Warren,   
‘’Does all the guys you flirt with drink the same thing’’ He laughed out and I raised my eyebrow slightly.   
‘’Nah, Tommy’s my cousin’’ Warren laughed to him as I shook my head and sat down on the stool.

‘’Oh don’t look at me like that Tommy, you know that I will talk to any hot guy I meet’’ Warren grinned out before he paid for our drinks. Taking a sip from mind, I screwed my nose up slightly before tugging on the sleeve of Warren’s shirt and nodded towards the stage,   
‘’Come help me’’ I told him as he nodded and we both stood up and walked over again. Setting my drink down, I climbed up before picking it up again and took a mouthful as I walked towards my guitar on the stand still, balancing my glass on one of the speakers, I crouched down and pulled the guitar case closer to me as I started to pack away some of the wires.  
‘’How is the little man?’’ Warren asked as he stood next to me, ‘’Heard that he had a trip to the hospital a few weeks back’’  
‘’Hamish is fine’’ I told him with a slight nod as I glanced up at him and smiled, ‘’And yeah, had to have a couple of stitches but he is a tough kid’’ I grinned out as I picked my drink up and took a sip form it before placing it down again before I pointed to some leads just out of my reach, ‘’Hand me those will you?’’ I asked h8im before he nodded and pulled them over to me, ‘’Thanks’’ I told him as I started to wind them up slightly and placed them inside the case before I picked my guitar up and carefully laid it down. ‘’Actually Hamish is looking forward to seeing you again, it’s been quite a while – ‘’ I looked up and trailed off slightly once I noticed that Warren had wondered off to the side of the stage where he was crouched talking to someone who was hidden behind the large speakers.  
Shaking my head, I turned back and started to snap the clasps shut on my case before I locked it and stood up with it in my hands as I finished my drink off and set it back down on the speaker before I turned to see Warren handing over what looked like a piece of folded paper, no doubt it held his number.  
Laughing softly to myself, I started to walk over to him, ‘’Come on Warren, I wanna get goi-‘’ Reaching him, I trailed off again as I saw who he was talking too.   
‘’Ah Tommy, this is Adam, the hot guy I said about’’ Warren told me and I found myself laughing again.   
‘’I know who he is Warren, out of all the guys in the club, you have to go find him’’ I called out, shaking my head slightly, I turned and started to walk away before I paused and turned back to an confused Warren and a guilty looking Adam. ‘’Forget about the ride home, give one to Adam, I’m sure that you would get your fun tonight’’ I told Warren before jumping off the stage and started to push my way through everyone as I headed out of the club and started to walk down the street away from the people and music.

Slowly footsteps started to echo on the pavement behind me until a hand grabbed my shoulder and turned me around to look at an out of breath Warren.   
‘’What was that all about Tommy?’’ He asked and I shook my head slightly before looking at the ground.   
‘’It’s nothing’’ I lied to him with a shrug.   
‘’Oh for Christ sake Tommy, don’t even try to lie to me’’ Warren growled out slightly and I looked at him before pushing my guitar case in to hands.   
‘’Stay out of my business will you and just drop it’’ I tell him before stepping back from him, ‘’Just…Just take my guitar home and leave me alone for a while,’’ I yelled at him before I turned on my heel and started to walk away from him.   
‘’When will you be home’’ He yelled out after me and I paused to look back at him,  
‘’When I feel like it so don’t bother trying to look for me’’ I called back before turning again and crossed on to the other side of the street as I headed towards downtown slightly and towards an old school friends apartment.

 

Weeks passed by without any interaction with Tommy, when I found myself sat in the darkness of the seats facing the stage, the single light at the back of the room not bright enough for me to be seen as my eyes watched the brightly lit stage where Tommy was sat, his guitar balanced under his arm as he leant forward to write something else on the paper which was scattered around him, it had been the same way for about half an hour, just the two of us in silence as he played a few notes and wrote while I silently watched and listened to him, part of me wanting to make him know that I was here with him.

‘’You like him a lot don’t you?’’ A voice whispered in to my ear as I jumped and turned slightly to just make out Sutan in the darkness as I sighed softly and turned back to watch him, ‘’I think you both need to talk things out together’’ Sutan told me quietly again.  
‘’But he won’t even look at me after what happened’’ I whispered out to him,   
‘’Give him time, Tommy is like a flower, squeeze him to tight and he will break, just try to take things slowly’’  
‘’Gus doesn’t know that im gay, I don’t want my old life to happen again Sutan, I can’t deal with that again’’ I whispered to him and Sutan laughed softly.   
‘’Who’s there’’ Our eyes moved back as Tommy called out and tried to look through the darkness for us,  
‘’It’s just me babe’’ Sutan called back as he squeezed my shoulder gently, ‘’Go home Adam, give him time’’ He whispered as I nodded and grabbed my bag before he started to walk towards the stage and Tommy who had seemed to relax a little again, taking one last look at Tommy, I turned and walked out of the open doors and headed towards my car.

 

‘’What are you doing here?’’ I asked Sutan once his footsteps faded away from the stairs and the light fell over him,  
‘’I was looking for you actually, wanted to know if you wanted me to drop you home?’’ He asked as I looked down at the paper in front of me,   
‘’I’ll walk tonight, could do with the time along for a bit’’ I told him as he walked over and sat near me,   
‘’Writing a new song?’’ Sutan asked as he eyed the paper around me,  
‘’Yeah, I guess so’’ I shrugged out as my fingers went back to plucking at the strings of the guitar, the sound coming out low and dark as my eyes followed the cords which I had already written down.  We sat in silence for a bit as I played, pausing every so often to write something new down, looking up at Sutan, I found him staring off in to the darkness of the seats before I glanced up to see nothing, turning back, I looked back down again as I started to play again.  
‘’Why are you avoiding Adam?’’ Sutan asked carefully, finally breaking the silence other than my guitar,   
‘’Im not’’ him, my eyes never leaving my fingers as he sighed.   
‘’Tommy, what’s wrong with him? ‘’ He asked as I glanced up at him and then away again,   
‘’Nothing’’ I told him simply before Sutan’s hand rested over mine to stop me from playing.   
‘’Then get to know him’’ He told me as I looked up at him,   
‘’What for?’’ I asked, ‘’ Just for Warren to come along and take him away again like he did’’ I laughed, ‘’that’s my cousin for you’’ I shrugged out,  
‘’Tommy, nothing happened between them baby’’ Sutan told me as he moved his hand away from mine and I put the guitar down, ‘’They only dance together’’ I looked up at him as he smiled softly, ‘’Adam had left the moment you took off and Warren went after you’’ He said quietly as I looked down again, letting my fingers move over my shoes I sighed lightly,  
‘’I can’t hurt Hamish’’ I whispered out to him.  
‘’Tommy, you have to think about yourself for once’’ Sutan scolded, ‘’Now tell me the real reason, why are you avoiding him?’’ Staring at Sutan, I shook my head slightly and stood up before I started to pace a little, my hand running through my turned to look back at him and walked back over to sit down again.  
‘’Im…im not avoiding him’’ I sighed out and he glared at me, ‘’Fine I am avoiding him okay cause of Gus’’ I told him and he raised his eyebrow slightly and shook his head.   
‘’Your lying’’ Sutan told me and I looked down slightly, knowing that I couldn’t lie to him any more despite telling myself that I would lie to protect myself.  
‘’I know I shouldn’t of looked but I was in student records and part of me wanted to know more about him, but I wasn’t thinking ‘’ I told him as I looked at him, ‘’He was born on January 29th, he has two younger siblings, he likes musicals and anything else to do with theater’’ I spoke out to Sutan as I looked down at my fingers.  Sutan let it go quiet for a while as we looked at each other until I looked down again, embarrassed a little by what I had told him, ‘’When I come in early sometimes, I find him in here singing and I just sit in the back watching him…Listening to his voice, but I always leave before there’s the chance of him even seeing me’’ I admitted to him as he nodded and smiled softly.   
‘’Then just talk to him Tommy’’ Sutan tried to coax me but I shook my head slightly,   
‘’I can’t Sutan, I just…really can’t’’ I told him as our eyes met again.   
‘’Why can’t you baby, there’s got to be a reason why you can’t talk to him or go near him and it’s not anything to do with Gus’’ Sutan asked and I looked away from him before closing my eyes slightly, ‘’Tommy, what’s wrong?’’ He asked before I breathed out deeply and looked at him.   
‘’I think I might just be in love with him’’ I told him with a sigh, defeated.

My eyes danced over the paper which covered the floor of the stage in front of me as Sutan sat there quietly,  nothing had been said since I admitted my true feelings and I was having an inner war with myself for being stupid and falling for someone who wasn’t even out to people in the college.  
‘’You need to tell him’’ Sutan finally said and I looked up at him, a serious look on his face as I shook my head, ‘’Tommy you need to tell him how you feel, about Hamish, about everything before its too late’’ Sutan said again and I frowned slightly,  
‘’What do you mean before it too late,’’ I asked him, my palms sweating as I rubbed them against the thighs of my jeans,  
‘’I mean before he finds someone else, Tommy we are 19 college isn’t going to last forever, I know Adam’s got dreams and he’s the type of person to follow them. He’s not going to stay in Burbank forever’’ He spoke out gently as I breathed out deeply.

Another week past and I still stayed away from Adam, another week of trying to lie to myself that I wasn’t in love with him, that I didn’t feel warm inside when he smiled, something which Adam hadn’t done a lot of in a while and I wondered if it was because of me. Standing in the doorway of my bedroom, I let my eyes watch as Hamish slept in my bed, a small smile on my lips as I thought about all the memories I had, all the best ones including him in my life, the first time he took small steps, the first time he had said daddy, smiling softly, I pulled the door shut slightly as I headed back downstairs and in to the living room where the tv was still playing his Scooby doo dvd. Grinning, I turned it off before I Walked over and lowered myself in to the chair as the house phone started ringing, Sutan’s name flashing across the caller Id.  
‘’Hey Sut’’ I spoke in to it as I answered and sat back again,  
‘’Hey Tommy look I know I said that I was going to come over and keep you company while your mam done the night shift but work’s booked me in for a double shift tonight and there’s no one else to cover’’ Sutan’s voice came through the other end with the sound of the club behind him and I sighed softly,  
‘’But you promised’’  
‘’I know baby, but im sorry’’  
‘’What time do you finish?’’ I asked him as I chewed on my lower lip a little.   
‘’Not until about 5am’’ He replied.   
‘’Okay, I’ll see you soon I guess’’ I spoke in to the phone as the doorbell rang and I cursed slightly.   
‘’Everything okay Tommy?’’ Sutan asked as I laughed lightly,  
‘’Yeah, doorbell went off, talk later’’ I told him as I hanged up and put the phone back on its stand as I walked towards the door and pulled it open.

There he stood, in black jeans and worn out sneakers, a leather jacket covering a plaid shirt and dark hair hanging just over his bright blue eyes as he turned to look at me, a small smile on his lips and the same warm feeling spreading through my stomach as I gripped the handle of the door a little tighter.  
‘’Hi’’ He said quietly and I turned slightly to look up the stairs before back again as I stepped outside and pulled the door shut slightly behind me as I crossed my arms over my chest.   
‘’What are you doing here Adam?’’ I asked him as I tried to keep my heart from crashing against my chest, why did he have to always look so good for?  
I watched as he looked down slightly and shuffled his feet, a sigh on his lips as he looked back up at me again, his eyes soft. ‘’I just wanted to see if you wanted to come out for a drink or something and just talk?’’ He asked gently, ‘’So that I can explain.’’  
‘’I can’t Adam’’ I tell him, ‘’I have Hamish upstairs and my Ma is working tonight, I can’t just leave him’’ I say as he nodded slightly and looked back down, I thought about what Sutan had said to me and it made my stomach turn as I watched Adam,  
‘’Alright, maybe I should’ve checked before  I turned up’’ Adam’s voice was soft and I felt kinder guilty for turning him down, looking back towards the door, I breathed out softly and slowly pushed it open and dropped my hand back down to my side again.   
‘’I might not be able to go out, but I guess you could come in’’ I told him lightly as I looked at his face as his eyes met mine which caused my stomach to churn with nerves as he smiled lightly.  
‘’Thank you’’ He whispered and I nodded slightly before stepping inside, his footsteps slowly following in behind me as if he was being careful. ‘’May I use your bathroom quickly?’’ He asked and I glanced at him from over my shoulder before I motioned for him to follow me as I started up the stairs and stopped on the landing.   
‘’Second door over there’’ I whispered, pointing before I turned and started to walk towards my bedroom, placing a hand lightly against the wood, I pushed it open and peered inside to see that Hamish was still sleeping, a small smile on my lips as I rested my head against the door frame just watching him again before the toilet chain flushed, breathing out slightly, I glanced down the hall before I stepped inside my room and walked silently over to my bed where he was hugging in to his teddy. Softly I pulled my covers away from him before sliding my arms under him and started to lift him up when I heard movement near the door and I turned to look towards it to see Adam stood there watching me,   
‘’Can you pull his covers back for me?’’ I whispered out to him as I nodded towards his bed on the other side of the room,  
‘’Sure’’ He whispered out before quickly crossing the room to where his bed sat and pulled the covers back as I adjusted my arms around Hamish and started to walk over, pausing next to Adam, I slowly laid him back down again before picking his teddy back up off the floor where it had fallen and tucked it next to his body as I turned to take the covers back off Adam, his eyes watching Hamish as I swallowed a little and he turned to look at me, lowering my eyes I pulled the covers from his hands, ignoring the warmth which spread through my fingertips as they brushed his hands and tucked them around him again before leaning down and kissed the top of his head lightly.

Walking towards the door, I glanced back to see Adam watching Hamish again before he turned and smiled at me as he started to walk over, a small smile of my own forming over my lips as I walked out and headed towards the stairs again with him behind me.  
‘’You both look so much like each other’’ Adam told me from behind as I walked in to the kitchen, breathing out slightly I nodded and walked over and leant against one of the sides as I turned back to look at him.  
‘’Look, I know what happened between you and Warren, Sutan told me earlier’’ I tell him quietly as he looked down and nodded slightly,   
‘’I honestly didn’t know that he was part of your family Tommy, if I had known that, I wouldn’t of danced with him’’ Adam appoglised to me and I smiled softly.   
‘’Its fine Adam, really’’ I breathed out to him softly as I moved my hands up on to the sides of the counter, either side of my body as I looked down slightly and chewed on my lower lip. ‘’I should be the one saying sorry for the things I said to you both that night’’ I finally told him as I looked up at him again.   
‘’Tommy, you have every right to say those things, you were angry at the both of us’’ Adam shrugged out to me as he took a small step closer and I nodded slightly, my eyes returning to the floor again as I sighed.  
‘’I didn’t mean any of it…What I said about you’’ I admitted to him with a small shy smile curling the corner of my mouth up a little, I felt the back of a hand touch lightly against my cheek and I looked up to see that Adam had moved closer to me again and I sighed a little at his touch.   
‘’I know’’ He whispered as I let my eyes move over his slightly as he stared at me. ‘’And I just want you to know that every time Gus does something to you, I really don’t like it and I didn’t laugh with him when he dumped that water over you’’ He whispered and I lowered my eyes a little as I remembered the conversation between us in the bathrooms. ‘’I came looking for you because I wanted to make sure that you were alright, to say sorry because it was my fault that he done it’’ He sighed, his hand stroking down my cheek slightly before it turned and he pressed it lightly against my jaw to turn my head up so I was looking at him again, ‘’Because if I wasn’t looking at you, he wouldn’t of turned and caught you looking back’’ He whispered as his thumb softly traced my bottom lip.   
I had no idea what to say back to him as we stared in to each other’s eyes, his words causing my heart to speed up against my chest again and the ball of nerves and butterflies in my stomach to grow more and more, he blamed himself for what Gus had done.  
‘’Why are you saying this?’’ I whispered out to him as my fingertips clutched at the counter tops slightly,  
‘’Because its true Tommy, I was the reason he turned around, because I wasn’t paying attention’’ He whispered stepping closer until there was hardly any space left between us, ‘’I stopped paying attention the moment I saw you walked past me’’ Adam whispered as he leant closer, his breath ghosting over my cheek softly, my own breath being held as I let my eyes slide closed slightly just relaxing in to his touch and the closeness of his body to mine.

‘’I want to be here, with you Tommy’’ Adam whispered to me, ‘’I want you to be able to trust me with anything’’ Each of his words bring his breath ghosting over my skin until I felt it warm against my lips, tears threaten to fall from my closed eyes. Slowly I opened my eyes as a tear fell and I quickly reached up to brush it away as I took a deep breath and looked up at him slowly, his eyes showing nothing but truth in as he looked back at me, thumb still softly stroking over my jaw.  
‘’I have too many secrets’’ I told him and he laughed softly,   
‘’We all have them Tommy, you can tell them in your own time or keep them, im not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do’’ Adam told me, nodding softly, I moved my arms down and wrapped them around his waist tightly as I cuddled in to him, my eyes closed as he laid his cheek against the top of my head.

‘’Im thirsty’’ My eyes shot open and I looked towards the door to see Hamish stood there, rubbing his eyes tiredly as I smiled a little and let Adam go before I walked over and picked him up in my arms,  
‘’One small drink and then back to bed, its late’’ I told him as he laid his head on my shoulder and I walked over towards the fridge, setting Hamish down on the counter top, I opened the fridge and grabbed some of the juice before walking over to the cupboard to get a small glass for him. Pouring it out, I put the juice back in to the fridge again and closed the door before I stood in front of Hamish and handed it to him.   
‘’Two hands baby’’ I tell him softly as he nodded and moved his other hand up to hold the glass, my own hand moving up to his hair and brushing it out his eyes with a soft sigh.’’ Finished?’’ I asked as he pulled the glass away and handed it to me, walking over to the sink, I turned the tap on and filled the glass with water,   
‘’Adam!’’ I heard Hamish call out and I smiled a little before I glanced over my shoulder at the same time which Adam walked over and picked him up, before I turned back again and turned the tap off.  ‘’I want Adam to take me back to bed’’ Hamish said to me as I dried my hands off and walked towards the pair,  
‘’Come on, Adam don’t want to spend time looking after you’’ I told him as I held my arms out to him, his own wrapping tighter around Adam’s neck,  
‘’I don’t mind doing it Tommy’’ Adam tells me with a smile before I sighed and kissed Hamish’s forehead,  
‘’Night buster, and in your own bed this time’’ I smiled at him.  
‘’I won’t be long’’ Adam told me with a soft smile and I nodded slightly as he walked out of the kitchen with Hamish who had started to talk about different bugs, shaking my head slightly I turned around and started to tidy up a little before I walked up the stairs and paused outside the open down slightly as I listened to the two talking, a smile on my lips.   
‘’Do you like…Milkshakes?’’ Hamish’s voice asked out before Adam laughed,   
‘’Yes I do, now in to bed buddy, don’t want Tommy catching you up still’’ Adam whispered out to him as I rested against the doorframe and looked towards them as Hamish crawled in to bed.   
‘’Can you sing to me?’’ Hamish asked and I raised my eyebrow slightly, ‘’Sutan sings to me sometimes when he takes me to bed’’ He yawned out to Adam and I smiled a little as they both went silent and Adam tucked him in again as he started to softly sing to him and I stepped in to the room a little, listening to him more as I leant against the wall silently.   
‘’Adam’’ Hamish whispered out quietly, half asleep,   
‘’Yeah kiddo?’’ Adam whispered back as he brushed Hamish’s hair off his forehead as he turned to face him Adam.   
‘’Do you like my daddy?’’ Hamish asked and I felt my heart crash against my chest as my stomach tightened and I breathed out deeply which caused Adam to look up and over to where I was stood before he turned back to look at Hamish.  
‘’I like him a lot’’ He whispered to him as I turned and quickly fled down the stairs in a panic, running my hand through my hair as I walked in to the living room and started to pace slightly my eyes on the floor as I turned and felt strong hands grab me before they pulled me in to a toned chest and I breathed Adam’s scent in deeply,  ‘’Shh, calm down Tommy’’ Adam whispered in to my hair as I let my arms move around his waist, holding on in fear of him leaving.

In a matter of seconds my most treasured secret had become known to the one person I wanted to stick around in my life…I really did want Adam in my life. Breathing out deeply I felt Adam rub my back softly as I buried my face in to his clothing more, just trying to get his scent memorized in my mind in case he took off and left me all alone.  
‘’I guess by now that you know that Hamish isn’t my brother’’ I whispered out to him, ‘’But my son’’ I spoke out quietly as Adam moved a little and kissed the top of my head softly,  
‘’Yeah, I should’ve realized that because of how much he looks like you’’ Adam laughed softly as he moved a little and looked down at me with what I was guessing, a arm moving away from me before his hand rested under my chin and he tilted my head up so he could look in to my eyes. ‘’But knowing you have a kid doesn’t change the way I feel about you Tommy’’ Adam whispered as I felt tears come to my eyes again and I pulled my face out his hand and buried it back in to his chest again. 


	6. Slotting together like a jigsaw puzzle on an never ending track line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in two parts.

Warmth is what greeted me when I first started to wake up, along with a stiff neck and dead arm, but the soft breathing warming the skin just above my collar made me forget about everything else as I breathed out softly and turned in to Tommy a little more, my arms wrapping around him tighter as his head shifted on my shoulder and slipped down on to my chest, his leg pushing its way further between mine as we laid on the couch together. After the night before and the moment he admitted about Hamish we had laid down together in silence before I felt Tommy fall asleep and I laid there watching him until sleep took me over with it. The house was silent as I let my nose bury in to the softness of his hair, slightly tickling as I shifted again and moved us further down the couch until we were lying fully flat.  
I knew that Tommy was scared; he had voiced it through his sleep, his hands tightening around my clothing before soothing out as I rubbed my hands over his back softly, trying to calm him until he settled down again. Moving slightly again, I let a small yawn out before I turned and pressed my back up against the back of the couch, arms holding Tommy close to me as I watched him sleep, his face peaceful and calm, smiling softly, I brought a hand up and softly guided it through his hair and rested it on the back of his neck as he shifted slightly and laid out on his back before turning his head away from me again. Smiling softly to myself again, I settled back down and softly laid my head on his shoulder before I let myself fall back to sleep again.

 

‘’Daddy…Daddy…Daddy’’ A soft voice came from beside my ear as I felt something tugging at my sleeve and I stirred slightly before turning my head slightly, my eyes opening slowly as I blinked open to stare at Hamish, his wide brown eyes filling mine as he beamed and I smiled back softly.  
‘’What’s up buddy?’’ I asked with a yawn as I rubbed at my eyes slightly, warmth surrounding me and making me want to just turn and snuggle back in to it,   
‘’I want to watch Scooby’’ He whispered to me and I nodded a little before glancing towards the clock to see that it was still early, sighing I knew that there was no point in trying to get Hamish back to bed and to sleep again, so instead I slowly turned to look at Adam with a soft smile before I started to slowly untangle myself from his hold, careful not to wake him as I got up and stumbled over towards the tv slightly before I crouched down and put his dvd back on, turning it on low, I turned back to see Hamish standing next to the couch again, just staring at Adam before he looked up and smiled at me. Laying back down again, I laughed softly to myself as Hamish scrambled up on top of me and laid with his own chest against mine as I wrapped an arm around him loosely so he wouldn’t fall off as we both turned to watch the tv for a while, every so often I changed between looking at the tv to just stare at Hamish as he laid there, my fingers softly playing with his blonde hair before I smiled and turned back to the tv again before Hamish shifted slightly nd I looked back down to see that he had fallen to sleep again. Smiling softly I yawned a little and watched him again for a little while, just taken in all his features with a smile before turning back and laid their quietly, both Adam and Hamish asleep next to me, keeping me warm enough without a blanket in the early morning chill.

‘’Scooby Doo, really Tommy’’ A tired voice came out from beside me and I turned to look at Adam before I held my finger to my lips and nodded down to my chest where Hamish was, his eyes following until he saw Hamish and he smiled fondly, the sleep still showing on his face before he slowly looked up at me, wonder and fondness was in his eyes and I smiled softly as his hand came up to brush across my cheek lightly, a small blush forming as I turned in to his touch a little and a soft laugh escaped his lips. ‘’Im sorry if I woke you’’ I whispered to him and Adam smiled before shaking his head,   
‘’you didn’t, I woke up about five minutes ago, just didn’t want to move’’ He admitted to me and I smiled softly at him as we just stared at each other for a while. ‘’You’re so beautiful Tommy’’ Adam whispered to me and I felt my cheeks burn up with a bright blush as I tore my eyes away from him and looked down at Hamish who was now curled up on my body, his little hands under his head, Adam’s own hand playing with a strand of my hair before I looked back up at him.   
‘’I don’t feel like it’’ I whispered back to him and I could see the change in his eyes, the want for me to see the truth in his words.   
‘’You are baby, the moment I first saw you staring at me in the hall way, I knew that I wanted to make you mine’’ He whispered to me, a blush forming over my cheeks again as he smiled, ‘’When they pushed you in to those lockers, I just wanted to wrap you up in my arms and protect you, I know that you are strong but I could see that those words effected you back then’’ Adam whispered to me and I swallowed a little as he spoke,  
‘’You were kinder a jerk to be honest’’ I whispered and he laughed softly before nodding,  
‘’I know I was, I could’ve gone about it all a different way but in all honesty, I was scared too because I saw how they treated you and  didn’t want that’’ He whispered to me and I looked up at him slowly to see the emotions in his eyes, ‘’that’s why we moved the first time because of the bulling, the second was the bulling to my sister because of her being mentally ill and this move was because of the bulling again, I was scared for my life so I got my parents to move us but my younger brother stared with our grandparents, I changed the way I looked and dressed and came with my head held high not wanting to go though that anymore but I never expected to find someone like you the very first day I turned up’’ Adam’s fingers stroked over my cheek with each word he said and I found myself starting to fall deeper each time and I nodded slightly. ‘’I’ve never meant to hurt you’’ He whispered and I breathed out slightly before swallowing and nodding.   
‘’I know’’ I whispered to him as I looked back up and gave him a soft smile which he returned and started to lean closer before his phone started to ring and he jumped, trying to get it out his pocket before Hamish was woken up, watching as he carefully climbed over us as he answered and walked in to the hall way, I couldn’t help but smile softly and run a hand through Hamish’s hair before a warm feeling spread across my stomach and I groaned slightly, carefully sitting up and picked him up, I pulled him away slightly from my body to see that he had an accident and I rolled my eyes before laying him softly on the couch again, walking out in to the hall way, I started to pull my shirt up over my head as I headed up the stairs, I heard Adam stumble over his words slightly and I blushed as I realized that he must of seen me, biting my lip softly I walked across the hall and in to my room where I quickly changed in to a pair of sweats and a old band top before I grabbed some clean clothes for Hamish and a towel  before heading back downstairs and in to the living room.

‘’Baby, come on wake up’’ I whispered as I carded my fingers through his hair and stroked his cheek until Hamish slowly opened his eyes with a soft cry of being disturbed and I smiled softly. ‘’Let’s get you changed and in to dry clothes’’ I told him as I helped him sit up and pulled his top off before doing the same with his bottoms, rubbing the towel over him softly to dry him off, I helped him in to his clothes again before he laid back on the couch and I picked his wet ones up and walked past Adam and in to the kitchen where I placed them in to the wash.   
‘’Hey’’ A soft voice whispered in to my ear as I stood back up and arms folded themselves around my waist, a slight shiver running down my spine as I relaxed back in to Adam’s body.  
‘’Hi’’ I whispered back with a small yawn which I quickly covered with my hand as he chuckled softly and I felt his nose rub lightly over the side of my neck in a soft gesture.  
‘’What happened?’’ Adam asked and I looked down at the clothes in the wash before I sighed softly before I gasped a little as Adam’s hands slipped under my top and on to my stomach.  
‘’Hamish had an accident’’ I told him in a slight breath as he pressed a light kiss to my neck and I let my eyes close softly as feather like kisses was kept being pressed to my skin before I yawned again and I felt him smile.  
‘’Come on, let’s get you some more rest’’ Adam told me softly before turning me around and pressed a gently kiss to my cheek and took my hand in his before leading me back in to the living room again, watching as he let go and pick Hamish up I smiled softly before he nodded to the couch and I climbed on and laid back against the back again, watching as he laid down with Hamish against him, I bit my lip slightly as he turned and move closer so that Hamish was between us but we were still close enough to touch.  Feeling Hamish stir slightly,  looked down at him as he turned and cuddled in to Adam more and I couldn’t help but smile at it before I felt Adam’s hand move up over my side causing me to look back up at him as he smiled.  
‘’You don’t have to do this Adam’’ I whispered to him and he shook his head slightly with a smile before he carefully shifted closer again and tangled his legs with mine as he hooked his arm over my waist lightly,  
‘’I want to look after my boys, it’s the most I can do at the moment’’ He whispered to me as I stared at him, for a moment I felt my heart dive head first further in to love with him as he smiled and rubbed my waist softly, ‘’Go back to sleep Tommy, Im still going to be here when you wake up, I promise’’ He told me and I nodded slightly knowing that I was able to trust him.


	7. Slotting together like a jigsaw puzzle on an never ending track line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2

‘’Shh, Tommy’s asleep on the couch by the sounds of it’’ the voices were quiet as I felt movement between me and Tommy and I slightly opened my eyes to see Hamish climbing over me, sliding closer to Tommy again, I moved my arms around him tightly as he turned and buried his face in to my neck slightly, warm breath against my skin as I closed my eyes.  
‘’Uncle Sutan’’ I heard Hamish’s voice call out in the hall slightly as a soft laugh escaped and I lightly let my fingers stroke along Tommy’s back from where they were under his shirt. There was a muffle of voices before soft footsteps came towards the door as I felt myself starting to fall asleep again.

A while seemed to have past as I felt movement between us again and I stirred a little and brought my eyes open as I rubbed them to see Hamish trying to climb back between us, smiling softly, I moved my arms away from Tommy before lifting him up with a soft smile and held him between us as he wiggled slightly and I looked down at with a soft smile,  ‘’Stay still kiddo or your going to wake Daddy up’’ I whispered to him and he looked at me before towards Tommy before he smiled and turned to curl in to my chest which caused me to smile and move my arm back across to Tommy again, my eyes moving between the two boys before I smiled happily to myself and closed my eyes, sleep once again taking over my body.

 

‘’Daddy…wake up’’ A soft voice whispered close to me before there was a soft tug on my shirt and I breathed out slightly,  
‘’Go back to sleep Hamish’’ I muttered out as I brought a hand up and laid it against his chest slightly to get him from wiggling around too much,  
‘’But daddy.. Uncle Sutan and grandma Dia’s making breakfast’’ He told me and I sighed before moving my hand again,  
‘’Go bug them then’ I muttered out to him before I slowly opened my eyes and watched as he quickly climbed over Adam and ran out the room, sighing, I moved closer to Adam until my body was half laying over his and snuggled back closer to him again as his arms tightened around me again and I smiled against his top as my eyes closed. ‘’Never have kids’’ I muttered out as I started to fall asleep again and I felt Adam’s chest lightly move as he laughed almost silently and kissed the top of my head.

‘’Mhmm’’ I muttered out as I felt soft lips press over my forehead before slowly trailing down my nose until they lightly brushed my lips and I smiled softly, my arm curling around Adam more as I slowly blinked my eyes open and looked up in to his ocean blue eyes.  
‘’Morning gorgeous’’ He whispered to me, his hand trailing through my hair as I grinned slightly, my cheeks heating up with what I knew was a blush as I hid against his chest.  
‘’don’t want to move’’ I mumbled against his chest as his hands rubbed my back and he laughed softly,  
‘’As much as I would love to stay here, I need to use the bathroom’’ Adam whispered in to my ear softly before I groaned slightly and playfully shoved my hands against his chest, making him tumble slightly before I grabbed the front of his top to stop him from falling off the couch. Kissing him back lightly as his lips came across mine, I smiled and let him go before I watched him leave the room and I turned on to my back slightly and stretched before I sat up and rubbed my eyes as I slowly stood and walked in to the kitchen where the soft chatter stopped and I looked up to see everyone apart from Hamish looking at me with a smile.

‘’Morning baby’’ Sutan called out and I smiled slightly as I yawned and walked over to Hamish, kissing the top of his head softly, I moved towards the kettle which had gone off and made myself a quick cup of coffee before walking back as Sutan stood up and opened his arms to me, smiling, I walked over and in to them before wrapping a arm around his waist softly.  
‘’Morning’s suck, they shouldn’t ever exist’’ I mumbled out as he let me go and I walked back and took a sip of my coffee as he sat back down again.  
‘’You never did like the morning did you Tommy’’ Mam said to me and I laughed slightly before I saw Sutan hold his cell out to me and I frowned slightly.  
‘’You boys looked so god damn adorable, I couldn’t resist’’ He told me and I laughed slightly before taking the cell out his hand and looked down at the photo, smiling at it, I shook my head slightly before I quickly sent it to my own cell and then deleted it off his and handed it back with a slight smirk, ‘’Hey, now that wasn’t fair’’ He told me and I shrugged slightly before jumping as I felt arms wrap around my waist and a pair of lips press against my temple. Turning slightly I looked up at Adam before smiling and leant back in to his embrace before I turned back around slightly and took another mouthful from my drink before looking up to see my Mam and Sutan staring and  blushed slightly and hid behind my cup as I drank.  
‘’Morning Adam, I see that Tommy ended up with company last night then’’ I heard Sutan say to Adam and I grinned slightly before turning to hide in his chest as his arms wrapped around me more.  
‘’Yeah, but nothing happened, I swear that’s the honest truth Mrs. Ratliff’’ I heard Adam tell my Mam before her soft laugh filled the air.  
‘’Adam, darling, I wouldn’t care if anything did. Just seeing my Tommy smiling like that is enough’’ She told him ‘’So don’t be going and leaving my boy’s life any time soon’’  
‘’Oh don’t worry about that M’am, I have no intention of leaving’’ Adam told her back and I blushed harder before letting a soft groan out in embarrassment as the others laughed and Adam softly brushed his nose and then lips over my neck and I looked up with a smile sat him.  
‘’Do you want anything for breakfast?’’ I asked him softly and he smiled before shaking his head.  
‘’I can’t baby, I have to go back home and make sure that my sister is okay and that she’s sorted for the day before lessons later’’ He tells me and I nod slightly before sighing and leaning in to him more as his arms tightened around my waist again.

‘’So Adam, what brought you around yesterday?’’ Sutan asked and I choked on my coffee slightly before I flashed a warning look towards him,  
‘’That’s none of your business Sutan’’ I told him before Adam had chance to reply and I felt him laugh softly behind me before the feeling of Adam’s thumbs rubbing soft circles on my hips brought me back against his chest.  
‘’Actually, I came around to apologize to Tommy for the way I had been acting lately’’ Adam spoke out softly and I sighed a little before leaving his arms to put my cup in the sink and walked over to Hamish to clear his empty breakfast dishes away before kissing the top of his head as he jumped down from the table. Turning around again I saw that Adam was holding Hamish in his arms and I couldn’t help but smile slightly and walked over to the both of them and stuck my tongue out before Hamish laughed and stuck his own back out to me, laughing myself, I shook my head slightly before walking around them and headed up the stairs where I quickly changed in to a pair of worn and faded jeans which had a few rips in the knees. Walking over to my dresser, I leant down slightly as I pulled the bottom drawer out and started to look through for a shirt before I felt myself get picked up and I let a small yelp out before I was dropped on my bed and Adam was leaning over me, grinning slightly, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down against me as his hands slipped up my legs and on to my sides softly.  
‘’Adam, im trying to change here’’ I laughed out as he grinned,  
‘’I know, I wanted to help you’’ He chuckled out and I rolled my eyes slightly before pushing him away from me and I stood up again and grabbed a pair of creepers from under my bed and pulled them on, looking up I frowned slightly as I watched Adam looking through my drawers and then pull something out and turned around to face me.  
‘’Im not wearing that to college’’ I told him as I stood up and folded my arms over my bare chest slightly,  
‘’But baby, it will be something for me to check you out in all day’’ Adam grinned out to me as he walked closer and pecked my lips gently and pushed the top in to my hands before I sighed and shook my head with a grin.  
‘’Fine but only this once’’ I told him with a raised eyebrow before he winked and walked towards my bedroom door and out of it again, laughing to myself, I shrugged it on before I finished getting myself ready and walked downstairs again.

‘’Mhmff’’ I breathed out slightly as I felt Hamish run in to me and I looked down at him as he looked up at me with a wide smile, ‘’what are you running about so fast for buddy?’’ I asked him as he laughed and reached up to brush his hair out his eyes,  
‘’Adam and Uncle Sutan said that they will take me out for Ice cream Saturday if im a good boy and I was coming to find you’’ He told me quickly and I raised my eyebrow slightly and glanced down towards the kitchen before back down at Hamish again, ‘’So can I go Daddy?’’ He asked and I could see the happiness in his eyes and I laughed slightly before nodding to him.  
‘’Only if you’re good’’ I tell him and he beamed before running off in to the living room and I shook my head slightly as I walked back to the kitchen and glanced between Sutan and Adam who were both sat at the table with innocent looks on their faces. ‘’Oh give up the innocence, Hamish just told me’’ I tell them and I laughed slightly before shaking my head and leant against the doorframe watching them both before Adam stood and smiled lightly at me.  
‘’I should get going before Jane’s late’’ He spoke out and I sighed a little and nodded.  
‘’Well it was nice seeing you again Adam and Im glad you two have finally sorted things out and got together’’ Sutan told him and I blushed slightly before walking away and down towards the door before Adam appeared and wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him.  
‘’I wish you didn’t have to go’’ I whispered to him as he softly kissed the end of my nose and smiled,  
‘’I know baby but I have too, I’ll see you in class later’’ He whispered back to me as he leant his forehead against mine and smiled lightly at me, wrapping my arms around his neck softly, I carefully stepped back and pulled him with me until I was leant against the wall and I pulled him down for a kiss. Feeling him press me back slightly, I let a hand slide up in to his hair as his hands worked under my top slightly and on to my sides as the light touch of his tongue against my lower lip got me to part them before a clicking sound pulled us apart and we both looked up to see Sutan stood in the doorway of the kitchen with his phone in his hand and I glared slightly at him.  
‘’Delete it now or I will kill you’’ I growled out to him before he winked and wondered back down and in to the living room where Mam and Hamish was.  
‘’Go easy on the guy Tommy’’ Adam chuckled softly and I looked up at him before sighing and gave him a soft smile.  
‘’Fine, but only for you’’ I whispered before lightly kissing him again and then pulled away with a soft smile,  
‘’I’ll see you soon baby’’ Adam whispered to me and I nodded slightly and smiled as he kissed the top of my head and opened the front door, ‘’Bye’’  
‘’Bye Adam’’ I told him back before I watched him pause before leaning in and kissing my cheek again and then quickly jog down the steps and towards a car which was parked out in the street,  watching as he unlocked it and got in, I rested my head against the door and smiled a little before waving and watched him drive off.


	8. When life starts to come crashing down, love is always there to fix it.

‘’ _queer’’_

_‘’Cock-sucker’’_

_‘’Faggot, go to hell you scum’’_

The same names were there as I walked through the hall, the strap of my bag against my chest was held tightly in my hands as I made my way through the name calling and the shoves just to get to my locker where there was bright pink sprayed all over it and I swallowed slightly before quickly putting my combination in and twisted it, the door opening slowly as it cracked through the thin layer of dried paint, this was a first, normally it was just the names and being shoved in to lockers, no one had ever attacked my locker and it worried me slightly.

Pushing my books in slightly, I let a small smile turn the corner of my lips up as I thought about the morning a couple of days ago with Adam, everything had felt so right…so magical and I was starting to wonder if I was living in a fairy tale without knowing it.  
Feeling myself being shoved in to my locker again, I turned and looked over my shoulder to see some of the jocks walk past and I breathed out deeply, trying to keep myself calm before I turned and slammed the door to my locker shut, locking it quickly before I pulled my bag back over my shoulders and started my way down the hall again and out on to the college campus. My feet crossing over the grass before I heard Gus’s voice call out loudly and I paused before shaking his comment off and started walking towards the music department in search for Sutan who I quickly found pacing back and forth across the stage, hands clasped on his hip and over his mouth.

‘’Hey’’ I called out to him before he spun around in shock and looked up towards me, his eyes wide as  walked closer and dumped my bag down in the front row seats.  
‘’Im sorry Tommy, im so, so sorry’’ He whispered out to me and I stared at him confused.   
‘’Sutan, what’s wrong, your starting to scare me now’’ I told him honestly as I quickly climbed up the stage stairs and come to a stop in front of him, his eyes glistened with unshed tears and I swallowed slightly.  
‘’My phone…’’He whispered out and I was confused still, ‘’my phone is missing, someone has stolen my phone’’ He told me again and I nodded slightly,   
‘’But why are you saying sorry to me for?’’ I asked and he turned slightly as he started to pace again.   
‘’I never deleted the photo, I forgot to’’ He told me as he paced and I frowned trying to remember he was on about but then it clicked, the photo of me and Adam kissing in the hallway.   
‘’Fuck’’ I breathed out slightly before taking a few steps back until my legs brushed against the stool which was sat on stage and I sat down. ‘’That explains everything, the names…my locker’’ I whispered out and Sutan turned to look at me with wide eyes.   
‘’Tommy, I really didn’t mean for anyone to see it’’ Sutan told me and I nodded slightly as I looked over at him, getting up I walked over quickly before wrapping my arms around him in a hug.   
‘’Its okay’’ I whispered to him as I let my eyes close and hoped to hell that Adam was doing a hella of a lot better than I was and felt like. ‘’It wasn’t your fault that your phone was stolen Sutan, relax about it please’’ I told him.

‘’ _Fucking queer’’_

‘’Always knew you were’’ Someone else called out to me as I walked through the main hall again and I breathed out deeply before getting to my locker again and pulled it open, my eyes snapping up as I noticed that there was something in there which wasn’t before, swallowing a little I reached up and took the small bag of the shelf before slowly opening it with shaking fingers, gasping slightly, I pushed it back and just stared before I slammed my locker shut and started to move down the hall again towards the bathrooms.  
Walking over to the sinks, I dropped my bag down and pressed the taps down before I gripped the side of the basin, my eyes watching as the water flowed down the drain as I breathed out, the water calming me slightly before I raised my head up and looked in to the mirrors where my eyes met Gus’s smirking face.

‘’What do you want Gus?’’ I asked him as I tore my eyes away from the mirror and back down to the sink again where I pressed the tap on and pushed my sleeves of my hoody up before running my wrists under the cold water, trying to calm myself quicker before footsteps moved around and I felt myself get shoved away from the sinks and in to the wall, my shoulder catching the corner of the hand towel unit.   
‘’Who’s your little queer boyfriend in the photo Tommy’’ Gus asked and I looked at him confused slightly to what he meant…didn’t he know it was Adam. ‘’Im talking to you Tommy, so you better answer’’ He called out to me as he walked closer, his hands curling in to fists. ‘’Who is your fucking queer little boyfriend in the photo’’ He asked again and I stared up at him.   
‘’Im not going to tell you’’ I spat back as I stood up slightly and rubbed at my shoulder, trying to get the ache out of it before I saw Gus move forward, his fist quickly colliding with my stomach before I felt my knees buckle as I fell to the ground, gasping for breaths as he laughed and started to walk away. All to soon, the bathroom became silent again as I curled up a little, my arm holding my stomach as I let my eyes close and I took deep breath’s, I was glad that it was only Gus and that it only turned out to be one punch, but it still hurt a lot and I was worried more about him finding out about Adam.

Staggering to my feet again, I breathed out before picking my bag up and hooked it over my shoulder as I started to walk out the bathrooms, I knew that lessons had already started and I was kinder thankful for having a tutoring session and not a whole lesson.  
‘’Hey Tommy, you’re late for once’’ The guy called out and I looked up with a smile,   
‘’Yeah sorry about that, had a phone call which I couldn’t get out off’’ I lied to him and he nodded before pulling out the rest of his books, following his lead, I sat down beside him, winching at the pain in my side before I grabbed everything which I needed out my bag and started to teach him the parts which he needed to know for his exam.  
‘’I still don’t understand this part’’ He told me again and I let a small sigh out,   
‘’It’s easy, just take those numbers, times them together before you keep dividing them until you get the number of times it takes to divide it by’’ I explained to him as I sat back quickly and let a small breath out, my hand moving up to my side.   
‘’Are you okay, looking sort of pale, more than normal’’ He told me and I shook my head slightly.   
‘’I think im going to end it here for today, not feeling too good’’ I lied to him. Gathering my things up, I pushed them back in to my bag and started to walk out the room, the halls silent for a while as I headed towards my locker, breathing out softly, I rested my head against the cool metal as I slowly turned the dial on my lock until it clicked and I spun it back the other way again, standing back, I pulled the door open and jumped back as something fell out. Looking down at the teddy I swallowed a little before laughter rang out from behind me and I turned to see a few of the jocks stood near one of the empty classrooms which was across from the lockers.  
‘’Awe come on Tommy, don’t leave your present on the floor now, that’s not very nice’’ Gus called out as I stared at him.   
‘’Well I don’t want it, so you can have it back’’ I told him as I kicked it across the hall towards him as I turned back and pushed my books in.

‘’Ungrateful little whore’’ I let a small groan out as I felt someone push me in to the lockers, my cheek grazing across the metal as their voice growled out in my ear, my eyes shutting as I tried to breath out, the punch I got from Gus this morning, still hurting my stomach.   
‘’Leave me alone’’ I got out to them as I tried to shove them off me just for their grip to tighten.   
‘’Why should we Tommy, we aren’t the ones with photos of us kissing another guy are we’’ Gus’s voice came out from behind me slightly and I breathed out, mentally cursing at Sutan for ever taken the photo in the first place.  ‘’Maybe if that little cross dressing fag friend of yours didn’t leave his phone on the seats before he got up, we might not of seen it’’ He laughed out and I swallowed deeply as I tried to back off the lockers, trying to get more air in to my lungs.  
‘’You had no right stealing his phone’’ I gasped out as a hit to my side cause me to buckle slightly.   
‘’Oh but we love getting any dirt on you we can Tommy-Joe, I mean you’re the whore, you should know that by now’’ Gus hissed out close to my ear. ‘’So are you ready to tell me who the faggot is in the picture?’’   
‘’No’’ I breathed out before pushing against the hold on me, feeling myself flying backwards before landing hard on the floor, I wrapped my arm around my body a little as I breathed out, the back of my head hurting slightly before I felt a kick in my side.

‘’Faggot, why don’t you just leave, we don’t like your kind in this college’’ Gus hissed out to me, curling in on myself, I let a deep breath out as I closed my eyes. Their footsteps fading away as I laid there, willing pain just to leave, after a few minutes I slowly pulled myself back to my feet again, my hands gripping my open locker to help me as I finished putting my books away.

¤

‘’Hey Sutan, have you seen Tommy around?’’ I asked him as I walked through the backstage towards him, thankfully no one was around as he turned and frowned slightly.   
‘’Not since this morning when he came in to see me’’ He told me and I nodded slightly, ‘’is everything okay?’’ He asked and I shrugged,   
‘’I have no idea, we were going to meet up for lunch on the other side of town and he never showed up, at first I thought he might off been with you so I tried his phone but it just kept ringing before going to voice mail and he hasn’t replied to any of my texts and that was three hours ago’’ I told him and I watched Sutan’s face pale slightly.   
‘’Adam, do you think he might have been hurt by someone?’’ I stared at him before laughing nervously,   
‘’No, he will be fine, I know he will be…You know Tommy…He’s probably off helping someone with their studies’’ he looked at me and I gave a small smile.   
‘’I hope that your right Adam’’ He told me and I nodded.   
‘’See you later’’ I told him as I turned and jogged back out on to the stage and then towards the doors again, mind racing with different thoughts with where Tommy was.

‘’Yo Adam, come on, a bunch of us is going to Ihop, you coming?’’ I heard someone call out and I turned around to see Gus walking towards me, pausing I thought about not eating lunch before I shrugged a little, maybe it would help me to get my mind of Tommy a little, I knew that he would be alright.  
‘’Yeah sure, just got to grab a few things from my locker’’ I told him as he nodded, ‘’Wait for me out in the parking lot’’ I watched as he walked off and I pulled my phone out my pocket as I headed down the hall, my thumb moving through my contacts before I got to Tommy’s name and pressed the call button.

Grabbing my books and bag from the locker I shut it with my elbow before I started to walk back out to the parking lot, phone jammed between my ear and my shoulder as I crossed towards Gus and pushed my books in to the bag, a sigh leaving my lips as it went to voicemail again.  
‘’Baby, just answer your phone or reply to my texts, Im worried about you since you never showed up at lunch like we had planned. Call me back.’’ I spoke in to the phone and shook my head slightly as I hung up and pushed it in to my pocket.   
‘’Girlfriend trouble’’ Gus grinned out and I looked at him and shrugged a little as he laughed and nodded towards the car. ‘’Come on, I’ll give you a lift’’ he told me and I smiled as I walked around and got in to the front passengers seat.

For a while the drive was quiet until we turned in to the main street towards Ihop,   
‘’so tell me, what does she look like?’’ Gus asked with a grin as he looked over at me,   
‘’who?’’ I asked confused a little at why he was asking me abut a girl,   
‘’your girlfriend Adam, what does she look like?’’ He asked with a laugh as I thought about what I should tell him.   
‘’Uhh, well she had blonde hair, gorgeous brown eyes, amazing kisser’’ I shrugged out a little as he grinned with a nod.   
‘’She sound hot’’ He laughed out loudly and I grinned before shaking my head slightly.   
‘’Nah she’s not hot, she is beautiful’’ I corrected him with a smile as I sat back again and stared out the window.   
‘’Dude you are so in love with this chick’’ Gus laughed out and I glanced over at him,  
‘’You know, I think I might just be’’ I told him as I thought about everything with Tommy, I wished I could just admit that it wasn’t a girl but it was Tommy but I knew that I couldn’t, not to Gus of all people who loved to make his life a hell and I bit the inside of my lip slightly as I glanced over before back to the window again, hoping to god he didn’t do anything.

¤

‘’Guys’’ I looked up slightly as one of the others we were sat with spoke, his head nodding over towards the doors as it opened and someone walked in and towards the counter.  
‘’Ha loser’’ Gus laughed out a little louder than needed, the person they were all leering at stiffened slightly before they started to move slightly and stopped turning slightly as a girl quickly walked over and hugged them.   
‘’Dude, she’s so hot, what is she doing near him’’ The same guy who first got our attention to the person spoke again and I saw Gus nod out the corner of my eye,   
‘’what do you think Adam?’’ I turned and looked over at them before shrugging a little.   
‘’Don’t know, too much in love to care about another person’s looks’’ I told him with a shrug as I picked another fry up and slowly chewed on it, avoiding anymore questions as they started to talk again as my eyes moved around them before a voice cleared next to our table and we all turned to see the same girl.   
‘’Hey good looking’’ Gus grinned out and I rolled my eyes as I turned and picked my drink up.   
‘’Excuse me, are you Adam?’’ She asked and I looked up at her nodding with a frown.   
‘’Yeah that’s me’’ I told her and she smiled,   
‘’Great, there’s a phone call for you, says that you rang her and asked to get in touch but she asked me to tell you that her phone died’’ She told me and there was something in her eyes which made me know what she meant.  
‘’Thanks, uh, can you show me where the phone is’’ I asked her softly and she smiled before nodding, standing up, I followed her until we turned around the corner, out of the view and hearing of the others. ‘’Where is he?’’ I asked and she nodded towards a door which was slightly ajar and I looked towards it before breathing out and quickly walked over.

‘’Tommy, what happened baby’’ I breathed out as I pulled the door shut behind me and quickly walked across which turned out to be a bathroom and over to him, my arms wrapping around him tightly as he leaned in to me.   
‘’They did, I can’t take it anymore…they saw the photo’’ He whispered out and I frowned slightly as I looked down at him, a hand coming up to cup around the back of his neck.   
‘’Tommy, what photo are you on about?’’ I asked worried as I pulled away to look at him in the eyes, they were glassy like he had been crying.   
‘’Of us, in the hallway the other week, the one Sutan took of us kissing, he had his phone stolen by Gus and he saw and told everyone, but he doesn’t realize that it’s you, just me’’ He started to say before his words faded of in to a whisper and I swallowed deeply.  
‘’It will be okay baby, I promise’’ I whispered to him as I ducked down and let my lips brush over his. ‘’But how did you know I was here?’’ I asked and he laughed slightly as he rubbed his sleeve over his nose a little.   
‘’I didn’t, I came to see Mia, but when I heard Gus, I glanced over and noticed that you were sat there, so I asked Mia to say that I was your girlfriend on the phone, I got your voicemail but my phone died on me as I tried to call you back.’’ He whispered out and I let a smile fall over my lips softly.   
‘’Why are you so clever for?’’ I grinned before ducking down to steal a light kiss from him again.   
‘’What do you expect, im a nerd and got a kid to look after’’ Tommy shrugged before returning his eyes to the floor again and I sighed, raising my hand up I softly tilted his head back until he looked me in the eyes.   
‘’You are smart Tommy and you are a wonderful dad okay’’ I told him softly, ‘’But you’re not alone anymore, both you and Hamish have me and im going to look after both of you’’ I promised him, his eyes watered up as he nodded, pulling him in to my arms tightly, I buried my face in to his hair and breathed it in slowly.   
‘’You should get back before Gus comes looking for you, im sure he will be wanting to know all about your conversation with your amazing girlfriend’’ Tommy laughed out, my own laughter joining his before I shook my head,  
‘’Might not have a amazing girlfriend, but I do have one amazing boyfriend if he agrees to be mine’’ I whispered as he looked up at me slowly, a smile forming over his lips as he surged up and wrapped his arm around my neck, lips pressed tightly against mine.  
‘’Are you dumb, of course I want to call you mine’’ He whispered to me and I grinned before tugging him towards the door, pausing just enough to run my hand through his hair softly and steal one last kiss from his lips.   
‘’Call me once you’ve charged your phone up’’ I tell him as he nodded and stepped away, sighing I pulled the door open slowly and looked around before I stepped out and walked back towards the table again,  a small smile on my lips which I couldn’t get rid of by the time I sat down again.  
‘’Someone’s a happy chap’’ Gus whistled out and I laughed and nodded a little.   
‘’I am, im with such an amazing person and they make me happy’’ I tell him truthfully, his eyebrow raised slightly before he shrugged it off and turned back to one of the jock’s which had joined us some way through the night.

¤

‘’Sutan, he asked me’’ I laughed out over the house phone, my eyes watching Hamish to make sure that I didn’t wake him up, ‘’Adam actually asked me to be his boyfriend’’ I told him slightly lower this time.   
‘’Baby that’s great, what did he say?’’ Sutan asked on the other end of the line as I breathed out deeply and smiled,  
‘’He told me that me and Hamish wasn’t going to be alone anymore because we had him to look after us both’’ I grinned out before biting down on my lip to stop myself from laughing again. ‘’Strange thing is, I trust him when he said that, I know that he is going to look out for us’’ I whispered out as Sutan laughed.   
‘’Of course he is baby, if he don’t I will break his legs’’ We both laughed and I glanced over at Hamish again before I slid lower in my bed and brought my bed covers up over my shoulders.   
‘’Everything Adam does just makes me fall even more in love with him’’ I admitted to him with a soft sigh,   
‘’Darling, you are young, you allowed to be in love’’ He started to say before pausing for a while, ‘’Have you told him that yet Tommy?’’ He asked me,   
‘’No, not yet, It’s too early to say anything like that, I don’t want to scare him away’’ I spoke out before Sutan started to laugh for a while before it died away.   
‘’Tommy, you have a kid, most people would run five hundred miles once they find out but Adam is still here and he’s told you that he is going to look after both of you, telling him that you love him isn’t going to scare him away baby’’ I listened as Sutan spoke and thought about it before I sighed.  
‘’Why are you always right for?’’ I asked playfully as I turned to lie on my back and stared up at the dark ceiling.   
‘’Because im magical baby, but go to sleep hot daddy, some of us do need our beauty sleep cause we aren’t all vampires like you are’’ I laughed softly as he spoke, a grin on my lips, knowing that there was one of Sutan’s face aswell.  
‘’Night Sut’’ I whispered out to him.   
‘’Goodnight papa bear, I will see you soon’’ I smiled as he blew a kiss over the phone to me before the dial tone came through and I groped out to put the phone back on the stand again.

Pulling the covers away from me, I slowly stood up and walked over to where Hamish was asleep in his bed, sitting down on the edge, I softy ran my fingers through his hair with a soft smile.  
‘’We are going to be okay baby’’ I whispered to his sleeping form, ‘’Daddy’s got enough money saved away for anything we need and we have Adam in our lives now’’ I sighed happily as I leant down and pressed a soft kiss against his head and stood again. Heading out the room, I crept through the empty house until I reached the kitchen where I had left my phone on charge and picked it up, turning it on, I unplugged it before heading outside on to the porch, another blanket tucked under my arm as I crossed over to the swing and sat down on it as I thumbed through my contacts until I found Adam’s name.

‘’Hey baby’’ Adam’s voice came through groggily and I quickly bit my lip as I wrapped the blanket around me tightly,   
‘’did I wake you up?’’ I asked before I heard the sounds of movement from the other end as he moved around.   
‘’Yeah, but I don’t mind if it’s you calling me’’ I laughed softly and looked down at the blanket which I had over my lap and legs slightly.   
‘’I don’t actually know what im calling for, I just wanted to hear your voice’’ I admit to him as he laughed, ‘’ I guess I miss you’’  
‘’I miss you too Tommy’’ Adam replied and I smiled brightly to myself, ‘’And I mean what I said earlier, I want to look after both you and Hamish, im not going to be one of these people who leaves because you have a kid baby, I can see how much you care for him and I want to be part of Hamish’s life’’ Adam told me and I breathed out slightly as tears stung at my eyes. ‘’I want to be there to hold his hand, to pick him up and give him a cuddle if he gets hurt…hell I want to kiss any boo away he gets’’ Adam laughed out and I joined him, ‘’But most of all Tommy, I want to be there with you, watching him grow up, I want to love both of you not just one’’   
‘’He does like going to the park a lot’’ I breathed out slightly and I heard a soft chuckle on the other end.  
‘’Lots of chase playing then’’ He asked and I grinned.   
‘’Yeah, or just bribe him with ice cream’’ I shook my head slightly, ‘’Wow I sound like a crappy parent, bribing my kid with ice cream’’ I laughed out and brought the blanket around me more.   
‘’You’re not a crappy parent baby, you are the best dad out there, no one can top you and im sure Hamish brags to all his friends about how cool his daddy is’’ Adam’s voice was soft but I could hear the warmth in it and it made me smile.  
‘’You should see the looks I get when we are out together and I don’t have a jacket on, or its because of the things we talk about….I mean its not my fault my four year old loves horror films just as much as his dad’’ I laughed out softly.  
‘’What am I ever going to do with you both?’’ Adam asked before we both laughed and I shook my head slightly,   
‘’I don’t know, but im going to go and let you go back to sleep again, I’ll see you around college tomorrow’’ I told him softly before a deep sigh escaped the line on the other end.   
‘’Okay baby, get some sleep yourself’’ Adam replied slowly after a brief silence and I found myself nodding.   
‘’I will, bye’’ I said quietly,   
‘’Bye Tommy’’ He replied just as quiet before the line went dead and I brought my phone away from my ear, eyes staring at the screen until it turned black as it locked itself, shivering slightly, I grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders more as I stood and started to walk back in to the house again, shutting the door, I paused for a while to listen for any movement.

Slowly walking in to the kitchen I made some juice and held it tightly in my hand as I made my way back up to our room again and slipped inside quietly, placing it on the unit next to the bed, I threw the blanket over my others and climbed back in again, pulling them tight around me as I settled down in to the coldness and let my eyes close as I willed myself to get some sleep.

¤

‘’Daddy wake up’’ I stirred slightly before I lifted my covers and reached out, curling my arm around Hamish’s small waist, I pulled him in to my bed, letting the covers fall back down over us as he laughed and his small hands pushed against me, a grin moving over my lips. ‘’Daddy, im going to be for school if you don’t wake up’’ Hamish screamed out in laughter and I grinned before breathing out deeply.   
‘’Okay, okay im awake, have you done your teeth?’’ I asked him as I pushed the covers back and let him get up, he shook his head and I raised an eyebrow slightly before he turned and ran out the room, his footsteps echoing towards the bathroom as I grinned to myself and pulled myself out of my bed, grabbing some clean clothes out the drawers for Hamish, I laid them out on his bed and moved over to the wardrobe for my own and headed down to the bathroom. ‘’Go get dressed monster’’ I told him as he put his toothbrush back and I ruffled his hair,   
‘’Roarrr’’ I laughed slightly before dropping my clothes down on the side and watched as he went running out and in to the bedroom again, laughing loudly, pushing the door shut, I turned towards the shower and started the water up.   
‘’Daddy I cant find my other shoe’’ I heard Hamish yell through the door and I rolled my eyes slightly as I dropped my top down on the floor and walked back over to the door and opened it up,   
‘’Baby’’ I laughed slightly once I saw him with his jeans on with one shoe on his foot, laces trailing slightly and no top. Picking him up, I carried him back to the bedroom and sat him down on the bed as I walked over to his and grabbed his top. ‘’Arms up buster’’ I grinned out to him as he raised them, pulling the top down over his head, I glanced around the room and frowned slightly, ‘’Where did you have those shoes last anyway?’’ I asked as I walked over to the shoe shelf and crouched down while I looked through it.   
‘’Oh I left it at Uncle Sutan’s the last time I went over’’ I heard Hamish tell me and I looked over my shoulder towards him,   
‘’Well, that’s something we have to remember next time, what do you want to wear instead, your boots or creepers’’ I asked as Hamish started to tug the shoe which was on his foot off.   
‘’What are you wearing today daddy?’’ He asked and I thought about it,   
‘’Mhmm, my boots I think’’ I told him,  
‘’Then I want my boots, I want to be like you today’’ He beamed out and I grinned a little as I stood and walked back over to him with them,  
‘’Can you put them on, I need to take a shower and then I will get you breakfast’’ I asked and he nodded, smiling, I kissed the top of his head before heading back to the bathroom again.

Showering quickly, I dried and dressed before rubbing the towel over my hair as I started to walk along the hall, peering in the room I frowned slightly when I didn’t see Hamish anywhere, walking along the hall I looked in to each room before turning back and started to walk downstairs and towards the kitchen.  
‘’Roarrr’’   
‘’Fuck’’ I jumped and turned around to see Hamish grinning, his hands on his hips as he stared at me.   
‘’Daddy, you swore, you have to put a dollar in the jar’’ Hamish grinned before running off in to the living room, only to return moments later carrying a small jar filled with a few dollar’s, shaking my head slightly, I leant down and wrapped my arm around his waist before picking him up and headed in to the kitchen where I sat him on the counter.   
‘’Stay there buster’’ I winked out as I turned and picked my wallet up from the table, screwing my nose up slightly as I looked through it and pulled a dollar out, I pushed it in to his jaw. ‘’You are costing me a bomb, you know that.’’ I grinned out to him, ‘’I swear you like jumping out at me and catching me off guard’’ Hamish grinned before I helped him down.   
‘’Can I have taco’s for breakfast?’’ I looked at him before shaking my head,   
‘’Maybe for dinner tonight, but you can’t have it for breakfast baby, how about fruit loops?’’ I asked as I opened a cupboard and looked through it, ‘’Maybe not…Grandma hasn’t got any’’ I sighed a little before grabbing a box of lucky charms. ‘’This is all we got mate, maybe we can go shopping later and get some more food for grandma yeah?’’ I asked as I looked over to where he nodded. Finding a bowl, I poured some out and added some milk before putting it down in front of him and lifted him up in to his booster seat.  
‘’Go get ready daddy or we will be late, you take forever’’ Hamish grinned out to me and I laughed before kissing the top of his head,   
‘’Just shout if you want to get down or need anything’’ I told him as he nodded, watching him for a few moments, I turned and ran back upstairs where I finished getting dressed and started to work on taming my hair a little before I ran the hot irons over it and added some eyeliner around my eyes.

Walking back in to the kitchen, I ran my hand through Hamish’s hair softly as I sat down and slipped my feet in to my boots, ‘’Can we get ice cream too?’’ I looked up at him before towards the freezer,   
‘’Already all gone is it?’’ I asked and he nodded,   
‘’but Uncle Sutan ate most of it’’ He pouted out and I laughed before nodding.   
‘’We will get some, now come on, we gotta get going before you’re late’’ I told him as I helped him down and picked my wallet, keys and phone up. Pushing it all in to my pockets, I picked my jacket up and bag before threading it through and looked towards Hamish as he pulled his own little leather jacket on and I smiled towards him.   
‘’You ready daddy?’’ He asked before holding his hand out and I smiled, taking it in mine softly, I opened the door and let him walk out as I followed and pulled the front door shut behind me and locked it quickly.

¤

‘’So im going to be late picking him up for about 15 minutes, class over runs and my mom and his godfather cant pick him up today’’ I told the teacher as Hamish ran off towards a drinking fountain.  
‘’That’s fine, thank you for telling us’’ She smiled, returning it, I turned and took a step away before turning back again.   
‘’While Im here, I was wondering if I can put another name down on the list of people who can pic Hamish up, I’ve just gotten in to a relationship and they get out of class before us sometimes’’ I asked and she laughed before grabbing some paper,  
‘’Sure, that’s no problem, that’s their name?’’ She asked and I smiled a little.   
‘’Lambert, Adam Lambert’’ I told her and she looked at me before writing it down.   
‘’Daddy…daddy is Adam coming shopping with us tonight, can he come, can he? I want him to carry me again’’ I laughed softly and picked him up as I looked at him.   
‘’I don’t know, I will have to ask him when I see him later’’ I told Hamish and he nodded slightly before hugging his arms around my neck and kissed my cheek.   
‘’that’s for Adam…make sure you give it to him daddy or I wont be happy’’ I laughed and nodded.   
‘’Duly noted baby, I think Adam will be happy to get your hug and kiss, but I have to go now or im going to be late’’ I told him, hugging him tightly, I kissed his cheek lightly before placing him down again and turned back to the teacher who was smiling at us, blushing slightly I thanked her before waving by to Hamish and headed out the grounds to grab the bus to college.

 

Stepping on to college grounds, I felt myself starting to get nervous as I glanced around for any sign on Gus and his little group of followers.  
‘’Hey Tommy’’ I turned quickly as I heard my name being shouted, relieved to see that it was Adam, looking around us again I quickly jogged over to where he was stood and stepped back behind the bushes there. ‘’Missed you’’ Adam murmured out to me as he grabbed the front of my jacket and pulled me closer as I curled mine around his neck.  
‘’You’re being risky’’ I whispered back to him as he pressed his forehead to mine softly with a smile, his feet slowly backing me up against the wall.   
‘’I wanna kiss you’’ He whispered back as he moved closer, a smirk on his face before soft lips pressed up against mine, fisting my hands in to his hair softly, I pulled him in to a deeper kiss as his tongue slipped across my lower lip, parting them I let Adam keep the control as his body pressed against mine harder.

‘’Hi’’ I whispered with a soft laugh against his lips as our kiss slowed down and I felt him grin against my lips.   
‘’Hi’’ Laughing softly, I rose up and stole another light kiss from Adam’s lips before I pulled away and leaned against the wall watching him. ‘’I wanted to warn you that im taking you and Hamish out this weekend’’ He whispered with a smile, his blue eyes bright in the sunlight as he rested his forehead against mine.   
‘’That’s fine if only you come shopping with us tonight, Hamish wants you too, oh and this is from him’’ I tell him quietly as I kissed his cheek and hugged him quickly, pulling away I could see the smile on Adams face.   
‘’Of course I will, I’ll pick you up’’ He told me,   
‘’I have to pick him up from school, and that’s another thing, I put your name on the list so that if none of us can get him, and your free, that you could pick him up for me’’ I whispered to him shyly before he laughed and pressed his lips back against mine again. Before long the bell rang and I groaned slightly knowing that we had to go back to pretend again, looking up at him as he pressed his hand against my jaw, thumb stroking along my cheek, I smiled softly before leaning up and pressed my lips to his again.  
‘’See you later baby’’ He whispered to me and I smiled before nodding to him. Watching him walk away, I rested back against the wall with a smile before I pushed away and headed towards the stage where Sutan would be waiting for me no doubt.

‘’You’re late Mr. Tommy-Joe’’ Sutan called out as I stepped in to the light of the stage and I grinned slightly as I dug through my bag for the finished mix I had done for him. ‘’You so had a make out session before class didn’t you’’ He accused and I glanced up with a smirk and stepped towards the CD player.   
‘’So what if I did…? Im allowed too, he is my boyfriend after all’’ I laughed out, for once it felt great to be able to say it and know that it was going to be nothing but truth.  
‘’You don’t know how happy I am to hear you say that baby’’ Sutan laughed out from behind me somewhere, feeling arm wrap around me, I let a small squeal out as they picked me up and spun me around slightly, laughing, I wiggled out his hold, landing on the floor with a soft thud as I grinned up at him.

‘’He wants to take us out this weekend’’ I shrugged out like it was a normal thing to happen as I walked back to the stereo and finished putting the cd in to the disk player, ‘’He’s also coming grocery shopping with us tonight because Hamish wanted him to come’’ I laughed out as I shook my head at the memory of it this morning.   
‘’Oh my god Tommy, you are so in love’’ Sutan squealed out to me before dancing around the stage laughing. Grinning to myself I pressed play and turned slightly to look towards him as the music started to fill the room,   
‘’I think I’ve finally got everything perfect on here’’ I laughed out to him, watching as he walked over and held his hand out, I rolled my eyes slightly before taking it and let him start moving me around as we danced to the music, laughing and tripping every so often before I pulled away from him and sat down on the stage as he continued to twirl around to the music’s beat.  
‘’I love it Tommy-Joe’’ He grinned out as he turned to look, ‘’It really is perfect and so worth the wait’’ I nodded with a smile before checking the time.

‘’What classes do you have today?’’ Sutan asked after a while, looking up from where I had been strumming a few cords on the guitar which I had in my lap, I thought about it before turning to look towards the clock.   
‘’Shit, im late for my English block’’ I laughed out as I quickly packed the guitar away and gathered all my things up again and pressed a chaste kiss on Sutan’s lips. ‘’I will catch up later’’ I told him before I took off running up the steps which led to the doors at the back of the room, sprinting over the campus, I round the corner and jogged up the stairs to the English department before skidding to a stop outside the room, out of breath. Pushing the door open I slipped in and offered the teacher a small smile before taking my seat quickly at the back of the room where I copied down the lesson notes from the board before turning to listen to the teacher talking about the subject. Answering a few questions, I copied everything else down, making extra notes for any tutoring lessons which someone might have needed before the class ended. Packing everything away, I lifted my bag over my shoulder and started to walk out before I felt someone nudge in to me and I turned to see a tall guy smiling at me.   
‘’Umm, hi’’ I muttered out shyly to him as he grinned,   
‘’Hey, you are Tommy right, someone said that I could come to you if I needed extra help in subjects’’ He asked quite quickly and I took a moment to work out what he said before I nodded and smiled.   
‘’Yeah that’s me, what subject are you looking at?’’ I asked as we walked out the room and in to the hallway and towards where I knew one of the empty class rooms were for tutoring.   
‘’Um, at the moment, just history, I’ve just moved here and im pretty behind on that subject’’ He told me and I smiled before holding the door open for him to walk in.   
‘’That’s fine, we can do an hour or two now if you liked and then work out other sessions and cost’’ I told him and he nodded with a smile.   
‘’Im Luke’’ He told me before holding his hand out, taking it, I smiled before letting go and moved towards the table.   
‘’Let’s get started then Luke’’ I laughed out slightly as I waited for him to take the books out and laid them out across the table, once he was finished, we started to talk about the parts he was stuck on and quickly moved on through with how to compare different points of time together.

‘’Fuck, I need to go im sorry Luke, I actually didn’t realize that we’ve spent pretty much all day’’ I told him as I started to grab my stuff and push it in to my bag again,  
‘’It’s fine, you look like its something important’’ He stated and I laughed before nodding,  
‘’Yeah it is, got the school run’’ I tell him, ‘’So I will get in touch or just come find me if you get stuck again but you’re pretty much up to date with where you should be, just compare the 16th century to the 18th and use that for your foot notes in your essay and you should be good’’ I told him quickly as I pulled my bag over my shoulder and moved towards the door.   
‘’Thanks Tommy, I really appreciate your help with everything’’ I heard Luke call after me as I turned through the hallways and started towards the main building.

‘’Fag’’ I heard someone mutter to me as I passed and I moved towards my locker, getting there I started to unlock it as I felt hands on my shoulders and pulled me away again.  
‘’What do you want Gus, really can’t you go one day without trying to make someone’s life a living hell?’’ I asked him as he laughed with a couple of his mates. Moving back to my locker again I finished unlocking it and pushed my books inside.   
‘’Move’’ Gus called out and I shut my locker before turning to look at him,   
‘’what?’’ I asked,   
‘’I said move, I want to look what cock sucking shit you have hidden away’’ Gus laughed out but I stood my ground,   
‘’No’’ I told him and I watched as he looked at me twice before he laughed,   
‘’what did you just say fag?’’ He growled out,   
‘’I told you no, you have no right so get fucked Gus’’ I told him, ‘’Im tired of your bullshit all the time’’ I shrugged out before I started to walk away but to find that I was quickly stopped by someone grabbing my arm, feeling them hit me, I doubled over slightly before I felt Gus hit me across the jaw again.

‘’What the hell are you doing?’’  Adam yelled out at the same time as he ran over and as I staggered back slightly from the punch, slowly I raised my hand up to my mouth and swiped it across before puling away to see blood and I breathed out slightly knowing that Gus had split my lip.  
‘’Teaching that faggot a lesson in manners’’ Gus spat out, ‘’He should move out the way when he’s told too’’  
‘’Tommy wasn’t even doing anything you ass’’ someone called out and I glanced around before back towards Adam as he stood between us, his eyes on Gus, glaring slightly before he turned and walked over to me, his hand resting against my jaw as he tilted my head up, thumb lightly brushing over my lip before I winched a little.   
‘’Sorry’’ He whispered, ‘’But are you okay baby?’’ He asked and I nodded slightly, ignoring the few gasps which went around everyone who was stood around us.   
‘’Yeah I will live’’ I told him with a soft smile, ‘’Its only a bit of blood’’ Adam laughed softly before running his hand through my hair softly and leant down pressing a soft kiss to the side of my mouth so he didn’t get blood on him. Watching as he turned back around to face Gus he laughed slightly,   
‘’what’s a matter Gus have you suddenly lost all your queer jokes, the names, didn’t know I was a faggot, a cock sucker? Hell I even left you to go ‘take a phone call’ yesterday’’ Adam spoke, his fingers making quotations in the air, ‘’When in reality Tommy’s friend came to get me to comfort my boyfriend.  And don’t even say you not at least that little bit bendy Gus cause I’ve seen you looking at the other guys in the locker rooms, the showers’’ Adam said loudly and a few people laughed while others moved away from him.  
‘’You’re lying Adam, im fucking straight as a stick’’ Gus tried yelling back but the nerves were clear on his face.   
‘’Do I look like im lying?’’ Adam asked as he stepped closer towards Gus and I couldn’t help but laugh slightly as he stepped back and looked afraid of Adam. ‘’If you have a problem with my boyfriend now, you come to me and not attack him for no reason you ass’’ He growled out before Gus turned and quickly walked away again.

‘’Are you sure you are okay baby?’’ Adam asked as he turned back to look at me and I grinned as I nodded,  
‘’Im fine, but we need to get going before Hamish thinks I’ve been kidnapped either by Michael or Freddy’’ I laughed out, glad a smile fell over his lips,  
‘’Off to get little man then’’ Adam smiled at me as his arm moved around my neck and he pulled me along the hall, I knew that we were both getting looks of everyone and I didn’t blame them…the popular kid and the nerd only really happened in fairytales on in a movie and we weren’t either.

‘’I love you Tommy’’ Adam whispered in to my ear as we reached towards his car and I paused slightly and looked up at him surprised.   
‘’I…I love you too, have done for a while now’’ I admitted, a blush forming over my cheeks as he laughed, feeling his hand cup my jaw before the soft press of his lips against mine, holding on to the front of his shirt tightly, I slowly pulled away and smiled at him, ‘’So you don’t mind a second hand heart loving you?’’ I asked and Adam laughed softly, his hand stroking over my jaw softly.   
‘’Baby, I love you even with all the chips and cracks because I know that im going to do my best to fill those in and be the best person I can be for you and Hamish, but I really think we should go get him’’ Adam said and I nodded slowly before grinning.  
‘’Yeah, I think I really will have to buy him ice cream to make up for being late’’ I laughed out as we walked towards his car and got inside.


	9. Grocery shopping with a four and 19 year old

‘’You know, I have some wipes in the glove compartment if you wanna clean yourself up a little’’ Adam told me as I glanced over and then leaned over to look in to the rearview mirror, groaning slightly at the side of blood. Opening the box, I moved through it until I found them and took a wipe out before I leant back over and started to wipe it away from my chin and lip. Feeling the sting, I winched slightly before I ran the wipe over the small cut on my lip again to try and clean up some more of the dried up blood on it before I looked around for a place to put the dirty wipe, not finding anywhere, I placed it on top of the dashboard with a small sigh.  
‘’Why did you do it for?’’I asked Adam softly as I sat back again and looked over at him. ‘’I mean, you just basically outted yourself because of me’’ I watched as he smiled and glanced over towards me.   
‘’Tommy, I told you that I would look after you and I’ve had enough of Gus bullying you and giving you grieve, it has to stop’’ He told me, ‘’It’s not fair on anyone, not fair on you.’’ I nodded slightly before I lightly let the tip of my tongue slide across my lower lip. ‘’So do you really think that Hamish is going to make you feel so bad for being late that you’re going to buy him ice cream to make up for it’’ he laughed out as I blushed and shrugged slightly,   
‘’What he likes ice cream and when Sutan eats it with him, there’s no look in for anyone else in the house’’ I told him with a soft laugh. ‘’So I guess you could say that we are constantly buying ice cream’’ I grinned out to him.

I couldn’t help but smile to myself at how easy everything seemed to be slotting in to place with each other and how easy it felt to talk about near enough anything with Adam and not have him judge you because of something you’ve said or done around him and I was glad that he wanted to be part of Hamish’s life aswell as just mine, it meant so much to me knowing that and that he wasn’t just going to get up and leave us when ever times was going to get hard, I knew it would and I had a feeling that Adam knew that too, yet he still wanted to be with me.

‘’You’re late!’’ Hamish’s voice was loud as I walked along the hallway, looking in to the classrooms as I tried to find his. Looking up at him, I offered a soft smile towards the teacher as she tilted her head slightly to look at me, her hand still holding Hamish’s. ‘’But you are going to come shopping with me and daddy aren’t you Adam’’ He asked quickly as I stepped closer and I chuckled softly as I nodded.   
‘’Of course I am kiddo’’ I told him before I heard footsteps behind me and I turned to see Tommy walking towards us.   
‘’Daddy, you’re late too’’ Hamish called out and a smile pulled up at the corner of Tommy’s lips,  
‘’Yeah sorry, daddy had to deal with something but im going to make it up to you, I promise’’ He told him as the teacher let his hand go and he came running over before stopping in front of us.   
‘’What’s wrong?’’ Tommy asked and Hamish shrugged slightly.   
‘’I don’t know who I want to carry me’’ He told us and I laughed softly before ruffling my fingers through his hair,   
‘’Tommy, is it okay if I talk to you for a second’’ The teacher asked and he looked up worriedly before he nodded and walked over and I reached out for Hamish’s hand.   
‘’Come on Adam, I want to show you my painting’s’’ He grinned out before he started to drag me away from the other two and towards a wall, his little fingers pointing out which ones was his. ‘’and this one is off Daddy and uncle Sutan’’ Hamish told me as he pointed towards another painting and I grinned slightly.   
‘’Im jealous, you get to play with paint and draw all day’’ I told him with a smile as I lifted him up in my arms, his own wrapping around my neck tightly.   
‘’When I grow up, I want to be like you and daddy’’ He told me and I looked at him before frowning slightly,   
‘’what in college together?’’ I asked him as he laughed and shook his head.   
‘’No silly, you make daddy smile and smiling means daddy’s happy and I want to be happy like you and daddy’’ Hamish explained and I couldn’t help but smile at him before I kissed his cheek.  
‘’Im sure you will be very happy when you’re older’’ I told him as he nodded with a cheeky smile before he turned and carried on talking about different things as I started to walk back towards Tommy and the teacher.

‘’So everything’s good’’ Tommy asked as I got closer and she smiled sweetly as she nodded,  
‘’Of course Tommy,’’ She spoke out before turning to smile at me as Tommy moved and leaned in to my side slightly before he smiled up at Hamish. ‘’but you can understand where I came from, but now I know what Adam looks like, I will be more than willing to let Hamish go running off to him if he sees him’’ Tommy nodded with a smile.  
‘’I do,’’ He spoke out before turning to look up at me, ‘’Just talking about how Hamish saw you and wanted to come running over’’ He told me and I nodded,   
‘’I totally understand, school’s have to be careful with their kids, I just hope I didn’t cause too much trouble’’ I told the teacher and she laughed softly before shaking her head,  
‘’Oh no you didn’t, but I hope you have a wonderful afternoon and I will see you tomorrow Hamish’’ She said to him as he smiled and waved to his teacher before she walked away.

Wrapping my arm around Tommy’s waist, I held both of them close to me before I leaned down and kissed Tommy’s cheek softly.  
‘’Hey, where’s mine and did daddy give you my hug and kiss today?’’ Hamish asked as I looked up before breaking out in t a soft laugh, kissing his cheek I winked at him.  
‘’He did indeed, thank you very much, it made my day a whole lot brighter’’ I told him as he grinned widely before starting to wiggle. Putting him down, I wrapped my arm back around Tommy’s shoulder again as we turned and started to walk out the school and back towards my car, Hamish just ahead of us.   
‘’You’re so good around him’’ Tommy whispered to me softly as his arms came up around my waist and I smiled at him,  
‘’Of course I am, he’s part of you and I love every part of you so there fore, I love him just as much’’ I shrugged out to him with a smile, ‘’Plus, he’s bright and a smart kid, just like his daddy is’’ I whispered in to his ear softly as Tommy blushed lightly and playfully shoved me.  
‘’Daddy don’t hurt Adam’’ Hamish called out and we looked up to see him stood watching us, his hands on his hips as he tried his best to frown at us.   
‘’Im sorry baby, I will behave’’ Tommy spoke out to him as I laughed slightly and received a glare of Tommy,  
‘’I saw that daddy’’ Hamish called out again and I grinned before Tommy turned and chased after him before scooping him up in his arms to spin around slightly, their laughter loud in the parking lot. 

My boys…

I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as the thought crossed my mind, my fingers digging in to my pocket and pulling my keys out as I watched the two of them chase each other around before Tommy picked Hamish up and held him under his arm as he walked over with a giggling child.  
‘’Look what I found, Whatya say Adam, shall we keep him?’’ Tommy asked as he playfully pretended to drop Hamish before turning around in a circle again.   
‘’Keep me, keep me’’ Hamish laughed out brightly as I moved my hand up and rubbed at my chin slightly,   
‘’Mhmm, it’s a hard choice, but I guess we could keep the little squirt’’ I grinned out before Tommy placed him back on his feet again, a smile on all our faces as we reached my car and I unlocked it.   
‘’Shit’’ Tommy cursed out as he pressed the palm of his hand to his forehead slightly,   
‘’Daddy! You owe me a dollar’’ Hamish chipped in and I frowned slightly between them before Tommy pulled his wallet out and handed a dollar over to Hamish, who in turn pushed it in to his pocket.   
‘’I don’t have a booster seat for him’’ Tommy spoke out as he turned to look at me and I nodded slightly,   
‘’Just have him on your lap, we can stop off at yours to grab it before going shopping’’ I told him and he smiled softly before leaning over to press a light kiss against my lips.

Climbing in to the car, I pulled Hamish up on to my lap and moved the seatbelt around the both of us before closing the door again and wrapped my arms around his waist tightly as Adam walked around the back of the car and got in to the drivers seat, keys being pressed in to the engine before the car started up and he was pulling out of the parking lot.   
‘’Daddy, are we going to have Taco’s for dinner like you said this morning?’’ Hamish asked out as he bounced around on my lap slightly and I let a sudden gasp out and held him tightly as I lent my forehead against his shoulder and breathed out deeply.  
‘’You okay baby?’’ I heard Adam ask as I swallowed slightly and slowly sat up to see Hamish staring at me with a worried look.   
‘’Im good’’ I breathed out slightly as I glanced over at Adam with a small smile before turning back to Hamish again, his eyes looking like he was about to cry. ‘’Hey, im fine buddy, just don’t jump around like that on my lap okay,’’ I told him and he nodded slightly before he sniffed.   
‘’I didn’t mean to hurt you daddy’’ He whimpered out slightly and I laughed softly as I pulled him closer and wrapped my arms around him even tighter.   
‘’It’s okay, it was an accident okay.’’ I whispered to him softly, ‘’But I did make a promise for tacos didn’t I, so Im going to keep that promise’’ I told him, a grin spreading over his little face.   
‘’Yay, I love you daddy’’ Hamish shouted out and I grinned as he kissed my cheek and settled back down against my chest again as Adam drove with a grin on his own lips before we pulled up outside the house and I unbuckled my seatbelt.  
‘’You stay here while I go get your seat, and you both stay out of trouble okay’’ I told them both before I placed Hamish down in my seat and closed the door again. Jogging up the path, I pushed the front door open and stepped inside. 

‘’Tommy is that you’’ Ma called out and I smiled as I walked through and in to the living room where she was sat watching tv,   
‘’Yeah, just grabbing the car seat and then going to go buy some shopping, we are out of a few things’’ I told her as she smiled and then leaned over to her bag where she pulled her purse out along with some money.   
‘’Here, take this and go out tonight with Adam’’ Ma told me and I shook my head slightly as I stepped back,   
‘’Mama, no, im not taking it from you’’ I told her and she laughed before shaking her head and stood up, walking over, I watched as she reached out and took my hand in hers before turning it over and pressed the money in to it and curled my fingers around it.   
‘’Go out and enjoy yourselves, I will look after Hamish okay’’ She told me before gently kissing my cheek before she stepped back again with a smile.   
‘’Ma, I’’ I started before she started to shake her head at me.   
‘’Thomas Joseph Ratliff, you are going to take that money and your boyfriend and you are going to go out tonight to have a night out, you deserve it after everything you’ve been through in the past few months, not only will I say it, but Sutan would and im sure your father would’ve said it aswell if he was still here, just be a kid again darling, go and enjoy yourself and forget that you are a parent for one night’’ She told me as I swallowed slightly and blinked the tears away.  
‘’I miss him so much Ma,’’ I told her and she nodded gently before pulling me in to a hug,   
‘’I know baby, we all do, but you know he is in a better place now and that he’s still in our hearts’’ She whispered as I nodded and smiled,   
‘’Okay, I will go out tonight, but any trouble with him, just ring me please’’ I begged her and she smiled before nodding at me.   
‘’I will do Tommy’’ She told me and I laughed slightly as I brushed my eyes clear and walked back out in to the hallway where I grabbed the seat and slipped the money in to my pocket before heading back out to Adam and Hamish who was still waiting for me in the car.

Opening the back door, I strapped Hamish’s seat in before I moved to the front and opened the side passenger door and raised an eyebrow slightly as I found Adam painting his nails black, a soft laugh leaving my lips a Hamish looked up at me with a grin,   
‘’I wanted to be like you and Adam’’ He giggled out, a sheepish smile on Adams lips brought me to a soft laugh.   
‘’Alright, but in to the back now,’’ I grinned out as Adam blew lightly on the last nail before putting the lid back on the polish again. Lifting him out, I stepped around the doors before strapping him in to his seat again, closing the door, I climbed back in to the passengers seat as Adam started the car up and smiled over at me.  
‘’What took you so long?’’ He asked and I laughed softly as I pulled my seatbelt across and strapped it in,   
‘’Was talking to Ma, she’s given me some money so we can go out tonight’’ I told him before I watched as he glanced in the mirror towards Hamish in the back, turning slightly I smiled as he stared out the window as everything past by and then turned back again to face Adam, ‘’Ma’s going to look after him for us’’ I told him as he nodded.  
‘’That sounds like a nice idea’’’ Adam told me before he reached over and softly placed his hand on my knee, my own hand moving to cover his and to slip my fingers between his where he squeezed them softly.

Everything Tommy did still amazed me fully, he knew how to look after himself and Hamish and not care what other people thought when they were seen together. Walking through the store, I watched as Tommy held Hamish’s hand tightly in his own as his pushed the trolleycart with his other before picking him up to place in the cart. His shoulder blades showing through his thin top slightly with every movement he made high or low, but I couldn’t help notice that people mainly stared at Tommy’s tattoo’s on his arms before glancing towards his outfit and then at Hamish because he was dressed near enough the same.   
‘’Come on Adam, catch up’’ Hamish laughed out before I grinned and walked over to them, my fist lightly bumping against his nose in a playful manner.   
‘’So what’s needed first’’ I asked Tommy as he frowned slightly as he thought.   
‘’Fruit loops’’ Hamish quickly grinned out, causing us to both turn and look at him, ‘’I didn’t have them for breakfast because there weren’t any so I had lucky charms instead’’ he added and Tommy nodded slightly.   
‘’Yeah that’s right, you stay here and I will go get them quickly’’ Tommy told me and I nodded before taking his place as he turned and walked back a few aisles. 

‘’Oh what a cute little boy’’ I turned as I heard a voice and I smiled towards the little old lady, ‘’and what’s your name sweetie?’’ She asked him before he turned and looked at me.   
‘’Im sure it’s okay to talk to her’’ I told him before he nodded slightly and turned back to smile at the lady.   
‘’Im Hamish and that’s Adam’’ He spoke out, first pointing at himself and then to me as she laughed softly.   
‘’Oh what a nice name’’ She replied and turned to smile at me, ‘’is he your son?’’ She asked and I shook my head slightly,   
‘’No, he’s my other half’s son’’ I told her as she nodded with a wide smile,   
‘’What’s your name m’am’’ Hamish asked and I smiled at him as she looked back to him,   
‘’My, he’s a very well spoken boy, isn’t he’’ She told me and I nodded softly before turning back to Hamish, ‘’You can call me Mrs. Jameson’’ She told him before holding her hand out to Hamish.  
‘’It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Jameson, now we are no longer strangers’’ He told her and she smiled shook his hand gently.   
‘’Well, you both have a beautiful child whether or not he is your own flesh and blood’’ She told me and I laughed softly with a nod.   
‘’Here we go…oh hi’’ I heard Tommy say as he walked up behind me and smiled shyly at the old lady,   
‘’Daddy, daddy this is Mrs. Jameson, she’s really nice’’ Hamish smiled out widely and I could see the panic going across Tommy’s face before I glanced to see the Mrs. Jameson taken back slightly before a smile fell over her face.   
‘’You have a wonderful son my dear’’ She told Tommy as he blushed slightly and nodded, ‘’my own son is gay and his husband and him are trying to adopt a little baby for their daughter to have a little brother or sister’’ She continued and I could see Tommy relax instantly as a smile formed over his face.   
‘’I hope they can, I never thought I would have a 4 year old at the age of 19 and I admit I was stupid when I was younger but I wouldn’t change anything, I don’t think life would be as interesting if I didn’t have my son or Adam in my life now’’ Tommy told Mrs. Jameson who let a light laugh out herself,  
‘’don’t we all do things which we regret but still wouldn’t change, that’s the whole part of growing up dear, im glad you are happy and you have a wonderful man by your side, if I was 40 years younger I would go after him myself’’ She laughed out and I blushed slightly myself as I wrapped an arm around his waist. ‘’Now I must go sadly, im expecting my son around for tea tonight with his family.’’  
‘’Bye Mrs. Jameson’’ Hamish told her and she smiled before pausing and pulled her purse closer before taking out a coupe of dollars and handed them to him,  
‘’Now you look after that, not too many sweeties now’’ She smiled as his little face beamed.  
‘’What do you say Hamish?’’ Tommy asked,  
‘’Thank you so much m’am’’ Hamish told her before she nodded and smiled towards her, watching her walk away, Tommy turned to look at me before I shrugged slightly and laughed.  
‘’There are surprises around every corner baby’’ I told him before leaning down and pressed a soft kiss to his temple.

‘’Daddy can we make home made Taco’s for dinner?’’ Hamish asked as we both turned to look at him,   
‘’you sure you don’t want to go buy them?’’ Tommy asked and he shook his little head quickly,   
‘’I like doing things with you and I want to do them with Adam too’’ He replied back and I smiled before I moved the cart forward slightly as we started to walk along the row’s, Tommy placing things in to the cart once in a while as he thought.  
‘’Sure, why not’’ He grinned out and I chuckled softly as Tommy took the cart from my hands and started to go around with Hamish, pausing slightly to look at a few different things, I turned back to see Tommy gliding down the row, his booted feet up above the wheels slightly before he quickly dropped them down to stop them from crashing in to someone, a smile on both of their faces before he looked up to see the women glaring at them.   
Watching him move the cart away, I couldn’t help but grin as he started to laugh and high fived his son, ‘’Someone likes to live on the wild side’’ I whispered as I wrapped my arms around Tommy’s waist, my lips brushing against his ear as he shivered slightly.  
‘’Its something we’ve always done’’ He told me back and I smirked softly and kissed his cheek.

Moving around the store, we soon filled the cart with everything we needed to make Taco’s with along with other things which needed to be replace and just brought before we headed to the checkout and Tommy lifted Hamish out of the cart to stand beside us as I started to moved everything up on to the checkout.

‘’That will be, $70.63 please’’ The cashier spoke out before Tommy pulled his wallet out and took a card out to pay.   
‘’Adam’’ A quiet voice from beside me spoke out and I looked down at Hamish before I crouched.   
‘’What’s up kiddo’’ I whispered back to him as he smiled and glanced towards Tommy and then back again.   
‘’I want to buy something for daddy with the money Mrs. Jameson gave me’’ He whispered to me and I smiled at him.   
‘’Leave it to me, I will sort something out for you’’ I told him as he smiled and I stood up again, turning to face Tommy, he looked between us before I shrugged and he frowned slightly but turned back t punch in the password for his card.

‘’Here’’ I told Tommy after we had packed all the shopping away in to the trunk of my car and I held my keys out to him as I held Hamish’s hand with my other, ‘’There’s something me and little one has to do but you go on home and get everything sorted, we wont be long’’ I told him.  
‘’What is going on between you two?’’ Tommy asked as I lifted Hamish up and held him against the side of my hip as he grinned.   
‘’You aren’t allowed to know daddy, it’s a surprise’’ I chuckled softly at his words before I turned back to Tommy as he grinned and stepped closer to us, a finger pointing at both of our chests.   
‘’Fine, but be back, no later than two hours from now or there will be trouble.’’ He told us before we both nodded to him in understandment, kissing him back as he leaned up and pressed his lips against mine, I curled my hand around his wrist lightly before he pulled away and smiled.  
‘’And you behave Hamish, if I find out that you haven’t, you will be in trouble’’ He told him before kissing his forehead.

We watched as Tommy climbed in to the car and then pulled away with a wave before I turned back to Hamish and grinned at him which was returned, letting him down again, I took his hand before we started to walk away from the store and towards the main part of the city, letting Hamish lead the way to what ever store which he wanted to go in to. I looked around slightly, before looking down at him once in a while to make sure that he was still okay with all the walking, his small legs covered in his own jeans and boots like his father had on, a similar leather type jacket apart from his hair was a little more shaggy and thicker than Tommy’s and a darker shade.   
‘’Here’’ He called out as he stopped and pointed up at a shop, the windows dark with a lot of rockish and punk type clothing along with statues, books and paintings, turning to look at it, I smiled slightly before I looked down at him,   
‘’I think this would be perfect for him’’ I told him before I helped him climb the two steps up in to the store and walked in behind him. Walking through the store, I glanced around for anything before I looked back at Hamish again who looked just as lost and confused. Grinning slightly I leant down and picked him up before walking over towards a large glass case and started to look through it at the different things they had in there.   
‘’Lets start here, im sure daddy has plenty of clothing already doesn’t here?’’ I asked Hamish as he grinned and nodded his head,   
‘’to much, but he wont let me have any until Im older’’ He told me and I laughed before we both turned back to look through the little trinkets and other things in the glass case.   
‘’What about that one Hamish’’ I asked him as I pointed towards a small black spider sat on top of a coffin which doubled as a small box for things.   
‘’No, daddy don’t really like spiders and he already has something like that but with other things on I think but it broke easily when I accidently knocked it off the shelf.’’ Hamish told me as he kept looking through the glass, ‘’Please put me down, I want to have a look on the lower shelves’’ He told me and I nodded softly before putting him down on his feet before I watched as he moved down on to his knees to look through everything else, hands pressed against the glass, along with his nose.  
Seeing a couple of rings, I looked through them before a soft smile graced the corner of my lips as a pair of black rings caught my eyes, one holding a small band of blue through the middle and the other holding a band of golden brown, the color almost matching Tommy’s own eye color.  
‘’Hi can I help you at all?’’ A female’s voice came out from behind us and I turned slightly before I smiled,   
‘’actually you co-‘’’ I started to say before Hamish jumped up and tugged on my shirt,   
‘’I found something I know daddy will like’’ He grinned out excitedly before he turned and saw the lady who worked in the store. ‘’Can you get it out for me?’’ He asked before she looked to me and I nodded slightly,   
‘’He wanted to buy something for his dad’’ I told her as she smiled before crouching down to Hamish’s level.   
‘’And what is it which you would like me to get for you?’’ She asked him before he gently took her hand and pressed a finger against the glass,   
‘’That one at the back there’’ He spoke out before she smiled and nodded, watching as she took her keys out to unlock the case, I took Hamish’s hand to pull him out the way slightly before she turned back around with a piece of fabric in her hand and a small silver bat on top, incrusted with small red gems for its eyes.   
‘’what do you think Adam, will daddy like it?’’ He asked and I smiled softly before nodding at him,   
‘’He will love it’’ I told him as he smiled before turning back to the lady, ‘’could I get a look at those rings aswell?’’ I asked her as I pointed to the ones I meant and she nodded before unlocking the case with her free hand and took them out. ‘’Perfect, we will take both of them’’ I told her as she smiled and locked the case back up again and we followed her towards the check out.

‘’Adam, do you think I have enough money?’’ Hamish asked once he had placed the money he had been given on the counter top, a worried look on his little face again as the lady smiled and rung the gifts through, I knew that he didn’t but I didn’t want to upset him after spending so long trying to find the perfect gift.  
‘’I bet if you close your eyes and count to 10, your money will be doubled’’ I told him, his eyes wide before he quickly closed them and started to count, pulling my wallet out, I added more money on top of his small pile on the counter before handing my card over to the lady.  
‘’Would you like them gift boxed and wrapped?’’ She asked and I thought slightly before looking down at Hamish and nodded.   
‘’1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10’’ Hamish called out before he opened his eyes and gasped as he looked at the money, ‘’Wow Adam you were right, that is magic but it’s so cool’’ He beamed out as he stepped closer and stood on his tip toes to look over the counter top.  
‘’Here we go, and turns out that you don’t need to give me the money after all’’ The lady said to Hamish before his eyes widened even more and I chuckled softly and picked the few notes up before handing it to him,   
‘’Why not?’’ Hamish asked her as he looked at it confused and then back to her,   
‘’Magic’’ She grinned out before she reached under the counter slightly and then held out a lollypop to him, which he gently took with a smile.   
‘’Thank you’’ He told her before she winked and smiled towards me.   
‘’Thanks a lot’’ I told her before I took the little bag with the gifts in one hand and Hamish’s hand in the other as I started to lead him out of the store and out on to the street again, the afternoon sun starting to lower a little behind the buildings as we walked further along the sidewalks, watching the traffic go by and the different people who walked past us. 

The walk back to Tommy’s place was slow but worth every second spent with Hamish alone, he was so full of energy and things to say, it opened me up to a brand new world really.  
‘’So do you have any brothers and sisters Adam?’’ Hamish asked out as our hands swung a little between us and I looked down at him before nodding.   
‘’I do, I have a sister and a brother, but my brother lives with his grandparents because he didn’t want to move to Burbank with us’’ I told him and he frowned slightly,   
‘’But why wouldn’t he want to live with his mommy or daddy and you?’’ He asked and I smiled softly,  
‘’It’s because we have moved a lot of times and he didn’t want to move anymore, he was upset that he had to keep changing school and friends all the time. We still talk to him lots and often go to visit him.’’ I explained to him before he smiled up at me.   
‘’What about your sister? What’s she like?’’ He asked and I laughed softly before picking him up as I walked across the road.   
‘’Well my sister is a year younger than I am, but she acts a lot younger again because her mind doesn’t work very well like yours and mine and your daddy’s do, so she has to visit the doctor a lot to check it’’ I tried to explain to him in a simpler way which he would hopefully understand.  
‘’Oh…can I play with her one day?’’ He asked suddenly and I grinned before nodding, ‘’Im sure we could arrange that with daddy, im sure Jane would love to meet you’’ I told him before we turned on to the street and headed up to the house.

Watching as Hamish reached up and opened the door, I held it open for him as he headed inside quickly before running back again to kick his boots off and to shrug his jacket off. Taking it off him, I hung it up and stepped in further as I pushed the door closed and took my own jacket off.   
‘’He’s in the hallway, daddy close your eyes’’ I heard Hamish’s voice call out before he came running back out to meet again. ‘’Can I have daddy’s present’’ he asked before I nodded and took out the ring boxes before handing him the small bag. ‘’Thank you’’ He grinned out before he took off running again, following him out in to the kitchen, I smiled as I saw Tommy stood in the middle of the kitchen with his eyes closed and hands out widely. Shaking my head I walked over and kissed his cheek lightly before walking past and sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.  
‘’Hey Adam, how was he?’’ Tommy asked as I leaned on the table and watched Hamish stare at his father before he grinned.   
‘’He was perfect, a little angle in fact’’ I told him before Hamish took a step forward and tugged on Tommy’s hands to bring him down a little before placing the bag in to his hands.  
‘’You can open your eyes now daddy’’ He grinned out as Tommy’s eyes flickered open and he looked down at Hamish before over at me as I smiled, watching him as he turned back and then sat down on the floor, Hamish moving to sit in his lap before Tommy wrapped him up in his arms and pulled the bag closer again. ‘’I hope you like it, I picked it out myself’’ He grinned up to him before Tommy looked over at me and I nodded,   
‘’It’s true’’ I grinned as Tommy turned back to look back down again as he pulled the little box out and started to open it up, watching him move the tissue paper away, a small gasp left his lips as he stared down at it.   
‘’Thank you Hamish, it’s amazing, truly is amazing and beautiful’’ He told him before he hugged him to his body tighter and ran a finger over the silver bat, Tommy’s brown eyes stuck on the bat like a life line which was about to be broken and I could tell that he did loved what his son had picked out for him.

The look of love and adoration was clear on Tommy’s face as he talked with Hamish; it was such a wonderful sight to see him happy and carefree, more than he was when we were in college. I knew that Gus gave him a hard time all the time and it was started to take effect on him, but I was glad that he could come home to such a loving family and just   
forget about the day’s events the best he could. 

‘’Right then, I guess its taco time’’ I grinned out before helping Hamish to stand up from my lap. Standing up, I placed the lid back on the box again and placed it safely at the back of the counter top and turned to look at the others. ‘’Why don’t you go get the mince from the freezer while me and Adam chops some things up to mix with it’’ I told Hamish as he smiled and ran over to the other side of the room and through the door to the pantry as Adam’s arms came wrapping around my waist, his nose nuzzling against the side of my neck slightly, making me laugh before I leaned back in to his chest with a soft sigh.   
‘’You’re too cuddly’’ I muttered out to him before his lips pressed soft kisses against my skin before he chuckled softly, his breath warm against my neck as I pulled away slightly and reached out for some of the lettuce and a knife.  
‘’I didn’t hear you complaining the other week when we were laid together on the couch’’ He whispered in to my ear and I smirked slightly before I started to chop the lettuce up and place it over in to another bowl.   
‘’Well I was tired and I was upset and not thinking’’’ I grinned out slightly before I wiggled out his hold and moved over to get some tomatoes and moved to place them in front of Adam before holding the knife out to him. ‘’Get chopping’’ I winked out before I headed out to check on Hamish.

‘’Baby, what are you doing’’ I asked with a gentle laugh and walked over towards where he was sat on the floor with the mince beside him, I little hands scooping some of the spilt meat up and in to a bowl.  
‘’I dropped some when I took it out’’ He told me and I smiled before grabbing the mince from him and held my hand out.   
‘’Come on, lets go get this cooking shall we’’ I told him before I helped him up and started to walk back in to the kitchen again and over towards the cook where I lifted him up and sat him on the counter beside it. ‘’Hold on tightly’’ I told him as I handed the mince back and quickly found the pan I needed and placed it on top of the cooker ring and turned it on. Helping him to pour the frozen meat in to the pan, I stirred it quickly before reaching over beside Hamish and picked up some of the herbs and spices to add in to it.

‘’I thought I told you two to go out tonight?’’ Ma’s voice rang out and I glanced over my shoulder to see her stood in the doorway and I smiled softly before shrugging slightly,  
‘’Wanted to cook dinner and Hamish wanted taco’s’’ I told her as I stirred the herbs and spices in to the mince and then helped him down off the counter top. Taking the pan off the cooker, I walked over to where Adam was stood putting everything in to their own bowl, I poured the meat in to another before setting it on the table and grabbed the taco shells and placed them on a try before walking back to the oven and pushed them in.   
‘’don’t worry m’am, I will make sure Tommy goes out after dinner’’ Adam spoke out and I looked over at him before laughing softly,  
‘’Honey, call me Dia or mom, I don’t mind’’ She told him with her motherly smile before I picked up two of the bowls and Adam picked the last one up with the plates and we laid the table out.  
‘’Go wash your hands Hamish’’ I told him before he nodded and ran out the room, his footsteps echoing off the steps as he ran upstairs.   
‘’I hope you boys have some fun tonight, you deserve a night out’’ Ma told us both as Adam’s arms found their way back around my waist again and I laughed softly as I relaxed back in to his body and moved my arms over the top of his, our fingers linking together with a gently squeeze. ‘’the last time you had a decent night out was the night Hamish went to the hospital and I pulled you away from that’’ she continued before I blushed slightly as I remembered all the things which we had said to each other in the club that night before the warm feeling of Adam’s arms around me, holding me when we were outside the hospital.   
‘’don’t worry ma, im sure we will do’’ I told her as she smiled and nodded, watching her walk out the room, I turned in Adam’s arms before hugging him tightly with a small sigh.  
‘’Am I really that bad with not having a life?’’ I asked him, his chest moving slightly as he laughed and ran his fingers through my hair softly.   
‘’Just a little baby, but it’s worth it, now you should go get those taco shells before we burn them’’ He told me and I gasped before pushing him away quickly and ran over to the oven, grabbing the oven gloves, I pulled the door open and pulled the tray out, the shells a dark golden brown showing that they would’ve started to burn if left in for any longer.

Dinner passed rather quickly and smoothly for once which I was glad off, just watching Adam and Hamish messing around with each other and talking made me feel good inside and the feeling just kept growing and growing with each moment, just like I felt like I was fallen deeper in love with Adam even more again, I knew that it was probably impossible to love him even more than I already did but it just felt like it.   
‘’You ready’’ I looked up from where I had been sat on my bed to see Adam stood in the door way, his hair spiked slightly and deep ocean blue eyes rimmed with black, there was a few freckles showing still on his skin and it made me smile as I stood up and walked over to him, my hands wrapping themselves in to the front of the jacket which he was wearing.   
‘’You look amazing’’ I whispered to him, my lips inches from his as he smiled and slipped his hands on to my hips, his thumbs hooking in under the black shirt which I was wearing.  
‘’As do you’’’ He whispered back to me, the warmth of his breath hitting against my lips before I leaned up a little and let myself close the tiny gap between us.  
‘’I swear you are like cyanide Tommy’’ Adam whispered against my lips as he backed me up against the doorframe, ‘’I feel like you are going to kill me yet I cant get enough of you’’ He whispered, voice slightly heavy as I trailed my hands up to his neck and pulled his lips back against mine again deeply.  
‘’Then I will be your fate worse than death, your cynical suicide’’ I whispered back as I pulled away a little and pushed him backwards. ‘’We should get going, if we are going out tonight’’ I told him with a slight grin, ‘’I haven’t had a drink in such a long time and I feel like tonight will be a good night’’ I told Adam with a smile as he let a soft laugh out and took one of my hands in his before pulling me closer to press a chaste kiss on my lips again.   
‘’Let’s go then sugar’’ He winked out, leaving a laugh escaping from my lips.

 

The club’s music was loud as we stepped in through the door and started to make our way towards the bar, keeping a hand touching lightly against the small of Tommy’s back, I smiled down at him before slipping in to a free seat at the bar and held him close to me before the bartender came close enough to order some drinks in for the two of us. Looking up at Tommy, I smiled as his bright brown eyes moved around the club, taking everything in before they returned to me, his blonde hair fallen down in front of them slightly before he flicked them out the way and leaned in to me more.  
‘’I’m glad that we came out tonight’’ Tommy told me and I nodded to him as I rubbed my thumb over his stomach softly.   
‘’Me too, come on lets go find somewhere to sit’’ I told him as I let him go and picked the drinks up, a smile on his face as we started to move through the crowds and towards an empty table where we sat down for a while.

‘’Excuse me, could I buy you a drink?’’ Someone asked and I looked up before glancing towards Tommy who was staring down at the table.   
‘’Tommy, I think you were being spoken too’’ I grinned out as he looked up at me and then the guy,   
‘’Sorry, what was that?’’ He asked the guy with a sheepish smile.   
‘’I asked if I could buy you a drink and maybe a dance’’ The guy asked again with a small smirk before Tommy let a soft laugh out,   
‘’Sorry but no, came out with my boyfriend’’ He told the guy before turning to look at me with a smile before he stood up and grabbed my hand, letting him pull me to my feet and lead the way towards where everyone was dancing, I couldn’t help but laugh when I wrapped my arms around his waist and brought my lips down to his ear.  
‘’Have I ever told you that you are one sneaky person’’ I whispered in to his ear before I lightly tugged on his earrings.   
‘’yeah but you love me so…’’ He trailed off as he pulled away and smiled at me, ‘’Deal with it’’ 

Laughing, I pulled him closer to me as we started to dance to the beat of the music which was playing, the club hot and sticky as our bodies moved together and I watched the coloring of Tommy’s eyes change darker slightly. Pulling him closer to me, I slowly trailed my arms up around his neck and tangled my fingers in to the hair on the back of his neck and tugged his head back slightly before I leaned down and crashed my lips against his.  
‘’Adam’’ Tommy whispered against my lips slightly before he pulled away again and turned around, his back pressing back against my chest as he grinded his ass in to my groin. Letting a small groan out, I breathed out slightly before I trailed kisses along his neck as we carried on moving to the music. Grinding against him slightly, I pressed my hands flat against his stomach, slipping one under his shirt before I slipped the other on to his hip and started hips to lightly suck a mark on to the skin of his neck as one of his arms came up to wrap around my own neck. ‘’Christ…’’ He moaned out slightly as I rolled my hips against him again.   
‘’You still feel so good against me’’ I whispered hotly in to his ear as his head came back to rest against my shoulder, his eyes closed, lashes dark against his cheeks. ‘’So beautiful too’’ I whispered as I flicked my tongue across the shell of his ear.

Feeling him turn back around again, I moved my hand up to his jaw and pulled his lips back against mine again, Tommy’s tongue moving out to part my lips as he took control over it, feeling him push me backwards, I pulled away and looked at him before I felt something behind me, glancing back, I noticed that he had found a wall to press me again before his lips found their way back to my neck and jaw again.   
‘’I love you’’ He whispered in to my ear as I grinned and turned back to look at him and smirked at him slightly as Tommy pulled himself closer, a nee of his moving between my thighs, hands gripping my shirt as our lips pressed back dirtily against each other’s again.

By the time we left the club, Tommy was staggering a little and giggling to himself as I wrapped my arm around his shoulder tightly to keep him up right and walking. The night air was cold and I had lost count of how many drinks we had shared together and what the time was before I hailed down a cab to take us back to his again.  
‘’I had fun’’ Tommy slurred out with a wide grin, his small frame shivering slightly before he turned closer to me and then climbed in tot eh cab once I had gotten one to stop and the door open.  
‘’Me too baby, but it’s time to go home now’’ I laughed out softly as I climbed in behind him and told the drive the address, quickly Tommy’s lips found my jaw and kissed along it before I pulled away and smirked down at him, leaning down I pecked his lips softly before sitting back with him tucked under my arm, half asleep.

‘’Baby, come on wake up, we are home.’’ I whispered to Tommy as I lightly shook his shoulder, ‘’Let’s get you inside and up to bed’’ Getting him out of the cab, I paid the driver and wrapped my arm back around his waist again and started to slowly walk our way back up to the front door where it suddenly opened and his Ma stood with a smile on her lips before she laughed softly.   
‘’I take it that you boys had a good night?’’ she asked and I nodded to her with a grin,   
‘’Yes we did ma’am, but I’m afraid I might of got Tommy a little two drunk’’ I told her and she shook her head before stepping out and moved to the other side of Tommy.  
‘’Oh its quite alright, he deserves a good night out.’’ She spoke out as Tommy turned and grinned.   
‘’Mama, oh I had such fun tonight’’ He cried out happily before he threw his arms around her neck and hugged her tightly. 

Shaking my head slightly I watched the two of them before I shook my head and took Tommy from her arms again and helped him back inside.   
‘’Is he always like this when he gets drunk?’’ I asked his Ma, once she had closed the door and locked it all up tightly.   
‘’Oh yes, he gets very giggly and childish hen drunk, but in all, it’s very funny to watch sometimes’’ She told me as Tommy started to laugh to himself and then turn in to my chest to try and hide them. Grinning to myself I started to walk him towards the stairs which was slowly walked up until we had reached his room and I leaned him against the wall, one hand against his chest as he giggled.  
‘’Come on baby, you have to be quiet or you’re going to wake Hamish up’’ I whispered to him as he grinned and nodded before raising his finger to his lips.   
‘’I’ll be quiet’’ He giggled out softly again as I opened the bedroom door and pulled him closer to me again, my arm around his waist again as I quietly walked him in to the room and over to his bed before sitting him down on it and knelt down to start undoing his boots.

Glancing over towards Hamish’s bed as he stirred, I paused slightly before turning back and finished helping Tommy to get undressed and under the covers of his bed before he grabbed my wrist and pulled me down.  
‘’Stay’’ He mumbled out slightly before turning, his hand still curled around my wrist as I let a soft laugh out and nodded slightly.  
‘’Okay baby, but you have to let me go so I can get undressed’’ I told him, feeling him let me go, I quickly kicked my boots off and pulled my shirt off before I undone my jeans and climbed out of them, folding my clothes up I pulled the covers back and slipped in to the bed beside Tommy.   
‘’You’re so warm’’ He mumbled out to me as he turned and curled in to my side tightly, my arm wrapped around his shoulders as I smiled and kissed the top of his head.   
‘’Goodnight Tommy’’’ I whispered to him lightly.


	10. When the past comes to haunt you

¤Sutan¤

‘’Oh my, they look so cute together, I just want to stalk them with photos and camera.’’ I whispered to Tommy’s Ma as we both stood in the doorway watching the two boys sleeping, Tommy’s head on his chest, a hand holding each others laid on Adam’s stomach, fingers entwined together as his other arm wrapped around Tommy tightly.  
‘’You should’ve seen then when they came home Sutan, I’ve haven’t seen Tommy so happy and carefree in a long time’’ Ma told me and I smiled softly, my hand laid over my heart slightly, ‘’He had that big smile on his face and he was giggling away like he would whenever he had too much to drink’’ She spoke out and I smiled before looking over towards Hamish who was still asleep in his own bed.   
‘’Mhmm’’ A mumble came from Tommy as he broke his hand free from Adams and turned to press his back against his side before Adam turned soon after him and wrapped his arms back around Tommy’s waist as he buried his face in to the side of his neck.   
‘’Adorable’’ I heard his Ma mumble to herself and I couldn’t help but smile and nod in agreement with her.

Chuckling softly to myself, I shook my head before I headed out the room with his Ma and walked back downstairs to the kitchen where I sat down at the table as she made some tea.   
‘’Im glad Adam’s family decided to move here, he has done wonders for Tommy so far and I like the effect its having on him.’’ Ma told me as she brought the drinks over and sat down herself.   
‘’I agree, I think Adam liked what he saw in Tommy the moment he first set eyes on the boy in the hallway in college, apparently Tommy was getting annoyed and a little freaked out because Adam kept watching him’’ I told her with a soft laugh, ‘’In all, I think it was cute, if he wasn’t so hung up on Tommy, I would be going after him myself’’ Ma laughed softly as I spoke, ‘’But it’s nice to see Tommy in love again, after Andie, I didn’t think he would ever let himself love another person’’ I told her and she gasped slightly, her hand covering her mouth slightly.  
‘’He loves Adam?’’ She asked and I nodded slightly before bringing my tea to my lips as I took a sip,   
‘’Indeed, that’s why he was pushing Adam away from him all the time, he didn’t want to fall for him, or let him know about Hamish in case he ran. But at least we know that he hasn’t run.’’ I spoke softly.   
‘’Does Adam know?’’ She asked and I shook my head with a small sigh,  
‘’No I don’t think so, I think that Tommy is still too scared to tell him that, even know he knows that Adam wont leave him and Hamish, I think he just wants to make sure fully. ‘’ I told her before she shook her head.   
‘’That boy of mine can be really stupid sometimes’’ She chuckled before finishing her tea off, ‘’another cup?’’ She asked and I grinned slightly.   
‘’Go ahead momma Dia’’ I laughed out.

¤¤¤¤

‘’Mhmm, stop it babe’’ I mumbled out slightly, a mall smile falling over the corners of my lips as I felt the same tickling feeling on my neck before the curl of smile against my skin and the tighten of arm around my waist as Adam pulled me further back in to his chest and I breathed out lightly.  
‘’You’re cute when you’re till half asleep’’ Adam mumbled out quietly in to my skin before lightly kissing it and I grinned to myself before groaning slightly as the dull thud in the back of my mind started to slowly grow. ‘’Told you not to have those last two drinks’’ Adam whispered to me before I moved my elbow back and hit him in the ribs before I turned as he gasped out.   
‘’Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you’’ I quickly spoke out to him with worry as he laughed softy and pulled me closer again.   
‘’Tommy, don’t worry baby, im fine okay’’ He whispered to me as a hand came up to touch against my jaw. Nodding to him, I let a soft smile play on my lip as he moved his hand back down around my waist again and pulled me closer against him before he rolled us over and hovered over me. ‘’God, your so beautiful Tommy’’ He whispered to me as he moved and settled down over my hips, hands touching lightly against my chest. ‘’Im sorry for being such a jerk to you in the beginning’’ Adam told me quietly as I smiled and shook my head slightly.   
‘’I gave you reason, and we’ve already spoken about this Adam, that’s in the past, forget about it now’’ I whispered back to him, my own hands moving up to touch against his chest as he smiled.   
‘’You are wonderful’’ He whispered and I bit my lip slightly before he leaned down and pressed his lips against mine.

Running my hands up his body slowly, I wrapped them around hi waist as Adam shifted and moved one of his knees and pushed it between my thighs, moving with him I pulled Adam down closer to my body as he pulled his lips away and started too kiss down my jaw to my neck.   
‘’Adam…stop….Hamish is asleep’’ I breathed out slightly as he nipped at my neck before pulling away, looking up at him, I watched as he turned to look towards the other side of the before turning back.   
‘’He’s not in bed’’ He whispered to me and I moved slightly to look over before letting a quiet laugh out and laid back again as I moved my arms up above my head on the pillow as I closed my eyes. ‘’I mean it Tommy’’ Adam whispered to me as his hands touched over my skin, ‘’You are so beautiful’’ He whispered in to my ear, breath hot against my skin as I breathed out and arched my body up to touch against his. Letting my eyes open, I turned my head slightly to look at the blue eyes I had come to love so much, the way Adam’s lips curled gently at the corners as he smiled and just the way he was around Hamish. Breathing out softly, I lifted my head and pressed my lip back against his gently as his hands slid up my arm before his fingers pressed between mine. Letting my lips part at the touch of his tongue, he pressed down against me as he deepened the kiss-  
‘’Adam’’ I whispered against his lips before his hands let mine go and moved back down my arms again before his fingers trailed down torso before pressing against my hips as he pulled away and started to kiss down on to my neck again before his lips slowly traced along my shoulder. Curling my leg around his thigh, I tried to arch up against his holder before a slight gasp left my lips as he rocked his hips down against me slowly. 

Tilting my head back slightly, I bit down on my bottom lip to stop the groan which was threaten to escape my throat as Adam kissed his way down the middle off my chest, his thumbs rubbing circles in to my skin where he was holding my hips down. Swallowing slightly I leaned up on my elbows slightly before I reached forward and ran my fingers through his hair lightly, tugging slightly as his lips ghosted over my stomach, warm breath hitting soft skin causing it to tickle slightly before he lightly sucked over it.   
‘’Christ Adam stop being a tease’’ I gritted out to him as I moved and laid back again, my hand still tangled in his hair as I felt him smirk against my stomach.   
‘’Pushy bottom’’ He murmured out against my skin and I chuckled softly before letting a small laugh out as he nipped at my skin.   
‘’Stop biting me’’ I grinned out to him before his fingers slipped down off my hips and hooked in to the top of the boxers I was wearing before he moved back up over me with a small smirk.   
‘’Why, I thought you liked being bit’’ He whispered and I blushed slightly, aching up in to his touch as his hand slipped in under the fabric, fingers wrapping around me lightly.   
‘’Never said anything’’ I gritted out to him as he chuckled and nodded a little, ‘’It just tickles there’’ I told him as he pressed a kiss to the edge of my jaw and kissed back down my body again as he moved his hand away and pushed my boxers down a little to expose some more skin which he slowly kissed over before nipping it lightly again.   
‘’Ahhhhh…Uncle Sutan! Grandma! Adam is trying to eat daddy alive’’ Both Adam and I jumped as Hamish’s little voice yelled out and I turned my head quickly to look towards the door as his footsteps ran out before I turned to look down at Adam, who’s eyes was glued to the door aswell.

‘’Fuck, fuck, shit’’ I quickly muttered out as Adam backed off and I pulled my boxers up further and climbed out of bed quickly and grabbed a pair of sweat pants. I could feel my cheeks burning up before Adam’s arms came around me and brought me to a stand still.   
‘’Calm down Tommy’’ He breathed out and I turned and stared at him wide eyed before I shook my head slightly.   
‘’How can you tell me to calm down, my son just walked in on us, a few seconds later he would’ve walked in on you giving me a blow job and you tell me to calm down’’ I yelped out to him as the sound of crying came up and I turned towards the door before swallowing slightly, ‘’Great, Hamish now thinks that you are eating me’’ I groaned out before hitting my forehead down against Adam’s chest as his hands rubbed my back in a soothing manner.  
‘’It will be okay’’ He whispered to me before he pulled away and grabbed his jeans and tugged them on before picking his top up and doing the same. Taking a deep breath I ran my hand through my hair before grabbing a hoody and tugged it on and turned towards the door where I felt Adam’s hand slip in to mine. ‘’Let’s go explain things to the family I guess’’ He chuckled and I swallowed a little before we walked out and headed downstairs to where I could still hear Hamish crying in the kitchen.   
Stepping inside, I blushed deeply as Ma and Sutan both turned to look towards us, letting Adam’s hand go, I walked over to where Sutan was sat with Hamish in his lap and crouched down.  
‘’Hey baby, im okay see…’’ I whispered to him as he wiped his eyes and turned to look at me slightly before his arms flew around my neck and hugged me tightly.  
‘’Try locking doors next time darling’s’’ Sutan spoke out and I looked up at him, my blush growing even more as I stood and held Hamish close to me.   
‘’Im going to go explain…things…kinder’’ I mumbled out.

 

Watching Tommy walk outside and in to the garden, I fiddled with the bottom of my shirt slightly as I watched him sit down in the middle of the grass with Hamish still curled up in his lap.   
‘’Don’t worry dear, it was bound to happen one day’’ Dia spoke out and I turned to look at her with my own blush before she motioned for me to sit down at the table, swallowing slightly as I sat, I glanced out the window again before I felt Sutan’s hand cover mine in a soft pat.  
‘’Ma’s right Adam, this isn’t the first time Tommy has had to explain something to Hamish, he’s been walked in on during his ‘Tommy time’ before by all three of us, and trust me, I don’t think he has ever been more embarrassed’’ He told me and I nodded a little before accepting the cup of tea from his Ma.  
‘’I feel pretty embarrassed myself for Hamish walking in on us, I should’ve known better really.’’ I told them as they both smiled and shook their heads slightly.   
‘’Adam dear, its okay’’ Dia started to say, ‘’Hamish will forget all about it by lunch time’’ She told me and I nodded before staring down in to my cup, I raised it to my lips before I glanced back out towards my two boys as they sat together, Tommy’s fingers running though Hamish’s hair softly as he rubbed at his eyes, ‘’Why don’t you go out there with them’’ Dia spoke and I turned to look at her before she nodded towards the door.  
‘’Do you think I should?’’ I asked her and she laughed softly before nodding.   
‘’Go dear, I don’t think Tommy will mind’’ she told me before I smiled at her, standing up from the table, I walked over and paused slightly before I turned the handle and pushed the door open before stepping outside.

Walking across, I smiled back at Tommy as he turned to look at me, at the same time Hamish climbed off his lap before running over to me, crouching down slightly, I watched as he put his hand on his hip and pointed the other at me, ‘’Daddy told me that when people like each other lots and lots and that when they are grown up like you and daddy are that they cuddle and kiss and do other things which daddy says im not allowed to know until im older…but please don’t eat my daddy Adam’’ He spoke before ending with a pout and I couldn’t help but chuckle softly and nodded softly.  
‘’I promise squirt’’ I told him before he beamed and moved his hand down and wrapped his arms around my neck in a tight hug, hugging him back, I picked him up before he pulled away a little and I lifted him up before pretending to drop him, a high laugh leaving his mouth before I placed him down again and he went running back over to Tommy who was smiling towards us.

‘’Your mom said that you wouldn’t mind me coming out’’ I told him quietly and he shook his head before holding his hand out, walking closer, I took it and moved to sit down beside him and kissed his shoulder lightly.   
‘’I don’t mind’’ He told me before leaning in to my body more as Hamish ran around us. Wrapping my arm around his waist, I rested my other hand back in the grass and laughed slightly as Hamish tried walking slowly and quietly towards a bird which had landed near his playset before it flew off and he stomped his foot slightly.  
‘’Daddy the bird flew away from me’’ He called out before crossing his arms over his chest and came stomping over to us and sat down in the grass.   
‘’Not much I can do about that buddy, they are wild animals and a lot small than you are’’ Tommy told him before Hamish shrugged and quickly crawled over to sit on top of my legs.   
‘’Are you going to marry my daddy Adam?’’ Hamish suddenly asked after watching us quietly for a few minutes and I looked at him before at Tommy who was staring at him wide eyed. ‘’Because Granma married Granddaddy even though he went to a better place when I was a baby’’ He continued. Smiling softly I watched him before I reached forward and playfully pulled him closer to us.   
‘’Do you want me too marry your daddy?’’ I asked him and I felt Tommy’s playful shove, looking up at him, I could see a faint blush on his cheeks and I smiled at him before turning back to look at Hamish who nodded quickly. ‘’And why’s that?’’ I asked and he shrugged a little.   
‘’You make daddy smile and I like it when daddy smiles because he looks like granddaddy in the photos in the living room’’ Hamish spoke out and I smiled at him before I ran my fingers through his hair.   
‘’I like it when daddy smiles too, but maybe one day baby, you never know what may happen in life’’ I told him softly as he nodded. ‘’And of course if I ever did marry your daddy, I would want you to be my best man’’ I winked and he grinned brightly.   
‘’Oh wow’’ Hamish grinned out and I laughed slightly, ‘’Wait right here, you and daddy are the kings of the house and I need to find your crowns’’ He suddenly spoke out before he scurried off my legs and ran back towards the house again, shaking my head slightly with a grin, I turned back to look at Tommy before I noticed the tears in his eyes and I sat up slightly before facing him more.   
‘’Baby what’s wrong?’’ I asked softly as he sniffed slightly and reached up to rub at his eyes.   
‘’Nothing’’ He laughed out, ‘’I get like this quite often when my dad’s mentioned and hearing Hamish say that I look like him when I smile just brought back memories’’ He told me and I reached up to run my thumbs under his eyes with a soft smile.   
‘’You miss him?’’ I asked and he nodded as a few more tears filled his eyes before he moved and climbed in to my lap, wrapping my arms around him tightly, I kissed the top of his head and let my eyes close slightly.   
‘’I miss him so much, he always had something good to say about something or someone, Christ, he would probably be telling me to man up right now if he was here’’ He laughed out as he sniffed again and I grinned before I opened my eyes to look at him.  
‘’He sounds like he was an amazing person’’ I whispered and Tommy smiled before nodding,   
‘’He was’’ He whispered with a smile as he pulled his sleeves over his hands and cleared his eyes again.   
‘’I said that I wanted to take you out this weekend and it’s a Saturday, So im gunna take you boys out,’’ I told him and Tommy chuckled softly as he leaned in to my chest, fingers trailing over my arm softly.   
‘’Just nothing expensive, I don’t want you wasting your money on us’’ Tommy told me and I laughed lightly before kissing the top of his head gently.   
‘’Baby, you and Hamish are worth all the money in the world’’ I told him as he blushed softly and turned to look at me slightly. ‘’And I’ll take you to go visit your dad whenever you want to go.’’ I told him softly and he stared at me, his eyes full of warmth before he nodded slowly and looked down before back up to me again with a smile.  
‘’I would like that a lot, I haven’t taken Hamish to see him in a long time’’ He told me and I smiled before hugging him tightly again.

‘’Hamish are you ready yet?’’ I called up the stairs before I heard a crash and a small scream, swallowing slightly I turned and ran up the stairs, footsteps following behind me as I rushed in to the bedroom to see Hamish stood in the middle of the room with a toy wand in his hand. ‘’Baby…’’ I breathed out slightly as I walked closer and fell to my knees, my hands moving to his arm as I gently turned him around, his eyes wide and watery. Looking around the room, I noticed there were a few things thrown about, ‘’Hamish, what’s wrong?’’ I asked him as he sniffed slightly I turned to look towards the others as they stood in the doorway.   
‘’I got scared’’ He whimpered out slightly as I turned back and smiled softly to him  
‘’what scared you baby?’’ I asked as I moved and sat down fully before moving him in to my lap before he pointed towards the corner with his little wand which I stared at confused slightly. ‘’Where did the wand come from’’ I asked and he looked at me before grinning and turned to stare at Sutan who shrugged innocently.   
‘’Uncle Sutan told me that it’s magical and that it would help look after me’’ Hamish grinned out before I closed my eyes and grinned a little as I rested my head against his shoulder.   
‘’So why did you scream ad what was the crash?’’ I asked him as I breathed out and turned to look at him again.   
‘’Oh that, I knocked the books of the shelf and there was a spider’’ He told me before climbing back on to his feet and pulled on my hands.   
‘’A spider, is that all, hell Hamish you had me worried something bad had happened to you again’’ I told him as I stood and he looked down slightly, shaking my head I picked him up and hugged him close.   
‘’Are you mad at me daddy?’’ Hamish asked in a soft voice and I looked at him before shaking my head.   
‘’God no baby, im not mad at you, I was worried about you so much’’ I whispered to him as he buried his face in to my neck, hugging him tightly, I breathed out a little and went to move before I felt an arm come around my waist, looking up at Adam, I smiled at him softly as he curled us in to his chest and wrapped his other arm around Hamish.   
‘’Hey buddy’’ He whispered before Hamish moved slightly to see who was speaking before his arms shot out and wrapped around Adam’s neck. ‘’Hey…come on, daddy isn’t mad squirt’’ Adam whispered as he took him off me and I ran my hand through my hair slightly before moving to pick the books up. ‘’He just didn’t want to see you hurt again like when you fell off your bed and Granma had to take you to the hospital’’ I heard Adam tell him before I stood up on the bed and went to put the books back. 

‘’Fuck’’ I groaned out as I felt the corner of my shoulder, catch the shelf before giggling behind me made me turn and look towards Adam and Hamish who was sat on my bed.   
‘’Daddy…’’ Hamish laughed in a knowing tone, out as I got of his bed rubbing my shoulder,   
‘’I know, I know I owe you a dollar’’ I told him as he nodded and turned to Adam.   
‘’You have to owe me too’’ He told him and I couldn’t help but smirk slightly at Adam’s confused face.   
‘’Owe you what?’’ He asked and Hamish grinned brightly.   
‘’You have to make daddy feel better and make him smile, he got hurt’’ Hamish spoke out before turning to look at me, pulling a sad face quickly, I pouted towards them both as Adam grinned and whispered in to his ear, watching as Hamish nodded, I frowned slightly before they both stood and started to walk closer to me.  
‘’Guy’s what are you doing?’’ I asked as I stood and darted around them as they moved closer to me again, the looks on their faces told me that they were up to no good, grinning slightly as I held my hands up to them.  
‘’Daddy we only want to give you a cuddle’’ Hamish laughed out to me before I shook my head and laughed,   
‘’you’re up to no good, what did Adam ask you Hamish?’’ I asked him and he paused to look at Adam and then back to me again,   
‘’Im not allowed to lie to daddy Adam’’ He told him as he smiled and nodded to him.   
‘’Its fine, tell him squirt’’ Adam laughed out before he moved around to the side of me.   
‘’Okay’’ He laughed out, ‘’Adam asked me if you were ticklish’’ Hamish grinned out and I swallowed a little and looked between them before shaking my head slightly.   
‘’Don’t even think about it’’ I told them as I looked between them both, watching them both walk back towards me again, stepping back, I felt my back come in to contact with the wall before I turned to look at it before back to them again as they stepped in front of me. ‘’Please’’ I whispered with a slight laugh, ‘’Come on baby, don’t do this to daddy’’ I spoke out to Hamish before I felt arms wrap around me, struggling slightly, I laughed before I felt Adam’s arm’s tighten around my waist again and pick me up.   
‘’Daddy’s going to be tickled’’ Hamish laughed out brightly as I got carried over to the middle of the room of the room, soon enough I felt Hamish’s hands trying to tickle me the best he could, laughing, I struggled against Adams hold again, his breath warm on my neck as he laughed and lightly kissed my skin.  
‘’Okay, okay stop I give up’’ I breathed out, my hands grasping at Adam’s arms as Hamish moved away with a smile on his face, breathing out deeply I leaned back in to Adams chest as he chuckled again.  
‘’So can I take my boys out now?’’ He whispered in to my ear and I grinned softly before nodding.

 

‘’Are we there yet?’’ Hamish called out and I glanced over my shoulder to look towards him before back to the road again.   
‘’Not yet buddy, just got to make one stop’’ I told him before I felt Tommy’s hand on my knee softly.   
‘’Where are we going anyway Adam’’ Tommy asked and I grinned slightly before glancing over at him.   
‘’Just wait and see, but I hope you don’t mind my sister coming along, I haven’t been spending much time with her lately’’ I told him before he chuckled softly.   
‘’No I don’t mind, it’s your sister Adam, you’re the one taking us out so it’s up to you’’ He told me and I smiled at him before moving my hand down over his as I pulled up outside my house.  
‘’Wont be a moment’’ I told Tommy softly as I leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek before quickly climbing out the car and headed up the garden to the house.

‘’Adam is that you?’’ A voice called out as I headed in side and kicked my shoes off in the hallway before walking along the hallway towards the living room.  
‘’Yeah mom its me’’ I told her as I walked in and she looked up from the tv and Jane looked up from where she was laid on the floor reading before she grinned and jumped up to run over and hug me.   
‘’Where have you been, I know I said that you can stay out when ever you want, but I still want to hear from you at some point’’ Mom told me and I nodded to her as I hugged Jane back.  
‘’Yeah sorry mom, I will remember next time’’ I told her with a smile, ‘’Anyway, only popped home to see if Jane wanted to go out somewhere with me.’’ I spoke before she smiled and nodded,   
‘’Really Adam, mom can I?’’ Jane asked before my mom laughed and nodded which sent Jane running over to her hugging her tightly. ‘’Thank you’’ she grinned out before running out the room.   
‘’Say here Adam, who is that boy stood against your car?’’ Dad’s voice asked as he walked in to the room a few minutes later and I turned to look at him before he looked towards my mom who turned to look at us, grinning slightly I shook my head before I heard Jane come running back down.  
‘’See you later’’ I grinned out before I quickly escaped the room and headed out in to the hallway where I slipped my feet back in to my shoes and grabbed a jacket for Jane who was waiting by the door. Smiling at her, I pulled it open and watched as she ran out and down towards the car before stopping as she saw Tommy stood against the driver’s door.

‘’Jane, do you remember back a couple of months when we went to the park and you played with that little boy?’’ I asked her as I came up beside them and she nodded to me, ‘’Well he is coming along with us and this is…’’ I trailed of slightly before glancing towards Tommy as he nodded. ‘’This is Tommy, his daddy’’ I told her before she smiled at him. ‘’Go on, get in and we can head off’’ I told her before she nodded and climbed in to the back of the car. Shutting the door behind her I turned back to Tommy and smiled at him,   
‘’so I get to meet the lady who has your heart aswell’’ Tommy grinned out and I chuckled softly as I stepped closer to him and wrapped my arms around his waist.   
‘’My one and only love for a female apart from my mother and best friend’’ I told him as his hands wound their way around the labels of my jacket, a smile over his face. Hearing a knock on the window, I looked towards Jane who was making faces at us and I laughed before leaning forward and stuck my tongue back out at her before turning back to Tommy and pecked his lips quickly before I nodded back to the passengers side again. Watching him walk around, I pulled the car door open before getting in myself.  
Pulling away from the house and street, the car fell in to a soft silence before I opened my window and leaned my elbow on it slightly as I drove.  
‘’Addy can we buy ice cream where we are going?’’ I heard Jane ask and I glanced in the mirror back at her with a smile,   
‘’Sure thing’’ I told her as she turned and started to talk to Hamish about different flavors, shaking my head slightly I glanced over at Tommy who was watching them before he turned to smile at me.

It wasn’t long before I pulled in to the carpark of the zoo and drove around looking for a space that Hamish and Jane noticed where we were and Tommy turned to look out the window, grinning slightly as I found a place and pulled up, I laughed as Jane climbed out the car quickly followed by Tommy, getting out, I closed my doo before opening Hamish’s and undone the straps of his seat and lifted him up before locking the car up tight.  
Once paid and inside the zoo grounds, I put Hamish down and watched as he ran ahead with Jane before I walked closer to Tommy and slipped my little finger around his, swinging our arms a little I looked over at him with a smile which he returned before looking back towards the other two.  
‘’Not too far Hamish’’ He called over to him before he stopped and looked back with a smile.   
‘’I wont daddy, I promise’’ He told Tommy and I couldn’t help but smile at the two of them or feel how lucky I was to finally be close to Tommy, it had taken a long time to get him to open up and to stop pushing me away but we had finally gotten there and I couldn’t of been any more happy about it.   
‘’Adam’’ I turned slightly as Tommy spoke before nodding ahead of us, turning I let a small laugh out as I saw Jane holding Hamish’s hand and pointing things out to him, the smile on his face was massive as I turned back to smile at Tommy again,   
‘’Im glad they get along so well together’’ I told him as he nodded with a smile.

 

‘’Daddy…daddy look at the colors’’ Hamish cried out as he came running over to me and tugged on my hand, laughing I picked him up before I looked to where he was pointing too. ‘’Jane says that they are called peacocks’’ He told me as I grinned.   
‘’Shes right baby’’ I smiled at him as he laughed and wiggled out my hold again to go running back over to where Adam’s sister was stood.  
‘’Thank you for bringing us here Adam, it means a lot’’ I told him softly as his arm moved, wrapping around my shoulders and I leaned in to him.   
‘’Baby its fine, I told you that I was going to take my boys out and that’s what im doing.’’ He told me and I grinned before leaning up to kiss his cheek.   
‘’I like it when you do that’’ I whispered and he looked at me confused slightly.   
‘’Do what?’’ He asked and I laughed, my head leaning against his shoulder as I watched Hamish and Jane.   
‘’Call us your boys, it makes me know that you aren’t going to just up and leave when you get bored of us’’ I told him quietly before his arms wrapped around me tighter and I felt him kiss the top of my head.   
‘’Im here to stay Tommy, it took me a long time to get here and im not going to let you go that easily’’ He whispered before I felt his fingers stroke over my arm.  
‘’Addy can we go see the monkey’s?’’ Jane called out before I felt him nod and let me go.   
‘’you mean, that me and Tommy haven’t been watching two monkeys already?’’ He asked before scooping Hamish up as he ran past, his laughter ringing out along with Jane’s as she shook her head and he placed him down again. Laughing myself, I moved my fingers through Adam’s again as we started to walk behind them. 

For once I wasn’t afraid of the looks or comments which could’ve been made towards us because we were two males holding hands, or because they heard Hamish call me daddy. I was happy again, something I didn’t think I would find in someone else other than Hamish and my family. It felt like I finally belonged in the same world and that all the bad things which had happened in the past was no longer going to hurt me or make life harder than it was at the start when I had first met Hamish.

‘’Tommy, you okay baby’’ Adam’s voice came through my thoughts and I turned slightly to look at him before I laughed and nodded,  
‘’Yeah, sorry just lost in my own mind’’ I told him as he smiled, his blue eyes bright in the sunlight as he leaned down and pressed his lips against mine softly.  
‘’Ewww…Adam you’re gross’’ Pulling away, I laughed softly at Jane’s words before I watched Adam as he stalked towards her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders before pressing a loud kiss against her cheek. ‘’Ahh get off me smelly’’ She laughed out before pushing him away, a smile on his lips as he stuck his tongue out.   
‘’Not a nice way to talk to your brother’’ He teased and she laughed brightly before running off to one of the large cages, watching him turn before frowning, I tilted my head slightly before Adam nodded and I followed it to see Hamish stood watching us.  
‘’What’s wrong buddy?’’ I asked him as I turned and moved so I was eye level with him.   
‘’Will you and Adam have a baby’’ He asked and I choked slightly before looking up at Adam, confused to why he asked, a blank expression on Adams face before he walked over and picked Hamish up and I stood.  
‘’Why’d you ask’’ Adam asked and Hamish shrugged slightly before biting on his bottom lip.   
‘’Just you and Jane are brother and sister and I wanted to know if I would have to share my toys if you made a baby so I had a brother or sister to play with’’ Hamish told us before Adam’s eyes flicked over to me and I swallowed a little before rubbing the back of my neck.  
‘’Hamish, um…’’ I started to speak before I trailed of, not really knowing what to say, ‘’Oh wow…never thought I would have to talk about this when he was 4, thought I had a few more years first’’ I muttered to myself before I turned back to Hamish and Adam. ‘’Baby…it would be hard for me and Adam to make a baby you see…’’  
‘’Maybe one day Hamish, you might have a little brother or sister one day, just keep wishing on the stars’’ Adam told him, a small sigh of relief washing over me as he nodded and Adam put him down again so he could run off to where Jane was.  
‘’Thank you’’ I whispered to Adam as he laughed softly and pulled me in to a hug,   
‘’It’s fine baby, but I mean it, maybe one day we could get a little baby brother or sister for him to play with, of course he’s always going to have Jane to play with if he wanted too’’ Adam told me and I looked up at him with a small blush.   
‘’You think about us in the future?’’ I asked and he nodding before running his fingers through my hair.   
‘’I told you, im not going to go anywhere Tommy, im in this relationship for life’’ He told me as I smiled and nodded to him. ‘’Come on, lets go watch the animals’’ I laughed slightly before letting Adam drag me over to where the other two was stood laughing at some of the monkeys.

‘’Who’s up for ice cream’’ Adam asked and I watched as they both turned around and grinned at him, letting his hand go, I watched them walk off before I turned back to stare at the animals. Shaking my head away, I turned and started to walk after the three of them, smiling a little as Adam chased Hamish before catching him and throwing him over his shoulder, his laughter audible from where I was walking.  
Running my fingers through my hair, I yawned slightly before I felt someone knock in to me, frowning I looked over my shoulder before freezing slightly as Gus smirked at me before carrying on walking.   
‘’Tommy’’ I jumped and turned around to look at Adam, who’s face was full of concern before I smiled, ‘’you okay?’’ He asked and I nodded.   
‘’Just fine, it was Gus that’s all but he was heading in the other direction’’ I told him, watching as his face hardened slightly I moved my hands up and pressed them gently against his chest. ‘’Babe, forget about him’’ I whispered as Adam’s eyes lowered to mine before he sighed and dipped down to steal a quick kiss.   
‘’Fine, but only because you asked me too and because Jane and Hamish are with us’’ He told me quietly as I smiled and playfully pushed him back towards the vending people and the small café. ‘’But lets go get the animals fed before they eat us’’ He laughed and I shook my head slightly as we turned and walked over to where they were both sat at a table.

‘’Daddy, you’re slow today’’ Hamish called out to me and I chuckled softly as I slipped down to sit at the table with them before Adam walked over to the venders to buy some ice cream.   
‘’Daddy’s just tired today, that’s all baby’’ I told him as he smiled brightly at me before he turned back to Jane and started to talk about something completely different again. Shaking my head clear, I leaned on the table and glanced around the small food court before back again as Adam returned and placed an ice cream down in front of both of them, feeling him kiss the top of my head, I smiled as he sat down and wrapped his arm around my waist and I leaned in to him.   
‘’Do you want anything to eat?’’ He asked me before I shook my head,   
‘’Nah, im fine Adam, ‘’ I told him before he nodded and we fell in to a soft talk about some of the college work we had to do still before the end of term.

Feeling Adam’s fingers stroke over my arm, I moved slightly before looking up at him to see him smiling at me.   
‘’What happened…’’ I asked as I sat up a little and glanced around,   
‘’you fell asleep baby, Jane took Hamish to go play in the little playground over there’’ Adam told me as he pointed somewhere and I nodded a little before rubbing my hand over my face.   
‘’You should’ve woken me up, how long was I asleep for?’’ I asked as I turned to look back at him.   
‘’About half an hour and I didn’t want to disturb you…stay here and I will go get you a cup of coffee’’ He told me before kissing the top of my head as I nodded a little and turned to look across the court to where Hamish and Jane was playing together on the climbing frame.  
‘’I really did drink way too much last night’’ I muttered out as Adam came back and pressed a cup in to my hands,   
‘’you had a night out Tommy’’ Adam chuckled before sitting down beside me again. ‘’Your ma told you to have a good time and you did’’ He whispered in to my ear as his arms wrapped around me and I nodded a little before taking a sip of coffee and leaned back against him.   
‘’I guess I should say thank you for looking after me too last night’’ I chuckled out softly as I looked up at him and his fingers moved through my hair. ‘’you like doing that’’ I mumbled out and Adam smiled at me.   
‘’I can stop doing it if you want me too’’ He told me and I shook my head softly.   
‘’No don’t, I like the feeling, its soothing’’ I whispered to him before Adam smile and leaned down and kissed my forehead.   
‘’Come on, lets go get the trouble makers and take them around the rest of the zoo before getting you home and back in to bed to sleep again’’ He told me and I smiled softly before sitting up and then standing, coffee in hand as Adam followed and we walked towards the small playground.  
‘’Hamish…Jane’’ I called out and they both turned with a smile before running over to me and Adam.   
‘’Are you ill Tommy?’’ Jane asked and I smiled at her before shaking my head no,   
‘’Just tired sweet, nothing to worry about okay’’ I told her as she nodded with a smile before she took Hamish’s hand again. ‘’Now, what animals are we going to go see now?’’ I asked before taking Adam’s hand again and started to follow their lead.

‘’So what are you scared of the most in life’’ Adam asked me softly as we walked and I glanced up at him before back to Hamish.   
‘’Loosing Hamish’’ I told him quietly, ‘’Before all I ever cared for was my music and playing, but then everything changed and he’s my life now, I would even give up playing the guitar if it meant protecting that boy from harm.’’ I told him as he smiled at me and hugged his arm around my shoulders. ‘’What about you’’ I asked him and he chuckled softly, fingers stroking along the strip of skin on my neck.   
‘’I would say loosing you but I know that wont ever happen because I wont let it, so I guess something happening to Jane or Neil’’ He shrugged out and I frowned slightly before looking at him.  
‘’Who’s Neil?’’ I asked him as we rounded a corner and paused as Hamish leaned against a railing to look over with Jane’s help.   
‘’Neil’s my younger brother, he stayed back home with our grandparents because he was tired of moving all the time’’ He told me and I nodded a little with a smile.   
‘’I learn something new about you everyday’’ I grinned out at him before we started walking again.   
‘’Behave and you can learn more stuff’’ Adam whispered in to my ear in a husky voice and I laughed slightly before blushing, shaking my head, I pushed him away from me playfully before I finished my coffee and threw the cup in to an empty bin. 

Watching Adam walk on slightly again, I jogged to catch up a little before flicking his ear, a laugh escaping my lips as I winked at him and carried on walking, stepping up behind Hamish, I ruffled my fingers through his hair before he laughed and held his arms up to me.   
‘’God you are getting so heavy’’ I joked out to him as I picked him up and his arms wrapped around my neck, ‘’I think maybe we should stop feeding you the taco’s kiddo’’ I grinned out as he gasped before pouted.   
‘’No don’t stop feeding me them, I love taco’s’’ He whined out and I laughed,   
‘’So much like you Tommy…so much like you’’ I heard Adam say before I glanced over at him and turned back to Hamish as we started walking again.   
‘’Can we go see the lions?’’ Jane asked as she walked over and I looked over at Adam who shrugged.   
‘’What about you buddy, wanna go see the lions?’’ I asked Hamish as he grinned and nodded to me. ‘’Lets go see the lions then, just as long as you promise not to feed me to them’’ I spoke out to the three of them,  
‘’Oh I promise not too Tommy’’ Jane quickly told me before moving to walk next to her brother as he grinned.

‘’You still around him then I see Adam’’ A voice ran out and I sighed a little knowing that it was Gus,   
‘’Please don’t start anything today alright, and not here of all places Gus, have some heart’’ Adam spoke back as I kept walking a little.   
‘’Should’ve known that you and Ratliff had something going on’’ He laughed out before a female voice muttered out slightly.   
‘’Tommy’’ The girls voice said a little louder and I froze a little before I turned and looked back, my arms tightening around Hamish. ‘’You…wow…it’s been…’’ She started saying before trailing off.   
‘’Four years and 6 months’’ I finished off as I stepped a little closer to them and more towards Adam.   
‘’You know this loser Andie?’’ Gus asked and she looked at him before back at me again before her eyes slowly turned to look at Hamish who had his head resting against my shoulder.  
‘’Yeah, we knew each other back when we were 15’’ She told him before stepping forward slightly. ‘’Can I?’’ She asked and I shook my head slightly. ‘’Why not Tommy’’ She asked and I couldn’t help but laugh slightly.   
‘’Your asking why not?’’ I asked, ‘’Really Andie after all these years’’ I spoke out and she breathed deeply a little before Gus walked closer and wrapped his arm around her waist.   
‘’Who’s that daddy?’’ Hamish asked softly as he looked up from where he had his resting, Gus’s eyes widening slightly as he looked between us and I looked down at him,   
‘’No one important baby’’ I told him before kissing the side of his head and turned to Adam. ‘’Can you take him please’’ I whispered and Adam stared at me before back to the other two before nodding.   
‘’Sure baby’’ He told me before reaching out for Hamish, ‘’Come on kiddo we got some lions to see’’ He told him as Hamish moved and quickly wrapped his arms around Adams neck with a large smile. ‘’You going to be okay’’ Adam whispered and I nodded to him softly before I leaned up and pecked his lips.   
‘’I will be fine’’ I whispered as he nodded and casted one last glance towards Andie and Gus before he walked away.

‘’You have a kid’’ Gus laughed out before Andie pushed his arm away, her eyes never leaving me.   
‘’I have a right Tommy’’ She told me and I laughed slightly before stepping closer.   
‘’No, you had a right once, but you gave that up four years ago Andie when we were 16 if you remember’’ I told her. ‘’But you have no right now to anything.’’  
‘’But he’s our son too Tommy’’ She fought back, out the corner of my eye I saw Gus choke slightly before looking between us.   
‘’No, Hamish is my son, not yours, not ours but mine and im pretty sure Adam is going to be classing him as his aswell soon’’ I spat back at her before Gus moved.  
‘’Wait…you had a kid together’’ He asked as he looked between us before his eyes laid on me and I laughed slightly.   
‘’Oh Andie never told you’’ I laughed out again, ‘’Yeah, Andie was my girlfriend when we were 15, oh wanted a kid so badly but I didn’t, I used protection but someone decided that wasn’t what she wanted so she used a pin to break the protection one night and bang 9 months later we had a son.’’ I told him in a lower voice as a few people past us and he looked at her, Andie’s face a little red as she looked around. ‘’From the moment he was born, I wasn’t allowed to see him because apparently she told her parents that I forced her in to having unprotected sex but then 18 months later she decides that she doesn’t want to be a mom anymore and turns up on my doorstep with him, I was in school still but Ma was home luckily and he’s been with me ever since’’ I spoke out, angry building up inside of me slightly as Gus ran his hand through his hair.   
‘’Wow’’ He muttered and I could see tears forming in Andie’s eyes.   
‘’Please Tommy…’’ She whispered and I shook my head.   
‘’No, I had to give everything I loved up, I lost all my friends, hell even Gus started bulling me because I started to concentrate on my school work because I knew that I would have to get a good job to be able to bring a kid up Andie, every single day for the past four years I’ve done nothing but work my ass off to look after my son, I’ve refused to let anyone get close to me let alone know that I have a kid. Fuck…’’ I groaned out as I took a deep breath and took a few steps away before I turned back again, tears in my own eyes as I looked towards her. ‘’Do you know how hard it was to tell my parents that their own baby was having a kid, do you know how I felt having to admit that not only to them but to myself, 9 months I cried myself to sleep because I felt like I had failed everyone and then you went and stopped me from seeing him when he was born, made me miss out on 18 months of his life, his first words, first steps I fucking missed all of that Andie because of you’’ I cried out to her, her own hands moving up to wipe at her eyes.  
‘’Im sorry okay Tommy, I made a mistake, I was 16 years old and scared, I thought I was ready to have a kid but I was wrong but the worst thing I ever did was to leave both of your lives and I want to make that right now, I want to be there for you, for Hamish’’ She tried saying and I shook my head.   
‘’No Andie, it’s too late for sorry’s and regret now. I have Adam in my life and I love him to hell and back, and he loves Hamish and treats him like he was his own son. Hamish doesn’t even know who you are and he has never once asked about his mam, he’s not about to start now. I don’t want you in our lives, just stay away from me and from my son.’’ I told her firmly.   
‘’Tommy, you cant do this to me, he’s our son-‘’  
‘’No Andie, he’s mine and Adam’s and if you don’t stay out of our lives, I will get a court order to make you stay away.’’ I warned her as she scrubbed at her eyes again.   
‘’Tommy…I never knew…if I did-‘’ Gus started to say and I shook my head slightly,  
‘’Forget about it okay, my secret is out now and no doubt by the time I go back to college, everyone will know that the queer has a kid’’ I told him before I turned and walked away.

 

‘’Tommy…’’ I gasped out as I saw him walking towards us, checking on Hamish and Jane I turned and opened my arms for him as he walked in to them and wrapped his arms around my waist tightly, ‘’Are you okay?’’ I asked before I felt him shake his head, his body shaking slightly as I held him tighter and kissed the top of his head.   
‘’Is daddy okay Adam?’’ I heard Hamish asked and I looked at him before I sighed a little.   
‘’Not really buddy, daddy’s a little upset, why don’t you give him a cuddle yeah?’’ I asked him as he nodded and walked closer before tugging on his sleeve.   
‘’Daddy…’’ He whispered out, watching as Tommy breathed out a little and ran his sleeve across his eyes before he turned to look at him, I glanced over at Jane to see her watching the animals still before I turned back as Tommy picked Hamish up and he hugged in to his dad. ‘’its okay daddy, you can have my teddy when you go home to cuddle too if you like, I cuddle him when im sad’’ I heard Hamish tell Tommy before he let a small laugh out and pulled back to stare at his son.   
‘’Daddy loves you so much, you know that don’t you’’ He asked Hamish who grinned and nodded at him.   
‘’I know, and if you’re upset because you think we are going to feed you to the lions, you don’t need to be, we don’t want to feed you to them daddy…who else would give me hugs and I need my daddy because I love you and because Adam needs your hugs too’’ Hamish spoke out and I smiled at them both before I stepped closer and kissed the top of Tommy’s head.   
‘’Do you want to head home?’’ I asked quietly and he nodded slightly as he reached up and ran his sleeve across his eyes again, making me wonder what had been said between him and Gus and whoever the girl was.  
‘’But I don’t want to ruin your day out with your sister either, I can just get a cab back for us so you and Jane can stay’’ He told me and I shook my head and moved my hand up to the back of his neck, stroking it softly as I sighed.  
‘’Baby, you won’t be ruining our day okay. I can see that you are upset and I want the best for you both okay’’ I told him softly, ‘’and I have to get Jane back before 4 anyway, she has a doctors appointment today which she can’t miss and im not going to let you get a cab home.’’ Tommy look at me before back to Hamish again as if he felt defeated before he nodded again. ‘’Jane, time to go’’ I called out to her before she turned to look towards us, watching her run over, I grabbed her hand again before we started to walk back through the zoo and towards the entrance and carpark.  
Watching Tommy as we walked, I couldn’t help but notice the way he held Hamish close to him, his hands wrapped around his small body tightly, stroking over his side every so often before he would kiss his temple.   
‘’Adam, I’ll meet you at the car, Hamish needs to use the bathroom’’ Tommy’s soft voice called out to me and I looked up at him before nodding, letting Jane’s hand go, I stepped closer and put my hand on his jaw and lightly tilted it up, his eyes dropping back down, kissing his cheek softly, I moved away and watched as he walked towards the bathrooms and I turned back to Jane again and walked out the place and through the carpark until we reached the car.

 

‘’Adam, is Tommy okay, I mean he looked like he had been crying and now he’s asleep…are you sure he’s not ill?’’ Jane asked me as we walked back in to the house and we kicked our shoes off.   
‘’Im sure baby, he’s just tired and he saw someone he knows who is mean to him, like the bullies used to be to you’’ I told her as she nodded slightly and we walked towards the kitchen.   
‘’Oh you’re back, that’s good, you can help me out with moving Neil’s stuff in Adam’’ My dad told me as we walked in and I looked up to see my brother sat at the table with our parents.   
‘’Dad, I can’t, not at the moment its not really a good time.’’ I told him as Jane walked over and hugged Neil.   
‘’Tommy’s asleep in the car he bumped in to someone bad at the zoo’’ She spoke out and everyone turned to look at her before back at me again and I shook my head slightly.   
‘’Not a good time’’ I told them, ‘’Just brought Jane home and going to drop Tommy off’’ I told them.   
‘’Adam, this boy sounds like trouble’’ Mom told me as she stood and walked over and I shook my head quickly.   
‘’He is not trouble mom, he had the biggest heart anyone could ever have, he is not trouble.’’ I sighed out to her, ‘’Tommy may have done a few things in his life which he regrets but he has said himself he wouldn’t change anything and I believe that in him.’’ I told her, her face softening slightly before she reached out and took my hands in hers.   
‘’You love him don’t you baby?’’ She asked and I looked over at my dad and siblings before I turned back to look at her again.   
‘’I should get going before he wakes up’’ I told her but her hands kept hold of mine.   
‘’Adam…’’ She spoke, her tone of voice telling me that I wasn’t going to go anywhere unless I told the truth.   
‘’Yes I love him okay mom, I fell in love with him the moment I set eyes on him in college.’’ I told her, the worry filling her eyes again quickly before I sighed, ‘’I got to go, I wont be home tonight going to stay at Tommy’s again’’ I told her before I pulled my hands out her hold and walked back out in to the hallway and slipped my feet in to my shoes before leaving the house and walked back to the car before getting inside.

Breathing out slightly, I ran my hand over my face before I peered back to see that Tommy had climbed in to the back seat with Hamish at some point and had pulled him in to his side as he curled up, the seat belt still around them as they both slept. Smiling to myself a little, I got out again and walked around to the trunk of the car and opened it, searching through it, I found a small blanket and closed the trunk again. Opening the door quietly, I laid it over both of the boys before leaning down and pressed a soft kiss to the top of Tommy’s head. By the time I had driven back to Tommy’s house, I could feel myself getting tired a little as I pulled up in the drive way and got out after checking on them both to see that they were still asleep.   
‘’Adam’’ I turned slightly to see Sutan walking out the house, Tommy’s ma stood in the door way as I pushed the car door open and got out, ‘’How was the zoo?’’ He asked with a large smile as he walked closer, eyes darting around me slightly to see Tommy and Hamish in the back seat.   
‘’It’s been a little rough, but it was a amazing day’’ I told him with a smile before movement made us both turn to look at Tommy as he moved and pulled Hamish closer to him again.

‘’Daddy is Adam gunna be my daddy now too?’’ Hamish’s small voice filtered out from the open window and I stared at him before I felt Sutan’s hand on my arm gently and I turned to look at him, a smile on his lips as he looked at me.   
‘’Mhmm…not up to me baby’’ Tommy’s tired voice rang out before shuffling could be heard and I turned back to see Tommy sitting up before getting out with a yawn. Stepping over to him, I wrapped my arms around his waist as he smiled up at me. ‘’You let me sleep again’’ He told me and I laughed before shrugging,   
‘’you both looked too damn cute to disturb you so I thought fuck it, let them sleep’’ I grinned out at him.   
‘’Adam, you owe me a dollar’’ Hamish cried out as Sutan got him out the car and he 1came running over, laughing, I let Tommy go before picking him up.  
‘’Well if I give you ten dollars will you let me take daddy upstairs and look after him so he gets some more sleep?’’ I asked before he turned to look at his dad and then back again with a grin.   
‘’Of course papa, I told daddy that he could cuddle with my teddy because he’s upset’’ Hamish cried out with a smile and I felt my throat tighten slightly as I looked at him and then over at Tommy who was staring at Hamish too. ‘’Did I do something wrong papa?’’ He asked me and I swallowed slightly before I shook my head.   
‘’You did nothing wrong squirt, nothing wrong at all’’ I told him quietly and wrapped my arm around him tighter before I reached over and pulled Tommy closer to me so that he was tucked under my other.   
‘’Daddy do you still want my teddy?’’ He asked Tommy who laughed softly before reaching up to ruffle his hair playfully,   
‘’Im sure I will be fine, but if I need him, I will ask you okay’’ He told Hamish who smiled before nodded and wrapped his arms around the two off us in a hug which we returned.  
‘’Daddy that lady from the zoo is here too’’ Hamish spoke out as he pulled away and Tommy spun around and swallowed a little before turning back to look towards the house and then at Sutan.   
‘’You don’t need to ask darling’’ Sutan told us before he walked over and took Hamish from me and started to walk towards the house.   
‘’Papa, papa…come with us, I want to show you daddy’s films’’ Hamish cried out as he came running back over and wrapped his arms around my leg, smiling softly I leaned down and picked him up again before glancing over at Tommy who was smiling at us.  
‘’Go take him inside, I will be in, in a second’’ He told me before pulling me down for a soft kiss. Pulling away, I smiled at him and kissed his cheek again before turning to head inside with Sutan, Tommy’s ma smiling at us before it fell as she started to walk towards Tommy and the girl.  
‘’Let’s go find those films’’ I grinned out to Hamish as we walked through the hallway and he laughed.   
‘’will you watch one with me and Uncle Sutan papa?’’ Hamish asked as I put him down and took his hand instead as he led us upstairs and I glanced towards Sutan again who’s face held a large smile.   
‘’Yeah, papa Adam, are you going to watch a film with us?’’ Sutan asked and I couldn’t help but laugh before I nodded.   
‘’Of course I will’’ I told them both as we walked in to Tommy’s and Hamish’s room and he let my hand go.   
‘’Those boy’s love you’’ Sutan whispered as he stood next to me and I looked over at him with a small smile before I turned back to watch Hamish,   
‘’I know Hamish does, but I don’t think Tommy is there quite yet’’ I told him back before he rolled his eyes and looked at me.   
‘’Do you?’’ He asked and I turned back confused,   
‘’Do I what?’’   
‘’Do you love Tommy?’’ Sutan said quietly and I laughed softly again before I shook my head slightly,   
‘’You sound like my mom, she asked me the same question before I left again just now’’ I told him before he put his hands on his hips and stared at me, ‘’but yes I do love Tommy, I love him to bits’’ I told Sutan who’s face grew wide in a smile.   
‘’Good, that was all I wanted to know’’ He told me before he walked over to where Hamish was knelt down in front of a book shelf, his little finger running across the spine of the dvd cases before he pulled one out and showed it to Sutan. Smiling to myself I walked over to Tommy’s bed and sat down on it before I turned back to watch the both of them, Hamish’s words running through my mind slightly as I thought about how he called me papa, it felt strange being called that as I never thought I would ever have kids or would want them but from the moment I met Hamish as Tommy’s son, I wanted to look after him and Tommy, I wanted to treat Hamish as if he was my own son and I knew that there was no way in hell that I would ever leave either of their lives unless they made me.

‘’Earth to Adam’’ I shook my head clear of thoughts slightly before I turned back to see Hamish and Sutan watching me before laughing together, ‘’We asked if you wanted to watch this one as it’s Hamish’s and Tommy’s favorite film which isn’t a horror’’ Sutan spoke out before I reached forward and gently took the case from Hamish’s out stretched hands and pulled it closer before I turned it over and looked down at it, a small smile forming over the corner of my lips as I turned back to look up at them.  
‘’Of course, believe it or not, I love watching this film, I’ve even lost count of how many times I’ve watched it myself and then replaced the dvd because I’ve scratched it’’ I laughed out softly and got up to go put it on. Climbing back on to Tommy’s bed, I smiled as Hamish climbed up beside me and snuggled in to my side and Sutan sat on the other end of the bed smiling at us before he turned towards the TV as the film started to play and as I wrapped my arm around Hamish.


	11. I’m waiting for the night to fall, when everything is bearable and there in the still, all that you feel, is tranquility*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry for such the long wait for an updated chapter, but im hoping you guys will all forgive me and that this chapter can keep you going till I can update more often again.
> 
> just a little warning, you might want to get food and drink before hand, cause this is the longest chapter out of this whole fic ^^

The house was quiet as Ma and I walked back inside, tears threatening my eyes again as we headed in to the kitchen and I slipped in to one of the kitchen chairs and leaned on the table.  
‘’Baby, are you okay?’’ Ma asked and I looked up at her and nodded softly before she laughed softly and walked over, pulling me to my feet I let her engulf me in a hug which I returned just as tightly. ‘’You know that she wont be coming back again now don’t you, she understands that you’ve done everything you can to protect yourself and the little one.’’ Ma told me quietly as I sniffed and nodded a little before I pulled away from her hold.  
‘’I just don’t want her having him, I wouldn’t be able to cope if Hamish wasn’t in my life any more Ma,’’ I told her as she smiled softly and ran her hands through my hair as footsteps came closer to the kitchen doorway and we both turned to see Sutan walk in with a soft smile.  
‘’Everything okay with Hamish’’ I asked as he smiled and nodded,  
‘’He’s fine, upstairs with Adam watching a film.’’ He told me as I nodded and sat back down at the table again and ran my hand through my hair,  
‘’I never thought she would show up here after I saw her at the zoo today’’ I spoke out before I felt two sets of eyes on me and I looked up to see Sutan and Ma watching me, ‘’I bumped in to her and Gus’’ I told them, worry in Sutan’s eyes which I chose to ignore as I sat back, ‘’Im just glad that Adam was there so he could take Hamish away so he didn’t hear anything about Andie and find out that she is his mom. I don’t think im ready to explain to him why his mom left like she did.’’  I explained to them as they both nodded and sat down themselves.  
‘’It will take time honey, and one day Hamish is going to ask about his mom and you will have to sit him down and explain, but you cant hide him away from the world forever Tommy, people will find out that you have a son, people at college will find out and you will get abuse thrown towards you because of that and because of your relationship with Adam, but I know that you are strong and with Adam by your side, you are going to do just fine.’’ Ma told me as I nodded slightly and breathed out, ‘’you might be a dad Tommy, but you are still my baby okay, your father would say the same thing if he was here with us, and im sure if your sister was home she would say it too, there’s nothing wrong with being a young parent, whether or not you are in a same sex relationship, it’s the care of the child which matters the most not the stares of people around you.’’ She spoke out as she reached across the table and laid her hands over mine and squeezed them softly.

‘’Live life today as if there was no tomorrow or next week’’ I spoke out quietly before I raised my eyes to look across at Ma, ‘’that’s what dad would’ve said too’’ I whispered with a smile as she nodded.  
‘’Your dad was always a bright man’’ Sutan added and I grinned a little before nodding with a small sigh.   
‘’I just scared that im going to loose them both, Hamish to Andie again and Adam to someone else, I don’t think my heart could take that much pain’’ I admitted before Sutan stood and walked around, his hands moving to my jaw and tilting my head up before he stared at me,  
‘’Honey, Adam is not going anywhere, the way he kept smiling when that little boy called him papa was one of glee and you could see the happiness in his eyes, if he was going to walk out of your lives, he would’ve done it the moment he found out Hamish was your son.’’ Sutan told me as I swallowed a little and nodded, ‘’Now you get the sorry excuse of an ass up those stairs and to your men and I will be up in a bit with drinks and something to eat’’ Smiling lightly I nodded before I stood and hugged him quickly before heading towards the kitchen door where I paused and turned to look at the both of them as they moved around the kitchen, shaking my head slightly I headed through the hallway and up the stairs, my arms wrapped around my body slightly.

Stepping in to my room quietly, I glanced towards my bed and let a small smile fumble on the edge of my lips as I saw how Hamish was sat in Adam’s lap with his head against his chest, walking over, I pulled myself up on to the bed quietly as Adam looked over at me softly and smiled.  
‘’Everything okay’’ He asked quietly and I glanced towards the tv before looking back at him,  
‘’It’s nothing a good cuddle wouldn’t sort out’’ I told him softly as he smiled and started to move,  
‘’No…Daddy you aren’t allowed Adam’’ Hamish spoke out quickly as he looked up from where he was watching TV, ‘’Papa’s mine tonight and you cant have him’’  
‘’Baby please, not tonight im not in the mood to be playing games’’ I told him as he pouted and shook his head, his hands clinging on to Adam tighter.  
‘’There’s plenty of me to cuddle both of you guy’s’’ Adam spoke out before Hamish shook his head again.  
‘’Im not sharing’’ Breathing out a little, I sighed before nodding in defeat and rested back against the wall before I felt Hamish push me slightly, ‘’You’re still too close daddy’’ He told me before I moved away a little and brought my knees up towards my chest and rested against them slightly before I glued my eyes to the tv and tried to push the tears away.  
‘’Hamish, maybe you should let daddy join us he’s-’’ Adam started to say and I shook my head slightly,  
‘’No Adam, it’s fine really’’ I told him softly, the weight of his glaze on me made me feel slightly uncomfortable before there was a soft sigh and I glanced through my bangs to see him leaning his head back against the wall, his eyes closed slightly as I bit my lip and dropped my eyes before looking up towards the tv again.

 

Looking over at Tommy, I could see that he was fighting back tears and I just wanted to reach out and pull him in to a hug and hold him, to tell him that everything would work out for the best and that nothing or no one would get closer enough to ever hurt him again yet at the same time I felt helpless over the choice Hamish had made of not letting me go so that his dad could join us. Breathing out slightly I lent my head back against the wall as Sutan walked in with a smile before he frowned slightly as he noticed Tommy sat away from us.  
‘’I brought some drinks up’’ Sutan spoke out as he walked over with the tray and set it down on the bed,  
‘’Your not allowed papa either Uncle Sutan’’ Hamish called out before he buried himself further in to my top again and Sutan chuckled softly before he handed him a cup of juice before looking up at me and I lifted my shoulder slightly before letting it drop again,  
‘’Apparently im his tonight’’ I told him as he nodded and glanced towards Tommy with a soft expression, picking up another cup, I smiled and took it from him gently before I watched him hand another to Tommy.  
‘’Uncle Sutan, you need to put another film on’’ Hamish told him as he looked at where my cup was and moved a little as Sutan laughed and rolled his eyes a little but moved towards the films and grabbed another one before putting it on and moved on to the bed in between Tommy and I before he curled in to Sutan’s side and I felt a little jealous that he got to cuddle my boyfriend but I knew that Hamish didn’t want anyone else touching us while he cuddled me and watched the films, the room falling in to a soft silence as it slowly got a little darker as the sun lowered in the sky outside.

Hearing movement, I glanced towards Sutan slightly and then across to Tommy as he moved forward and placed his empty cup on the floor  before sitting back again, his arms wrapping back around his knees before he rested his head lightly against Sutan’s  shoulder before he moved his arm around him and he curled in closer to his body and I bit my lip slightly wondering what might have been going through Tommy’s mind at the moment before I turned back to the film again and I ran my hands up Hamish’s sides slightly before he curled against my chest again, one hand holding on to my index finger and his other on to his Sippy cup tightly as I sat watching him for a few minutes.

Feeling the bed move about half way through the film, I looked over at Sutan who in turn was looking at Tommy as he stood and walked towards the door before out of it before I turned to look at him as he turned around, ‘’Is he okay?’’ I asked Sutan quietly before he shook his head a little,  
‘’He’s just over thinking things to much, he will be okay though’’ Sutan told me as I nodded slightly, ‘’Adam he will be fine, I think he just wanted a little cuddle’’ He said quietly before I looked down at Hamish as he yawned a little and I ran my finger through his hair softly.  
‘’Should I go check on him’’ I asked and Sutan laughed softly before shaking his head and rested his hand on my arm gently.  
‘’Just let him be alone for a little while, im sure Hamish wouldn’t let you leave anyway and plus he wanted to go study a little for this exam coming up in a few weeks’’ He said quietly and I let a small smile turn the corner of my lips before I rested my head back against the wall again.  
‘’I feel like I should be doing more to help Tommy out’’ I told him quietly,  
‘’Adam, you are doing more than he could ever ask you honey, he’s let you in to his life, trusted you with the biggest secret in his life and you stood up for him in front of Gus in college, outted yourself to protect him from harm.’’ Sutan spoke out, ‘’You’ve also made an impact in Hamish’s life, just being the person you are and being here is doing enough for him’’ I nodded softly to his words before I let my eyes move back down to the boy in my arms, the way his nose scrunched up when he smiled and laughed was identical to Tommy’s, it was even cute to how he dressed like his father as much as he could,  
‘’I still feel like I could do more to help him out, I mean it must be tiring on Tommy working some days and the college others, like I could find myself a job or give some money to him to try and help…I have plenty saved and have done for a while because I never knew when we would move again’’ I told Sutan before he laughed softly and shook his head.  
‘’Honey, Tommy has been doing this ever since the little one arrived on his ma’s doorstep you don’t have to be go doing that’’ He told me as I sighed and nodded a little.

 

‘’Come on Mr. Tired pants, time for bed I think’’ I told Hamish as he yawned again before he whined and tried to stay sat on my lap. ‘’No, it’s late and I don’t think your dad would like it if you were still awake’’ I told him as I moved of the bed with him in my arms,  
‘’Nooo, I want to stay up longer like all of you’’ Hamish cried out as I walked over towards his bed and placed him down on it,  
‘’Come on squirt, you’ve had a busy day at the zoo and now you’ve just sat there with me and Sutan and watched four films, its time for bed.’’ I told him a little more sternly as he pouted slightly and I sighed, ‘’Hamish, you need to do what you are told okay’’ I said softly as he folded his arms over his chest and pressed his chin down in to his chest. Shaking my head slightly I stood up again and walked over to his drawers and found a pair of sleeping shorts and a top before I turned back and moved back to crouched down in front of him. ‘’Please Hamish, you need to change and get in to bed’’ I told him gently as he slowly looked up at me.  
‘’Don’t be angry with me Adam’’ He whispered out to me before he took his clothes and started to change as I stood up and felt a hand on my shoulder, looking at Sutan he smiled at me and I returned it before turning back and helped Hamish in to bed before pushing the covers over him. ‘’Adam…’’ Hamish asked and I smiled at him softly before sitting on the edge of the bed.  
‘’Yeah kiddo’’ I asked him as I pushed his hair out his eyes,  
‘’Are you going to leave daddy like mommy did?’’ He asked and I stared at him slightly before I looked up towards Sutan where he had paused in the doorway and turned back to look towards us, his eyes darting between me and then Hamish before back again.  
‘’what do you mean baby?’’ I asked as Sutan walked back over slightly and I looked back down at him,  
‘’Just don’t leave my daddy papa, I want you to stay for the rest of time’’ Hamish whispered to me and I ran my fingers through his hair before leaning down and kissed the top of his head softly as I breathed out a little.  
‘’Im not going to leave Hamish, I love you and your daddy’’ I told him quietly.  
‘’Mommy loved daddy and she left’’ He mumbled out as I pulled away and looked down at him and then across to Sutan who was stood there with his fingers across his mouth slightly, breathing out I turned back to Hamish to see him looking up with tears in his eyes.  
‘’Im not going anywhere Hamish, I promise you that, I don’t think I would ever be able to walk away from the two of you okay. I love you both way to much to leave and next weekend I’ll take you and daddy to my house to stay for a couple of nights, then you can play with Jane as much as you want too and you will get to see my room and watch my films and listen to my cd’s, you can do what ever you want to in there’’ I whispered to him as he smiled and nodded.  
‘’That sounds amazing papa, can I bring my teddy with me so he can see it too?’’ He asked and I laughed softly before nodding,  
‘’only if you go to sleep like a good boy and be good for me and daddy’’ I told him before kissing his forehead again and tucked the covers in around him.  
‘’I promise papa, I will be a good boy’’ Hamish smiled out to me, laughing softly, I reached over and grabbed his bear before tucking it under the covers next to him and lent down to kiss his forehead again softly.  
‘’Goodnight Hamish, sweet dreams baby’’ I whispered before I stood up and headed towards the doorway with Sutan.  
‘’Goodnight papa, goodnight uncle Sutan’’ Hamish called out and I smiled softly,  
‘’Night honey’’ Sutan called out before he pulled the door shut behind us gently and we headed along the hallways and to the stairs. ‘’You handled that really good, are you sure this is the first time you’ve been adopted by a kid and their yummy daddy?’’ Sutan asked and I laughed slightly as we headed downstairs and in to the kitchen.

‘’Is Tommy not down here?’’ I asked his mam as she looked up from where she was sat reading a book at the table and shook her head slightly,  
‘’No, I thought he was up with you boys’’ She told us and I frowned slightly,  
‘’He left a few films ago to go study’’ I told her as she nodded a little and put her book down as Sutan sat down at the table.  
‘’He might be in the spare bedroom then, that’s normally where he goes if he isn’t down here or in his room to study’’ Ma said and I nodded slightly before turning towards the kitchen door again and then paused to look back, ‘’Third door on the right’’ She told me I smiled and headed back upstairs again and knocked on the door softly.

Slowly pushing the door open, I peered around to see Tommy quickly wiping his sleeves across his eyes before moving back to his books again which was spread out over the bed in the room, sighing softly I stepped inside and closed the door behind me before I crossed over the room to him and stood against the bed slightly as I reached down and lightly curled my fingers around the back of his neck before he turned and buried his face in to my stomach as his arms came around my waist tightly.  
‘’Sorry’’ He mumbled out quietly after a small while of it being silent around us and I smiled down at him before pulling away and reached down to close some of his books and then stacked them on the floor beside the bed, climbing up on to it, I pulled him in to my arms softly and laid back as he rested his head on my chest.  
‘’You don’t need to be sorry baby’’ I whispered to him as I ran my fingers through his hair gently before I moved and laid on the bed facing him softly, my hand reaching up to cup around his jaw as I stroked my thumb under his eye softly and smiled. ‘’But tell me, what’s going on in that wonderful mind of yours?’’ I asked quietly as he breathed out and lowered his eyes again.  
‘’That girl we saw at the zoo and then here when we got back’’ Tommy started to say quietly, ‘’She’s called Andie and she is Hamish’s mom’’ He told me and I nodded softly. ‘’The last time I saw her was a few months after she left Hamish on our doorstep, she brought around the rest of the things she had for him…it was strange seeing her again and im just scared.’’ He whispered as he slowly looked back up at me,  
‘’what are you scared of Tommy?’’ I asked him softly as I moved closer to him and wrapped my arm around his waist and held him closer.  
‘’Of everything’’ He whispered to me, ‘’Im scared of loosing Hamish to Andie again, I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t have him in my life, missing out on all his first things like I did for his first words and first steps…I want to be there for every mile stone like my dad was there for me, his first school play, his first report card, his first baseball game, I want it all’’ He told me as I stayed silent, knowing that it was the best way to be for him to talk. ‘’And im scared of loosing you Adam, I cant go through that heartbreak, I love you too much for you to just walk away from me and Hamish. I knew the first day I saw you that you was going to be dangours for me but I didn’t know how much I would end up risking when I first saw you in the hallway.’’ He told me and I nodded slightly. ‘’You rooted yourself down inside my heart and you refused point blank to leave and at first I tried to stay away from you, to push you away at any cost so I could protect me and Hamish but now I cant…I wont let you go but im scared that you will’’ He told me and I laughed softly before pressing a soft kiss against his lips before pulling him in to a tight hug.

‘’You’re such a foolish boy Tommy’’ I whispered back to him as I rubbed my thumb on the side of his neck, ‘’Im not going to go anywhere and just like I promised and said to Hamish just now, I love you both way too much to ever leave you guys, you are part of my life now and if you weren’t in it, I don’t know what I would do because I could never walk away from you both’’ I told him softly as he sniffed a little and I wiped the few tears away which escaped his eyes. ‘’Like I’ve told you before, im in this relationship for life.’’ I whispered as he smiled a little and looked up in to my eyes.  
‘’Im sorry I left the room, I just really wanted to curl in to your side and I don’t fit as well against Sutan as I do with you.’’ Tommy told me and I laughed softly before lightly kissing the tip of his nose.  
‘’Baby it’s fine, you have e for the rest of the night’’ I whispered to him as he smiled,  
‘’How was Hamish going to bed?’’ He asked and I smiled lightly before breathing out softly,  
‘’A little trouble at first but then he went down fine which reminds me, I kinder promised him that next weekend I will take you and him to stay at mine for a few days’’ I told him, his eyes widening slightly before he bit his lower lip.  
‘’You didn’t have to do that Adam’’ He told me and I shrugged slightly.  
‘’I wanted too and I don’t mind baby, I want you to meet my parents and my younger brother, he’s moved back in with mom and dad’’ I grinned out to him as he laughed softly and nodded, feeling him move out my hold, I watched him as he climbed off the bed gain and walked over towards the door before turning the lights off and quickly came back over again and climbed back on the bed again where I wrapped my arms around him again, his head resting against my shoulder as I kissed his cheek lightly.  
  
‘’I don’t want to go back to college tomorrow’’ Tommy whispered softly and I smiled as I ran my hand up his back softly.  
‘’But you will have me by your side and you will have Sutan there too’’ I told him softly. Breathing out softly I kept stroking my fingers over his back and arm as we laid there in silence, a sense of tranquility surrounding us before Tommy moved and turned on to his side, his back facing me before he reached back and grabbed my hand before tugging me closer again, curling my arm around his waist, I let my hand rest against his chest, his fingers slipping through mine before pressing a feather light kiss against his shoulder.  
‘’How are you feeling now’’ I whispered to him as he curled his legs around mine and I rested my cheek against the back of his neck.  
‘’A lot better now that I’ve admitted what was going on in my mind’’ He whispered back and I smiled softly as I moved a little and let my eyes close as I hugged him close to me,  
‘’Im glad baby, I want you to feel as peaceful as I can get you’’ I whispered to his I rested my chin on his shoulder softly and smiled, the room slowly falling silent again, the quietness around us just made everything feel perfect.  
‘’You always make me feel peaceful Adam’’ Tommy whispered after a while before he turned around in my arm again, his head softly tucking in underneath my chin as he rested his body against my side, arms around my waist as I curled mine around his shoulders and kissed the top of his head.

‘’Hamish asked if I was going to leave like his mom did’’ I told Tommy quietly as I ran my hand up his side gently, ‘’He thought because I loved you, I was going to leave like she did’’ I whispered as he moved and I could tell that he was looking through the darkness at me, I didn’t really want to disturb the silence which had fallen between us but I knew Tommy had a right to know and I wanted to tell him everything, I was tired from having secrets and I didn’t want to have any between us.  
‘’Did he ask anything else about his mom?’’ Tommy’s voice whispered through the darkness and I shook my head slightly,  
‘’No he didn’t, you’re safe’’ I told him before I felt him start moving around again,  
‘’Can we go back to our room, I want to be closer to him’’ Tommy asked as I sat up with a smile,  
‘’We can do what ever you want baby, you know that’’ I told him as I stood up and walked towards the door and pulled it open softly, the light from the hallway flooding in quickly as I looked back towards Tommy, his hair a mess slightly from where we had been laid together.

.o0o.

Waking up beside Adam was still strange for me after I got it in to my head that no one would ever want anything to do with me once they found out that I had a kid but I loved the feeling of the warmth, the safety of being curled up against Adam’s chest, his arms locked around my waist tightly. Laying against him a little more, I let a soft breath out before I felt a small tug on the sleeve of my top and I turned to see Hamish stood next to the bed, half dressed and rubbing his eyes.  
‘’Whats up wrong baby’’ I asked softly, a yawn escaping my lips at the same time as I carefully turned over in Adam’s arms to look at him properly.  
‘’Can you get me some breakfast?’’ He asked and I glanced over at the clock and groaned slightly before I nodded and started to get up, making it out of Adam’s arms, I picked Hamish up an carried him back to his bed before sitting him down on it and started to tie his laces up and grabbed his top. Once dressed I carried him downstairs again before setting him down in the kitchen, ‘’what would you like this morning?’’ I asked him as I moved around and grabbed a cup for some juice and another for coffee for myself.  
‘’Do we have any lucky charms left?’’ Hamish asked as I placed the drinks on the table and walked back to the cupboard as I pulled it open, grabbing the box, I placed it on the table with some bowls and took the milk out the fridge before I sat down next to him.  
‘’Can you do it?’’ I asked him as I pushed the box closer, ‘’Or do you want me to?’’  
‘’You can do the milk’’ Hamish told me as I nodded slightly and picked my coffee up, drinking at it slowly, I watched as he picked the box up and started to pour them in to his bowl and then mine, laughing softly I put my drink down and took the box from him when he was finished and pushed it out the way slightly before I picked the milk up and poured it over his and then my own breakfast. ‘’Daddy you forgot the spoon’s’’ Hamish smiled out at me and I looked at him before I shook my head slightly.  
‘’Sorry baby, still a little tired this morning’’ I told him as he smiled again and picked one of the marshmallow shapes up and popped it in to his mouth.

Getting up, I quickly found them and handed one over as I sat back down again and looked over at him, ‘’Not too fast now, remember what happened last time when you tried to rush your food’’ I told him, the look on his face making me laugh slightly as I reached over and ran my fingers through his hair, shaking my head slightly I moved my hand away and started to eat myself.

Every so often, I glanced over at Hamish to make sure he was okay before picking my coffee up and sipped at it slowly.  
‘’Morning’’ Feeling Adam kiss the top of my head, I smiled softly and looked up at him as he walked around and done the same to Hamish before sitting down on the other side of him.  
‘’Do you want anything?’’ I asked him as I put my coffee down again and looked back towards him as he shook his head.  
‘’It’s alright, I will get something at home, I have to nip back anyway for a change of clothes and to get everything I need for class’’ Adam told me as I nodded slightly and looked back to Hamish as he carried on eating, his eyes moving up to catch mine as a smile appeared over his lips before he dug his spoon back in to his cereal again.  
‘’Maybe you should start keeping stuff here since this is where you have been a lot lately’’ I teased out to Adam with a smile as I looked back towards him, a smile on his own face as he laughed and rubbed his hand over his jaw and then ran it though his hair.  
‘’If it means I get to spend more time with my boys, maybe I should’’ Adam teased back and I felt a light blush form over my cheeks as I pulled a spoonful of lucky charms in to my own mouth as I grinned.

.o0o.

‘’You know, you didn’t have to drive us here’’ I told Adam as he closed the car door behind him,  
‘’I know, but it was on my way home and I wanted too’’ He shrugged out to me before he scooped Hamish up in his arms, holding him tightly as he started to wiggle about and laugh.  
‘’Papa, papa put me down’’ He laughed out as I grinned and moved my bag strap over my shoulders before Hamish settled against Adam and wrapped his arms around his neck, ‘’Your mean but its lucky I love you’’ He pouted out to Adam who in turned grinned and stuck his tongue out before putting him back down again and watched as he ran off in the playground.  
‘’How did I get this lucky, I still feel like im going to wake up any moment and that this has been just one big dream’’ I muttered out to him, a smile appearing over his lips before he moved his hands to my waist and pulled me closer to him as his lips brushed over my forehead.  
‘’I can say for sure that this isn’t a dream baby’’ He whispered as he moved to look back at me, smiling at him gently, I wrapped my arms around his neck and let my fingers trace along his hair as his lips came across mine softly.  
‘’Disgusting’’ Pulling away from Adam’s kiss, I turned to look towards a women as she walked past and in to the school before  I bit my lip slightly and felt Adam pulled me back against him softly, his breath warm against my neck,  
‘’Ignore her baby’’ He whispered to me before I nodded slightly and turned to look at him with a soft smile before I took his hand,  
‘’Come on, lets go find Hamish to say by or I will never hear the end of it that you didn’t say goodbye to him.’’ I told him.

Walking through the playground, I let my eyes search around before I noticed Hamish talking to the women who had commented towards me and Adam, swallowing slightly, I took a deep breath and started to walk over, my hand still in Adam’s as Hamish turned with a smile.  
‘’Daddy…Papa, I thought you had left without saying bye’’ Hamish called out loudly before he laughed and ran over to us.  
‘’We couldn’t leave and not say bye to you squirt that just wouldn’t be right’’ Adam spoke out as he picked him up and I laughed slightly before I glanced back towards the women to see her staring at us with a horrible look.  
‘’Adam’s right baby’’ I told him as he turned and threw his arms around my neck and I took him off Adam, ‘’But what have I’ve told you about talking to people you don’t know?’’ I asked and he pouted slightly and I raised an eyebrow.  
‘’Don’t talk to strangers daddy, but the lady looks nice’’ Hamish tried to counter act and I shook my head slightly.  
‘’Anyone could look nice Hamish, but it doesn’t mean they are’’ I told him before looking towards the women again as she quickly looked away. ‘’But lets go find your teacher to tell her you are here’’ I told him as I put him down again and held his hand, Adam’s hand being caught in his other as he smiled up.  
‘’Are you coming too Papa’’ Hamish asked as Adam nodded.  Finding the teacher quickly, I let Hamish run off in to the classroom as she smiled at me and Adam together as he let his fingers curl around mine as I told her about the women and not to let Hamish talk to here again if she was around before we headed towards the car again.  
‘’Are you sure you don’t want me to drop you off at college early?’’ Adam asked and I laughed slightly before shaking my head,  
‘’I will be fine with the bus but thank you for the offer’’ I told him as he nodded softly, kissing him back just as quickly again as he leaned down, I pulled away and bit my lip slightly before he climbed in to the car and I leaned in through the window slightly. ‘’Drive carefully and I will see you around campus later’’ I told him as he grinned.  
‘’That goes to you too, but just be careful Tommy, I don’t want you getting hurt again’’ Adam told me and I smiled at him softly before I kissed his cheek,  
‘’I will be fine, just go home and change because you smell’’ I teased him with a wink as he laughed.  
‘’I love you too’’ He spoke out to me, a smile forming over my lips as I stepped away from the car and watched as he droved off before I turned and headed towards the bus stop.

.o0o.

Walking in to the stage area, I smiled seeing that Sutan was already sat on the stage writing something in to a book before he looked up at my footsteps,  
‘’You are in early’’ Sutan spoke out as I walked over and sat on the stage with him and I smiled,  
‘’Yeah, Adam dropped me off at school with Hamish so we could get him in because it was on his way home and I caught the bus after refusing his offer of him driving me here and then heading home to get himself sorted just to come back’’ I laughed out slightly as he nodded.  
‘’That was nice of him’’ I grinned as I sat back slightly, ‘’Oh, I forgot to tell you yesterday because of Andie turning up but there’s a band playing at the club Thursday who needs someone to be on the guitar for them as their guitarist broke his wrist the other day’’ Sutan told me as I nodded slightly.  
‘’Thursday…yeah I should be free, I will talk to Adam because he wants me and Hamish to stay at his this week sometime’’ I told him as he nodded.

‘’So have you decided on what you want to do for your birthday?’’ Sutan asked, ‘’I mean it is coming around quickly now isn’t it and then you have Hamish’s not that long after again’’ Hearing him I groaned slightly and rubbed my hand over my face slightly,  
‘’I cant believe I forgot my own kid’s birthday, with everything going on lately I just haven’t really paid attention to the months’’ I groaned out again as Sutan laughed,  
‘’I still say that the fates knew you way to well for you to have a child born on Halloween, no wonder why he turned out like you so much’’ He grinned and I laughed slightly before I sat up.  
‘’That’s it…Halloween’’ I suddenly told him as he looked at me confused.  
‘’Tommy darling, you have lost me’’  
‘’Halloween…Michael!’’  
‘’As in Myers…the guy tattooed on your arm Michael’’ He asked and I laughed as I nodded,  
‘’Yeah, I remember Hamish saying once that he wanted a birthday cake of Michael and that he wanted the best birthday party ever.’’  
‘’I still don’t follow’’  
‘’Santa Monica has a fun house every year at Halloween, with enough money you can book it out for events and I could always pull a few extra shifts, get things worked out and book it for Hamish’s birthday, hire people to dress up as Freddy, Michael and other horror characters’’ I told him excitedly before he laughed and shook his head slightly,  
‘’Oh honey, as much as I know Hamish would love that, I think it would scare his friends, wouldn’t you?’’ He asked and I sighed a little knowing he was right.  
‘’Damnit, I thought I had it all planned out perfectly.’’ I muttered out as I sat back again and stared up at the top of the stage.  
‘’You will think of something darling but you have to go before your late for tutoring.’’ Sutan told me before I glanced over at the clock and cursed slightly.  
‘’Thanks for telling me, I will see you at lunch’’ I told him as I quickly kissed his cheek and grabbed my bag before heading out and in to the main part of the college campus and headed in to the halls.

_‘’Do you think it’s true’’_

_‘’I think it was just him trying to stop Gus’’_

_‘’They kinder would make a cute couple’’_

_‘’I hope he isn’t gay, it would be such a waste on him’’_

_‘’Queer’’_

_‘’I don’t think they are dating’’_

_‘’Loser’’_

Waking through the hallways, the hushed questions and thoughts were being thrown around again as I held on to the strap of my bag tightly like I normally did, still scared of Gus and his gang was going to shove me in to a locker or push me around at any moment, ignoring the comments as I kept walking, I kept my eyes down on the ground just ahead of me before I glanced up as I reached my locker and quickly spun my combination in before I yanked it open and started to put my books in to it before pushing the ones which I needed in to my bag after checking my time table which was stuck to the door of my locker.  
‘’Hey Tommy’’ Hearing someone call my name, I swallowed slightly and pushed my locker closed before I turned around to see Luke  
‘’Hi’’ I told him as I shifted my bag over my shoulder more again as he got closer,  
‘’I just wanted to say thank you for all the help you gave me, I aced that essay with flying colors’’ He told me and I laughed lightly before nodding.  
‘’It was nothing, you done most of the work yourself, I just gave you pointers’’  I told him s he smiled and leaned against the lockers slightly as he glanced down and then up again, his eyes moving past me before he stood up and stepped away.  
‘’I just wanted to say thanks, but I have to go before Im late for class’’ He told me quickly before walking away and I frowned slightly before I felt myself get shoved in to the lockers again.

‘’Loser’’ A voice laughed out as I moved away again and rubbed my shoulder as I glanced up to see Gus’s little gang but no Gus.  
‘’What do you want, Im going to be late’’ I told them as one of the guys laughed and pushed me back against the lockers again as I went to turn, the grating catching my cheek again as I winched.  
‘’We want to have a little fun, we’ve missed you the past few days since college has been out’’ He spoke out close to me as I was turned back and pushed back in to the lockers again, my head hitting back as I groaned slightly and reached up to hold the back of it before I felt my feet get knocked out from under me, falling to the ground, I leaned back slightly as laughter rang out. ‘’You’re so pathetic ‘’ He muttered out to me again as another round of laughter went out around us.  
Reaching up, I lightly wiped the back of my hand across my cheek a little and pulled it away to see that I had some blood on it and I sighed a little knowing that I was going to have a slight graze there for a while.  
‘’Im just trying to get my way through college and in to a good job’’ I muttered out before he laughed and I felt him kick me slightly, groaning slightly as I curled my arm around my waist as I breathed out slightly.  
‘’No you are just a loser and a nerd who needs to be taught a good lesson’’ He laughed out as his foot hit my side again and I bit my lip to stop myself from groaning out.  
‘’Tommy…’’Hearing a girls voice, I looked up slightly before down the hall to see Gus stood there with Andie, breathing out slightly I managed to get myself up on to my feet again before I shook my head slightly, part of me glad as I saw Adam walking up the hall from behind them, a smile on his face as he talked with someone.  
‘’What’s going on Matt’’ Gus asked before the guy shrugged a little as he stepped away and I lent against my locker.  
‘’Nothing’’ He told Gus before I laughed slightly,  
‘’Tommy, don’t ignore me please’’ Andie asked out again and I turned a little towards her,  
‘’Why are you here?’’ I asked her, trying to work it out.  
‘’My parents and I moved back to town’’ She told me and I breathed out slightly, ‘’I just want to talk’’  
‘’Why should I talk to you Andie, you haven’t done anything for me since we were 15, you are lucky that I haven’t taken you to court’’ I sneered out at her as the gang looked between us and Adam glanced up, his face hardening slightly before he walked over and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.  
‘’Come on baby, just leave them’’ He whispered to me as I shook my head but leaned in to him slightly still.  
‘’Take me to court, do what ever you want, but don’t push me out your lives’’ Andie said and I pulled away from Adam before walking closer to her,  
‘’Push you away? Andie you done that yourself five years ago, I just don’t want you to have part in our lives, I thought I made that clear to you yesterday when you turned up’’ I told her, her eyes flicking towards the gang behind me and then to Gus who was looking at the ground slightly before she looked back up at me again.  
‘’What is going on’’ Matt asked and I turned to stare at him,  
‘’Just fuck off Matt, this has nothing to do with you’’ I yelled at him, his eyes widening slightly as he stepped back, surprised at my sudden out bust at him.  
‘’I know Tommy, but I spent all last night thinking and I want to make things right, I want to be there for him and you, I want to see him grow up’’ Andie spoke out and I laughed bitterly before I felt Adam grab my hand.  
‘’Tommy…come on’’ He told me softly,  
‘’No Adam, I might still be scared but I don’t want to hide any more, im tired of it’’ I told him as he swallowed and nodded softly, his thumb rubbing over my hand softly as he squeezed it.  ‘’And as for you Andie, just simply no, you had a chance but you blew it and I don’t want you around him, he doesn’t know who his mom is and that is going to stay that way, so just stay away from me and my family and stay away from my son.’’ I told her as a few gasps echoed through the semi quiet hallway before she stayed at me, ‘’and I feel sorry for Gus ever meeting you.’’ I told her before I turned and started to walk away, Adam following before he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I leaned in to him, my arms moving around his waist tightly as I breathed out.

‘’So proud of you baby’’ Adam whispered in to my ear as we paused out of view from everyone and I turned to look at him, nerves running through my boy as I felt my hands shake slightly,  
‘’I feel like im just going to wake up and that all this was a nightmare and that she hasn’t moved back here and I hadn’t just yelled out in the middle of the college hallway that I have a son’’ I whispered out before Adam’s hands came around mine and he pulled me closer, his lips pressing lightly against my forehead before he smiled.  
‘’Sadly it is reality Tommy, but you have been brave…so brave and that’s what I love about you, you know when things are needed to be said and when they aren’t. But you do know what the best thing is for you and Hamish’’ Adam told me as I nodded slightly,  
‘’Can I have a hug please?’’ I asked him as he laughed and pulled me in to one, his arms tight around my body as I buried my face in to the side of his neck a little,  
‘’You don’t need to ask Tommy, my arms are open for you any time you need some comfort or just want a hug’’ He laughed out as I grinned, lightly biting his neck, I pulled away with a grin as he laughed.  
‘’Im late for tutoring’’ I muttered out as I checked the time and he nodded slightly, ‘’Going see you at lunch?’’ I asked Adam as he smiled.  
‘’Of course, if I cant find you, I will find Sutan’’ he told me as I smiled, ‘’But remember, just keep your head up high and ignore what ever people say to you’’ Adam whispered as I laughed and looked around a little before back again.  
‘’I love that you are right’’ I told him as he smiled.  
‘’Good, and I want you to come home with me tonight with Hamish’’ Adam whispered and I stared at him slightly before slowly nodding.  
‘’Okay, but im not going to lie, im scared of meeting your parents’’ I admitted as Adam laughed, a hand moving up to my jaw before he pressed his lips against mine softly.

‘’Stop’’ I grinned against his lips slightly before I pushed him away, ‘’I have to go, im late already as it is and I don’t want any more distractions from you’’ I told him as I backed away slowly, Adam stepping forward before he grabbed my waist and pulled me closer again and pressed his lips back against mine deeply again before he pulled away.  
‘’So I’ll see you at lunch’’ He grinned at me and I nodded before stealing one last kiss from him again as he let me go.  
‘’See you later Adam’’ I told him as he smiled,  
‘’See you around baby.’’

Heading back through the halls quickly, I moved towards the library where the student was still waiting and I breathed out slightly flushed from rushing, quickly I appoglised for being late and was happy a little to see that he already had most of his books out and had been trying to work some stuff out before I had got here.

Laughing a little, I glanced up and pulled my glasses away from my face as I rubbed at my eyes again before I replaced them, looking around the room, I noticed a couple of people looking towards me before I lowered my eyes again and turned back to help the student with the problem he was stuck on when it came to comparing the two different centuries together.

.o0o.

‘’Dude, my brain can’t take any more studying and im starving…do you think we can finish up here?’’ He asked and I glanced towards the clock and nodded.  
‘’Sure thing, I have plans for lunch and again im running late’’ I laughed out slightly as I started to pack all my things away in to my bag and stood up. ‘’Just come find me when ever you need any more help again’’ I told him as he nodded and I headed out of the library and towards the food campus.

_‘’It’s true, I saw them kissing’’_

_‘’Gus stopped Matt from hitting him more’’_

_‘’The new girl used to be his girlfriend.’’_

_‘’They had a yelling match in the hallway this morning’’_

_‘’The freak has a kid’’_

Hearing the comments again I bit the inside of my lip and carried on walking across the grass until I saw Adam and Sutan sat near each other at a table under the trees before I quickly brought myself some lunch and walked over, kissing Sutan’s cheek with a smile, I moved around to the other side and slipped in to the seat beside Adam before leaning over and brushed my lips over his quickly before pulling away again.  
‘’Sorry im late, we over ran a little’’ I breathed out as I unscrewed my drink and took a mouthful of it before placing it down again.  
‘’Don’t worry about it honey, you haven’t missed anything although I seem to have missed a whole lot this morning’’ Sutan spoke out and I looked up at him before shrugging.  
‘’Andie pissed me off and I snapped and I kinder told her to stay away from me and my family and to stay away from my son, ‘’ I told him as he nodded, ‘’And the hallway might have been semi full at the time’’ I mumbled out as I started to unwrap my sandwich and took a bite.  
‘’He done good though, stood up for himself, im proud of him’’ Adam spoke out as I felt his fingers run through my hair and I grinned a little as I turned and leaned in to his side as his arm came around my waist.  
Swallowing my food own slightly I took another sip of my drink, ‘’I take it that the shocking news that I have a son is all around college now’’  
‘’of course darling, something like that would spread quicker than a wild fire’’ Sutan told me as I nodded a little.  
‘’Like ma said yesterday, I can’t hide Hamish away forever and the sooner people know, the soon the shock will be gotten over with’’ I told him as he smiled and patted my leg gently before he went back to his lunch and a soft silence fell between us, every so often I would move against Adam before I turned and wrapped my arms around his waist as he ran his fingers through my hair softly before he pressed a light kiss to the top of my head, reaching in to my bag, I pulled a book out of it and grabbed a pen before I started to work on some more work before Adam’s  hand slipped down and under my top slightly to stroke over my side, a soft smile falling over my lips as I leaned in to him more.  
‘’Really guy’s, would you please stop being so god damn cute, it’s starting to make me feel lonely again’’ Sutan spoke out before we both laughed and I sat up to look over at him before leaning over and pressed a kiss to his cheek.  
‘’Aww, what happened to the bar tender Andy?’’ I asked him as I pushed my book away and finished my lunch off.  
‘’Had a few dates but haven’t seen him in a while’’ Sutan told me as I frowned, ‘’Oh don’t look at me like that Tommy, he hasn’t been in work, he’s just probably ill or something’’ Sutan said with a shrug as I laughed softly and buried myself back in to Adam’s side again.

 

‘’So I was thinking, after class I’ll come get little man with you and then drop you off home, before heading back to mine to inform my mom about everything, actually no,  I’ll give her a ring in a bit, but then hopefully that give you enough time to get some things together for the night and whatever you need tomorrow’’ Adam told me as we walked through the hallways and towards the library again, his arm over my shoulder as I nodded against his side.  
‘’Sounds alright to me, Hamish is going to love that, just be warned he might get attached and want you to pick him up from school every day’’ I joked out to Adam as he laughed,  
‘’Then I will if he truly wanted me to’’ He told me and I stopped slightly before mock glaring up at him,  
‘’You are not going to spoil my son rotten, im for that’’ I grinned out at him as he laughed and pulled me closer again,  
‘’Well tough, you have to learn that im going to spoil you both,’’ He whispered out to me as I smiled at him , ‘’And what ever my boys want is what they are going to get’’ He whispered in to my ear before his lips brushed over my cheek and I felt myself blush slightly.  
‘’I wouldn’t let Hamish hear that or he will take you for a run, trust me, I found out the hard way’’ I mumbled out to him with a grin as he nodded.  
‘’So end of classes, I’ll meet you out front by the car’’ Adam smiled out to me and I nodded with my own smile,  
‘’Yup,’’ I couldn’t help but grin slightly as Adam brushed his lips over mine again before he pulled away with a smile and started to walk back down the hallway again and I turned in to the library to finish off some work before heading over to the music department to find Sutan again.  
  
Finding the books which I needed, I settled down in to one of the empty tables near the back of the room and started to pull my work out and laid it around in front of me before I found my Ipod and put my headphones in and pressed play, my music playing quietly as I started to finish things up.

.o0o.

Feeling a headphone get taken out, I looked up quickly to see Gus stood there and I swallowed slightly before he sat down across from me,  
‘’what do you want?’’ I asked him as I started to pack my books away again,  
‘’Look, I don’t want to start any trouble okay, I meant what I said the other day, If I had known about your son and how hard life was for you…I…I wouldn’t of done what I have been doing’’ He told me quietly and I stared at him.  ‘’But I don’t want to do anything like that and im going to back off a lot’’ He told me as I swallowed slightly,  
‘’But why?’’ I asked him,  
‘’because I know how hard it is to bring a kid up’’ He told me and I frowned slightly as he kept his eyes on the table.  
‘’I don’t understand where you are taken this.’’ I told him as I pulled my other headphone out and turned my music off.  
‘’Your son, it must be hard bringing him up on your own with college and then work, im sure you might have some help but it’s mainly just you looking after him’’ Gus said and I nodded slightly. ‘’I know what’s that like…I used to have a daughter’’ He told me softly and I stared at him in shock slightly as he glanced around and then back to me again.  
‘’How do you mean, used too?’’ I asked him lightly,  
‘’I had her because her mom used to be in to drink and drugs and when my daughter was born she was an addict too because of the drugs her mom used while pregnant with her. But everything was cleaned up and then I lost her one night to cot death,’’ He whispered and I breathed out slightly, ‘’that’s why I became like I was, I couldn’t deal with the grief of her death and I don’t think I will but I know what I’ve been doing to you has been wrong, all the marks I’ve left on your body im sure your son has asked about them?’’ He asked and I nodded a little.  
‘’Yeah he has, but I can normally think something up to cover them.’’ I told him as he nodded slightly. ‘’There’s been a few times when I haven’t been able to think of something but I’ve managed to hide it well enough from him.’’ I told him as he nodded again before reaching in to his bag and pulled his wallet out before a photo and passed it along the table towards me.  
‘’She looked like her mom but she had my eyes as my mom kept telling me’’ He chuckled softly as I picked the photo up and smiled softly.  
‘’She’s beautiful’’ I told him honestly as he nodded and passed the photo back, ‘’what was her name?’’ I asked him and he smiled gently.  
‘’Faith, we named her when she was four months old, the doctors told us that she might not of lived past a month but I always kept faith and I just knew that was the name for her’’ He smiled out and I returned it softly, ‘’I know that my story isn’t the same as yours and from what you said to Andie here and when we saw you at the Zoo, I don’t think what she done was right to you.’’ Gus admitted and I nodded slightly before looking down at the table again.

‘’It was hard at first when I first had Hamish with me, I had to give everything up to look after him and I knew I had to do good with my grades so I could get a decent paying job so I can get him through school and college himself.’’ I told Gus as he nodded, ‘’But he has turned out to be the best thing in my life and I wouldn’t change anything.’’  
‘’How old is he?’’ Gus asked and I laughed slightly.  
‘’Four, but he turns five on Halloween’’ I told him, a soft laugh leaving his own lips as he looked over my arms and then at me.  
‘’They grow up quickly don’t they’’ Gus grinned and I nodded,  
‘’They do,  he’s been in my life since he was 18 months and its been a whirlwind past few years and with Adam in our lives now, I…I honestly don’t know how I got so lucky’’ I laughed out as he grinned.  
‘’I really didn’t think Adam was gay, I know he didn’t like the names and jokes but some people just don’t, I never thought once, even with the makeup and nail polish and the way he dressed,’’ Gus laughed as he sat back, ‘’But you look good together and he looks like he cares about your son’’ I nodded to his words with a smile before I glanced up to see Sutan walking towards us, a frown on his face as he noticed Gus was sat there as he got closer to the table.  
‘’Sutan, I thought I was coming to meet you at the stage?’’ I asked and he nodded,  
‘’Yeah, I finished up what I needed so I came to find you instead, looks like I done the right thing’’ He told me as he sat down and eyed Gus as he swallowed.  
‘’Actually, I was just here talking, saying sorry for the way I have acted over the past few years towards Tommy, but I should get off now,’’ Gus told him before he started to stand up, ‘’and Tommy, don’t ever waste a moment with your kid, you would regret it if you did.’’ He told me and I nodded softly to him.  
‘’I know, and thank you for talking to me like you did, it means a lot’’ I told him back as he smiled a little and started to walk away.

‘’What was that all about?’’ Sutan asked once Gus had left and I turned back to look at him and shrugged slightly,  
‘’He just told me the reason behind why he was like he was and to say sorry,’’ I told him as Sutan raised his eyebrow slightly, ‘’Look, its not my story to tell, as much as Gus as hurt me in the past, im not going to tell others his secrets Sutan, you should know that’’ I whispered as he sighed and nodded.  
‘’I know, but Im just looking out for you honey’’ Sutan told me and I laughed slightly as I smiled at him,  
‘’I know and im glad of that’’ I told him with a smile as I finished pushing my books in to my bag,  
‘’Let’s go,  it’s been a long day for both of us’’ Sutan spoke out and I laughed in agreement before we both stood and headed out of the library before walking along the hallways until we got to the carpark and he paused,  ‘’I forgot some notes in the stage, but I will see you tomorrow and I will give you more details of this gig coming up honey’’ He told me and I nodded.  
‘’It sounds good,’’ I told him before he headed back down the hallway again and I headed outside and glanced back over my shoulder quickly.

‘’Daddy’’ I turned slightly before I saw Hamish running towards me, laughing slightly I crouched down and picked him up as he jumped up at me and kissed his cheek.  
‘’And what do you think you are doing here Mr.?’’ I asked him as he giggled slightly,  
‘’Papa picked me up early and we went and got Ice cream’’ He beamed out and I bit my lip slightly as I smiled and started to walk back towards the gates, ignoring the looks I was getting from people from college.  
‘’You are spoiling him’’ I mocked glared out to Adam again as I saw him leaning against the side of the car, a grin on his face as he shrugged and pushed away and walked over to us.  
‘’Daddy stop being mean to my Papa,’’ Hamish glared at me before holding his hands out to Adam who took him, laughing I stuck my tongue out before I crossed my arms in front of me,  
‘’I hope you don’t mind, my class got canceled and I couldn’t find you so I thought I would pick the monster here up and then come get you’’ Adam told me before pressing a soft kiss to my cheek.  
‘’Daddy…daddy Uncle Sutan is coming, can I go to him?’’ Hamish asked and I glanced over my shoulder and nodded before Adam put him down, turning I looked up at Sutan again before I quickly grabbed Hamish’s arm.  
‘’Actually no baby, im sorry, Uncle Sutan will come see you in a bit’’ I told him as I noticed Andie trying to talk to him, swallowing a little I saw her look towards me before her eyes flickered down to Hamish and I picked him up again.  
‘’But Daddy I want to go’’ He whined and I turned to look at him,  
‘’I said no Hamish, now we are going to get you in to Adam’s car, and then we are going to go home okay’’ I told him before Adam’s arm came around my waist slightly.  
‘’Too late’’ He whispered and I looked up to see Sutan’s eyes widen slightly as he noticed Hamish in my arms and then glanced over at Andie who was still next to him.  
‘’Hi’’ She whispered to Hamish who just stared at her before looking up at me and I shook my head slightly.  
‘’Im not allowed to talk to strangers’’ He told her before he turned and smiled at Sutan who smiled back before he turned around to Adam, ‘’Can we get in your car now papa, I want to show you my picture I done for you’’ He asked before I let him climb in to Adam’s arms and watched as he turned and walked back to the car.  
‘’Im not a stranger to him’’ Andie tried telling me and I shook my head slightly before glancing back to make sure Hamish was out of hearing range before I turned back.  
‘’Like I told you Andie, he doesn’t know who you are…in his life he has no mom and that’s how its going to stay, if he wants to find you once he’s 18 then fine I will let him but until then, my son only has his daddy and papa.’’ I told her before I stepped closer to Sutan and kissed his cheek. ‘’I’ll see you tomorrow’’ I told him as he nodded.

Walking away from them, I couldn’t help but grin slightly before I shook my head and watched as Adam closed the door to the back seats and turned to smile at me. ‘’You ready’’ nodding to him, I leaned up and pressed a kiss against his lips before I headed around his car and got in to the passengers side as Adam climbed in behind the drivers wheel and started the car up again.  
‘’Daddy look’’ Hamish spoke out and I turned slightly to look over at him with a smile as he held up a picture,  
‘’Looks amazing baby, how about we hang it up when we get home yeah?’’ I asked as he nodded with a smile,  
‘’Can we put it on Grandma’s fridge?’’ He asked before grinning as I nodded.  
‘’Sure baby, but then you have to go pack your sleeping clothes because we are staying at Adam’s tonight’’ I told him as he nodded and pushed his picture back in to his bag again and turned to look out the window as Adam drove.

 

‘’Mom can’t wait to meet you’’ Adam told me as we pulled up in the drive way and I nodded slightly before biting my lower lip, ‘’don’t worry baby, you will be fine, she will love you I promise’’ Adam told me as we got out of the car,  
‘’But what if she doesn’t, I mean I basically shoved you in the deep end without life savers’’ I told him as I started to get Hamish out and he shrugged slightly,  
‘’I really don’t care Tommy, I love you and I want to be here’’  
‘’And me’’  
‘’And I love you too Hamish’’ Adam grinned out to him as he laughed and I put him down, watching him run off in to the house I breathed out a little and grabbed my own bag before Adam came around and took my hand in his softly and started to walk towards the house, ‘’My mom knows about Hamish, I told her and I think she’s happy about it, of course I couldn’t see what she looked like because I was on the phone but it will be fine, now go get yourself sorted out’’ He grinned out to me before pressing a soft kiss against my cheek. Heading in to the kitchen, I placed my bag down on the table before I looked around for Hamish, frowning slightly I followed the thumping sound upstairs and in to our bedroom before I noticed Hamish banging his shoe on the floor.  
‘’Baby what are you doing?’’ I asked as I crossed over and took it from him, untying the laces a little more; I slipped them on to his feet as he held up a small stone.  
‘’It was stuck in my shoe’’ He told me and I grinned slightly before kissing the top of his head.  
‘’Are you sure you’re going to be okay tonight?’’ I asked him seriously, his little eyes looking up at me, ‘’or do you want me to bring the monitors in case?’’ I asked and he nodded softly. ‘’Okay baby, I’ll go find them in a bit, you okay for getting some clothes for tomorrow and to sleep in tonight?’’ I asked as he grinned.  
‘’Of course daddy, I love you’’ He told me quickly as he got up and gave me a hug, hugging him back, I breathed out slightly and returned his little kiss before I watched as he ran out of the room again and I stood.

‘’Ma, do you know where the monitors are?’’ I called out as footsteps came along the hallway and paused behind me as I looked through the cupboard,  
‘’should be on the top shelf. But what for, I thought Hamish didn’t need them anymore?’’ Ma asked and I nodded slightly,  
‘’He don’t but we are staying at Adam’s tonight and I want them just in case’’ I told her as I looked on the top shelf and found the small box quickly, pulling it out I turned and smiled over at her,  
‘’Im so proud of you Tommy and I know your father would be too’’ She told me as I nodded slightly,  
‘’Most of it is because of Adam,’’ I admitted, ‘’He just makes me feel like I can do anything and that it doesn’t scare me like it used too’’ I told her as she smiled and walked over, hugging her back I pulled away with a smile before walking back in to my room again where I put the box on my bed and started to gather some clean clothes up. Pushing it all in to a bag, I headed back downstairs again and in to the living room where Adam was sat with Hamish on his lap, a small bag by his feet as he turned and smiled over at me. ‘’Im ready when you are’’ I told him as he nodded and Hamish moved on his lap, grabbing his bag I walked back out in to the hallway again and picked my own up before I pulled the door open for Adam as he walked out with Hamish in his arm’s still.  
‘’I think he might fall asleep by the time we get to mine’’ He told me and I nodded softy,  
‘’He normally haves a little nap in the afternoon after he’s gotten back from daycare’’ I told him as I closed the door behind us again.

.o0o.

‘’He’s still asleep’’ Tommy told me as I pulled up outside my place and I glanced back at Hamish with a soft smile,  
‘’Put him up in my bed if you want to baby’’ I told him as he nodded slightly, smiling towards him, I reached over and softly ran my thumb across his jaw before I leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to his lips and pulled away again, ‘’I love you’’ I whispered to him a soft smile curling the corners of his lips up as he nodded.  
‘’I love you too’’ He whispered back to me, his eyes full of warmth and trust as I pulled my hand away with a smile and we started to get out the car.  
‘’You are here’’ Turning slightly I glanced over towards the house with a smile,  
‘’Hey mom’’ I called out as she started to walk towards the car, glancing over at Tommy, I smiled softly as I noticed him walk around to the bag and pull the door open before leaning in as he started to undo Hamish’s car seat before carefully picking him up so he didn’t wake up.  Shutting the door for him, I smiled back before I turned back to my mom with a smile and greeted her with a hug.  
‘’Mom, this is Tommy and Hamish like I said on the phone’’ I told her as she nodded and smiled at Tommy,  
‘’It’s nice to meet you dear’’ She told him as she stepped closer and kissed his cheek before looking down at Hamish who had his head tucked in under Tommy’s, ‘’My, he is such a adorable little boy, you must be proud of him’’ She spoke to Tommy who blushed slightly and nodded.  
‘’I am, he’s my life’’ He told her with a smile as he shifted Hamish in his arms again and glanced back towards me with a smile.  
‘’Well…come in, come in, don’t stand out here any longer’’ Mom spoke out quickly and I laughed before shaking my head a little before grabbing the bags from the trunk.  
‘’Im going to show Tommy my room so we can settle Hamish down again’’ I told her as she nodded,  
‘’I’ll make some drinks’’ Mom said before smiling at Tommy again and headed back in to the house.  
‘’See, she isn’t that bad’’ I whispered in to Tommy’s ear as he laugh lightly and I nodded towards the front door, ‘’Come on.’’

Leading Tommy inside, I closed the door behind him before I left him upstairs and along the hall until we came to my room, pushing it open I let him walk in first before I followed and placed the bags down near my desk before I crossed over to my bed and pulled the covers back as Tommy laid Hamish down and started to take his shoes off before he carefully took his jacket off. ‘’Do you mind if I stayed up here with him for a little while?’’ Tommy asked as Hamish stirred and I laughed softly.  
‘’Baby, I don’t mind what you want to do okay’’ I told him as he nodded a little and pulled the covers over the little one,  
‘’I just don’t want him to wake up and freak out because he doesn’t know where he is, and it don’t help that I forgot his teddy either’’ Tommy told me and I nodded before I walked over and ran my hand through his hair softly before resting it on the back of his neck.  
‘’Im not going to stop you from doing anything Tommy, like I just said, I don’t mind what you want to do , Hamish is your son and im not going to get in the way of that’’ I whispered as he nodded. ‘’Im going to go see if mom needs any help with anything’’ I told him before kissing his forehead with a smile, helping him up on to his feet I couldn’t help but smile as I watched him climb on to the bed with Hamish and pull him a little closer, his fingers running over Hamish’s arm softly as he curled in to his father.

 

‘’where’s Tommy?’’ Mom asked as I walked in to the kitchen and I looked up at her to see her stood at the cooker,  
‘’He’s upstairs with Hamish still in case little one wakes up from his nap’’ I told her as she nodded, ‘’And mom be kind, Tommy is nervous as hell as it is meeting you guys’’ I told her as she frowned slightly.  
‘’Why would he be nervous for? We aren’t going to question him’’ she replied and I grinned slightly,  
‘’He’s just worried that you aren’t going to like him because he has a child and because of the way he looks’’ I told her as she laughed softly.  
‘’Well from seeing him outside briefly with his son, I can see that his world revolves around that little boy and he shouldn’t worry about his looks, he’s an handsome boy’’ She told me and I smiled before I walked over and grabbed one of the knives off the side and started to chop up some of the vegetables which was laying on the side.  
‘’He’s worried because of his tattoos and everything, he has a few horror characters on his arms and he’s also worried what people will think of him as a father because him and Hamish often watch horror films.’’ I told her before I felt her eyes on me.  
‘’How old is Hamish anyway?’’ She asked and I paused slightly as I thought back to when he was in the hospital.  
‘’He’s four’’  
‘’and he watches horror films with no trouble?’’ I nodded slightly before a soft laugh escaped her lips which caused me to turn and look at her. ‘’In a way, that’s a good thing, he wont be scared of the boogeyman and other things as he grows up.’’ Mom told me before I laughed and nodded softly.

‘’Adam’’ Turning I grinned slightly and put the knife down again as I turned and hugged Jane as she came running over quickly,  
‘’Hey you, ‘’ I grinned out as I kissed the top of her head softly.  
‘’Can we meet up with Tommy and Hamish soon, I liked it when we went to the zoo together’’ She grinned out and I laughed softly,  
‘’they are both staying here tonight’’ I told her, her face brightening up even more as she clapped.  
‘’Where are they? Can I go see them?’’ She asked and I chuckled softly before nodding.  
‘’In my room but you can go and see Tommy, but you will have to be quiet because Hamish is having a nap at the moment’’ I told her as she smiled and ran off out of the kitchen.  
‘’Well, I see that they have made an impact on Jane’’ Mom spoke out and I looked over at her with a smile as I nodded,  
‘’I know, Hamish and her got on like a house on fire when we went out the other day,’’ I smiled as I went back to chopping up and then added it to the pan which mom was stirring.  
‘’How is Tommy anyway, I remember you saying how that girl showed up again at the house and today in college?’’ She asked and I nodded as I washed my hands and grabbed the tea towel to dry them off.  
‘’She did, I think Tommy was a bit shaken up after everything because he had admitted to having a kid in when Andie was trying to push Tommy in to letting her see Hamish again, but I think he is alright, he’s a strong person on the inside and out.’’ I told her as she nodded and walked towards the kettle.  
‘’Tommy’s asleep too’’ Jane’s voice called out as she walked in to the kitchen and I looked over at her and then back again before nodding.  
‘’Poor boy, I don’t blame him after having to deal with that girl again’’ Mom spoke out and I smiled softly before I accepted the cup of tea she handed me.  
‘’Where’s dad too?’’ I asked her after I realized that him and Neil wasn’t at home,  
‘’Gone to finish picking the rest of Neil’s stuff up, they should be back any time soon actually.’’ Mom said and I nodded softly before I walked towards the patio doors and pushed them open and moved out to sit on the decking.

 

‘’But they are strangers daddy’’ Hearing Hamish’s voice, I paused outside my bedroom door before leaning against it as Tommy’s soft laugh ran through my room.  
‘’I know baby, but it’s okay to talk to them, they are Adam’s family so you are allowed to talk to them okay’’ Tommy whispered out as there was a movement of fabric and then footsteps. Pushing myself away from the wall, I turned and walked in to the room before I felt Hamish run in to my legs and I laughed a little before picking him up.  
‘’Well hello sleepy head, decided to join us’’ I grinned out to him as he smiled and nodded before I looked towards Tommy with a soft smile. ‘’How are you feeling’’ I asked him as he blushed and shrugged a little.  
‘’Better, but I honestly didn’t mean to fall asleep’’ He told me and I chuckled softly.  
‘’It doesn’t matter Tommy, you needed some sleep anyway.’’ Watching as he nodded, I put Hamish back down again before ruffling his hair which caused him to laugh, ‘’Go get your shoes on Squirt, I know Jane’s out in the back garden and she’s looking forward to being able to play with you again’’ I told him as he grinned and moved back towards my bed nd pushed his feet back in and quickly tried to tie his laces.  
‘’All done, can I go play daddy?’’ He asked Tommy before he nodded and Hamish grinned.  
‘’Let’s go show you the way’’ I told him before holding my hand out, watching as he ran back over and take it, I smiled at Tommy before heading out my room and downstairs again.

‘’This must be Hamish I’ve heard all about’’ Dad spoke out as we walked in to the kitchen, feeling Hamish pull his hand out of mine, I laughed softly as he moved and hid behind Tommy’s legs as he stepped inside, his eyes moving around before down at Hamish as he smiled.  
‘’Say hello then’’ Tommy whispered to him as he tried to get Hamish out from behind him,  
‘’But they are strangers’’ Hamish whispered back, causing us to laugh softly as Tommy crouched and smiled at him,  
‘’I told you, you can talk them because they are Adam’s parents’’ Tommy told him softly as Hamish nodded and looked over at my dad,  
‘’Hello’’ He spoke out quietly and I smiled down at him before he hid back in to Tommy’s legs again.  
‘’It’s nice to meet you Tommy’’ Dad turned around and said before he stood and offered his hand out towards Tommy who glanced at me before slowly reaching out and shaking it.  
‘’It’s nice to meet you too sir, you might have to excuse Hamish, he gets a little shy sometimes’’ Tommy told him as he smiled before reached down to run his fingers through Hamish’s hair, I could see my dad watching him as he nodded.  
‘’There’s no need for the formal, just called me Eber son’’ Dad spoke out as Tommy blushed slightly and nodded before footsteps ran in to the room.  
‘’Tommy’’ Jane yelled before she ran over and hugged in to his side, the shock clear on his face before he laughed slightly and hugged her back, ‘’Can Hamish come play with me out in the garden?’’ She asked and he nodded softly before she smiled and took Hamish’s hand and led him outside.  
‘’Would you like a coffee dear’’ Mom asked as Tommy turned to look at her,  
‘’Uhm, I don’t mind m’am’’ Tommy told her before she laughed and rolled her eyes slightly before walking back to the kettle and turned it on again.

‘’Where’s Neil too?’’ I asked my dad before he nodded towards the stairs,  
‘’Up in his room unpacking the last few boxes of his’’ He told me as I nodded and looked towards Tommy to see him looking out the doors towards Hamish and Jane.  
‘’They are fine you know’’ I told him quietly as I stepped closer to him and his eyes flicked up to mine with a small smile,  
‘’I know,’’ He told me softly, ‘’Knowing that he isn’t in harms way and that he’s fine, I still worry about him’’ I laughed softly and wrapped my arms around his waist before pressing a soft kiss to his temple,  
‘’Here you go love’’ Mom spoke out, making Tommy jump slightly before he turned and smiled at her.  
‘’Thank you’’ He told her as he took the cup from her hands carefully and wrapped his own around the warmth before I moved behind him slightly and hugged him from behind.

‘’Mom, im hungry when is dinner ready?’’ A yell came from the top of the stairs and I chuckled softly,  
‘’And that is Neil’’ I told Tommy as he nodded and glanced back out towards the garden again, shaking my head slightly I let him go and took his free hand before pulling him around to the other side of the kitchen table before pulling a chair out for him. ‘’Sit down Tommy, Hamish is fine out there’’ I told him as he blushed again but sat down as I pulled the chair out next to him and sat down myself again as Neil came walking in to the kitchen.  
‘’Dinner will be ready in about an hour and half’’ Mom told him as he groaned slightly,  
‘’Cant we just order it pizza or something and have whatever your cooking for dinner tomorrow?’’ Neil asked before Mom she looked towards dad,  
‘’He does have a point, im sure everyone is pretty hungry’’ Dad told her as she looked at the cooker and then laughed slightly,  
‘’Why not, is your little one allowed it?’’ Mom asked Tommy who looked up suddenly from the garden.  
‘’Sorry…’’ Tommy trailed off slightly as mom smiled,  
‘’Mom asked if Hamish is allowed pizza’’ I told him as he nodded.  
‘’He can have it, sorry for not listening m’am’’ Tommy told her as Neil rolled his eyes and walked towards the pin board and started to look through the menus.  
‘’Tommy dear, like Eber just call me Leila’’ She told him as he nodded softly, grinning to myself, I let my arm lay across the back of his chair before Jane came running in and leaned close to Tommy.  
‘’Hamish fell over and he wants you’’ She whispered to him as he nodded slightly and looked over at me, moving my arm out the way, I took the cup from him and placed it on the table as he followed Jane out in to the garden.  
‘’Is everything okay?’’ Dad asked and as I turned back from the garden.  
‘’Hamish fell over and wanted Tommy’’ I told him as he nodded and looked over towards mom and Neil.

Picking the empty cups up, I walked over to the sink and put them in before I lent against it and looked out the window towards where Tommy was sat on the grass, his legs crossed in front of him as Hamish sat in front of him with his knee slightly bent, jeans rolled up past his knee as Tommy brushed his fingers over his knee with a soft smile before leaning down and pressed a kiss to his knee which had Hamish laughing about something.  
‘’So maybe you will make me a grandma after all’’ Mom whispered to me and I jumped slightly before turning my head to look at her as she smiled, her eyes looking out the window and towards Tommy as Hamish climbed in to his lap and pressed a kiss to his dads cheek before getting up again and tried to help Tommy up, grinning slightly as he stood and grabbed Hamish, I turned back to mom slightly with a soft smile.  
‘’I thought it would be strange at first, going out with someone who has a kid but its felt right from day one’’ I told her as she smiled at me. ‘’It took me a long time to get close enough to Tommy for him to tell me but it was worth the wait’’  
‘’You have always been so caring Adam, but I can see it in your eyes when you look at them both that you love them and maybe this is what Tommy and Hamish needs in their lives’’ Mom told me and I nodded a little before I turned to look out the window again to see Tommy with Hamish in his arms saying something before he lifted him up and then pretended to drop him before settled Hamish back on his feet again as he nodded to Jane and she went running to the shed which left me laughing softly.  
‘’Poor baby doesn’t know what he has just gotten himself in to’’ I laughed as mom looked out and nodded in agreement.

Watching as Jane came back with a bag, I smiled as Tommy sat back down on the grass again as she smiled and started to pull things out before holding out what looked like a tiara, laughing slightly I bit my lip as Tommy took and looked at it before he looked up at Hamish who grinned.  
‘’Oh my’’ Mom muttered out softly as Tommy grinned and pushed it on to his head before sticking his tongue out at Hamish and turned back to Jane again as she pulled out some dress up wings and helped Tommy in to them and then handed him a toy wand. ‘’ I should be worried that he isn’t saying no to any of that dress up but it strangely feels familiar’’ Mom told me and I laughed slightly as I nodded, remembering when I was growing up and always dressing up. Watching as Tommy waved the wand about a little before letting Jane swing him around by his hands, I grinned and leaned on the side a little more before Hamish moved closer and held his hands up and Tommy picked him up to swing around slightly before he sat back down again.  
‘’He really would do anything for Hamish’’ I told her as she smiled and we both turned back out to the window as Tommy started to take it all off again before Hamish jumped on him and knocked him over, laughing softly I shook my head as he started to tickle Tommy.  
‘’Mom, food’s here’’ Neil yelled out before we both turned,  
‘’be right there Neil’’ Mom called back before she turned and smiled at me, ‘’you are good for those boys, before you know it the little one will be calling you daddy too’’ She smiled at me and I grinned slightly.  
‘’He already calls me papa sometimes’’ I admitted to her quietly as he eyes widened slightly and she laughed before nodding.

Washing my hands up, I pushed away from the counter and headed outside to see Tommy laid on the ground with Hamish sat on top of him and Jane on his legs as he turned his head with a soft laugh and looked towards me.  
‘’Help’’ He pleaded as I laughed and walked closer to him again,  
‘’Come on guys, time to clean up and have dinner’’ I told them, watching as Jane got up and ran inside, I grabbed Hamish and twirled him around before resting him against my hip as he laughed and clung on to me.  ‘’Think you can wash your hands by yourself?’’ I asked him as he smiled and nodded. ‘’Go on then you monster’’ I told him as I set him down again, grinning as he ran off, I turned back to Tommy and offered him my hands before I pulled him up and closer to me.  
‘’Thanks’’ He told me as I smiled and nodded,  
‘’I kinder miss the wings already, my little pixie’’ I grinned out as he laughed slightly, his cheeks warming up before I let my fingers slide between his, ‘’Mom loves you by the way’’ I told him quietly as he nodded with a smile.  
‘’At the moment’’ He whispered and I shook my head slightly before I touched my finger under his jaw and tilted it up slightly,  
‘’Mom loves you Tommy, there’s not going to be anything which you could do or say to change her mind’’ I told him softly as his eyes looked in to mine, smiling softly I leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against his lips again before pulling away and nodded towards the house, ‘’Let’s go eat’’ I told him as he nodded.

‘’So how old are you Hamish?’’ Dad asked him once we had all settled down around the table and had started to eat, a few conversations filling the space before Hamish grinned.  
‘’Im four but five really soon’’ He grinned out as he put his piece of pizza down.  
‘’Oh really, when’s your birthday?’’ He asked and Hamish smiled widely.  
‘’Halloween, that’s when daddy and mommy found me at the bottom of the garden in the dirt.’’ He beamed out before Tommy chocked slightly from beside me and blushed.  
‘’Oh right,’’ Dad grinned out before I turned and looked at Tommy again,  
‘’Why didn’t you tell me that it was his birthday soon?’’ I asked and Tommy shrugged slightly, ‘’Next you will be telling us that it’s yours soon too’’ I joked out before I noticed Tommy blush slightly.  
‘’Daddy’s is soon too, the 18th’’ Hamish grinned out brightly and I glanced over before back to Tommy again as his blush deepened and he quickly picked his drink up and hid behind the cup.  
‘’Tommy’’ I whispered to him as his eyes raised up and he shrugged slightly,  
‘’I didn’t want you to worry and then go spend your money on us when you can put it to better uses for yourself’ He told me quietly and I laughed before I shook my head,  
‘’Adam, why not talk about it later?’’ Mom called out and I looked up at her before nodding slightly, reaching over I let my hand lay next to Tommy’s on top of the table before I hooked my little finger over his and glanced over at him with a soft smile.

  
.o0o.

‘’Baby’’ Adam’s voice called through the semi darkness and I turned slightly to see him walking down with drinks in his hand, a blanket draped over his arm.  
‘’Hey’’ I whispered out as I stood and took the drinks from him,  
‘’what you doing out here?’’ Adam asked me and I smiled softly with a small shrug as I sat back down again and Adam sat next to me,, his hands moving the blanket around us as I leaned in to him and handed his drink back.  
‘’Came out to watch the stars, sorry, I can always come back inside if you want me too’’ I told him quickly as he laughed and shook his head,  
‘’its fine baby, just wanted to make sure you were okay. Hamish is fine by the way, still asleep’’ Adam told me and I laughed slightly,  
‘’I know,’’ I told him as I held the monitor up from beside me with a sheepish grin. ‘’I know that he’s fine here, he’s proved that all night but Im just a little nervous about it.’’ I told him as he laughed and sipped at his drink.    
‘’That’s why you went back up to the room’’ He chuckled as I nodded and tucked it back down beside me again and wrapped both hands around my cup more again, feeling Adams arm slip around my waist I smiled and leaned in to him more again as we sat in silence and finished our drinks, my eyes every so often glancing up at the stars before I moved and put my empty cup down.

 ‘’You know, the stars seem to always shine brighter when im thinking about you’’ Adam whispered to me and I smiled softly before I tilted my head up to look at him,  
‘’You are just being stupid now’’ I grinned out to him as he looked down with a smile before he leaned away and put his cup down.  
‘’No, im being honest, I’ve never seen them as bright in my life before you entered it’’ He told me as he pulled me in to his lap and wrapped his arms and the blanket around my waist tighter.  ‘’And I love that, you make my whole life brighter and with Hamish too I’ve never felt better’’ He whispered, twisting slightly in his lap, I looked up at him with a light smile.  
‘’I love you, please never leave’’ I whispered before he smiled and leaned down, his forehead resting against mine as he breathed out.  
‘’Im never going to walk away from you both, you know that Tommy, when I say im in this for life, I mean im in it for life…I want to take you where ever you want to go, I want to be by your side when Hamish performs in a school play, I want to be with you when he gets his first kiss, whether it be boy or girl I want to be there.’’ Adam whispered to me, ‘’I want to be there for his first dance, his second dance, his prom, his graduation. I want to be sat in the middle row holding your hand as we watch our son go up there; I want to be with you when get gets the letter telling him that he’s been accepted in to the best college in all of the states. But most of all, I just want to be able to come home every night, every moment of the day to you, to be able to hold you like I am now, to touch you, to kiss you’’ He whispered as I looked up in to his eyes, knowing that every word he told me was the truth. ‘’I want to grow old with you Tommy, be in your life forever’’ Adam whispered as I smiled at him and nodded.  
‘’I want that too’’ I whispered back as he smiled at me,  
‘’Can I kiss you?’’ Adam asked softly and I bit my lip to stop me from laughing,  
‘’I think that’s the first time you have ever asked me’’ I whispered back as he smiled.  
‘’You have never complained.’’  
‘’That’s because…I like kissing you Adam’’  
‘’that’s a good thing then because I don’t think I could last being with you forever if you didn’t like my kissing’’  
‘’you’re a dork’’  
‘’But you love me’’  
‘’I know, so are you going to kiss me or not?’’ I asked him with a small smirk as he laughed lightly.  
‘’I don’t know if you deserve my kisses tonight’’ He mumbled out with a small wink as I grinned.  
‘’Fine, I will just go up to bed with Hamish’’ I told him as I started to get up before Adam pulled me back down and I laughed as we fell and laid facing each other on the grass, the stars bright above as I smiled at him.

 ‘’You’re beautiful Tommy’’ Adam whispered as he ran his hand through my hair gently, the blanket over us still, keeping us warm as I blushed.  
‘’I think im starting to believe you’’ I told him as he nodded,  
‘’Im gad baby, and im going to tell you that your beautiful all the time’’ He whispered as I grinned and moved a arm up, my fingers touching against his jaw lightly as I traced it down to his lips and then over his bottom on.  
‘’The very first day I saw you, your freckles were what I noticed, I remember thinking about how kissable your lips looked to me.’’ I told him, my thumb still trailing over his lips before I moved m hand back on to the side of his neck again.  
‘’Well that sounds better then what I thought’’ He laughed softly and I raised an eyebrow slightly, ‘’I saw these big brown eyes staring out from under blonde hair and holding on to his bag strap tightly as if he was scared some big bad lion was going to pounce on you’’ He laughed and I grinned slightly,  
‘’Well I was scared, but now the lion lays with the lamb in peace and harmony’’ I whispered as Adam smiled.  
‘’But I found myself a beautiful lamb’’ He whispered,  
‘’And I found myself a loyal and trust worthy lion’’ I whispered back to him as I heard a door close in the distance, letting Adam pull me a little closer, I softly pressed my lips against his as my hand trailed down on to the side of his neck, the softness of his lips against mine felt amazing, like they belonged against mine before I slowly pulled away and rested my forehead against his softly again with a smile which was mirrored on his own face. ‘’I feel like this is wrong to be laid in your parents garden making out’’ I whispered with a soft laugh,  
‘’Im sure they don’t mind, they like you Tommy and im sure they would love to see more of you’’ He told me as I nodded a little and bit my bottom lip.

Hearing a slight crackle, I sat up slightly and leaned over Adam to grab the monitor before I settled back down against his side and rested my head against his shoulder again as I looked down at the small lights as they flickered.  
‘’What’s wrong baby?’’ Adam asked softly as he trailed his fingers through my hair lightly.  
‘’I thought I heard something’’ I told him softly before another crackle went across and I heard Hamish’s slight whine and I breathed out slightly. ‘’Im going to go check on him’’ I told him before I started to sit up but felt his arm wrap around my waist.  
‘’You stay here, I will go’’ Adam whispered before kissing the side of my head as I nodded softly. Watching as he climbed out from under the blanket and picked the cups up before heading inside, smiling softly I pulled the blanket closer to me suddenly feeling cold without Adam’s warmth beside me before I started to hear Hamish’s light cry start, biting my lip slightly, I glanced up towards the house before back to the sky again as I bit my lip.

‘’Hey buddy, what are you doing awake?’’ Adam’s voice came across the monitor and I bit my lip a little harder again as I pulled the blanket up around me slightly more.  
‘’Nightmare’’ Hamish cried out a little before there was a chuckle and then the sound of rustling and then a soft silence before Hamish soft cry broke through again and then a hushing sound. ‘’I don’t want you to leave me and daddy’’ I heard him tell Adam before I bit my lip and squeezed my eyes shut slightly.  
‘’Baby im not going to leave okay’’  
‘’But what if im too naughty and I make you and daddy angry would you leave then?’’ Hamish asked and I smiled a little before breathing out and looked up at the stars.  
‘’Even then Hamish, im still going to pick you up and hold you tightly because I love you and daddy very much and I promise you that you are never going to feel alone okay, im always going to be here for you when ever you need it, but lay back down baby, it’s time to go back to sleep’’ Adam whispered before there was movement again.  
‘’Adam’’  
‘’Yeah buddy’’  
‘’Will you sing to me?’’  For a while the monitor was quiet and I bit my lip slightly before the intake of breath was heard and a soft laugh.  
‘’Sure kiddo’’ dam told him softly and I moved a little before I pulled the blanket around me a little more as I sat up and looked up as the door opened and I noticed someone walk out and then down the steps before they crossed towards me.  
‘’Thought you would like another drink’’ Adam’s mom said and I smiled gently before I placed the monitor down on the ground before I took it from her.  
‘’Thank you Leila’’ I smiled out before she nodded and looked towards the monitor before chuckling softly.  
‘’I was the same with my boys and Jane, always listening for any sounds from them’’ She told me as she sat down and I nodded softly before Adam’s voice came across lowly and I bit my lip slightly.

_‘’ Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?  
forgive my broken promise that you’ll never see me cry  
and everything, it will surely change even if I tell you I wont go away today  
will you think that you’re all alone  
when no ones there to hold your hand?  
And all you know seems so far away and everything is temporary rest your head  
I’m permanent’’_

Adam’s voice was soft as he sang quietly and I couldn’t help but smile slightly and glance towards Leila as she smiled too and turned to looked at me.  
‘’Haven’t you heard him sing before?’’ She asked and I laughed softly,  
‘’Yeah I have but only briefly, but I haven’t heard so much emotion in it before’’ I told her as she nodded.  
‘’I can see that my son is very much in love with you Tommy, and I believe myself that you love him just as much.’’ Looking up at her words, I nodded softly, ‘’Seeing you this afternoon in the garden with your little boy and Jane made me realize how much Adam cares for you both, I’ve never seen him watch anyone with such adoration in his eyes and the smile which he held was breath taken and I’ve only ever seen that smile and his eyes shine like that once when he was younger and had his first main role in a school performance’’ Leila told me and I smiled before letting a soft laugh escape my lips as I moved slightly and let some of the blanket fall away from me so she could cover herself up.  
‘’I love him with all my heart and I can honestly say that I never thought I could love another person apart from Hamish and my ma, but Adam wouldn’t give up on trying to get in to my life and then he worked his way in to my heart and I really don’t want him to ever leave it.’’ I told her as she smiled and reached her, her fingers pushing my hair behind my ear softly.  
‘’Im sure he wouldn’t even think about leaving’’ She told me and I grinned before nodding.  
‘’I know, but it still scares me a little when the thought comes to my mind that he might leave one day despite how much he tells me he wouldn’t.’’ I admitted as she smiled. ‘’After everything which happened when I was 15 with Andie, I knew that my life was going to change and I turned myself around and started to listen in class and concentrate on my work, I even went out and brought a load of stuff for a baby with my mamas help but then I found out that she had him and I wanted to go see him so badly, I just wanted to hold my little boy in my arms and promise him the best life I could offer but I was stopped’’ I admitted before breathing out a little.  
‘’How did that make you feel?’’ Leila asked and I looked towards the monitor from where it had grown silent before down at my hands.  
‘’Like my heart had been ripped out and repeatedly stabbed’’ I told her. ‘’I refused to leave my bedroom for about a month and every night I went to bed cuddling this teddy I had brought with my first pay check, it was this cute little brown thing, so fluffy with bright glassy eyes which I knew I wanted Hamish to have’’ I grinned out a little. ‘’It’s his favorite procession now, and normally he sleeps with it every night but we both forgot to pack it for tonight.’’  
‘’If you don’t mind me asking, how did you end up with the little one?’’ She asked and I smiled softly as I finished my drink of and placed it on the grass next to my feet.  
‘’When Hamish was about 18 months old, I was in class when I was called in to the office about a phone call which turned out to be my ma asking me to come home, so with permission I got my best friend, the only person to stick by me once I changed the way I acted and we drove back to mine where my ma and dad was waiting in the lounge,  this bundle in the middle of the room just giggling away with the teddy I had brought him’’ I told her with a slight laugh, ‘’I was stunned and just stood there staring before my dad picked him up and walked over to me and I still remember his words, _‘Tommy-Joe as much as an idiot you can be, you are my only son and my diamond in the dust so it’s time you met your little boy’_  it was funny really because my dad never really knew how to be emotional with certain things but the way he looked at me when I took Hamish out his arms…’’ I trailed off slightly as I tried to find the right words to explain it to Adam’s mom.  
‘’It’s a look you will never forget?’’ she asked and I nodded with a smile.

‘’Your father sounds like he is proud of you for the person you have become, most kids your age wouldn’t change the way like you have, you are smart Tommy and I can see that Hamish is going to have the best future ahead of him.’’ Leila spoke out as I smiled and wiped at my eyes slightly, ‘’Are you okay darling?’’ She asked suddenly and I laughed as I looked at her.  
‘’Yeah, im fine, I just miss him you know…my dad I mean, it killed me the day he passed away and my ma tells me that he would be proud of me too’’ I told her as she nodded and pulled me in to a hug, laughing slightly I hugged her back.  
‘’Your mother is right Tommy, you are one fine young man and im glad my Adam has found someone as loving and caring as you are.’’ She told me before pushing me away a little so she could look at me, ‘’so keep a smile on that pretty face of yours because it will get you far’’ She told me, smiling softly, I wiped my eyes again as she kissed my forehead.  
‘’Thank you Leila, talking to you like this meant a lot, I’ve never been this open with anyone other than my family before’’ I told her as she smiled.  
‘’It’s nothing honey, you are part of this family too and you are welcomed here any time you like, even is Adam isn’t here, you can come along, it would be nice to get to know both you and Hamish even more again.’’ She told me before footsteps echoed on the patio and we both turned to look up as Adam walked out and over with a smile.  
‘’I told you that you had nothing to worry about baby’’ Adam told me once he had walked over and I smiled a little, ‘’and it’s good that you guys can talk to each other’’ He grinned out before I frowned at him. ‘’The monitors baby, they are two way’’ He told me and I looked down before blushing deeply as he and Leila laughed.  
‘’Did Hamish go back down okay?’’ I asked Adam as I moved slightly to lean in to his embrace as he nodded,  
‘’He’s fine, should be out till morning now’’ Adam told me as I smiled and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.  
‘’Thank you for sorting him out when you didn’t have too’’ I told him, hearing Leila move I glanced over as she smiled.  
‘’Im going to leave you boy’s alone, but it’s getting late so don’t stay out here too long, wouldn’t want either of you getting ill now’’ She told us with a smile before heading back in to the house again.

‘’What do you say, get changed and in to bed?’’ Adam asked a few moments later before I nodded and quickly stood up and helped him to his feet as he grabbed the monitor and empty cup again, the blanket still wrapped tightly around me as we started to walk back in to the brightly lit house, blinking my eyes clear a few times, I waited for Adam before I let him take my hand and lead me upstairs and towards his room again where I grabbed a pair of lounge pants from my bag and changed in to them quickly as Adam done the same. ‘’We can sleep in the spare room baby.’’ He told me before I bit my lip a little. ‘’It’s that room right there’’ Adam said before pointing across the hall and I laughed quietly as I nodded and walked over to Hamish, kissing the top of his head softly, I pulled the covers up over him more before I followed Adam out the room and across in to the spare room where I climbed in to bed with Adam and quickly curled in to his side.  
‘’I love you’’ I whispered to Adam as he wrapped his arms around me, the feeling of his lips curling in to a smile against the back of my neck felt nice as I moved my hands over his and let my fingers curl between his hands.  
‘’I love you too Tommy’’ Adam whispered to me as he pulled me closer again, a deep breath leaving my lips as I got comfortable and started to fall in to a soft sleep, Adam’s warmth against my back and the warmth of his hand laying over my chest.

 

‘’Daddy…’’ Hearing a whispered voice, I stirred slightly before rubbing my eyes, opening them slowly, I frowned slightly as I noticed that the room was still dark before I saw Hamish stood next to the bed.  
‘’Whats wrong baby’’ I asked with a yawn as he rubbed his eyes,  
‘’Can I sleep in with you and Papa?’’ He asked and I smiled softly before pulling the covers away so he could climb in,  
‘’Just no wiggling about’’ I told him sleepily as he crawled over me and worked himself down in to the small space between me and Adam.  
‘’I promise Daddy’’ He whispered to me,  
‘’Goodnight Hamish’’ I whispered to him before I pressed a kiss to the top of his head and looked up to see bright blue eyes watching me with a smile.

.o0o.

‘’Neil don’t you dare wake them up or you will be I trouble’’ Mom’s voice spoke out in a hushed tone as I moved a little and breathed out, my arm moving up to pull Hamish a little closer to me from where he was laying between me and Tommy, my hand sprawled out across his chest softly, his arms wrapped around mine and Tommy’s as his rested over his waist.  
‘’But it’s not fair that I have to go to school when you are letting Adam stay of college’’ Neil’s voice complained and I frowned a little before blinking my eyes open slowly and glanced towards the door to see that it had been pulled half shut.  
‘’Once you have grown up, you will see and feel what it is like to be woken up at all times of the night Neil, now get downstairs and get yourself ready for school.’’ Mom told him again as I smiled and slowly looked down at Tommy, his eyes still closed and lashes fanning out across his cheek before he shifted slightly on to his side more again and curled his body around Hamish again. In the morning light he looked beautiful and I could feel my heart crashing against my chest again as I slowly closed my eyes and kissed the top of Hamish’s head softly.

I had my boy’s and I wasn’t going to let them go ever.

 

Stirring again, I felt movement on the bed before I opened my eyes to see Hamish sitting up and rubbing his eyes before he turned and looked down at Tommy who was awake too.  
‘’Morning baby’’ I whispered across with a smile as his eyes turned towards me and he returned the smile again.  
‘’Morning’’ Tommy whispered before Hamish moved and climbed up on to my lap with a soft laugh.  
‘’Papa guess what’’ He said excitedly as I moved a little and let my hand rest on his side to hold him still,  
‘’I don’t know, have Freddy appeared somewhere?’’ I asked as Hamish laughed and Tommy moved closer to us.  
‘’Don’t be silly papa Freddy isn’t real, just a movie character, but daddy said I don’t have to go to school today’’ He grinned out and I smiled before glancing over at Tommy.  
‘’What…he would be late anyway if I took him in now so might aswell’’ he told me as I smiled and wrapped my arms around Hamish and pulled him back down between us again, a small scream of laughter leaving his lips as I moved my hand under his top and started to tickle him.  
‘’So we have a monster to keep active all day’’ I grinned out as Hamish laughed,  
‘’Papa stop it…papa’’ He screamed out in laughter again before footsteps came running up the hallway and mom came in to the room with a worried look before it softened.  
‘’Sorry, I thought something was wrong’’ She chuckled as I grinned and let Hamish up as he jumped up and moved towards the end of the bed.  
‘’Papa was tickling me grandma, save me’’ Hamish laughed out as he chucked his arms up and mom stared at him before laughing and picked him up.  
‘’Sorry, just tell him not to call you that if you don’t want him too’’ Tommy said quickly with a blush as he sat up a little and ran his hand over his arm,  
‘’Don’t worry about it dear, I don’t mind, when Adam first told me he was gay I always wondered if he would have children with anyone and make me a grandma, looks like my wishes came true’’ She grinned out towards him as he blushed deeply again and I let my hand rub over his back as he nodded. ‘’Now how about we go find you some breakfast’’ She asked Hamish as he grinned and nodded.  
‘’Yes please’’ He whispered with a smile before mom looked towards us with a small wink and smile before she headed back out the room again, the door closing softly behind her.

Wrapping my arms around Tommy’s waist softly, I pulled him back down on the bed as he laughed softly before turning over in my arms to press his hands against my chest lightly, his lower lip caught between his teeth before he smiled at me softly.  
‘’Thank you for moving here’’ He whispered to me as I ran my fingers through his hair gently.  
‘’Thank my dad, he was the one who found the house’’ I told him as he nodded a little and curled closer to me, his lips pressing a kiss to the under side of my jaw before he stretched slightly.  
‘’Do you mind if I had a shower?’’ Tommy whispered to me and I shook my head gently.  
‘’I don’t mind at all baby, the bathroom’s just down the hall or there’s the one in my room’’ I told him as he nodded, smiling back at him, I brought my hand up to his jaw and kissed him back just as softly before he pulled away and started to climb out of the bed.

 

Stepping in to my room to grab some clothes I looked up towards the far door which was stood ajar slightly, the sound of the shower running as I bit my lip slightly before walking back to my bedroom door and closed it again and flicked the lock across, pulling my sleep pants off, I walked towards my bathroom and inside to see Tommy’s outline through the misty glass a little before I smiled and pushed my boxers down.  
Stepping in to the shower behind him, I let my eyes run over the way his shoulders was bent over a little, his hands pressed against the wall,  moving closer, I let my hands slip around his body and rest over his chest as I kissed his shoulder, his body tensing slightly before it relaxed against my hold as I slowly slipped one of my hands down his chest and over the flat of his stomach as his breath hitched slightly and he brought a hand up over the one on his side as I kissed the back of his neck lightly. Letting my fingers run over his waist and over his hip, I dusted my lips over his wet skin before I lowered my hand down and slowly wrapped my fingers around him lightly at first as his hand joined and we both slowly stroked him before I carefully pushed his hand away and started to stroke him a little more. Holding him against me tightly as his hand clawed at mine, I stepped us forward a little as he pressed his free hand against the wall and breathed out deeply.  
Hearing the soft whimper which left his lips, I smiled softly and pressed light kisses against his neck and trailed them down to his shoulder as a small groan left his lips now and he gripped my arm a little tighter before he let a heavy breath out and bowled his head forward slightly.  
‘’Please don’t vanish’’ He whispered out just under the sound of the shower and I frowned a little before I trailed my hand back up to his stomach, the water washing away any trace as I kissed his shoulder softly.  
‘’Not going anywhere Tommy’’ I whispered to him as he jumped and turned his head slightly to look at me, a blush covering his cheeks as he caught his lip between his teeth.  
‘’So that really just did happen’’ He whispered and I chuckled softly before nodding,  
‘’No imagination here unless you already have before’’ I joked before I let my laughter fade away as I saw his blush deepen, ‘’Have you?’’ I asked as he nodded a little and I grinned before kissing his wet skin again. ‘’What was it like?’’ I asked in a low voice which caused a shiver to run through his body before he leaned back in to me.  
‘’This…it was like you read my thoughts and memories.’’ He whispered to me before he turned around in my arms and pressed his lips against mine, sliding a hand up to his neck, I stepped him back until I felt him lean against the wall and crowded in to his space as I deepened the kiss a little more, a small gasp leaving my own lips as I felt Tommy’s hands wrap around me.  
‘’you don’t have too’’ I breathed out against his mouth, soft touches of kisses as he smiled.  
‘’I know, but I want to’’ He whispered back with a smirk and I chuckled softly as I pressed my lips back against his again before he pulled away and started to move away.  
‘’Tommy…’’ I breathed out a little as I looked at him, his eyes dark as he smirked at me and slowly lowered to his knees as his hands wrapped around me again and I felt him surrounded me with a hotter heat than the water, groaning slightly I shot a hand out against the wall before biting on my lip as I trailed my other hand down to the back of his head and softly tangled my fingers in to his wet hair.  ‘’Shit…’’ I muttered out before leaning my head back slightly, all the sensations quickly filling out over me before I pulled him off and back to his feet again where I crashed my lips against his, the tightness in my stomach quickly flowing out with a groan as I licked in to his mouth.

‘’Mouth of sin’’ I muttered out against his lips softly as our kiss slowly died down until it was just slight touches against each other. ‘’I love you’’ I whispered to him as I slowly opened my eyes and looked in to his brown ones as he smiled.  
‘’I love you too, but I have no idea how im going to be able to go downstairs and look at your mom’’ He whispered and I couldn’t help but laugh,  
‘’Why do you think she took Hamish of our hands for’’ I whispered to him, his eyes widening slightly before he blushed deeply, lips forming a small ‘o’ as I smiled and kissed his cheek. ‘’Come on, lets wash up and then get dressed and go have some real breakfast.’’ I whispered to him before grabbing the soap and started to pour some in to my hands before I ran them over his body softly.

 

‘’Ah, good morning boy’s’’ Dad called out as we stepped in to the kitchen, my hand in Tommy’s as I smiled and walked towards the table,  
‘’Morning’’ I yawned out slightly before sitting down, Tommy doing the same before he glanced around the kitchen and then out in to the garden, his face softening slightly when he saw Hamish,  
‘’Coffee Tommy?’’ mom asked and I watched as he turned and looked at her with a tiny blush before nodding.  
‘’Yes thank you’’ He told her as I smiled and pulled him in to my side slightly, his head resting against my shoulder as we both turned to look out the doors towards the garden before Hamish came running in with a large smile.  
‘’Can we stay here again soon daddy?’’ Hamish suddenly asked and I chuckled softly as I ran my fingers through Tommy’s hair and he smiled.  
‘’It’s not up to me baby’’ He told him before lifting him up on to his lap where Hamish leaned back in to him.  
‘’Papa’’ He asked and I laughed softly,  
‘’only if I don’t have to sing to you every time’’ I teased him as he stuck his tongue out at me.  
‘’You’re mean…grandma papa’s being mean to me’’ Hamish cried out as mom walked over with the drinks and she laughed before playfully swatting her hand across my head.  
‘’You can stay any time you like darling’’ She told him as he grinned and wiggled off Tommy’s lap, watching as he ran around the table and hugged her, I couldn’t help but squeeze Tommy softly and pressed a kiss against the side of his head.

Everything felt perfect and I knew that this was the life I wanted to live with forever, with Tommy by my side and my family; it was like it was always meant to be.  
‘’Can we stay again tonight?’’ Hamish suddenly asked causing us to all laugh before I looked down at Tommy,  
‘’Yeah, can you stay again tonight?’’ I asked as he grinned slightly and nodded.  
‘’Sure’’ He spoke out as I smiled and pulled my drink closer to me and sipped at it. ‘’But only if im allowed to go to college tomorrow’’ Tommy added as I grinned and nodded.  
‘’I promise to set an alarm this time baby’’ I told him as he nodded and relaxed even more in to my side, his eyes watching my parents with Hamish, the smile on his face reaching them for the first time since I had known him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (* Title taking from the song ‘Waiting for the night’ by Depeche Mode)


	12. In this town, don't we love it now? Everybody's waiting for the next surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, im so sorry for such a long wait, its been hard to juggle being back at college with getting a chance to type up a new chapter for this fic as I still dont have my laptop working, so please, any mistakes is at my own doing because of word being lame and not working on my sisters laptop so the last of it had to be typed up on notepad.
> 
> but enjoy,

Waking up alone again felt strange, not having either Tommy or Hamish by my side or in my arms made me miss them even more than normal and made the morning breakfast times a lot quieter, I missed watching Tommy mess around with Hamish as they poured cereal in to bowls or buttered some toast together, it was just seeing Tommy’s smile when he would turn to look at me and find me watching him, the soft glow in his eyes before he would blush and turn back to his son.  
‘’Adam you’re going to be late if you don’t leave soon’’ Mom called out to me and I turned slightly to look towards where she was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, a soft smile on her lips before she walked in and laughed softly, ‘’You’re acting like the boys have been gone for months, not two nights’’ She told me and I shrugged slightly,  
‘’Feels more like years to me’’ I mumbled out before I sighed, ‘’And it’s Tommy’s birthday today and I really don’t know what to do because I have no idea what to get him and now I’m out of time and everything’’ I groaned as she laughed again and walked closer.  
‘’Baby, you could give that boy a piece of paper with the words happy birthday on them and he would love it to death, so stop worrying so much okay and plus, Dia is throwing him a little party later after college so just be your fabulous self and enjoy yourself okay, I’m sure Hamish will jump on you the moment he sees you’’ She told me as I smiled softly and nodded,  
‘’You’re right mom,’’ I laughed as I hugged her tightly.  
‘’Of course I am, that is what mom’s are for’’ She laughed out as I pulled away with a grin and moved towards the kitchen table where I grabbed my bag and car keys.

Walking towards the door, I paused again before I laughed, ‘’that’s it, I know what I’m going to do’’ I grinned before turning to look towards mom,  
‘’what do you want me to do?’’ She asked and I laughed brightly,  
‘’Can you see if Dia will babysit Hamish for us tonight and can I have the house to myself, I know it might not be his thing but I want to cook for Tommy tonight, make it all special and everything, you know candles, music the whole lot’’ I told her as she smiled and nodded.  
‘’I’m sure we can arrange that, I might have to tell Dia what it’s all about’’ She told me as I smiled,  
‘’It’s fine, just as long as Tommy don’t find out, I want it to be a surprise’’ I laughed before I walked back over and kissed her cheek softly, ‘’I will see you later mom’’ I told her before I quickly headed out the house and got in to the car before heading off towards college.

  
Morning classes seemed to both drag and go by fast as lunch time finally rolled around and I managed to get out the room quickly, heading along the hall, I checked in different places around college before I moved towards the courtyard, eyes scanning around for Tommy like I had been doing all day until I headed towards a table where a few people was sitting who I had seen Tommy tutor.  
‘’Hey have any of you seen Tommy around?’’ I asked as they looked towards me.  
‘’Have you tried the tutoring rooms?’’ One of them asked me as I nodded, ‘’How about the stage?’’  
‘’That was the first place I looked, he isn’t there’’ I mumbled out as I let my eyes run over the court yard again in chance of seeing him.  
‘’Then I have no idea where he can be, sorry’’ The guy told me as I nodded and sighed,  
‘’Thanks anyway’’ I told him.

Walking away, I tried to think of any other places which Tommy might have been, but kept coming up empty.  
‘’Honey’’ Turning, I smiled towards Sutan slightly before it fell again, ‘’okay what’s wrong?’’ He asked as I shrugged slightly and turned to the grass before I placed my bag down and sat beside it.  
‘’I’ve been trying to find Tommy all day, I know that he is here because I have seen him around campus but I’ve been busy and I could tell that he was too so I haven’t actually kissed or even said hi, let alone happy birthday to him today, what kind of boyfriend am I?’’ I gushed out as Sutan laughed softly and sat down beside me.  
‘’First, Tommy was here, left just before lunch started, he had to go talk to someone about hiring a place out for Hamish’s birthday and secondly, you make a great boyfriend, even I regret not trying to get you’’ Sutan winked at me as I laughed lightly before I sighed again.  
‘’Why didn’t he tell me?’’ I asked as he opened his lunch,  
‘’Honey, he feels bad enough that he forgot how close Hamish’s birthday was, he normally has it all planned out at least a month or so before’’ Sutan explained to me before I groaned a little.  
‘’I wish he had told me, I would’ve helped him out’’ I told him before he laughed and placed his hand on my arm.  
‘’He is very dependent on himself Adam, you should know that by now’’ He told me before I nodded a little and went back to scanning the crowd again for Tommy in case he had come back already.  
‘’I know, but I want to do something to help out I just don’t know what, isn’t a father figure meant to know that?’’ I groaned out as I laid back and stared up at the sky before I looked back to see Sutan staring at me with a smile.  
‘’You realize that you just called yourself a father figure’’ Sutan told me as I smiled softly,  
‘’Well I guess I do feel like one, I mean Hamish does call me papa every so often and when I think of him and Tommy, I think of them as my boy’s’’ I told him.  
‘’Well I’m just glad you love them both.’’  
‘’I don’t know how anyone couldn’t love them, I mean after meeting Andie and then hearing everything which happened, I just can’t…’’ Trailing off, I sighed slightly, ‘’I don’t know, I just can’t ever walk out of Tommy’s life, and then with Hamish, god he’s just a kid, but it would be even harder to walk away from him. They are my life and I wouldn’t want to change that, I couldn’t turn my back on two people who worked their way in to my heart without even trying’’ I explained as Sutan smiled, his hand tapping my arm softly before going back to his lunch again. ‘’I mean, you have been there since day one so you know what I mean don’t you?’’ I asked as Sutan nodded.  
‘’I do and I’m grateful that someone like you came along because you have done good for Tommy, he’s like a different person, not hiding away now and I never thought I would see the day where Tommy and Gus can sit down at a table and talk without any remarks or comments being thrown around or anyone being pushed in to something, it’s wonderful’’ He told me as I smiled and nodded.

 

‘’Well I have afternoon classes to get too, so I assume I will see you later at Tommy’s?’’ Sutan asked me as we started to walk back towards the main college building as I smiled.  
‘’Of course but I will be a little later as there’s something I have to do before hand, but I need you to make sure that Tommy is dressed up nicely’’  
‘’Oh really now, may I be included in this little surprise so I know how to dress him’’ Sutan asked, his eyebrow raised and hand on hip as I laughed.  
‘’I’m going to cook him dinner, hopefully Dia and mom will babysit Hamish so I have my place to myself so me and Tommy can have dinner together’’ I told him as he smiled adoring at me.  
‘’I need to get myself a man like you Mr. Lambert’’ Sutan teased as I laughed and kissed his cheek,  
‘’so you think you can do it for me?’’ I asked as he nodded,  
‘’Of course darling’’ Smiling, I watched Sutan walk away before I headed out to the car park and got in to my car, I wanted everything to go perfectly tonight, thinking everything through as I started the car up, I slowly pulled out of the campus car park and started to drive back home to check on the ingredients to see if I had to go out and buy anything else before making a start on dinner.

 

‘’Ma, I’m home’’  Shutting the door behind me, I let a deep breath out  and rested my forehead against the door, I still had no idea what I was going to do for Hamish’s birthday this year as I didn’t seem to have a lot of money and I wanted to make his fifth birthday special. Turning around, I dropped my keys off in to the bowl which sat on the table beside the door before soft footsteps came running across the floor, turning my head slightly, I smiled as Hamish came running over and jumping I to my arms as I held them out to him.  
‘’Daddy, daddy guesses what…grandma Leila is here and she brought cake and sweets and soda, can I have a soda daddy please…I’ve been a good boy today’’ Hamish quickly spoke out to me as I carried him in to the kitchen and smiled towards Ma and Leila.  
‘’Coffee’’ Ma asked and I smiled at her thankfully before nodding as I walked over to the table and sat down, Hamish I my lap before he leaned slightly and picked up a half eating chocolate bar and started to eat it again as he sat back, smiling softly at him, I ran my fingers through his hair as he turned and smiled brightly at me, my own smile forming on my lips before it fell slightly as he turned away again.

‘’You seem distracted’’ A voice spoke out and I looked up suddenly to see that Ma and Leila were both staring at me.  
‘’Yeah, sorry did you say something to me?’’ I asked as Ma frowned slightly,  
‘’I asked if you were okay honey’’ She told me before I shrugged a little and moved my hands up to Hamish’s ears and covered them which made him giggle.  
‘’I didn’t get the place I was looking at for him’’ I told her quickly as Hamish worked my hands off his ears, ‘’Baby go play out in the garden’’ I told him as he turned and looked at me.  
‘’Can I take my chocolate?’’ He asked and I nodded slightly before helping him down and watched as he ran outside.  
‘’I went to talk to that guy I mentioned, but he had already hired the place out on his birthday for some party, so I have no idea what I’m going to do Ma’’ I told her with a sigh, ‘’I feel so bad because I have nothing sorted out this year and I don’t want to disappoint him.’’  
‘’Have a little party at ours’’ Leila spoke out and I turned to look at her as she smiled at me brightly.  
‘’I can’t do that to you’’ I told her as I thought about Hamish’s friends.  
‘’Tommy, the house and garden is big enough,  when the boys were younger, me and Eber used to throw child friendly Halloween parties, sure we haven’t done it in a long time because Adam and Neil is a lot older now, but it’s Hamish’s birthday, so why not throw one for both his birthday and Halloween? You can invite all his friends and some of yours too if you wanted too.’’ She told me and I smiled at her softly before I turned to look out the door at Hamish who was crouched watching something on the grass before I nodded and turned back.  
‘’Thank you so much’’ I told her as she laughed softly.  
‘’You don’t need to thank me sweetie, you are part of the family now’’ She told me and I could feel my eyes watering up before I laughed and wiped at them.  
‘’Sorry, it’s just all new’’ I laughed out as Ma and Leila laughed themselves and nodded.

  
‘’Okay, what are you doing baby?’’ I asked Hamish as I walked out the kitchen again and over to where he was crouched watching the dirt again, his messy face turning to look at me.  
‘’I’m waiting for yours and papa’s baby to appear in the dirt like I did’’ He told me and I laughed softly before another laugh joined and I turned slightly to see Sutan stood against a tree with a smile.  
‘’That is adorable’’ He spoke out as he walked over and I grinned a little before picking Hamish up before he wiggled in my hold and held his arms out to Sutan.  
‘’It where daddy and mommy found me’’ Hamish explained loudly with a smile as he threw his arms around Sutan’s neck as he smiled.  
‘’I’m sure daddy did you little monkey, now how about we take daddy back inside and make him open some of his present’s so we can play dress up with him later?’’ Sutan asked and I frowned slightly.  
‘’Wait dress up? But why’’ I asked as Sutan looked back and winked at me,  
‘’you will find out honey’’ He smiled before holding his hand out to me, rolling my eyes slightly I took it and let him lead me back inside and in to the lounge where everyone was. ‘’Found them playing out in the dirt’’ Sutan exclaimed and I grinned slightly.  
‘’No Uncle Sutan, I was waiting’’ Hamish grinned out before Sutan put him down and pushed me in to one of the chairs.  
‘’Waiting for what honey?’’ Ma asked and he turned with a large smile.  
‘’For daddy’s and papa’s baby to grow’’ Hamish told them and I covered my face slightly with my hand as I felt my cheeks warm up slightly.  
‘’It’s a long story, I will explain it…one day’’ I mumbled out as they laughed.

Watching as everyone moved around and then lights suddenly went out, I laughed slightly and shook my head as happy birthday started to be sung and I felt my cheeks warm up slightly, I felt like a small kid again as Ma stopped in front of me, shaking my head slightly, I leaned forward and blew the candles out before claps echoed through the room and the light was turned on again.  
‘’Yay daddy, did you make a wish?’’ Hamish asked as he crawled up in to my lap and I thought slightly before I shook my head.  
‘’No I didn’t squirt’’ I told him as he pouted slightly.  
‘’But why, you are meant to make a wish when you blow the candles out.’’ He told me.  
‘’But what do I need to wish for? I have everything I want already’’ I told him softly with a smile, I knew it was true, I did have everything I wanted, a great family and now extended family, friends and a sort of easy life and Adam.  
‘’But you still need to wish Daddy’’ Hamish said, his little arms crossing over in front of his chest.  
‘’Okay, okay I will make a wish’’ I told him, a smile appearing on his lips.  
‘’You have to close your eyes too or it won’t work’’ He smiled and I laughed slightly and nodded before closing them, waiting a few seconds, I opened them and smiled at him.  
‘’There, I made a wish’’ I told him as he smiled.  
‘’What did you wish for?’’ He asked as a laughs escaped everyone else.  
‘’You can’t ask that honey, birthday wishes have to be kept a secret’’ Leila spoke out as Hamish turned and pouted slightly.  
‘’No it’s okay, I’ll tell him’’ I grinned out, ‘’I wished that a big bucket of slime would appear so I could dunk you in it’’ I told Hamish before he laughed.  
‘’Daddy you are a bad liar’’ He grinned out and I smirked slightly,  
‘’Am I now’’ I grinned out as I started to tickle him, his arms moving to mine quickly as he started laughing loudly.

Sitting back on my knees again, I laughed as Hamish jumped up and ran off in to the kitchen and I let my eyes look around the place before I frowned slightly, pushing myself up I followed everyone out in to the kitchen again where I found Sutan whispering to Leila and Ma before stopping as he saw me.  
‘’Has anyone seen Adam?’’ I asked and Sutan looked towards the others before back to me again,  
‘’He isn’t here yet, said that he would be a bit late’’ He told me as I nodded a little,  
‘’Oh right’’ I said softly as I nodded a little and looked towards where Hamish was trying to reach up on to the side, walking over I breathed out softly as I lifted him up and sat him on the side where he picked his cup up and started drinking from it. Leaning over, I grabbed a cloth and moved back again and wiped it over Hamish’s jeans as he spilt some juice on it.  
‘’Can I change them, it feels sticky’’ Hamish asked as I nodded, putting the cloth down, I took the cup from him and pushed it away before picking him up again.  
‘’Tommy’’ Turning slightly, I looked towards Leila,  
‘’Just going to get him changed’’ I told her as she smiled softly.  
‘’I know, but he is going to be here okay’’ She told me and I nodded slightly,  
‘’I know’’ I shrugged out before heading out the room and up to our bedroom where I set Hamish down on my bed and started to take his shoes off before I helped him out his jeans. Throwing them in the wash basket, I headed over to the drawers and found some other jeans and another top again before I headed back over and knelt back down on the floor again and smiled up at Hamish as he grinned.  
‘’I love you daddy’’ Hamish told him and I chuckled softly as I nodded.  
‘’I know baby, and I love you too okay’’ I told him as I moved his jeans over his feet and handed him his clean top to put on himself. ‘’what are you doing, you Muppet’’ I laughed out as Hamish struggled with his top, shaking my head, I worked it around the right way before I pulled it down and helped him to stand, pulling his jeans up, I finished doing them up as he jumped to sit down again and I grabbed his shoes.  
‘’Do you love papa daddy?’’ Hamish asked and I looked up at him softly before nodding. ‘’don’t go away like mommy did’’ He told me and I sat back slightly as I frowned.  
‘’Why would you think I would ever go away baby, I’m not going anywhere okay’’ I told him as I moved closer and ran my fingers through his hair softly. ‘’you can always count on me being here when you need me’’ I whispered as he smiled and nodded. Sitting back again, I looked away from him and started to pick his dirty clothes up as he moved.  
‘’Adam!’’ Hamish yelled out before he quickly scrambled off the bed and ran past me, turning I saw him stood in the doorway before he moved and picked Hamish up as he reached him with a smile.  
‘’Hey kiddo, you keeping daddy busy?’’He asked as Hamish giggled. Standing slowly, I turned and pushed my sleeves up as Adam looked up with a soft smile which I returned.  
‘’Hey’’ I spoke out as I walked over to the basket and threw the clothes in,  
‘’Hey yourself, sorry I’m late, there was something I had to sort out, hope I didn’t miss anything’’ Adam said softly as I shook my head with a smile.  
‘’No you didn’t, your okay’’ I told him before Hamish pouted slightly.  
‘’Don’t lie daddy, papa missed you blowing your candles out on the cake’’ He spilled out and I smiled softly as I shook my head.  
‘’I hope you haven’t eating it all already you little monster’’ Adam gasped out as he tickled Hamish’s stomach and he screamed out in laughter.  
‘’No I didn’t but Uncle Sutan might…quick to the kitchen Adam’’ Hamish gasped out suddenly before he started to tug on his sleeve.

Following them down to the bottom of the stairs, I watched as Adam put Hamish down before he slowed down and turned slightly towards me as I stepped of the last stair, smiling back, I stepped forward to move in to Adam’s arms before Sutan came out and grabbed my arm and started to pull me back towards the stairs again and I groaned slightly.  
‘’Sutan, come on do we really have to do dress up tonight?’’ I begged him as he laughed,  ‘’I just want to hug my boyfriend okay’’ I told him as he shook his head and dragged me up, Adam’s soft laugh echoing before his footsteps moved towards the kitchen and I was dragged back in to my room again.  
‘’Now sit, shut up and change in to the clothes I give you’’ Sutan told me as he pushed me towards the bed and I frowned.  
‘’What’s going on?’’ I asked before shutting my mouth again and ducked as one of my creepers came flying towards me and I watched as it landed on the floor next to me before I turned back to stare at Sutan.  
‘’Ask questions later, but I have to get you all prettied up’’ He told me before pointing to my desk chair, sighing I ran my fingers through my hair before sitting down, my eyes moving to watch as he dug through my drawers and wardrobe, clothes being chucked around before some was thrown towards my bed.

 

‘’Do you think I made the right choice?’’ I asked my mom as another thump came from upstairs and I turned back to look at her and Tommy’s mom.  
‘’Adam, he will love it okay, you should’ve seen the look on his face when he realized you weren’t here, he loves you to death and I can tell that he misses you a lot when you aren’t around’’ Dia said as I nodded and little and turned to look at Hamish who was sat on my lap, moving slightly to himself and the music playing as I smiled and turned back again.  
‘’So why do I feel so nervous for?’’ I asked as our moms laughed,  
‘’because you’re in love and because you have never cooked for a boyfriend before’’ Mom told me quietly as I nodded slightly,  
‘’Can I come with you and daddy tonight?’’ Hamish asked and I turned to look at him again with a soft smile,  
‘’Not tonight kiddo, your grandma’s looking after you tonight and then taking you to the park tomorrow’’ I told him as he smiled widely and turned to look towards them.

‘’Sutan this is stupid, just tell me what the hell is going on before I fall and break my friggen neck’’ Tommy’s voice rose above the soft music and I smiled a little as I turned towards the kitchen doorway as their footsteps came down the stairs  
‘’Sorry Tommy, I can’t, but just wait and everything will get explained’’ Sutan told him, ‘’Now wait here and don’t you ever dare think about taking that off, if you do, I will break fingers’’ He warned and I laughed softly before I stood and handed Hamish towards Dia and kissed his head before her cheek.  
‘’That’s my cue to get going’’ I told them softly before kissing my mom’s cheek as she smiled at me.  
‘’Have a good night Adam’’ She told me as I smiled.  
‘’So your sure that dad and Neil won’t be home at all?’’ I asked and she laughed before pushing me towards the door. ‘’And say hi to Jane for me’’  
‘’I’m sure and I will’’ she whispered as I nodded and smiled at Sutan as I turned.  
‘’You ready?’’ He whispered as I nodded again and he grabbed my hand and pulled me out in to the hallway with him, handing him his car keys, I smiled softly.  
‘’Sutan, where are you taking me?’’ Tommy asked and I paused slightly as I looked towards him, my breath caught in my throat slightly, even with the blindfold on, Tommy looked amazing and I felt my heart crash against my chest harder.  
‘’Just wait and see, trust me Tommy, you will be safe okay’’ Sutan told him softly before he let my hand go and walked around Tommy before opening the front door and grabbed Tommy’s hand.  
‘’I don’t care; I just don’t want to go anywhere okay I just want to stay home with my family and friends and with Adam. Dude I haven’t seen him all day and the one chance I get to actually touch him and talk you pull me away, I actually really hate you right now and if I die I am going to come back and haunt your fucking drag ass’’ Tommy spat out to Sutan as the door closed behind me and I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing.  
‘’Oh hush you, have some faith in this old drag and plus, Adam doesn’t mind, in fact he was the one who told me to take you out tonight. So just wait and then have some fun.’’ Sutan told Tommy and I swallowed slightly as I noticed the way Tommy’s shoulders fell a little, his head bowing and the sigh which left his lips.  
‘’Fine’’ He muttered out to him as Sutan led Tommy towards his car.

Getting in to my own car and pulling out ahead of Sutan’s, I let a soft breath escape my lips slightly before I settled in to driving, my mind going over everything which would be waiting for us at home once we had gotten there, checking the review mirror, I smiled softly as I noticed Sutan’s car still behind mine before I turned back to the road again and carried on, everything was falling in to place like I had wanted it to, but at the same time I couldn’t help but remember the way Tommy reacted to what Sutan had told him, it was almost like he had given up on himself again…almost like he didn’t think I wanted to be around him. Swallowing deeply, I let my mind trail away as I drove and I soon found myself pulling up in to the drive way of my house, the engine being killed off before I climbed out and quickly shut the door behind me, locking it, I jogged up to the front door and unlocked it before leaving it open behind me as I headed inside and through to the kitchen where I turned the music on softly and quickly lit the candle which was sat on the table which I had pulled half way out through the patio doors so we could still be sat outside but have the warmth of the house if we needed it.   
Hearing footsteps coming through the hall, I breathed out deeply and put everything down and stepped out the way as Sutan led Tommy in to the room and stopped him halfway across.  
‘’Now you stay right here honey’’ Sutan told Tommy which earned another deep sigh from Tommy but he nodded anyway, hands pushed deep in to his pockets before he slipped them out  and rubbed his arms. Heading back out in to the hallway with Sutan, I held the front door open and smiled at him softly as he kissed my cheek.  
‘’Thank you so much’’ I whispered to him as he smiled,  
‘’Darling, just have a good evening okay’’ He whispered back as I nodded,  ‘’goodnight Adam’’  
‘’Night Sutan’’ Closing the door, I locked it up again before I turned and slowly walked back in to the kitchen again where Tommy was still stood.  
‘’I swear to god Sutan, if you don’t tell me what the fuck is going on right now,  I promise I’m going to fucking hate you so much’’ Tommy cursed out and I couldn’t help but grin slightly as I walked closer and stood behind him. Lifting my hand up slightly, I softly trailed my fingertips over his shoulder which caused him to jump before he swallowed, body tensed slightly. Shaking my head, I softly stepped closer and let my other hand touch against his waist as I softly kissed the back of Tommy’s neck.  
‘’Relax, its only me’’ I whispered out to him as I lightly moved my hand across his shoulder again and down his arm until my fingers moved through his, feeling Tommy relax back against me, I smiled softly and pressed another soft kiss to his skin before I stepped away and slowly trailed my hands back up his body until I reached the blindfold and softly started to untie it.  
Watching as it fell away from Tommy’s eyes, I couldn’t help but smile at the soft gasp which left his lips, his own hands reaching up to grab the blindfold before he swallowed and turned to look at me,  
‘’You did all this?’’ He asked as I nodded and took the fabric away from him and placed it on to the side out the way.  ‘’But why?’’ Tommy asked and I laughed softly as I took a step closer to him again and reached up, my hand trailing along his jaw softly, thumb brushing his lower lip before cheek.  
‘’Because it is your birthday and I wanted to do something special for you, to give you a break away from Hamish, to remind you that romance still exists even when you do have a child, but most of all, I did it because I love you Thomas Josepha Ratliff’’ I whispered to him,  ‘’and I would do it a thousand times over just to show that you mean the world to me, to show how special and wonderful you are, to me you are the stars, the moon and sun, everything just lights up when you appear and I want that forever, I just want to bottle up your smile and laugh, take it with me where ever I go just so I have you there with me.’’ I told him, his hands moving up to rest against my stomach lightly. ‘’you’re beautiful Tommy, so god damn beautiful that I’m afraid that I’m going to wake up one day to find that all this is just a dream and that some cruel god in the universe created such an beautiful person to tease me with, but you are here and I know by just touching you, that you are real, that all this is real and I want it forever baby, I want there to always be an us, me, you and Hamish, the three of us together as a family! I don’t care what people say about us because I know that we would be strong together, you showed me how strong you are by making me fight to get to you, but now I have you, I want to still fight to keep you in my life, I would do anything for you baby, anything’’ I whispered as I softly lent my forehead against his, breath shaky as he smiled and let his hands slide around my waist and pulled me in to a hug.  
‘’You didn’t need to do any of this you dork, but I love you too, so much Adam that words can’t describe the feelings I get with you’’ He whispered back to me as I smiled and pulled away a little, hand still on his jaw.  
‘’Happy birthday baby’’ I told him softly before leaning in and softly pressed my lips against his. Pulling away slowly, I kissed the tip of his nose which earned a soft laugh from both of us before I grabbed his hand and led him towards the table before I let him go, pulling out the chair, I smiled at Tommy as he sat down and I pushed him in again. Walking back around, I headed towards the cooker where I grabbed a cloth and opened the oven, taking the plates out, I closed the oven door with my toes again as I headed back towards the table and carefully set the hot plates down in front of Tommy and in my own spot.  
‘’I can’t believe you cooked me dinner, no one has ever done this for me before’’ Tommy said as I sat down and laughed softly, a slight blush forming on my cheeks,  
‘’There’s a first for everything.’’ I told him, his eyes meeting mine before he reached across and laid his hand on mine which I turned and linked out fingers together.  
‘’You are amazing Adam,’’ He told me and I smiled softly before raising his hand and kissed his knuckles.  
‘’Eat up, there’s still more to come yet’’ I told him, his eyebrow raising slightly before he grinned at me.

As we ate, I couldn’t help but stare at him, everything about Tommy screamed beautiful, I felt my heart swell with how much I cared about him, everything I did, I wanted it to be perfect. I always wanted to make him laugh, to keep a smile on his face, listening as he talked, hand waving around slightly as he laughed, I smiled with him before I felt my heart miss a few beats as I realized that this was always what I wanted. To be with someone who was perfect to me, someone who got excited over something they had done or was doing.  
I wanted to do everything for him, I wanted to keep him from harm’s way, just protect him from the world and harsh words which I had ran away from many times, I wanted to kiss every inch of his pale skin to learn his body, to make a map in my mind to memorize every little detail about him so I would never miss anything which might of changed. Feeling his hand on mine, I slowly blinked and looked up in to his eyes again as he smiled at me softly.  
‘’I asked if you were finished’’ He said softly and I looked down at our empty plates before letting a soft laugh out and nodded, watching as he started to get up, I reached out, fingers wrapping around his wrist softly as he stopped to look at me.  
‘’Forget about the dishes’’ I said softly before I stood and moved around the table to stand beside him. Sliding my hand down to his again, I let out fingers move together as his eyes darted over my face, ‘’come with me’’ I whispered softly as he nodded, turning I started to lead him out in to the garden before towards the end of it where the summer house was. Stepping around it, I glanced at Tommy who was frowning in confusion and I smiled softly before I pulled him closer and lifted a plank up at the back to show a door. ‘’It’s a hidden room, dad made it for me when I was younger and wanted to study in peace. It’s the back of the summer house but extended, you can’t see it from the front because of the trees and bushes, but it’s here and now it’s our secret’’ I told him as he smiled softly and stepped forwards, lips brushing over my cheek as I helped him through and followed in behind.

Holding open the door for him, I heard the soft breath leave Tommy’s lips again as he stepped in to the room lit by a few candles which was under jars to keep it safe. Shutting the door behind me, I stepped in behind Tommy and wrapped my arms around his waist as I buried my face in to the side of his neck slightly.  
‘’This is beautiful Adam’’ I heard him whisper before he turned in my arms and I looked up at him, his eyes watching me as I watched him in the candle light.  
‘’I wanted everything to be special’’ I whispered to him as he smiled, a hand moving up to touch against my cheek before he pulled it away again and turned, his eyes flowing over room which was decorated in old movie posters, photographs and other things from me growing up before his eyes settledleading towards  on the bed against the far wall, the black covers flowing over the red sheeting of the bed before the pillows created a soft feeling, rose petals it before laying at the foot of the bed as he turned to look at me again with a smile.  
‘’It’s perfect’’ He whispered to me before holding his hand out, taking it, I smiled as we walked over and he softly turned and pushed me back until I was sat on the bed, eyes locked on his. ‘’Thank you’’ He whispered as he stepped closer and I slowly parted my knees for him to stand between them, arms wrapped around my neck as I moved mine around his thighs and held him closer to me as I rested my cheek against his stomach.  
‘’I love you’’ I whispered out to him, not wanting to raise my voice any higher in case it broke the moment we were in as I turned and looked up at him, a smile on his lips as he slowly leaned down, lips inches from mine.  
‘’I’m never going to leave’’ He whispered to me as I smiled and his lips touched against mine lightly, wrapping my arms around him more, I gently pulled him closer until his knees came up on to the bed either side of me and he rested on my lap, hands in hair as I carefully turned us both and laid back with him under me, kisses lazy and slow before soft licks deepened the kiss.

Minutes went by slowly as clothing slowly started to fade away from our bodies too, all our movements slow as we went, both knowing that there was no rush to do anything, that we had all night together without anyone interrupting us.  
Slowly pulling my lips from his as we both removed the last items of clothing and slipped in under the covers, I smiled softly at him as I moved my arm around his waist and pulled him back closer to me again, rough fingertips grazing over the bare skin on my shoulder as I pressed a kiss to his.  
‘’You’re beautiful like this’’ I whispered against his warm skin before I raised my eyes to meet his again,  
‘’So are you,’’ Tommy whispered back to me and I smiled before claiming his lips in a soft kiss again as I moved over him slowly.  
Our movements were slow together as time went on, soft laughs escaping our mouths every so often when we bumped noses or knocked our elbows together. Linking my fingers with his above his head, I couldn’t help but stare down in to his eyes as I slowly rocked against him, his lower lip caught between his teeth as his hips came up against me slightly, keeping the same pace, I leant down and brushed my lips against his again before I trailed them down to his neck and softly kissed over his skin as his back arched up against me, a soft moan leaving his bruised lips, the sound making a chill run down my spine knowing that it was me who had made him sound like that. Returning my lips back to his again, I kissed him deeply as he met my thrusts again and a hot warmth erupted between our bodies and Tommy’s lips went slack against mine, breathing out deeply, I leant my forehead against his shoulders softly as I kept moving against him, hips faulting slightly as I felt my own orgasm run through my body, a soft groan leaving my lips as I let one of Tommy’s hands go and moved it up under his body as his hand came down and fingers threaded through my hair, lifting my head up in to another lazy kiss. Breathes heavy, I slowly pulled out of him before lying on the bed beside him, my arm moving around him as I brought him closer to me again and kissed his shoulder lightly.  
‘’Baby?’’ I asked as he sat up and lent over me, watching as he picked his shirt up, I watched as he wiped his stomach before turning to face me,  
‘’It’s no damp cloth but it will do’’ He told me softly as he moved and softly wiped it over me and then himself again and dropped it back on to the floor again, smiling, I curled him closer to me as he let a content sigh out and rested his head against my shoulder.

 

‘’You’re beautiful like this’’ Adam whispered to me as his fingers trailed over my arm and I laughed softly before turning to look up at him, his eyes already watching me as I smiled.  
‘’You said that before we made love’’ I told him and he shrugged slightly, a smile on his own lips.  
‘’But it’s true, sexed out is a good look on you, makes me never want to let you get out of this bed’’ He whispered to me and I smiled as I turned and curled more against his body, my knee sliding between his thighs as I rested my head against his chest, a soft yawn on my lips.  
‘’You look good too’’ I told him quietly as his arms came around me tighter again, tracing soft patterns in to his side, I smiled to myself softly before I tried to move even closer again as I felt my eyes start to grow heavy a little.  
‘’Go to sleep baby’’ Adam said softly as fingers smoothed through my hair and I smiled again.  
‘’Only if you don’t let me go’’ I mumbled out to him, sleep already starting to pull me under.  
‘’Never gunna let you go’’ Adam whispered to me as everything faded out peacefully.

Feeling the bed shift, I stirred slightly before turning over on to my stomach, arms wrapping tightly around the pillow as a deep sigh left my lips, feeling the light touch over the bare skin on my back, I couldn’t help but smile softly before I turned my head and opened my eyes to see Adam laid on his side, eyes watching his fingers before they moved up to meet mine with a soft smile.  
‘’How long have I been sleeping for?’’ I asked him as he chuckled softly and leaned forward, his lips pressing a kiss to my naked shoulder before he pulled back again.  
‘’About an hour or two’’ He told me as I nodded and yawned again and then shivered in the slight coldness which wrapped itself around the room. ‘’I was going to wake you up so we can go back up in to the house where its warmer but you looked so peaceful asleep, I didn’t want to disturb you’’ He admitted and I smiled lazily again.  
‘’So you haven’t slept?’’ I asked and he shook his head, ‘’Dork’’ I mumbled before turning and sat up a little, the covers pooling around my waist before I turned to look at him. ‘’It is kinder cold out here’’ I laughed as he nodded, watching as he leaned over and grabbed my clothes, I gently took them from him before dressing at the same time, my shirt in my hands as I stood and slipped my feet in to shoes again and turned to look at Adam as he turned towards me and held his top out.  
‘’Put it on so you don’t get cold’’ He told me as he took my own and I laughed softly but slipped his own over my head anyway, the dull ache which rested at the bottom of my spine felt good as warmth ran through my body again, settling his top in to place, I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around him tightly as he laughed and kissed the top of my head, ‘’It’s a lot warmer out here in the summer, the winter not so much’’ He mumbled and I grinned as I pulled away.  
‘’Lets go inside then, I’m sure your bed is pretty warm’’ I told him as he nodded with a smile, watching as he stepped away and started to blow the candles out one by one, I walked over to the door and opened it and walked through before I pushed the plank away and held it up as Adam walked through, setting it back in to place again, I smiled and took his hand as we quickly walked back across the garden, laughing softly as we slipped a little on the drew covered grass before heading in to the house where Adam pushed the table back as I pulled the doors shut and flicked the key in them to lock it. Laughing as we ran up the stairs, I kicked my shoes off again as I started to re undress before climbing in under Adam’s bed covers before he quickly joined and wrapped his arms back around me tightly again and I settled back against his chest.  ‘’This has been the best birthday ever, thank you’’ I whispered to him as his fingertips traced over my spine.  
‘’You don’t need to thank me baby, I told you, I would do this all over a thousand times again, I wanted to make it special for you and I’m glad you liked it’’ He told me as I lifted my head for a kiss which he gratefully returned, kissing slowly and lazy before pulling away with the need to breathe, I sighed happily as I settled back against him again.  
‘’I love you too by the way, I never said it last time’’ I mumbled out to him again as I let myself get lost in the warmth of his body and bed again.  
‘’I know baby’’ He whispered as Adam moved down a little and pulled me closer to him before I turned so my back was against his chest and his arms wrapped around my waist tightly as his breath tickled the back of my neck.  
‘’Night Adam’’ I whispered out to him which was greeted with a soft kiss to the back of my neck,  
‘’Night baby’’ He whispered back as silence filled out around us again and we settled in to it more, our hearts beating together as one as I let my hands tangle with his as we bother fell asleep together.

Waking up, the first thing I felt was how cold the bed was beside me, opening my eyes slowly, I blinked at the sudden brightness before the bed dipped and I felt a soft kiss against my temple which made me smiled as I turned a little to see Adam half dressed in sweat pants and knelt on the bed, a tray balanced on his knee as he smiled at me.  
‘’I thought you would like some breakfast’’ Adam told me softly as I smiled and slowly sat up, hands rubbing at my eyes as I glanced around slightly and then back to him again.  
‘’How did I get so lucky with you?’’ I asked him as he laughed and carefully moved the tray over my lap once I was sat up and back against the wall again.  
‘’Because I fell for an adorable looking guy who has a heart of gold and an equally adorable little boy of his own’’ Adam teased out and I laughed slightly before chucking one of the strawberries at him which caused him to grin before he picked it up off the bed and popped it in to his mouth.  
‘’That shouldn’t of looked as hot as it did’’ I told him as he grinned and I shook my head a little and picked another one up to eat myself.  
‘’What do you want to do today?’’ Adam asked me as he moved to sit beside me on the bed, his arm around my shoulders a little as I tilted my body to lean against him softly.  
‘’What do you mean?’’ I asked as I picked another berry up and ate it.  
‘’Well our mom’s have Hamish until around 1pm today and the rest of my family is out, so what do you want to do while we have time’’ He asked me and I thought for a while before I shrugged.  
‘’I have no idea,’’ I told him, my mind blank of what I could do, ‘’I can’t remember the last time I actually didn’t have to worry about anything or where Hamish was’’ I laughed as I looked up at a smiling Adam, returning his kiss as he leaned down, I let my hand move up in to his hair softly as he nipped at my bottom lip and pulled away with a soft smile.  
‘’We can do anything you want baby and I mean anything’’ He told me as I nodded a little, glancing around his room, I let my eyes settle on his films and I smiled before turning to look back,  
‘’Can we just stay here, watch a movie or two and just cuddle before my little monster demands our attention?’’ I asked and Adam laughed before he nodded and kissed the tip of my nose again.  
‘’What film?’’ Adam asked as he walked over and I shrugged a little,  
‘’I don’t mind, just as long as it’s not too boring’’ I told him as he chuckled and grabbed one, finishing of the last of the fruit, I turned slightly and pushed the tray on to the unit beside Adam’s bed and settled back in to his covers again as he came back over and joined me under them.  
‘’Have you thought any more about what you want to do for Hamish’s birthday yet?’’ Adam asked about halfway through the movie, his fingers stroking over my arm softly as I nodded.  
‘’Yeah, your mom actually told me that she will throw one of the Halloween parties she used to throw when you were kids and have it as his birthday as well, his friends are all welcomed here’’ I told him as he chuckled, the sound vibrating through his chest as I turned to look up at him.  
‘’That sounds good, I used to love those parties, kinder sad when we got older and mom stopped doing them’’ He told me as I grinned at him.  
‘’So does that mean I get to see my boyfriend all dressed up for a public holiday then?’’ I asked as he laughed and shrugged,  
‘’Maybe, maybe not, depends on if I feel like dressing up’’ Adam teased and I smirked slightly as I stared at him for a few moments.  
‘’You would so totally dress up’’ I accused him, his eyes meeting mine again, a smile in their glow as I laughed, ‘’You really would’’ I laughed before he joined in and pulled me closer again.  
‘’Okay, maybe I would then but hey, it’s a fun holiday and I’m sure this year would be ten times better again now I have another reason to celebrate Halloween, can’t let my boys down now can I’’ He told me and I smiled softly as he spoke, the sound of him calling us his boys still warm inside my heart as I moved and laid back down against his side again and returned to the film.  
‘’Hamish adores you’’ I told him softly as he ran his hand down my back and rested it on the waist band of the sleep pants I had on off Adam’s.  
‘’I know and I adore him too, he’s such a good kid’’ He told me as I smiled softly.  
‘’I guess I am pretty lucky with him, I don’t think I have ever actually had to tell him off or shout at him. He is a good kid and I’m glad of it, it makes life a lot easier on me too when I don’t have to send him off to time out and everyone does seem to fall in love with him as soon as they see him smile at them’’ I grinned out as Adam laughed again.  
‘’That is true, only because he has his daddies gorgeous smile’’ Adam told me and I lightly bit at his chest as he laughed again and hugged me tighter to him.

Hearing Adam’s front door open and then close after a few sets of footsteps came in, I glanced towards the bedroom door before back to the TV again as we watched the third film of the day, my body still tucked up against Adam’s side, fingers stroking my arm and shoulders lightly before footsteps came running up the stairs and in to the room.  
‘’Daddy, papa guess what grandma Leila and grandma let me do today’’ Hamish called out and I smiled widely as I sat up and he came running over to the bed, watching as Adam lifted him up, I sat back against the wall again as he smiled at us widely.  
‘’what baby?’’ I asked and he stood up on the bed before walking over to me with wobbly feet before he jumped in to my lap,  
‘’We went to the park and they let me feed the ducks there, it was so cool daddy’’ Hamish told us and I laughed softly as I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed the top of his head.  
‘’Sounds like you had a fun day kiddo’’ Adam spoke as Hamish turned to look at him with a nod.  
‘’Can you take daddy away more so I can stay with grandma’s again?’’ Hamish asked and I laughed before hugging him to me.  
‘’Never letting you go again you monster’’ I grinned as I started to tickle him, laughing along, I let him get up again as he stood and jumped on the bed slightly before he jumped and landed with a soft thumb in the middle of the bed as ma came in to the room with Leila behind her by a few steps. ‘’How was he?’’ I asked and Ma smiled at me.  
‘’He was an angel’’ She told me as I nodded and smiled towards Hamish again as he started to pull his shoes off and then drop them on to the floor along with his jacket before he crawled up and worked his way down under the covers with me and Adam.  
‘’Well it looks like he has found what he wants to do’’ Adam grinned as I shook my head slightly.  
‘’I don’t mind’’ I shrugged out to him as he smiled over at me,  
‘’Do you boy’s want a drink?’’ Leila asked and I glanced towards her with a soft smile before I nodded softly.  
‘’That would be great thank you’’ I told her as she smiled warmly and walked over, watching as she leaned over Adam to press a kiss to my cheek, I blushed and laughed softly as I sat back again and ran my fingers through Hamish’s hair again as he moved and curled in to my side.  
‘’Oh Tommy, there is going to be a surprise when you get home tonight’’ Ma told me and I looked towards her with a frown.  
‘’What kind?’’ I asked and she laughed softly,  
‘’You will have to wait and see’’ She told me before kissing Adam’s cheek and disappeared out of the room after Leila.  
‘’I swear our moms have decided to change their sons around, I mean mine kissed you cheek and yours kissed mine, isn’t it meant to be the other way around’’ I laughed out softly to Adam as he grinned and wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I leant in to him.  
‘’I’m just glad that they are happy that we are happy’’ He told me and I nodded a little before I turned back to look at the film again.

‘’Daddy’’ Hamish asked out quietly and I looked down at him as I put my cup back on the stand again and turned back,  
‘’Yeah baby?’’ I asked as he moved and crawled on to my lap,  
‘’Can we go swimming again one day?’’ He asked and I smiled softly before I nodded and glanced towards Adam to see him asleep next to us, grinning softly I turned back to Hamish again,  
‘’When do you want to go?’’ I asked quietly and he shrugged a little.  
‘’I don’t know, but soon okay daddy before it gets even colder because I don’t like cold water’’ He told me and I laughed softly,  
‘’You can get warm watered swimming pools Hamish, they aren’t all cold’’ I told him as he frowned slightly.  
‘’I forget that, I keep thinking of the beach and the sea, so can we go in a few days then?’’He asked and I thought about what classes I had before nodding.  
‘’Sure baby, how about Friday?’’ I asked and he beamed at me.  
‘’That sounds amazing daddy, can we ask papa to come with us when he wakes up?’’ Hamish asked and I nodded to him before he smiled and settled back down against my side again and turned back to watch the TV.

‘’You should’ve woke me up’’  Adam’s tired voice came from beside me and I slowly looked up before smiling slightly as I rubbed my eyes a little,  
‘’Because I didn’t want too and I was cuddling with Hamish and I feel like I’m going to fall asleep right now again anyway’’ I told him with a yawn as he chuckled softly and turned towards us, watching as he moved his fingers through Hamish’s hair, I smiled and shifted his body a little until I could rest my head against Adam’s shoulder, his lips pressing a soft kiss against the top of my head.  
‘’Then fall asleep baby, you are allowed’’ Adam told me softly as I smiled and turned to look up at him.  
‘’I know, but I was watching you both’’ I told him quietly as he laughed softly and moved his arm around the two of us.  
‘’I can’t say anything about that, I often watch you both sleep’’ He told me and I felt my cheeks warm up slightly as he smiled. ‘’You and Hamish look so alike when you both sleep, so peaceful with this adorable little winkle in your nose when you stir’’ Adam said softly as he trailed his fingers through my hair before shifting on to his side more and rested his head on his arm before he smiled over at us.  
‘’What are you thinking?’’ I asked him as he shrugged slightly before looking down at Hamish again, a soft smile on his lips before he reached down and  softly moved Hamish’s hair out of his face.  
‘’Just thinking about how lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my life and how I’m lucky to have such beautiful boys in my bed for me to care about and look after’’ He told me and I smiled softly as he looked back up and our eyes met.  
‘’My dork’’ I mumbled out with a grin before he leaned closer and pressed a light kiss across my lips which I returned just as softly.

 

.o0o.

 

‘’Come on daddy, look what me and papa made’’ Turning, I grinned slightly as Hamish pulled Tommy across the garden to where I was stood in front of the sheets thrown over the lines and trees, making a tent.  
‘’Oh damn, Ma’s going to kill me’’ I heard Tommy mumble before I laughed softly and kissed his cheek.  
‘’Don’t worry baby we got permission before we started building’’ I told him as he nodded softly and watched as Hamish ran forward and crawled in to the make shift tent. ‘’And I kinder promised him that I would order pizza in so we could eat it out here’’ I chuckled softly as Tommy grinned and curled in to my side, my arm wrapped around him as Hamish poked his head out with a grin.  
‘’Are you coming in?’’ Hamish asked before I chuckled softly and nodded,  
‘’Will be right in baby’’ I told him as he let a soft laugh out and moved out of view again.  
‘’I guess we should get going then’’ Tommy laughed as he leaned up and pressed his lips to my jaw,  
‘’We should’’ I laughed before I took his hand and started to pull him in to the tent.

  
‘’Daddy you cheated’’ Hamish called out before he laughed and dropped his cards before jumping on Tommy, laughing as they messed around, I shook my head and grabbed the cards and moved them out the way as the boys rolled slightly until Hamish sat on Tommy’s chest, pinning him down as Tommy raised his hands in defeat and laughed.  
‘’Okay baby, okay you got me’’ He laughed out as Hamish turned and smiled towards me,  
‘’You shouldn’t cheat’’ He told me as I nodded with a smile,  
‘’Don’t worry, I won’t cheat’’ I grinned as I stood and ran my fingers through my hair, ‘’I’m going to go check on the time and see if the pizza are here nearly.’’ I told Tommy as he nodded and sat up, arms around Hamish before I stepped out the tent and started to walk back up to the house.   
‘’Adam darling’’ Looking up, I smiled as I saw Sutan sat at the table,  
‘’Hey you’’ I spoke out before leaning down and kissed his cheek as I past and walked over to the counter where I picked the piece of paper up and checked the time.  
‘’How is everything going?’’ Sutan asked and I smiled at him widely before walking over and sat down next to him.  
‘’Amazing, just amazing’’ I told him as he laughed and laid his hand over mine softly.  
‘’That’s nice  so I’ve been meaning to ask, how did your dinner go the other night?’’ He asked and I smiled softly  
‘’It was wonderful, so perfect and I want to thank you again for all your help’’ I told him as he smiled at me,  
‘’I’m always going to help honey, but tell me everything, I want all the details Mister’’ He smirked before leaning closer on the table and I laughed.  
‘’Well after you left, I locked everything back up and went back out to him again, I think I made him jump slightly before he realized it was me and I helped him off with the blindfold, I think he was actually taken back a lot by what I had done for him.’’ I told him with a smile, ‘’Dinner were perfect, even more than I had hoped for’’ I grinned out before he gasped quickly and covered his mouth.  
‘’Oh my god, you went all the way together didn’t you’’ He spoke out as the doorbell rang, grinning slightly, I stood up and grabbed my wallet before I started to walk towards the door, ‘’Adam, don’t walk away from me’’ Sutan called after me, ‘’tell me what happened boy’’ Laughing, I answered the door and quickly paid for the pizza before closing it again and headed back through.  
‘’Sorry Sutan, but I need to go feed my boys’’ I grinned out to him as he huffed slightly,  
‘’You so went all the way, that smile doesn’t hide anything Mr. Lambert’’ Sutan called out as I laughed and headed back out in to the garden and across to the makeshift tent.

  
‘’Tommy’’ I whispered softly and watched as he slowly turned to look at me from where he was laid before I nodded down to Hamish who was laid in between us, his eyes closed and curled around his teddy tightly before a soft laugh escaped Tommy’s lips and he shifted slowly on to his side to watch his son with adoring eyes. ‘’You’re so beautiful’’ I told him softly as he pushed Hamish’s hair out his eyes and looked up at me with a small smile.  
‘’You keep saying that’’ Tommy told me quietly and I shrugged a little to turn on to my side and face him like he was dong,  
‘’Because it’s true’’ I whispered back to him, a grin appearing on his face before he lent up on his arms and leaned over, his lips pressing a soft kiss against my cheek before he pulled away and grabbed his jacket.  
‘’I’m going to take him in’’ Tommy said as he moved his jacket around Hamish’s body and carefully picked him up as a yawn escaped his own lips and I grinned softly.  
‘’Let me do it, you just relax a little and then I’ll be back to help you clean everything away’’ I told him as I stood and walked closer, his eyes watching me as he nodded with a smile.  
‘’You don’t have to Adam, really’’ He told me and I laughed slightly as I shook my head and ran a hand through his hair softly.  
‘’Baby, you are my boys and I’m going to take care of both of you, I want to help and putting the little one to bed is something I do now, it’s part of my routine now’’ I told him as he nodded and carefully moved Hamish in to my arms.

Heading back in to the house, I looked down at Hamish with a soft smile as he moved a little, holding him a little tighter, I walked out in to the front hallway as the door open and Dia walked in, a soft smile on her lips as she noticed me.  
‘’Evening Adam’’ She spoke out and I smiled towards her,  
‘’Evening, how was work?’’ I asked and she chuckled softly before walking over and kissing my cheek softly, eyes looking down at Hamish with a smile.  
‘’It was busy, but enjoyable like normal, bless him, how long has he been asleep for?’’ She asked as we both looked down at Hamish,  
‘’About 15 minutes or so, Tommy’s still out back just putting little one to bed then going back out to help him clean up’’ I told her as she nodded, smiling at her, I turned towards the stairs again as she walked out in to the kitchen. Stepping in to the boy’s room, I carefully made my way over to his bed before laying him down as I knelt and started to pull Tommy’s jacket away and then started to undress him and slip his shorts and sleeping top on.  
‘’Night baby’’ I whispered as I kissed the top of Hamish’s head and pulled his covers up around him more, smiling I left the room quickly and pulled the door too behind me before I head back downstairs and out in to the garden where the make shift tent was still up.  
Stepping inside, I breathed out and groaned slightly before I walked over and let myself drop down on to my knees in front of Tommy as he looked up at me through hooded eyes, a warm smile on his lips as he ran his hand back down his stomach again, ‘’you kill me’’ I breathed out to him as he parted his legs more and sat up a little, his hands finding my top as he pulled me closer.  
‘’In a good way I hope’’ He breathed out and I chuckled softly and moved my hands up on to his neck softly before pressing my lips against his. Leaning him back as we kissed, I let my body cover his as his arms wrapped up around my neck and pulled me closer until our bodies were pressed together from lips to toes, sneaking a hand up the side of his shirt, I grinned against his lips as he jerked before pulling away and rested my forehead against his.  
‘’I love you Tommy’’ I whispered to him, ‘’So so much.’’

  
.o0o.

  
‘’Hamish, go careful I don’t need to take you to the hospital today, so please watch what you are doing’’ I called out as he ran past quickly laughing, breathing out slightly I ran my hand through my hair and turned back  to the side and cutting up some food to place on a tray.  
‘’Tommy’’ Turning, I smiled and put the knife down and cleaned my hands off before I turned fully and opened my arms for a hug.  
‘’How are you Jane?’’ I asked as she smiled at me widely,  
‘’Amazing, grandma’s was so fun’’  She gushed out and I laughed softly before she looked around the place, her eyes taking everything in before she laughed. ‘’Is Hamish outside?’’ she asked and I nodded before she leaned up and kissed my cheek, watching as she ran outside I grinned to myself before turning back to the cutting. Hearing laughter come from the hallway, I glanced up as I past to see Adam hugging someone before turning to hug another person, smiling to myself I pushed the plates on to the table before I wiped my hands down the front of my jeans and pushed my sleeves up again as a force ran in to my legs and knocked me over, laughing slightly as I sat up on the floor, I looked up at Hamish as he pushed his mask up, his eyes wide before he broke in to a grin.  
‘’I’m so coming to get you’’ I told him as he shrieked out in laughter and turned, his little legs running back outside as I pushed myself up and jogged out after him, pausing I glanced around the yard, a smile on my lips as I saw how Leila had decorated it for the party before I started to move towards Hamish who had his back turned to me.  
‘’Ahhhh daddy’’ Hamish screamed out laughing as I picked him up and spun him around quickly, a grin on my lips as I moved my arms around him tightly.  
‘’Yes baby?’’ I asked as he laughed and hugged his arms around my neck tightly.  
‘’This is so cool can I have my birthday here forever and ever?’’ He asked and I laughed softly,  
‘’The party hasn’t even started yet, all your friends aren’t expected for another hour and half’’ I told him,  
‘’I know that daddy, but I like it at papa’s and grandma Leila’s house and I want my birthday here all the time,’’ He told me before leaning closer, ‘’Papa let me have a present too already’’ He whispered and I frowned slightly and tilted my head as I looked at him.  
‘’What did he get you?’’ I asked and Hamish grinned before letting me go to dig under his costume and pulled out a small necklace.  
‘’It’s like your tattoo on your wrist’’ He told me and I couldn’t help but grin down at the star sign pendent before I nodded.  
‘’Its beautiful baby, but you make sure you take care of it and don’t get it damaged’’ I told him as he smiled at me widely and tucked it back under his tops again.  
‘’I won’t daddy’’ He told me before kissing my cheek, laughing softly I put him down again, watching as he ran off again, I shook my head and pushed my hands in to my pockets as I looked around slightly.  
‘’Oh Neil, have you seen your mom?’’ I asked him as he past, his head looking up towards me before nodding,  
‘’Yeah she’s in the summer house’’ He told me as I nodded with a smile.  
‘’Okay thanks’’ I told him before I turned and started to walk towards it.

‘’Tommy, is everything alright dear?’’ Jumping slightly I turned to see Leila and I laughed softly before nodding,  
‘’Yeah, just coming to see if you need my help with anything else, all the food is sorted now and placed out, most of the decorations are up and the others are finishing them off’’ I shrugged out as she laughed softly,  
‘’Of course, you can actually help me bring this table out so we can place it in the garden for the kids’’ she told me as I smile and moved around, helping her lift the table and start walking it out, I checked behind me before we started to head over towards the patio and placed it down near the heater.  
‘’so your parties must be something, Hamish wants to have his birthday here forever and ever’’ I laughed out towards her as she grinned,  
‘’Is that what he said is it’’ She asked and I nodded,  
‘’His own words’’ I told her before we both laughed,  
‘’well you are welcomed to have his party here any time you like’’ She told me as I nodded slightly,  
‘’I wouldn’t let Hamish hear you say that’’ I grinned out as he ran past, causing us to both laugh again. Walking towards the summer house with her again, I grabbed a few of the chairs before taking them over again and started to walk back when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist and pull me back in to a broad chest which I quickly relaxed against as Adam kissed the skin just behind my ear.  
‘’Hey you’’ Adam whispered in to my ear which caused me to shiver slightly before I turned and smiled up at him,  
‘’Hey yourself’’ I smiled out as he chuckled and leaned down to press a light kiss against my lips.  
‘’I want you to meet a couple of people’’ He told me and I raised an eyebrow slightly as he laughed, ‘’Nothing like that, just some friends of mine’’

Nodding to his words I let my hand slide in to his as he started to lead me back inside the house where someone had turned on some music somewhere.  
‘’There you are Adam, we thought for a second that you had run away’’ A voice spoke out as we stepped in to the living room and I saw the two people which had hugged Adam when I saw them all in the hallway.  
‘’Yeah sorry, its hard to keep track of this one when he’s doing things’’ Adam said and I grinned slightly as I rubbed my thumb over his hand which earned a smile from him. ‘’Anyway, Tommy this is Isaac and his fiancée Sophie, Sophie, Isaac this here is my Tommy’’ Adam spoke out and I smiled softly before reaching out my hand towards Isaac.  
‘’Nice to meet you’’ I told him as he smiled and laughed before pulling me in to a hug which was repeated with his fiancée.  
‘’And it’s finally nice to meet the person behind all the words’’ Isaac said and I frowned slightly before Adam laughed and I turned to look at him.  
‘’I tend to get a little carried away when I’m talking about you guys’’ Adam told me and I nodded slightly, ‘’Isaac is the drummer of the band I sing with sometimes at the club’’ He said and I nodded softly.  
‘’Carried away Adam? You speak of nothing but the boys’’ Sophie said and I laughed softly as Adam shrugged and blushed a little, his hand leaving mine before pulling me closer with an arm around my waist.  
‘’So you know about Hamish?’’ I asked and Sophie and Isaac laughed softly with a smile.  
‘’We do, and he sounds a lovely little boy, we are expecting our own little one too’’ Sophie said before she moved a hand to her still pretty flat stomach, a smile forming over my lips as I nodded.  
‘’Congratulations, what are you both hoping for?’’ I asked them both as they looked at each other lovingly.  
‘’A boy’’  
‘’A little girl’’ Hearing Isaac say that we all looked at him and he laughed slightly before shrugging. ‘’What, I think it would be amazing to have two women in my life who I can love and look after’’ He said and I grinned before leaning back in to Adam slightly as his chin came down to rest on my shoulder. ‘’plus it would be kick ass to teach her how to drum so she can kick all the boy’s asses’’ He laughed.  
‘’Sounds like you both are going to be kick ass parents, just don’t let no fuckers bring you down for having a kid’’ I told them with a smile.  
‘’Daddy…’’ Turning slightly I looked towards Hamish who was stood near us with his hands on his hips and the sternest face he could make as he looked towards me and I laughed slightly before tilting my head up to look towards Adam.  
‘’You don’t happen to have a dollar which I can borrow do you?’’ I asked him as he laughed, ‘’I’m afraid I’ve ran out of them’’ Watching as Adam shook his head with a grin before he pulled his wallet out and handed me on, I winked at him before walking over to Hamish who grinned widely and took it from me when I handed it to him.  
‘’You need to lift me up’’ He told me and I frowned slightly,  
‘’But your jar is at home’’ I told him and he laughed,  
‘’Your silly daddy, grandma Leila brought me a money box for here’’ He grinned out as I lifted him up and he pointed me towards the shelves.  
‘’Alright, alright’’ I laughed as I walked over and he pushed his money in to the box.  
‘’Good, now remember daddy no more swearing its naughty and I don’t want Freddy coming to get you because you’ve been naughty’’ He told me and I bit my lip slightly to stop myself from laughing as I nodded.  
‘’I promise squirt, now go find Uncle Sutan to go bug, I’m sure he’s upstairs somewhere with the make-up’’ I told him, watching as his face lit up before he turned and ran out the room, I shook my head slightly and laughed before I walked back over to Adam and moved my arms around his waist as one of his came around my shoulders.  
‘’He is the most adorable little boy I’ve ever seen’’ Sophie spoke out and I looked up at her before blushing slightly as I laughed.

‘’So what was the dollar and Freddy thing about?’’ Isaac asked and I laughed a little,  
‘’Umm, the dollar is a thing we do at home, a swear jar kind of thing because I used to swear so much and Hamish started to pick it up so we came to an arrangement that every time  swore and he caught me, I would have to pay him a dollar and then that way Freddy won’t come get us for swearing.’’ I told him as he nodded, his eyes catching my arms before he laughed and pointed.  
‘’Elm street Freddy?’’ He asked and I nodded with a smile,  
‘’Yeah,  that was Hamish’s idea’’ I told them as we all laughed. ‘’He loves Nightmare on Elm street’’ I told them, worried slightly once I had, what they thought about a five year old watching horrors.  
‘’That’s pretty rad, I think I would’ve loved to have a dad like you when I was his age’’ Isaac told me and I laughed before cuddling in to Adam more as he squeezed me softly.  
‘’Tommy dear’’ Turning I looked towards Leila with a smile, ‘’your mother called, she is on her way over’’ She told me and I smiled softly before nodded,  
‘’Thanks for telling me’’ I told her as she nodded and walked off again and I turned back in to Adam’s body again as I went back to listening to his and Sophie’s discussion.

  
Wondering off to check on the kids again, I threaded my fingers through my hair and smiled as I leant against the doorframe watching them, some of their parents still here sat near talking and smiling with each other before I noticed Hamish run towards me, crouching down I opened my arms to him and smiled as he folded himself against my body.  
‘’I love you daddy’’ He told me and I smiled softly before kissing the side of his head.  
‘’I love you too Hamish’’ I told him as he pulled away with a smile, ‘’You having a good party?’’ I asked as he nodded, ‘’Good good, go on then go finish up eating, I think grandma is going to play a few games with you all after you have all finished’’ I told him as he smiled and went running back over to the table again.  
‘’I don’t know how you do it’’ Turning, I saw Sophie stood looking towards me and I smiled softly before shrugging,  
‘’It’s not all that bad, sure parenthood has its hard parts but its all worth it at the end of the day when you see a smile on your kids face’’ I told her as she nodded and looked towards them all before placing her hand on her stomach again.  
‘’I can’t wait to be a mom but I’m just scared too, I mean I’ve never been prepared for parenthood, I know Isaac is going to make a great dad, I’m just scared that I’m going to lose my friends and other things too’’ She told me as I nodded,  
‘’The friends who stay with you are your true ones, when Hamish came in to my life, Sutan was the only one to stay when I changed my whole life basically so it wrapped itself around Hamish instead of myself. You are going to make a great mom too Sophie so don’t be scared, once your baby is here he or she is going to make you fall in love all over again’’ I told her as she smiled and walked over to me as she hugged me quickly. ‘’and for that being prepared stuff,  don’t be, life is so much better when you aren’t expecting things to happen.’’ I told her as she laughed.  
‘’You a good person to talk to, I might come to you more’’ She told me and I grinned a little as Adam and Isaac walked in to the kitchen laughing together.

‘’Hey baby’’ Adam spoke out as he wrapped his arms around me tightly and pulled me in to him more again, my own arms wrapping around his waist as I smiled and kissed him back quickly.  
‘’Hey, where did you wonder off too?’’ I asked him softly,  
‘’Just sorted out another gig with Isaac for November’’ He told me as I nodded and smiled towards him.  
‘’Sounds like a good plan, I’m coming for when you do’’ I told him and he chuckled softly and nodded.  
‘’Of course baby, wouldn’t want you to not come’’ Adam told me as I settled against his chest as we watch Hamish and his friends playing out in the garden together.  
‘’Thank you’’ I whispered so only Adam could hear me,  
‘’What for?’’ He asked and I shrugged slightly.  
‘’For everything, for being you and for being here with me and Hamish, for not freaking out when you found out about my kid’’ I told him softly before he laughed and pressed a light kiss to the corner of my lips again and pulled me in to a tighter hug again as his lips moved down to beside my ear.  
‘’Thank you yourself for giving me a chance’’ Adam whispered back to me and I smiled softly at him,  
‘’I was stupid for making you chase for so long’’ I told him before a soft aww make me look away and towards the other too as Isaac laughed along with Sophie, blushing slightly I buried my face in to Adam’s chest as it rumbled with laughter and his hand came up to stroke over the back of my neck.  
‘’There’s something I want to talk to you about soon’’ Adam whispered in to my ear and I nodded softly as I started to wonder about what it could be.

  
By the end of the night, I could feel myself starting to fall asleep as we finally got Hamish and his friends back to the house from the small trick 'r' treating which ending his party.  
''Tommy'' Turning I smiled towards Ma before walking over to her,  
''Everything okay?'' I asked as she nodded,  
''Of course, just wanted to let you know that every one has gone now'' She told me and I nodded again before yawning.  
''Thanks Ma'' I told her, moving slightly, I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her quickly before moving off in to the kitchen to help clean up.  
''Daddy daddy, look what I have'' Looking over at Hamish, I couldnt help but laugh as I saw the large jumper he was wearing.  
''What are you doing and whos jumper is that?'' I asked as I picked a few plates up and took them towards the sink.  
''I got cold and Adam let me wear it'' Hamish told me as I nodded with a smile.  
''Alright baby, go and sit down for a bit and calm down, it will be time for bed soon, grandma is going to take you home'' I told him before he whined a little,  
''But I want to stay here daddy, please let me stay here'' Hamish cried out a little, sighing I turned back around again and slipped the plates in to the water before drying my hands off and turned back to see that Adam had picked him up.  
''Yeah, please daddy stay here tonight'' Adam spoke out and I swallowed a little as I shook my head and looked down, smiling a little, I bit my lip before looking back up at them.  
''Im not going to win this one am I?'' I asked as both Hamish and Adam shook their heads. ''Alright, but you're taking him to school tomorrow'' I told Adam as I pointed at him.  
''Fine with me, just as long as I get to come home and climb back in to bed with you again.'' Adam counted back and I chuckled softly.  
''Only if you are quick, I have class tomorrow'' I yawned out to him as he nodded.  
''I will'' Adam told me as he quickly pressed a kiss to my cheek, ';'Im going to take the monster to bed'' He told me and I laughed softly and nodded.  
''Leave all that honey, we can clean it up'' Leila's voice sounded out as I placed another dish on to the sideboard to dry and glanced towards her,  
''I dont mind doing it really'' I told her as she smiled at me sweetly and walked over.  
''Well I do, no go get that pretty little face of yours in to the lounge and relax a little, theres beer in the fridge and Isaac and Sophie are still here somewhere'' She said as she pulled me away from the sink, chuckling softly I nodded and quickly dried my hands off before I took a beer bottle from the fridge and went in search of the others, looking around I frowned slightly before heading back in to the kitchen and out in to the garden where I quickly found Isaac sitting on the patio chairs which had been moved down on to the grass.  
''Hey man'' He called out as I walked closer, smiling I raised my beer slightly before dropping down in to the empty seat and tilted my head back with a small groan.  
''Feel like im going to fall asleep'' I muttered out which caused Isaac to laugh, smirking slightly I tilted my head over before frowning again, ''Where's Sophie?'' I asked him.  
''Using the bathroom at the moment'' He told me with a smile as I nodded, ''And Adam?''  
''Putting my monster to bed, but I swear he is going to kill me, he is wrapped around Hamish's little finger so tightly'' I laughed before taking a mouthful of beer.  
''I wouldnt say that, he's good with your little one'' He told me and I couldnt help smile. ''Im just hoping that I can change to fatherhood as quick as Adam''  
''You will be fine, sure it will be strange for the first few days but I promise you, you will cherish every moment'' I told him as he nodded with a smile before leaning over and raised his own beer bottle,  
''Here's to us yummy daddies'' Isaac grinned out, laughing I clinked my bottle against his before sitting back again.  
''Well I have to defferiently agree on the yummy daddies part'' Hearing Sophie's voice, I grinned a little before I felt fingers run through my hair, looking up to see Adam there too, I smiled warmly before standing and pushing him down in to the seat and curled on to his lap.  
''Of course, me and Tommy are dead yummy'' Isaac smirked out and I looked over with a grin.  
''And of course Adam is just drop dead gorgeous'' I commented before Isaac huffed slightly.  
''Well thank you very much Tommy, I thought I had you on my side'' He spoke out before busting in to laughter as he wrapped his arm around Sophie's waist as she sat down, hand flat against her stomach.  
''Im not complaining'' Adam told us which sent another round of laughter out.

 

Shifting slightly, I curled in to Adam tighter as his arms moved around me more, his warmth keeping me warm enough against the cold air before I yawned again.  
''How about we take you to bed too'' He whispered in to my ear as I slowly blinked my eyes open to see that we were alone.  
''Where's the other two?'' I asked as Adam's chest rumbled softly as he laughed,  
''They went home about half an hour ago'' He told me as I nodded. Walking up to the bedroom slowly, my body tucked against the side of Adam's until the bedroom door closed behind us, I yawned again and started to kick my shoes off and pull my clothes off before I crawled in to his bed and waited for Adam to join me which he quickly did with arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me back in to his chest.  
''You wanted to talk about something'' I yawned out to him as his fingertips trailed over my stomach slowly.  
''It can wait'' He whispered in to my ear, nodding softly, I turned over in his arms before curling in to his body again as sleep quickly pulled me under.


	13. Things keep happening not always for the best, but we can get though this together, me and you forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, im so, so so so sorry for the long wait for a new chapter in this fic, it's been over a month, nearly too, but finally at 22,020 words, this chapter is offical finished, a week over due from what I had planned. But I had wanted to get every little detail right for you guys because of how patient you are when it comes to me up dating.  
> And on other new's, I've reached a new mile stone on this fic in Word, the overall page count as it stands at the moment is 202 pages, and the overall word count is standing at 139,820!!
> 
> Im so happy, when I first started this fic, I had no idea that my chapters would reach as big as some of them has like this chapter has, but I write for you guys and for fun. It's something I do and I enjoy it and it makes me smile knowing that I've put a smile on someone elses face too :)   
> So please enjoy this chapter because I do know know when the the next chapter will be posted because of the length will no doubt be nice and long again, if your lukcy, it might even be up before Christmas, but not promising anything 

‘’Mhmm…’’ I mumbled out as I felt the bed dip slightly and then lips press against my temple as I curled up more, a soft chuckle echoing as I pulled the pillow closer to me and curled my arms around it.  
‘’Wake up’’ The soft voice whispered in to me ear and I muttered again before batting my hand near my ear.   
‘’No…waiting…Adam’’ I muttered out as I curled the covers up more again, ‘’Hamish…school’’ the soft chuckling was back again before the bed dipped more and a hand brushed my hair out my face,  
‘’Haven’t changed’’ They whispered and I groaned slightly before ducking my head under the pillows,  
‘’I told you to let him sleep, the kids had him running about like anything yesterday, poor thing’’ Another voice joined and I growled out slightly,  
‘’If you don’t have a dick which belongs to Adam, get lost’’ I muttered out from under the pillow before I was shoved slightly, ‘’fuckers, trying to sleep’’  
‘’Daddy you owe me two dollars’’ Hearing Hamish’s voice I sat up quickly and turned to look towards the door where he was stood still in his shorts and top.  
‘’You should be in school…why he isn’t in school mom?’’ I asked as I quickly scrambled out of bed and walked towards where I had a big for us on the floor of Adam’s room near the dresser, half unpacked and in the drawers, ‘’where’s Adam, he was going to take him ‘’ I muttered out, ‘’He’s had too much time off already ,he needs to go in’’ I cursed as I found some clean jeans and started to tug them on before finding a top in the drawer, I started to tug it over my head as I walked towards the door.  
‘’But I don’t want to go in Daddy I want to stay here with you and Auntie Lisa daddy, and grandma Leila and papa and everyone else’’ Hamish started to say as I shook my head and walked over to him, my hands sliding under his arms as I picked him up.  
‘’Baby, you need to go to school okay, you have- ….wait what did you say?’’ I asked him as his arms folded around my neck and he smiled.   
‘’I want to stay here with you and everyone else’’ He said,   
‘’He said he wanted to stay home Tommy, now be a good dad and let your kid spend some time with his Aunt’’ A voice appeared behind me as arms slipped over my shoulders, tilting my head slightly to see Lisa stood there, I broke out in to a large smile before putting Hamish down and turned, hugging her tightly as she laughed. ‘’so you’re happy to see me then’’ She whispered in to my ear as I nodded.   
‘’Of course I do, hate you for waking me up but…’’ I spoke out as I pulled away and looked at her, ‘’what the hell are you doing here Lisa?’’ I asked with a grin.   
‘’Im home now until the new year before term starts again’’ She told me and I laughed brightly, ‘’but now…tell me how the hell you scored the hot hunk when the last time I was here, you were still scared to get close’’  
‘’I guess everyone is falling in love with me lately’’ Hearing Adam’s voice, I turned to look at him with a smile to see Hamish in his arms and a grin on his lips.   
‘’Adam…this is Lisa my sister’’ I told him as he chuckled softly and nodded.   
‘’I know, we’ve already met, and… I might have called in sick for Hamish’’ He told me with a slight shrug as I laughed and walked over to him.   
‘’You are lucky I love you’’ I told him before leaning up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.   
‘’Okay, okay you may be my brother and im happy and all that but dudes come on, not in front of the kid’’ Lisa chuckled and I smirked softly,   
‘’Sorry Lisa, I’ll make sure your not around next time’’ I grinned before she shook her head. ‘’sorry baby’’ I laughed before I quickly darted around him and ran down the stairs as Lisa followed.

 

‘’You’ll get used to their childish ways’’ Dia told me and I turned to look at her as Hamish wiggled in my arms,  
‘’Im not sure if I want to or not’’ I chuckled as she laughed, setting Hamish down, I watched as he ran off down the stairs as I shook my head and turned back to Dia again.  
‘’Don’t worry Adam, it isn’t that bad, trust me I’ve had to deal with them together for almost 20 years’’ She laughed, nodding to her, I started to head down the stairs with her before I heard loud laughter coming from the garden.

‘’I’ve never seen siblings get on so well together’’ Mom spoke out as we headed in to the kitchen, a small grin towards me as I shrugged.   
‘’Blame Neil for most of the stuff,  I was the one always with Jane’’ I shrugged and laughed softly before walking towards the door and looked out in to the garden to see Tommy and Lisa talking before she pushed him over and it started in to a small play fight.  
‘’That is true, but you boys had your fights too sometimes’’ She told me and I grinned innocently before shrugging and started to make some drinks.   
‘’Im sure Adam was adorable as a little boy Leila, our Hamish is a spitting image of Tommy when he was Hamish’s age’’ Dia laughed as she joined mom at the kitchen table.   
‘’You have to have some photos around somewhere? Right…I mean I have to see them’’ I laughed out as Dia looked towards me and winked,   
‘’Im sure I can find some for you darling, although im sure Tommy wouldn’t be very happy about me sharing his baby photo’s with his boyfriend’’ She told me,   
‘’But isn’t that what mom’s are for? To embarrass their kids with their baby photos’’ I laughed softly as I raised my cup to my lips and took a sip,   
‘’You have a very good point there Adam and im sure Leila has a nice collection of you too’’ Dia chuckled as I blushed and shook my head slightly, walking towards the door again, I placed my drink on the counter top before I started to clean some paperwork of mine up.   
‘’Papa’’ Hearing Hamish, I turned slightly and smiled at him before I crouched as he came running over and jumped up at me, laughing as I dropped back on to my ass, I wrapped my arms around him tightly as he held the piece of paper up. ‘’I done this for you and daddy’’ He started to say, his little fingers pointing to the paper before it started to move around as he told me which each part was and who it was meant to be.

 

‘’He’s good for you TJ’’ Lisa told me as I sat up again and turned to look at her before looking towards where I saw Adam and Hamish was sat in the doorway, ‘’Never seen you so happy, im almost jealous of you and him’’ she grinned and I laughed softly before nodding.  
‘’I love him’’ I told her honestly as I watched Hamish point to the paper which Adam had hold of one end, a smile on both their lips before Adam kissed Hamish’s temple and said something to him.  
‘’Im glad you finally let someone new close enough to you though, I was starting to worry that you wouldn’t and you would give up your happiness’’ Lisa said and I turned back to look at her,   
‘’It took time but he didn’t give up and he didn’t run away when Hamish asked if he liked his daddy’’ I grinned out as she smiled at me and looked towards the other two again before back. ‘’part of me is still scared that Adam will wake up one morning, look at me and decide that being with someone with a kid isn’t for him but im just so happy that he never gave up on me when I pushed him away over and over again, he kept fighting his way until I let him in.’’ I told Lisa with a smile as her arm came up over my shoulders and I leaned in to her.   
‘’I wouldn’t know why anyone wouldn’t want to be with you Tommy, you are an amazing and caring person, dad told you that all the time.’’ Looking at her I swallowed a little before she stared at me. ‘’when did you go and see him last?’’ She asked and I looked away again before turning to look back towards Adam and Hamish as they both looked in to the kitchen.   
‘’It’s been a while’’ I admitted to her as I looked down again and picked at some of the grass, ‘’Adam said that he would take me to see him whenever I wanted it but im scared to ask him’’ I shrugged out.   
‘’Just ask Tommy, you just said yourself that he would take you whenever you wanted to go’’ Lisa said softly as I sighed and nodded. ‘’what’s the worse which he can say or do’’ She told me and I nodded again before looking up at her and smiled before I dropped my glaze.

Looking up from the ground again, I watched as Hamish turned to look up at Adam with a smile as he spoke and Adam nodded to him before he lent down and pressed a kiss to the top of his head and helped him to stand up before he ran out of view inside leaving Adam sat there shaking his head with a laugh before he turned and caught my eyes, a soft smile falling over his lips quickly before I smiled back at him, seeing him turn to look inside before he got to his feet quickly and walked away I turned back to look at Lisa to see her grinning at me.  
‘’That boy loves you alright, I don’t think I have ever seen anyone look at you so much with adoration other than that little boy and dad’’ She told me as her arm squeezed me softly and I blushed deeply.

‘’Tommy’’ turning to look towards the house, I smiled up at Leila, ‘’thought I would let you know that Sutan is here’’ She told me as I nodded.   
‘’Thanks Leila’’ I called out to her as she smiled and walked back inside again.   
‘’Move pretty boy, my Lisa is here’’ Sutan’s voice called out from inside the house somewhere and I laughed slightly as I turned to look at her as she rolled her eyes and let me go before we both stood up as he came out, ‘’Lisa darling’’ He cried out with laughter as he walked closer and she met him half way in a large hug before he pushed her away at arm’s length.   
‘’It’s lovely to see you again’’ Lisa told him as she kissed his cheek.   
‘’And yourself, god you look wonderful so perky looking…’’ Sutan trailed off and Lisa laughed nervously as I frowned slightly,   
‘’Lis?’’ I spoke out and she turned to look at me with a small blush  
‘’Ooooo did I just mention something I shouldn’t off honey?’’ Sutan asked before Lisa shook her head.   
‘’No its okay, they need to know soon’’ She said and I rose an eyebrow slightly, ‘’well I wasn’t going to tell you until I had you and mom together but…your going to be an uncle’’ Lisa said softly and I looked at her in shock before I grinned.  
‘’You have to be shitting me’’ I gasped out as she laughed and shook her head, ‘’Ohh my god, im going to be an uncle…fuck’’ I laughed out still in shock slightly as they laughed.   
‘’So you are happy about it then?’’ She asked and I grinned before walking over and pulled her in to a tight hug.   
‘’Aare you crazy…shit im going to be an uncle’’ I repeated with laughter before I pulled away, ‘’Can I tell Ma?’’ I asked before she nodded slowly.

Grinning I kissed her cheek before I turned and quickly ran back in to the Lambert’s kitchen laughing slightly as ma, Leila and Adam turned to look at me surprised.  
‘’Where’s Hamish?’’ I asked with a grin,   
‘’in my room’’ Adam told me as I nodded and turned towards the doorway,   
‘’Oh Ma by the way your going to be a grandmother again’’ I laughed before I ran out the room and up to Adam’s where Hamish was laid out on his stomach drawing. Dropping down beside him, I picked a colored pencil up and pulled another piece of paper towards me.   
‘’Daddy, are you mad that I didn’t go to school again today?’’ Hamish asked before I laughed softly and looked at him.   
‘’No baby im not mad’’ I told him softly, ‘’I was still all sleepy when Auntie Lisa woke me up and no one told me that you had been phoned in sick, I was worried’’ I told him before I lifted my arm up and he crawled over quickly and leaned in to my body.  
‘’Why does Auntie Lisa have to go away all the time?’’ Hamish asked and I chuckled softly.   
‘’She has to for school baby, just like you go to school apart from Auntie Lisa goes to a big school where she stays with friends in a house just like ours but on the grounds of her school’’ I explained as he nodded and turned back to his drawing again.

‘’You know, sometimes I don’t know who acts more like an adult’’ A voice spoke out from the doorway and I grinned softly, ‘’you or the five year old’’  
‘’Why don’t you come and join us papa’’ Hamish asked as he turned and knelt up slightly, his eyes wide as Adam chuckled but stepped further in to the room and dropped down on the other side of him.   
‘’What were you both drawing?’’ He asked and I blushed slightly before pulling my paper away a little and folded it, ‘’Tommy?’’ He asked and I shook my head slightly,   
‘’don’t know what you’re on about’’ I shrugged out innocently,   
‘’Oh I think you do’’ Adam said with a grin as I shook my head and blushed a little  
‘’you going to be okay here on your own kiddo?’’ I asked Hamish who nodded, smirking at Adam slightly I pushed myself up on to my feet and quickly ran out the room again, the paper folded in my hand tightly as I heard Adam laugh and then his footsteps behind me,   
‘’There isn’t anywhere to hide baby’’ Adam called out as I jumped down the last two steps and ran in to the kitchen laughing.   
‘’Tommy, what has gotten in to you?’’ Ma laughed out with Leila as I shrugged, hearing Adam running down the stairs, I grinned and glanced around before I moved towards the garden doors.   
‘’Told you that you have nowhere to go baby’’ Adam laughed as I turned and smiled towards him.   
‘’Boys’’ Ma spoke out as I laughed slightly  
‘’He wants to see what I drew’’ I grinned as I held the bit of folded paper up between my thumb and finger,   
‘’and he won’t let me, blushed when I asked about it so im interested’’ Adam breathed out with a grin as he stepped forward again. Hearing our parents laugh, I felt the door behind me open as I spun around quickly as Lisa walked in with Sutan, a smirk on their face, gripping the paper tighter, I glanced over my shoulder as Adam came closer.  
‘’This isn’t fair, don’t gang up on me’’ I laughed before I bit my lip slightly and smirked as I pushed my hand along with the paper down the front of my pants.  
‘’Oh dude that’s just gross, sorry Adam your on your own here, im not going anywhere near that thing’’ Lisa laughed as she walked around.   
‘’Tommy’’ Hearing Ma I turned slightly and grinned,   
‘’It’s my secret’’ I defended myself as I winked at Adam again, ‘’and plus it stops any of you from seeing it’’  
‘’Baby you know you will have to get changed sooner or later don’t you’’ Adam told me before I shrugged.   
‘’Who says, I might just stay like this’’ I laughed as he walked over and wrapped his arms around me before he pressed a soft kiss to the side of my temple.   
‘’He is right honey’’ Sutan said and I glanced over at him to see him handing a cup to Ma and Leila, ‘’for one I wouldn’t let you go out looking like that’’ Laughing slightly, I let myself lean in to Adam softly before I felt his lips against my ear.   
‘’If no one was watching us, my hand would be going down the front of your pants right now’’ He whispered and I felt my cheeks warm up slightly as I turned in to his chest to hide.

‘’So, im going to be a grandmother again’’ Ma spoke out and I giggled softly and buried myself in to Adams chest more, his arms folding around my waist, fingers balanced on the edge of my pants, threaten to slide under it I moved around too much. ‘’Tommy’’ Ma spoke out and I grinned slightly before shrugging.   
‘’don’t look at me, im pretty sure that the last time I checked that I can’t get pregnant, nor could Adam’’ I spoke out before a soft laugh ran out,   
‘’Yeah…I was going to tell you guys over dinner but its out now, I don’t have to wear baggy hoody’s now’’ Lisa said with a laugh before she started to pull the one she had on off and Ma turned to look at her with a smile.   
‘’That’s wonderful honey, do you know the sex yet?’’  
‘’Yeah we do’’ Lisa grinned out and I laughed softly before I escaped Adam’s arms and walked over to where she was sat and sat down on the floor beside her, my hands moving up to rest against her stomach.  
‘’You better be having a girl’’ I warned her with a mock glare before it faded quickly in to a grin as I felt the baby move, ‘’fuck that’s so cool, I never saw Andie when she was this big so I never felt anything like that’’ I gushed out as everyone laughed. ‘’what its true’’  
‘’I know and you are right Tommy, it’s a little girl’’ Lisa said and I looked up at her with a large smile before dropping my eyes back down to her stomach again as I felt the baby kick again.  
‘’Well im happy for you Lisa, it’s about time I had some more females around the place’’ Ma spoke and I heard Sutan huff slightly  
‘’Im enough to settle with Raja’’ he chuckled.   
‘’There’s something else which I want to ask as well Tommy and you Adam’’ Lisa said as I stood and I looked at her confused before I glanced over at Adam to see him the same before I turned back,  
‘’And what’s that?’’ I asked as she smiled softly, a hand moving to rest against her stomach.   
‘’I want you both’’ She started to say before holding her hands out to us, taking them I grinned as she pulled us closer and moved our hands together before taking our free ones in hers again as she stood. ‘’I want you both to be my baby’s godfathers’’ She told us and I stared at her in shock,   
‘’what…I…’’ I trailed off as she laughed and touched my jaw softly,   
‘’I want you and Adam to be baby Josephine’s godfathers Tommy’’ Lisa said again as Adam chuckled and let my hand go before hugging Lisa,   
‘’I would be honored Lisa’’ Adam told her before he chuckled softly, ‘’and im sure Tommy would say the same if he had words’’, hearing the laughter, I shook my head slightly before I looked at her again.   
‘’Josephine’’ I said and Lisa laughed softly and nodded,   
‘’Yeah, we couldn’t find any names close enough to Tommy for a girl so we had to settle with your middle name’’ She told me and I felt my eyes grow wide a little more as I stared at her.   
‘’You…you named her after me’’ I asked as she nodded with a smile,  
‘’Yeah we did, I hope you don’t mind’’   
‘’What…no…oh god’’ I breathed out slightly before I rubbed my hands over my eyes, ‘’shit’’ I muttered before I reached down and pulled the paper out my pants as the edge jabbed me in the groin again, throwing it on the side, I stepped forward and wrapped her in a massive hug and buried my face in to her neck. 

 

  
‘’I love you Tommy, I couldn’t ask for a better brother’’ Lisa whispered to Tommy, smiling at them both, I felt a hand on my arm and I turned to look at Sutan with a smile before he nodded to the counter, frowning I turned and looked to see the paper Tommy had hidden form me before I grinned softly and reached over, picking it up I pushed it in to my pocket as Tommy pulled away from his sister and wiped at his eyes again.  
Letting my hand slide in other the paper, I leaned against the counter softly as I watched everyone, everything felt perfect to me and I loved the feeling it gave me inside after all the times I had made my parents move because of the hate I had gotten myself, meeting Tommy had been the best thing to ever happen to me and I was thankful that I could help him out as well as myself.   
‘’Papa why is daddy crying, has something bad happened?’’ Hearing Hamish’s voice, I turned and looked down at him with a smile before I picked him up again,   
‘’No baby, daddy is just happy that’s all, everything is okay’’ I told him as he nodded and wrapped his arms around my neck and rested his head against my shoulder as he yawned, ‘’how about a little nap?’’ I asked Hamish as he nodded slightly, glancing up at Tommy, I smiled softly to myself before I kissed the top of Hamish’s head and turned around, heading back up to the spare room, I pushed the door open and crossed over to the bed where I put him down, laughing softly as he crawled under the covers, I tucked him in before sitting on the edge of the bed.

‘’Can you read me a story Adam?’’ Hamish asked and I looked up at him before smiling softly,   
‘’Sure kiddo, but im not sure we have any books really’’ I told him as I glanced around the room and tried to think of the place I saw his books last.   
‘’It’s okay, you can make one up for me’’ He told me and I turned back and laughed softly before nodding,  
‘’Scoot up then squirt’’ I told him as he laughed but moved over, turning so I was laid out beside him, I smiled to myself as he moved closer and wiggled in until he was pressed against my side. ‘’comfortable’’ I asked as he nodded and gave me a large smile which made me chuckle before I pulled the covers up over us a little more.   
‘’I want princes and princess in it papa’’ Hamish told me and I nodded softly,   
‘’Alright then’’ I grinned.   
‘’And big bad wolves…’’   
‘’Okay, Once upon a time…’’  
‘’And Fairy godparents’’ Hamish said again and I chuckled softly,  
‘’Okay but you have to be quiet now baby’’ I told him as he nodded quickly, eyes wide as he brought his fingers across his lips in a zipping motion, ‘’alright’’ I said again as I settled down a little more and wrapped my arm around his waist as I started to thread my fingers through his hair with my other, ‘’once upon a time, not in a land to far from here lived a beautiful prince, now this beautiful prince was sad he wanted to find another prince who would love him but he was scared, all the other princes would be mean to him when he went to prince school apart from one, now Prince Sutan was a very kind prince and he always made sure his friend Prince Tommy was okay’’ I told him softly, my eyes on him as he smiled up at me,  ‘’but then one day a new prince came to town looking for his prince charming and he saw prince Tommy one day in the halls and thought that he looked beautiful but he saw how the other princes would be mean to him and call him nasty names, this new prince didn’t like it at all but then the nasty princes found him and started to talk and he didn’t want to be treated the same way, they became friends although the new prince just wanted to go and comfort prince Tommy and hold him tightly’’ I whispered out with a smile before I sighed gently.  
‘’What did the new prince do next papa?’’ Hamish asked with a yawn,  
‘’Im getting there, just close your eyes baby’’  
‘’Okay’’  
‘’See prince Tommy had a lot of things hidden inside his heart which he didn’t want known for fear he would be hurt more, the new prince didn’t know this so he started to watch prince Tommy and it scared him’’ I whispered before I heard footsteps outside the room, glancing up towards the door to see no one there, I smiled and turned back to Hamish, ‘’so he went to prince Sutan and asked about him but he was warned that prince Tommy was special and that only a very special prince could win his heart, but the new prince still wanted to know prince Tommy so he kept on trying to be near him and be friends but then one day the new prince done something very bad and it upset prince Tommy lots but he didn’t mean too’’ Watching Hamish as he curled his fingers around my hand, I couldn’t help but smile down at him before I yawned myself and ran my fingers through his hair again, ‘’so he went around to where prince Tommy lived to say sorry and beg for his forgiveness, he knew that he wanted prince Tommy to be his and he would do whatever it would take to have him fall in love with the new prince.’’  
‘’What did he do?’’ Hamish asked quietly,  
‘’He told prince Tommy he was sorry and he was invited inside prince Tommy’s kingdom but while there prince Tommy’s own little prince appeared and it scared prince Tommy because no one knew about the little prince which lived inside the kingdom with his daddy and his grandma the queen but knowing this, it didn’t scare the new prince off, it only made him want to be part of prince Tommy’s life even more, he wanted to show the two princes that love existed in the world and that not every big bad wolf was scary’’

 

Leaning against the wall outside the bedroom, I couldn’t help but grin to myself as I listened to Adam tell Hamish his story, my heart swelling more before I heard footsteps on the stairs and I turned to see Sutan walking up before towards me, lifting my hand up to my lips he frowned slightly before I nodded to the bedroom doorway as he got closer.   
‘’Now the two princes took the little ones to the zoo for a day out in the vast kingdom and the new prince couldn’t help but smile at everything because he had finally won the heart of price Tommy, he knew that he would never hurt him and the little prince because he wanted them in his life forever and ever, no other prince would be able to replace his heart…’’ I heard Adam whisper before I turned back to look at Sutan as he smiled and moved his hand over his chest before reaching out, letting him take my hand and then lead me down and away  from the room before walking down the stairs again.  
‘’Do you think I can steal him from you?’’ Sutan asked and I laughed softly before shaking my head,   
‘’you heard him, no other prince would be able to still his heart from Prince Tommy’’ I grinned back before we entered the kitchen and Ma looked at me confused. ‘’Adam’s telling Hamish a story’’ I told her as she nodded and chuckled softly.   
‘’That boy is just full of wonders Leila, he’s wonderful’’ Ma said towards her and I blushed softly as I settled down in to one of the kitchen chairs.   
‘’I was surprised when Adam first told me about Tommy’’ Leila said and I looked up with a small blush as she looked towards me, ‘’no nothing bad honey, it just shocked me because of how quickly he fell for someone, you have heard about his past’’ She asked and I frowned but nodded slightly,  
‘’Only a little, that you have moved around a few times because of bullying towards him and Jane’’ I said as she nodded with a sigh,  
‘’Yes but the move to here was the last one, I was worried about Adam’s safety’’ Leila explained, ‘’the last place we were wasn’t a good one once people found out Adam was gay, he had been going out with this boy for a few weeks secretly so no one knew, none of them was out to the city we were living in but someone found out and it turned out that the boy Adam was seeing wasn’t really gay, well not totally, he was bi-sexual well, Adam wanted to end things because he was growing tired of keeping them a secret but the other didn’t want to so he started to spread rumors of how Adam had tried it on with him in the lockers room and how he would watch other boys’’ Leila sighed before Sutan reached over and touched her hand softly with a smile.  
‘’That’s terrible Leila’’ Lisa spoke out and they nodded.   
‘’Yes but it was the last straw when Adam was cornered one day when he was on the way home, his car had gotten a flat tire so he had to pull over on the side of a road, he called his dad as he didn’t have a spare one in the car and was waiting against it when a few boys from the college spotted him and they pulled over’’ She said and I felt my stomach tighten slightly as I swallowed,   
‘’What happened?’’ I forced myself to say as Leila’s eyes met mine sadly,   
‘’Adam was beaten badly, he suffered a few broken bones and had to have a lot of stitches, he still has a few scars along his back and sides, including one on his leg where they tried to stab him’’ Breathing out slightly, I turned and stared towards the hallway before back again.   
‘’I didn’t know’’ I whispered and their heads turned to face me,   
‘’Im sure you’ve seen his body plenty of times in bed honey’’ Sutan winked out as I blushed.   
‘’He sleeps with a shirt on’’ I told him,   
‘’Even when you have sex?’’ Sutan asked and I felt my cheeks grow hotter as I glanced down and rubbed the back of my neck.   
‘’We…umm…we’ve only slept together once’’ I admitted quietly before raising my eyes,   
‘’I think I know what night that was’’ Leila said softly and I blushed again as Ma laughed and patted my arm softly,   
‘’Im just glad you had a nice birthday baby’’ She told me before I groaned and leaned forward to rest my forehead against the table with a soft thump.   
‘’Please stop talking about my sex life, I would love to live thank you very much’’ I mumbled out to laughter before it died out slowly again, ‘’what else happened to Adam?’’ I asked as I slowly sat up and looked back towards Leila.   
‘’He was lucky, the knife wound missed anything important, so there wasn’t a lot of blood lose, but we wasn’t sure what else might of happened to him if another car didn’t pass the group, we don’t know who was driving but they had called the cops. The group was arrested for assault and a little later on, attempted murder, the police had put the group in to a room together to try and get them in to dropping information by mistake which paid out good because one of them mentioned how they should’ve just stabbed Adam first before beating him up’’ Leila said sadly as I nodded and looked back down at the table, ‘’it was then that we had agreed that as soon as Adam was better we would move again, that was when Neil decided to stay with my parents because he didn’t want to leave, it was hard to let him at first but we only agreed as we knew how many times we had moved before unsettled him. We stayed there for three months, Adam was in the hospital for one of them as he recovered, when he left and came home he was still quite hurt but most of the bruises had faded and cuts healed, we spent the next month packing and looking for another place to live, Eber was driving through this part of town to come home after work one day when he saw the for sale sign outside and we came down a few days later to look around and fell in love with the place.’’  
‘’How long have you been here for?’’ Sutan asked softly as he got up and started to make tea for everyone again.

‘’For a year now’’ She said and I frowned as I looked up at her,  
‘’But Adam only started the college a few months ago’’ I said and she nodded,  
‘’He didn’t want to start while he was still healing, he also found it hard to move around for long amounts of time with his leg without limping, while we was recovering fully, he changed his appearance and promised himself that he wasn’t going to get attached to another boy until college was over and he found his own place to live, he didn’t want anything to happen to him again but then that first day he saw you Tommy’’ Leila smiled as I blushed.  
‘’Yeah I remember, that wasn’t a good day for me’’ I admitted and blushed as I felt Lisa and Ma’s stares on me.   
‘’I remember too, Adam had came home looking angry, going on about how fake he felt and how he just wanted to wrap you up in his arms the moment he saw you get pushed in to the lockers ‘’ Leila said and I blushed brightly as I glanced towards Sutan. ‘’ he kept going on about how each time they mentioned some names, the memories of his attack came back’’  
‘’that’s why he gave me that jar’’ I spoke out and Leila frowned slightly,  
‘’What do you mean honey?’’ She asked, her hands wrapped around her cup as I breathed out slightly.   
‘’When I was pushed in to the lockers, the grates cut my cheek and he appeared in the bathrooms when I went to leave…gave me some jar and told me to use it to hide the mark’’ I told her as she smiled softly and nodded,  
‘’The lotion, it has a foundation type base which helps to cover scars, we found it after a few different lotions failed to work, Adam doesn’t like to look at the scars because the remind him of the attack sometimes, so he acts like they aren’t there and that the attack never happened to him’’ Leila said and I nodded softly.

‘’Im going to go check on Adam and take him a drink’’ I told them all as I finished making two coffees and picked them up again,  
‘’Aww my baby brother’s gone all domestic’’ Lisa chuckled and I blushed slightly before flipping her off,  
‘’Leave your brother alone Lisa’’ Ma told her before I stuck my tongue out and started to head back out in to the hallway, walking back upstairs again I couldn’t help but smile to myself as I walked towards the spare room and paused in the doorway to see Adam laid out beside Hamish still, his own eyes closed and arms holding him close as he too slept. Placing the drinks down on the side unit as I walked over, I carefully pulled the covers up over them more before leaning down and pressed a soft kiss to Hamish’s forehead.  
‘’Interrupting my story’’ A mumble escaped and I turned to look at Adam as he shifted slightly, chuckling to myself softly, I moved and pressed a kiss to his lips lightly before pulling away again.  
‘’You fell asleep, I didn’t do anything’’ I told him softly as I let my fingers slide through his hair as he smiled and wrapped an arm around my waist once he worked it out from under the covers.  
‘’Love you baby’’ He mumbled out softly again.   
‘’I love you too Adam, go back to sleep’’ I whispered as I leant down and kissed his forehead like I had done with Hamish.  
Smiling as he shifted slightly and curled himself back around my son, I picked my drink up and stood there watching them as I slowly sipped at it, I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to be with someone like Adam, everything about him was wonderful and the way he acted with Hamish was amazing.  
Finishing my drink off, I settled it back down on the stand again and tucked the covers around them both a little more again before I climbed up on to the bed on the other side and laid watching them again, my hand resting over Hamish’s stomach as I let my foot slide between Adam’s, before long I felt my own eyes grow heavy before sleep pulled me under.

Stirring slightly as I felt fingers slide through my hair, I grumbled out before turning over on to my side and breathed out deeply before I felt an arm slide around my waist and then a body pressed along the back of mine and warm breath on the back of my neck as a kiss was set against my skin.  
‘’I have to go out for an hour’’ The voice whispered against my skin before another kiss was pressed just behind my ear, ‘’mom is taking Hamish to the park with Lisa and Sutan and Dia has gone home’’ He whispered in to my ear as I nodded sleepily.   
‘’Kiss’’ I mumbled out as I shifted again on to my back before I felt Adam’s lips press against mine softly, kissing him back slowly, I let my arm curl around his neck until he pulled away and pecked my lips again and then moved off the bed, I turned back over and curled myself around one of the pillows before I felt the covers get drawn up over me more.

Waking up again, I stretched out in the bed and glanced around before I slowly climbed out and headed out and down to Adam’s room where I grabbed some clean clothes and changed in to them, making my way downstairs again I glanced around before I remember Adam telling me where everyone had gone too. It still felt strange being alone in Adam’s home even though it was where I had been a lot more lately instead of being at home but no one seemed to mind and I knew that Hamish liked to play with Jane a lot and even Neil sometimes when he came out his room.  
Making another cup of coffee, I took it and went and sat out on the decking outside as I sipped at it slowly, just taking the view in and the fresh before I heard the sound of the lock being turned. Standing up I walked back in to the kitchen as the front door opened, walking to the doorway, I smiled as I noticed Adam walk through before he shut the door again and turned, his eyes catching mine before he smiled.  
‘’I feel like I should make one of those honey im home jokes’’ He told me and I laughed softly before I walked over and pressed a kiss to his lips.   
‘’Well honey…’’ I smirked out to him softly, ‘’we are home alone still’’ I whispered to him with a soft smile as he stared at me before a grin slowly started to spread out over his lips and he nodded, ‘’and im sure somewhere this morning you mentioned your hand and my pants’’ I teased before I walked back in to the kitchen and set the cup down as Adam walked in and placed the bags down before he turned and looked at me.   
‘’Bedroom’’ We both said at the same time before laughing, nodding I grinned as we both turned and quickly ran out of the kitchen and up the stairs to Adam’s room where we collapsed on his bed locked in each other’s arms, lips pressed together deeply as Adam slowly turned us so he was holding his weight above me.  
‘’I love you my prince’’ Adam whispered against my lips as I felt his hand trail down my chest and to the top of my jeans before he worked the button and zip down.   
‘’Love you too’’ I breathed back to him as his hand slipped down inside jean and boxers, arching up ion to his touch slightly, I let my arms fold around his neck tightly before his lips claimed mine in a bruising kiss again.

‘’Fuck Adam’’ I gasped out as I arched in to his touch again, lip caught between my teeth as his lips moved down over my throat, hand still stroking inside my pants before it became too much and I slowly pushed his hand away with a heavy breath.  
‘’So beautiful’’ Adam murmured against my neck as he worked his lips up to my ear, ‘’my beautiful boy’’ He whispered brokenly as his hips jerked against my thigh slightly and he let a soft groan out, forehead dropping down against my shoulder as we both breathed out together, heartbeats fast against our chest as we chuckled softly and I wrapped my arms around him.   
‘’I feel lime im 14 again and Ma is due home any time soon and im meant to be studying with a friend’’ I breathed out which caused Adam to laugh before he slowly raised his head to look at me.   
‘’Naughty boy’’ He whispered and I grinned before leaning down to press a kiss to his lips.   
‘’But you love me’’ I teased as he nodded,   
‘’we should get cleaned up before anyone does come home’’ Adam said slowly as I nodded knowing that we didn’t really want to move but knowing that we had too. Slowly untangling myself from Adam’s body, I stood and groaned slightly at the feeling before I walked over to my bag and pulled out  some clean boxers and pants, turning I smiled softly as I saw Adam doing the same in the drawers before we both headed in to the bathroom.

Leaving the bathroom half an hour and a few gropes later, we found ourselves sat at the kitchen table sharing lazy kisses over coffee as the front door opened again and we slowly pulled away from each other and looked towards the doorway as Sutan walked through with Hamish and the others.  
‘’Oh how cute’’ Sutan gasped out and I chuckled softly as I leaned further back in to Adam, his arms tighten around my waist more from where I was sat on his lap.   
‘’Behave now Sutan’’ Leila told him and I couldn’t help but laugh again as I pressed another kiss to his jaw before I worked my way out of his hold and over to where the kettle was before I started to make everyone a drink.  
Drinks made and everyone sat around the table again, I offered Adam a soft smile as I walked around and sat back down on his lap again as his arms slide around my waist, lips pressing a soft kiss to my shoulder before he rested his chin on it.

 

‘’Mom’’ Hearing a voice come from the hallway again, I rolled my eyes and gave Tommy a soft squeeze as mom answered, ‘’Ugh gross’’ Neil muttered out as he walked in and looked towards us,   
‘’You owe me ten dollars Neil’’ Hamish told him as he stomped around and stood glaring at him with his hands on his hips and I chuckled softly.   
‘’How do I squirt’’ Neil asked as he crouched down.   
‘’Because you said mean things towards my daddy and papa and that isn’t nice’’ Hamish told him and I looked up at Tommy as he laughed before biting his lip.   
‘’Baby’’ Tommy said softly and Hamish turned to look towards him before he shrugged,  
‘’But he said you were gross and that’s mean’’ Hamish whined and Tommy chuckled softly,  
‘’He was only messing around baby, he didn’t mean it really’’  
‘’Look how about I take you and we raid the freezer in the other room to see if there’s any ice cream’’ Neil asked as he picked Hamish up and he giggled, ‘’that’s only if its okay with you’’ Neil asked as he turned to look towards Tommy who nodded before leaning back in to my chest more, our hands slipping together and fingers tangling.

‘’So Adam, how is everything sorting out?’’ Mom asked me and I looked up at her quickly in panic before she noticed the look, ‘’I mean with college other than catching Tommy’’ She quickly grinned out and I breathed out slightly and tried to ignore the look which Lisa and Sutan was given me before I shrugged.   
‘’Quite good actually, most of the tutors are nice’’ I told her as she nodded.   
‘’That’s good, im going to make a start on dinner, are you going both going to stay?’’ Mom asked Lisa and Sutan before they shook their heads.   
‘’I would love to but I told mom that I would spend tonight with her before Eric comes down tomorrow to meet the family and I have to prepare him for Tommy’s strange ways’’ Lisa told her as she stood with a smile, ‘’but it was nice meeting you Leila and Adam its nice to see someone brave enough to chase after my baby brother’’ Lisa said and I chuckled softly before nodding.   
‘’It was nice meeting you too’’ I told her as she smiled and glanced at Sutan who smiled and stood.   
‘’I told her I would drive her back as Ma brought her around and im not letting my women waddle all the way home with baby’’ He grinned which caused everyone to laugh  
‘’I will show you guys out’’ Mom said before they left us alone in the kitchen.

‘’So what was that panicked look about when your mom asked you if you had everything sorted out?’’ Tommy asked and I looked up at him as his fingertips stroked across the nape of my neck and I sighed softly.   
‘’I wasn’t going to say anything until it was all sorted but remember at the party I said I wanted to talk to you but then that it could wait’’ I told him softly before he nodded and moved slightly on my lap to look at me more. ‘’Well I wanted to talk to you because I wanted to ask you something important’’ I said quietly before Tommy’s face fell in to a frown slightly.   
‘’I don’t understand’’ He said softly,  
‘’Umm…I…I want you to move in with me baby, I miss you so much when you aren’t here with me or im not at yours, I miss being woken up by Hamish coming in and jumping on us, I miss watching you both at meals so what im asking is…Tommy will you move in with me’’ I said softly as I looked at him and then quickly at the doorway as I heard mom walking back before changing direction before I turned back to look at Tommy again, his eyes on mine as he stared, swallowing slightly as the silence grew, I started to feel my heart crash against my chest before Tommy’s hand slipped down over my chest and heart.  
‘’’’Your hearts crazy’’ He whispered as I nodded.   
‘’Im scared shitless’’ I admitted  
‘’Why?’’  
‘’Because im worried im moving too quic-‘’ I started to say before his lips against mine cut me off mid sentence before he pulled away with a soft smile.   
‘’Adam you are not moving too fast, I would love to move in with you but do you think there’s really enough room here for me and Hamish?’’ He asked and I swallowed slightly again.   
‘’That was the other thing I wanted to say…it wouldn’t be here’’ I said softly.   
‘’Then where’’ He asked as his lips pressed a soft kiss to my cheek,   
‘’I’ve brought a place not too far from college and Hamish’s school and its pretty close to here and your moms place, and there’s also this little park nearby which is gorgeous and I know Hamish would love going to play there’’ I told him before he pulled away and stared at me.   
‘’You’ve really thought about this haven’t you?’’ Tommy asked and I swallowed slightly before nodding.   
‘’I just want the best for my boys’’ I whispered to him as he smiled and nodded.   
‘’When can we move in’’ He grinned and I laughed softly before pulling him closer to me again.   
‘’Whenever you want baby’’ I told him as he smiled and nodded.   
‘’You will have to give me the address so I can change some of my details over like my bank and everything and then Hamish’s school records too and then college oh god there’s so much to do’’ Tommy gasped out and I chuckled softly before trailing my hand across his lower back and up his spine before I pressed my lips against his jaw.   
‘’We will sort everything out Tommy, now when do you want to tell the monster?’’ I asked which had him laughing.   
‘’How about in a bit at dinner’’ He asked and I nodded softly before raising an eyebrow when Tommy caught his lower lip between his teeth, ‘’he’s busy with your brother and im sure your mom will be back in a bit to sort dinner out so we have some time and you do have your little hidden room at the back of the summer house’’ He whispered in to my ear and I glanced towards the kitchen door before pushing my hand up under Tommy’s shirt and let my fingers spread out between his shoulder blades before I pulled it away again.  
‘’You go sort everything out and I will be out in a second, gunna tell mom that you are going to move in with me and that…we are…going to study’’ I winked out before pressing a soft kiss to his lips again as he laughed quietly.  
‘’Don’t take too long’’ Tommy whispered to me before he climbed off my lap and I watched him as he walked out in to the garden and then jogged over to the summer house, smiling to myself I ran my hand through my hair before I stood and headed in to the lounge where I found mom sat on the couch beside Hamish and Neil watching TV.   
‘’Uhh…he said yes mom’’ I grinned out as she turned to look at me with a wide smile.   
‘’That’s amazing baby, when are you going to start boxing everything?’’ She asked quietly before I shrugged.   
‘’Not sure yet but I think we are going to sort out all the details first but me and Tommy are going to go study for a bit’’ I told her as she smiled and nodded, seeing Neil turn out the corner of my eye I glanced towards him to see him smirk before turning back to Hamish again.  
‘’Okay sweetie, I will call you boys in when dinners ready’’ Nodding to her, I smiled and headed back through the house before I jogged across the grass and to the back of the summer house where I slipped inside and stopped dead as I stared across at Tommy.

‘’Fuck’’ I muttered out as I swallowed slightly and stepped a little closer to the bed, my eyes falling over the soft curve of Tommy’s bare chest before my eyes trailed down to where his hand was resting on his stomach, fingertips touching the top of his pants.  
‘’Going to stand there all day Lambert or are you going to come kiss me?’’ Tommy groaned out slightly, the sound knocking me out of my trance as I crossed the room and knelt on the bed beside him, lowering down until my forearm was resting on the pillows beside his head, I smiled softly and claimed his lips in a soft kiss before I felt both of his arms come up and wrap around my neck softly as I let my body move and cover his gently.  
Pulling away slowly, I looked down at him and ran my fingertips through his hair as he smiled up at me softly, ‘’I love you’’ I whispered to him as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.   
‘’I love you too Adam, so much’’ He whispered which had me smiling as I leant down and softly brushed my lips over the tip of his nose which made him laugh and rock under me until I fell on to the bed beside him with a soft laugh.  
Leaning up on my elbow slightly, I let my eyes trace over Tommy’s perfect skin with a soft sigh before I reached out and let my fingertips slide down his side before coming around on to his chest.  
‘’You’re so perfect’’ I whispered to him as he shifted and my eyes went up to his face.   
‘’Take your top off’’ He whispered to me and I stared at him in shock slightly  
‘’what…why’’ I asked slightly as he sighed and moved a hand up to my jaw,   
‘’Please Adam…just trust me’’ He whispered and I swallowed slightly and closed my eyes as I nodded. Sitting up slowly, I glanced down at Tommy again as he laid back down and moved his arm up under his head and stared at me, raising my hands up to the collar of my top before I started to pull it up and then off again as I leaned over Tommy and dropped it down, my breath catching in my throat as I felt Tommy’s touch against a few of the scars which were on my back.   
‘’I’ve never noticed them before’’ He whispered as I turned my head slightly to look at him, his eyes on my skin as I breathed out slightly, ‘’even when you have been without a top on’’ His voice held wonder before he turned to look at me, moving away slightly as he sat up, I let him push me down softly until I was laid back on again, his fingers tracing over the few scars which came on to my side, his touch making me shiver slightly.  
‘’I normally have them hidden’’ I whispered as he nodded and turned to look back at my face again.   
‘’The stuff in the jar which you gave me on that first day’’ Tommy said quietly and I nodded before his hands fell down to my waist. ‘’will you turn over so I can see…I…I want to touch and kiss them all?’’ He asked and I froze slightly as I stared at him, the same look which he had in his eyes when I found out about Hamish and found him pacing in his lounge was in his eyes again before I slowly nodded. Watching as he backed away slightly, I pushed myself back up until I was sitting before turning over and lay out on my stomach again, my arms curling around a pillow slightly as I felt his first touch against my skin again.

‘’Why didn’t you tell me’’ Tommy’s voice was soft and I swallowed a little as I hugged the pillow closer under me.   
‘’I didn’t want you to think of me not being perfect’’ I whispered and I heard the broken choke before Tommy’s lips against my shoulder blade.   
‘’Your stupid’’ Tommy whispered to me, ‘’you are perfect Adam, scars doesn’t make you imperfect’’ He whispered again as I nodded stiffly.  
Letting myself relax under his touch slightly as his fingers flittered over the skin on my back, every so often stopping to lightly trace the length of a scar before his lips followed, feeling his hands move towards my lower back, I swallowed slightly before I felt his touch trace the scar which wrapped around on to my side slightly, his lips following before I felt a cold wetness and I turned slightly to see tears in his eyes as he lifted his head to look at me.   
‘’Baby’’ I whispered as I turned over and pulled him in to my arms tightly as a few more tears fell.   
‘’It’s not fair that you got hurt like this’’ He whispered to me, ‘’I want to find those guys and do the same thing they done to you to them’’ Breathing out slightly, I held him tighter before I kissed the top of his head.   
‘’Don’t think like that baby, they were bad people and they got what was coming to them, im alive and breathing still and that is all which matters Tommy, im alive and living and im with you’’ I told him softly as I pulled away slightly and cupped his face to turn it up to me, ‘’I survived that attack and for a long time I wish I didn’t because I was ashamed that it had happened to me, but I didn’t and im here today with the most beautiful boy which I’ve ever seen who has the sweetest son too. I never thought I would be a good dad, never thought I would get the chance to be a parent but you gave me that chance baby and im so thankful because of it, because of you…Im…im going to prove to you that I can be the best boyfriend to you and the second best father figure to Hamish.’’ I whispered as another tear fell from his eyes and he nodded slightly, raising my thumb up, I softly wiped the tear away from his skin, ‘no matter what ever happens, we can get though it together baby because its me and you forever’’ I whispered as he smiled and raised up slightly, lips brushing against mine as I kissed him back just as softly.

Pulling away, I rested my forehead against his again and breathed out, his eyes closed before he slowly pulled away and pushed me back down again as his hands went to my pants, my eyes wide as he chuckled softly. ‘’I told you I wanted to touch and kiss them all Adam, including the one on your leg’’ He told me softly and I nodded slightly and helped him undo my pants before I shuffled out of them slightly and dropped them down on to the floor before his hands ran up my thighs.  
‘’What are you thinking?’’ I asked him as his eyes met mine again,   
‘’Just wondering how I missed them all, I mean the stuff you used to cover them would come off in the showers and we have had a few of those together yet I still haven’t noticed the scars before’’ Nodding to his words, I moved my arm up above my head again as I watched him watch his fingers as they traced over the small scar on my thigh before it dawned on me.   
‘’How did you know about them all’’ I asked and he glanced up at me softly.   
‘’Your mom told us’’ Tommy whispered as his thumb softly covered part of the scar, ‘’I felt sick hearing what those bastard’s done to you and all I could think was…what would’ve happened if that car hadn’t drove past and called the cops or what would of happened if they done this in a different way’’ He said softly as his palm moved up over the scar on my leg and I nodded softly.  
Watching Tommy as he leaned down and pressed his lips against the skin just below the scar, I swallowed slightly before he slowly inched his lips up over it softly, the feeling tickling slightly and causing a blush to form over my chest and cheeks a little as his hair brushed my inner thighs, no one had ever been like this with me and in a strange way I liked the attention Tommy was giving each scar, I was glad he didn’t think they made me imperfect and that he didn’t turn his nose away from them. Feeling wetness against it, I gasped slightly before turning to look back down at him again as he flicked his eyes up with a small grin before he trailed his tongue across the scar again and I breathed out a little.   
‘’What are you thinking?’’ Tommy asked me and I chuckled softly,   
‘’That you are beautiful and im a lucky son of a bitch to be with you’’ I told him truthfully as he blushed slightly and looked down as he kissed the scar once more and lifted himself up so he was over my body, wrapping my arms around his waist, I pulled him down so his weight was resting against me.

Staring in to his brown eyes, I smiled softly before raising my head slightly and was met by his lips meeting mine half way as we kissed softly, rolling so I was resting over him, I let my hand fill out over his jaw and neck softly as we shared slow kisses until I heard mom’s faint voice saying that dinner was ready.   
‘’Always the same’’ I breathed out as Tommy chuckled and pressed a warm kiss to my shoulder,   
‘’we both knew that we didn’t have a lot of time Adam’’ He whispered as I sighed and nodded.   
‘’I know, but it was still plenty of time for us’’ I told him as he smiled at me and I slowly pushed myself up off him and on to the side of the bed where I started to get dressed again.   
‘’Adam’’ Turning to look at him as I finished pulling my jeans up and done them up.   
‘’Yeah baby’’  
‘’you really want me and Hamish to live with you?’’ Tommy asked, the shy look back on his face again as I smiled and knelt on the bed to look at him before my hand found his and squeezed softly.   
‘’Of course I do Tommy, you and Hamish mean the world to me and what I said about missing you when you aren’t here was true, the moment I let you both go home I just want to run out and stop you from driving away again, I just want to lock you both up in a room and never let you go’’ I smiled to him as he slowly smiled and nodded.

.o0o.

‘’Hold on Hamish, I have to unlock the door before you can go in’’ I laughed out as I waited for Adam to close the van door, his hands passing me the keys which I juggled in to my hand more as I adjusted the box which was in my hands.  
‘’You sure you can handle those?’’ Adam asked as I chuckled softly.   
‘’You sure you can handle us?’’ I asked back with a grin as he grinned and leaned over, lips pressing a kiss to mine,   
‘’Im pretty sure baby, now go open the house up so our monster can explore and pick his room.’’ He told me before I rolled my eyes,  
‘’Oh man, you don’t know what you have gotten yourself in to’’ I laughed as I started to walk up the garden path and towards the front door where Hamish was jumping about, a large smile on his face as he turned to look at me.  
‘’Hurry up daddy, I want to find my room’’ He grinned as I shuffled the box on to the porch and turned back to him.   
‘’Alright squirt, but remember if we say no, it means no okay’’ I told him as he smiled and me and nodded.   
‘’I remember daddy’’ He told me as I pushed the keys in and unlocked the door before pushing it open, watching as Hamish squeezed in through the small gap as I started to open it, I shook my head with laughter as I stepped inside and opened the door right back and turned back out again to find Adam walking up with another box, smiling at him I waited for him to place it down before kissing his cheek.   
‘’Is the little monster inside?’’ He asked ad I laughed before nodding,   
‘’was in before I even opened the door fully’’ I told him as he laughed and wrapped his arms around my waist. ‘’as much as I love being in your arms, we should probably start getting everything inside and out the van’’ I told Adam as he grinned and nodded.   
‘’I guess you are right’’ Adam said softly before pressing a kiss to my cheek, ‘’you go get some more boxes and I will go check on where our boy has gotten himself too’’ Adam said as there was a few bangs before it faded again.   
‘’Sounds like he’s gone upstairs’’ I laughed before I worked my way out of his hold, heading back to the van, I pulled the door open again before pushing my sleeves up as I glanced over the boxes trying to decide which ones would be the easiest to take in.

Getting a few boxes on to the side walk, I climbed up in to the van and looked in a few different ones until I found the kitchen stuff and closed the box up again and started to work my way out the van.  
‘’Hi, you must be the new neighbor’s’ Jumping slightly as I heard a voice, I stepped out the van and looked up to see another guy stood there with a smile, hands pushed in to his pockets.   
‘’Uhh yeah’’ I chuckled as I put the box down on top of another and wiped my hands down on the front of my jeans before holding a hand out to him, ‘’Im Tommy’’   
‘’Nice to meet you Tommy, im Chris I live a few doors down’’ He told me as he shook my hand, smiling at him, I looked up as the door opened and Hamish came running out with a large smile, ‘’little brother?’’ Chris asked and I shook my head slightly,   
‘’Daddy…daddy…daddy, I found my room its amazing it’s bigger than the one at Grandma’s house’’ Hamish giggled out as he ran down and stopped by us, his smiling fading as he looked at Chris. ‘’Who are you?’’ He asked and I sighed slightly,  
‘’Hamish be nice’’ I warned him as he looked up at me,   
‘’Sorry daddy’’ He said quietly before he turned back again, ‘’Im Hamish’’ He grinned out before holding his little hand out to Chris who laughed softly and took his hand softly,  
‘’Well its nice to meet you Hamish, im Chris’’ He said before Hamish nodded and quickly ran back up to the house again, leaving us both laughing, ‘’Cute kid’’ Chris said and I nodded.  
‘’Yeah, he gets that a lot’’ I laughed as I pulled the next box closer to the door again.   
‘’Do you want a hand with the boxers?’’ Chris asked and I looked at him with a smile,   
‘’that would be great thank you so much’’ I laughed as I picked a box up.   
‘’Don’t sweat it Tommy’’ Chris told me and I laughed softly again before heading up to the house again as Hamish ran out.   
‘’Careful kiddo’’ I told him as he beamed up at me,   
‘’Where is teddy? I want to show him our new room’’ He grinned and I nodded towards the van.   
‘’In the front, but be careful buddy’’ I told him as he nodded and ran off again, heading inside the house; I felt my breath catching slightly in my throat as I glanced around. ‘’wow…’’ I breathed out slightly before I heard Chris laugh behind me and I jumped slightly forgetting him that he was there.   
‘’Your acting like you’ve never stepped foot in here before’’ He chuckled and I nodded,  
‘’I haven’t, I wasn’t the one who brought the place’’ I told him as I looked around the large open hallway and noticed the kitchen off to the right and walked through to place the box down on the island counter.  
‘’Well you’re pretty lucky, a lot of people was interested in this place as its like smack bang in the middle of everything’’ Chris told me as I nodded and wondered over to the large glass doors and stared out of them, my eyes widening slightly as I took in the large backyard and the pool which sat near the patio, swallowing slightly I turned back again and smiled at Chris.

Getting a few more boxers inside the house and in the hallway neatly, I headed back in to the kitchen with Chris again before I started to unpack a few of the kitchen boxers until I found the coffee and kettle and started to make some drinks.  
‘’Tommy’’ Hearing Adam’s voice, I turned slightly and walked towards the large doorway and leaned out slightly,  
‘’In the kitchen’’ I called back as I headed back over again and poured the water in the three cups as Hamish’s footsteps echoed  through the house again.  
‘’Tommy, do you know what box we packed…’’ Adam’s voice trailed off as I looked up at him to see him look across at Chris,  
‘’Adam this is Chris, he lives a few doors down’’ I said as I picked his cup up and walked over to him and handed it over with a smile before I  turned back again.  
‘’Nice to meet you’’ Adam said as he walked over with a smile.   
‘’And you too’’ Chris smiled before he held his hand out and they shook.   
‘’What were you looking for?’’ I asked as I sat at one of the bar stools and sipped at the drink I had made.   
‘’Oh yeah, Uhh the dvd’s I was going to take them up to the bedroom for you to sort out later unless you wanted them down here somewhere’’ Adam said and I nodded slightly,   
‘’Down here sounds good’’ I told him as he nodded softly, ‘’by the way it would’ve been nice to have some details about what the place looked like’’ I told Adam with a raised eyebrow as he chuckled softly and nodded just as a large crash sounded from upstairs and we all turned to look at it.  
‘’Sorry baby, I will remember next time’’ He winked before leaning over and kissed my cheek,  
‘’Make sure you do, im going to go check on the monster’’ I laughed, ‘’excuse me’’ I quickly said before jogging up the stairs and looked around, peering through different rooms until I found Hamish in a pile of dvd cases and books. Watching as he stumbled through the mess, hands pushing things out the way before he picked some of the films up and tripped a little as he walked through everything and over to a small shelve  I chuckled softly which made him jump and turn.  
‘’Daddy you made me jump’’ He whined and I grinned slightly as I walked in and sat down on the floor next to the pile of books and DVDs,   
‘’Sorry baby, but what are you doing?’’ I asked him as he grinned and held his films out to me.   
‘’Putting my DVD’s away daddy’’ He told me before I nodded and looked around the room which he had picked out; it was a lot bigger than our room back at Ma’s.   
‘’So how come you picked this room?’’ I asked as he came walking back over and picked some more films up,   
‘’because yours and papa’s room is in the big bedroom down the other end and this is bigger than the other bedroom’’ He grinned and I chuckled softly before I stood and kissed the top of his head.   
‘’alright, im going back downstairs just yell if you need anything baby’’ I told him before I headed back downstairs and in to the kitchen to see Adam stood leaning against the counter alone.

‘’Chris said he had to get going but he will come over in a day or two to see how we’ve settled in’’ Adam told me and I nodded softly before walking over and in to his open arms.   
‘’I love this place already’’ I whispered before I leaned up and pressed my lips against his softly. ‘’thank you’’  
‘’Baby you don’t have to thank me, I said I wanted the best and the best is what my family is going to get’’ He told me and I bit my lower lip softly as I stared at him.   
‘’I love you’’ I whispered before he leaned down and pressed his lips against mine a little more and softly pushed back until I found  myself being pressed against the other counter as his hand curled around the back of my neck.  
‘’Oh god, pack it in already guys’’ Pulling away, I looked over at the doorway and rolled my eyes,   
‘’Oh give over Lisa, your just jealous of your baby brother does everything before you’’ I laughed before I stuck my tongue out at her.   
‘’Eric, be warned this is my brother I was telling you about, normally he isn’t being pinned against the kitchen counter with his boyfriends tongue shoved down his throat’’ Lisa said as she rolled her eyes and turned to the guy stood next to her.  
‘’Hey that isn’t true’’ I yelped out as Adam laughed and moved behind me, his arms wrapping around my waist.   
‘’Kinder is baby’’ He whispered before kissing my cheek and pulling away as I mocked glared at him.   
‘’You’re meant to be on my side’’ I groaned out at him before I turned and pouted towards Lisa, ‘’your mean big sister’’ I told her before I walked over and leaned down to kiss her stomach, ‘’don’t worry baby Josephine, your uncle Tommy will teach you the right ways of life, your mommy doesn’t know what she’s talking about’’ I told her stomach before I stood up again and stuck my tongue out at her and headed back over to Adam and wiggled under his arm again.   
‘’I swear he’s crazy, I blame mom for dropping him as a baby’’ Lisa mutter.   
‘’Hey…Ma never dropped me as a kid’’ I told her as she laughed and wrapped her arm around Eric.   
‘’That’s true, it was me who pushed you off the chair’’ She laughed and I rolled my eyes.   
‘’It’s nice to meet you Eric by the way, but im so sorry for you dating my sister’’ I told him as he chuckled softly and moved his arm over her shoulders.   
‘’Im not sure about that, she’s quite the catch’’ He said and I rolled my eyes,   
‘’Please, she’s a pain in the ass’’ I laughed.   
‘’Maybe sometimes but she’s my pain in the ass and I love her’’ Eric said and I shook my head slightly and curled back in to Adam again as he laughed and hugged me tightly.

 

 

‘’Baby come back to bed’’ I whined to him through a yawn as I leant against the doorframe of the lounge,   
‘’Mhmm, in a bit’’ Tommy told me without turning around and I sighed softly before running my fingers through my hair again as I walked in and over to where he was knelt on the floor, the dvd’s thrown about in front of him as I sat down just behind him and moved my hand up to the back of his neck and softly rubbed my fingers over the skin.  
‘’Tommy it’s just gone 5am’’ I told him softly before I yawned again and he sighed and leaned back slightly in to me.   
‘’I know, just can’t sleep’’ He told me, nodding I leaned down slightly and kissed his shoulder lightly before resting my cheek against his warm skin, staring at him slightly I let my eyes take in the tired look on his face, the way his brown eyes looked a little dull and his messy hair from where he had tried to sleep.   
‘’Have you tried taking anything?’’ I asked and he shook his head softly before turning to glance at me and then back again.   
‘’I don’t like to be in a drugged reduced sleep when Hamish is around, don’t wanna think of anything bad happening to him and I can’t wake up to help’’ He told me and I nodded softly before running my fingers up to the back of his neck again.  
‘’But im here now too Tommy, nothing is going to happen to Hamish while you sleep’’ I whispered as he sighed deeply and let himself lean back fully against me as I wrapped my arm around his chest. ‘’come back to bed baby’’ I whispered to him as he nodded slowly before turning to look at me.   
‘’Sorry’’ He whispered back before leaning forward, meeting him halfway in a slow kiss, I cupped the back of his neck lightly, my thumb softly stroking over the bit of skin behind his ear before I pulled away slowly and smiled at him.  
‘’Come on you, let’s get you back to bed’’ I said softly before helping him to stand and stood myself.

Walking back to our bedroom hand in hand, I couldn’t help but smile to myself over how far we had come together, I still couldn’t believe that we were finally in our own place together, just the three of us.  
Walking back in to the bedroom, I let Tommy’s hand go before I pulled the bed covers back again and slipped across the bed and under before I felt the bed move as Tommy climbed back in again.  
‘’Hamish is going to be awake in a few hours’’ Tommy mumbled out before I pulled him closer and wrapped my arm around his waist as he curled in to my chest.  
‘’And we will deal with him then, but for now just try and get some sleep baby’’ I told him softly as I kissed the top of his head again as he nodded and moved his arms around me.   
‘’I’ll try but I can’t promise you anything’’ He told me and I chuckled softly.   
‘’Trying is better than sitting downstairs sorting out DVD’s which can wait baby’’ I told him, feeling his small smile against my skin, I pulled him closer to me again as we both settled back down in silence.

Hearing laughter, I stirred slightly before rolling over in bed to glance towards the clock we had managed to find and unpack, the lights flashing 7:30am before I fell back with a sigh, turning my head slightly I looked at Tommy’s side of the bed to see it empty. Shaking my head slightly, I pushed myself up and out of bed and found some clean jeans which I put over my shoulder as I found a top and headed in to the bathroom.  
Showered and dressed again, I ran my hand through my hair with products, styling it slightly before I padded barefooted downstairs and in to the kitchen with a yawn.   
‘’Papa! Daddy made us pancakes for breakfast’’ Jumping slightly, I looked up to see Hamish sat at the breakfast bar, Chris sat across and Tommy stood near the open fridge.   
‘’That’s cool squirt, hope you didn’t eat them all’’ I told him as I walked over and kissed the top of his head, ‘’morning’’ I said towards Chris as he gave a slight nod and smile, turning I looked towards Tommy with a small sigh before I walked over and wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed the side of his neck softly.   
‘’Morning’’ He smiled softly at me and I stared at him.   
‘’You didn’t sleep at all did you?’’ I asked and he blushed slightly before shaking his head.   
‘’Just couldn’t and I didn’t want to wake you again so I came back down here and started making breakfast, Hamish woke up at 6 so it was all okay’’ Tommy told me and I shook my head slightly before pressing a kiss to his cheek again,   
‘’Should’ve woke me up Tommy’’ I told him as I reached around him and took the juice out. Laughing slightly as he ducked under my arm and walked back to Hamish, I walked over to the cooker and grabbed one of the plates stacked beside it in the boxes still and pulled one out along with a glass and placed a few pancakes on and filled the glass with juice before I returned the carton back to the fridge.

‘’Don’t forget we have class today’’ Tommy told me as I walked over and nodded.   
‘’I won’t, I think they will be surprised to actually see the two of us in college’’ I told him as he grinned.   
‘’Does that mean I have to go to school daddy?’’ Hamish asked as Tommy nodded.   
‘’It sure does baby, you have had too much time of lately’’ He told Hamish who grinned.   
‘’Im going to get dressed then’’ Hamish grinned before jumping down from the seat and ran back towards the doorway before pausing and turned, ‘’daddy what are you wearing today?’’ HE asked and Tommy chuckled softly.   
‘’What are we talking?’’ Tommy asked as he looked towards him.   
‘’Shoes’’  
‘’Then im wearing my boots’’ He told Hamish who grinned and ran out, laughing as Tommy reached over to one of the boxes and pulled out a pair of small boots out, he held them  out as Hamish came running back in again.  
‘’Thanks daddy’’ He beamed before running off again.   
‘’That’s just adorable’’ Chris said and I glanced over with a grin, ‘’so did you guys adopt or something?’’ He asked and Tommy coughed slightly.   
‘’Umm no, Hamish is actually Tommy’s son’’ I told him as he nodded with a smile.   
‘’So mom not in the picture then’’ Chris asked and I glanced over at Tommy to see him staring down at his plate slightly pale,   
‘’No, she left him on my doorstep when he was 18 months old and never bothered to get in contact until recently, she wants back in Hamish’s life and mine’’ Tommy said softly as he looked up at Chris,   
‘’Are you going to let her?’’ He asked and I watched as Tommy shook his head.   
‘’I know it sounds mean but as Hamish has grown up, he hasn’t asked about his mom so if she came back in it would just confuse him and he’s happy as he is at the moment with us.’’ Tommy said as he glanced at me with a smile which I returned before taking his hand in mine as I picked my juice up and took a sip from it. ‘’I mean if he gets to a certain age and asks about his mom, im not going to be a dick and not tell him because I will sit down and explain what happened between me and his mom and if he wants to get in contact with her when he’s 18 im not going to stop him but until then I don’t want her anywhere near our son’’ Tommy said and I squeezed his hand softly before letting go again and started to eat.   
‘’That sounds fair enough to me, she doesn’t seem to be the type of girl I would want around my kid if I had one’’ He said and Tommy nodded.   
‘’Im going to go check on Hamish excuse me’’ Tommy said as he brushed his hands off on a napkin before getting up and left the room quickly.

‘’So Adam how did you and Tommy meet?’’ Chris asked me and I smiled softly,   
‘’It was in college actually, and funny enough it was my first day starting because me and my family moved to town a while back now, he was being shoved around slightly by all the popular kids who had decided to grab me and make me their new pet when I just wanted to run after Tommy and wrap him up in my arms.’’ I chuckled as he nodded with a smile, ‘’well to be honest, getting to where we are now wasn’t easy, Tommy put up a good chase and it just made me want him even more when I found out about Hamish, I just knew I wanted him even more in my life, I would give an arm and a leg for those boys and now I got them im still going to do everything in my power to protect them and keep them happy’’ I told Chris as he chuckled softly.  
‘’Sounds like Tommy found a good guy in you’’ Nodding to him, I grinned slightly.   
‘’Not to be rude or anything but why are you here so early?’’ I asked as he laughed and shook his head.   
‘’It’s fine, I was out for my normal walk which I do if I can’t sleep there’s this little hiking trail up near the woods which is beautiful and I was on the way home again when I noticed Tommy out on the front porch messing with the light because it wouldn’t work so I said hi and helped him out with it and he offered me in and a coffee’’ nodding I grinned slightly before sighing, ‘’you seem troubled’’ looking at Chris nodded slightly.   
‘’I woke up around 5am and found the bed empty and Tommy down here sorting the DVDs out, we had finally gotten to bed about 12 after unpacking as much as we could after his sister and her boyfriend left, but he hasn’t slept at all’’ I told him as he nodded.  
‘’Could just be the whole moving thing, it can put stress on you without you knowing and with a little one too your mind runs a million miles a second’’ Chris said and I laughed softly with a nod.   
‘’That’s true, I guess im just used to moving a lot that I’ve forgotten what its like’’ I laughed as footsteps echoed down the stairs.

 

‘’Adam’’ Turning, I looked towards where he was cleaning the breakfast dishes, his own head turned slightly with a smile,   
‘’Yeah baby?’’ He asked as I walked over and pecked his lips softly.   
‘’Im going to take Hamish to school and then get to college but I promised him that I would take him to the mall for ice cream afterwards because I mentioned how we needed to go shopping for food’’ I told him as he nodded.  
‘’Alright, go careful okay, pull over the moment you feel tired Tommy’’ Adam told me and I rolled my eyes slightly, ‘’I mean it Tommy, I don’t want anything to happen to both of you’’ Adam said as he dried his hands off and turned to face me fully, his eyes full of worry as I sighed and nodded.  
‘’I promise’’ I told him as he smiled and leaned down, his lips pressing against mine until I pulled away.   
‘’I love you baby’’ He whispered to me,   
‘’Love you too…see you around college later?’’ I asked as he nodded with a smile.   
‘’Of course’’ Grinning as he pecked my nose again, I turned and headed out in to the hallway. ‘’Hamish, come on lets go buddy’’ I called out before his footsteps came running down the stairs.

‘’Daddy are we still going for ice cream before shopping?’’ Hamish asked once we were both in the car and half way to school,  
‘’Of course baby, I told you I would take you and im sure Adam will with me when I come to pick you up at the end of the day’’ I told him as I glanced up in the review mirror at him as he smiled.  
‘’Yay, I can’t wait’’ Grinning to myself as I turned back around again, I carried on driving until I pulled up outside the school, turning the engine off, I climbed out quickly before getting Hamish out the back and the car locked up again before he grabbed my hand and I started to walk him in before he giggled and I looked down at him,   
‘’What are you laughing about?’’ I asked as he smiled up at me,   
‘’Thinking about what ice cream I want’’ He told me and I shook my head slightly before walking in to the playground.   
‘’Alright you strange little boy’’ I grinned before I picked him up and he wrapped his arms around my neck.   
‘’Tommy…Hamish, its nice to see you both’’ turning to see Hamish’s teacher , I grinned slightly,  
‘’Sorry, we’ve had a lot on at the moment, just moved houses’’ I told her as she smiled sweetly and nodded as I put him down again and he ran over to her with a smile.  
‘’That’s fine’’ She told me.   
Waiting for them to all go in, I checked the time and cursed slightly to see that I was running late for college, leaving the school grounds, I got back in to the car again and started it up again.

‘’Darling, you’re here’’ Turning as I locked the car door again, I smiled towards Sutan and laughed before hitching my bag up over my shoulder more as I walked over and returned his hug before he let go and we both started to walk in to the college building and headed towards the stage where our first lesson was.  
‘’Of course, I don’t think Adam is happy with me’’ I sighed slightly as I rubbed the back of my neck and he looked at me.   
‘’Why what have you done this time Thomas?’’ Sutan asked and I winched slightly at the name.   
‘’I didn’t sleep last night, even after we went back to bed, I was just laid there awake and watched Adam sleep before I got up again’’ I told him as I pulled the door open and waited for Sutan to walk through before I stepped through after him.  
‘’Insomnia’’ He asked and I nodded to him, ‘’does Adam know about it’’ He asked and I shook my head slightly,   
‘’Didn’t think he needed to know because it has affected me in such a long time since I’ve been with Adam’’ I told Sutan as he nodded and wrapped his arm back around me again and I leaned in to his side.   
‘’well inform him honey, then that way he won’t be worried about you’’ He said with a pointed look and I sighed softly before we headed in to the theater.

‘’Give me that last line again honey’’ Sutan called out and I glanced up from where I was sat in the chairs before I nodded and looked back down again, my eyes going back to my fingers on the strings and started to play the same cords before I looked up at Sutan as he danced to the music and I grinned softly.   
‘’So when are you coming over to see the new place?’’ I asked him and he spun around one last time with a smile as he dropped down to sit,   
‘’Well im busy for a few days so maybe the weekend’’ He told me as I nodded.   
‘’Sounds good, I still need to make a list for shopping later’’ I said both to him and myself.   
‘’Aww honey’’ Sutan squealed and I looked up at him taken back slightly as he clapped his hands together, ‘’I love seeing you so domestic with Adam and Hamish, it’s so cute’’ Chuckling softly to myself I shook my head and placed the guitar down on the seats beside me before I found some spare paper in my bag and grabbed a pen.   
‘’I have no idea what to get’’ I laughed out as I looked back up at Sutan as he laughed and climbed down and sat down next to me.  
‘’Well what does Hamish like the most?’’ Sutan asked and I frowned slightly,   
‘’I guess we do need to get some more lucky charms and milk…also I think Adam is nearly out of juice’’ I muttered as Sutan chuckled softly and nodded.   
‘’And what about yourself, okay for coffee…sugar?’’ He asked and I nodded slightly,   
‘’could probably do with getting some more coffee actually and tea bags, nearly out of them and I know Ma is due to come over in the next few days’’ I told him and started to add more to the list which started to slowly grow.

 

‘’Hey Sutan, have you seen Tommy?’’ I called out as I stepped in to the theater and was quickly greeted with Sutan turning and pressing his finger to his lips and nodded towards the front row of the seats as I walked down, stepping around, I couldn’t help but smile to myself as I noticed Tommy curled up in one of the seats, his legs thrown over the side and resting in the chair next to his as his jacket draped over his shoulders.   
‘’He finally took a break and fell asleep’’ Sutan told me softly as I let my bag drop down and I pressed a light kiss to the top of his head and sat down beside him.  
‘’How long has he been sleeping?’’ I asked as Sutan cleared up on stage,   
‘’About an hour now I think, we finished up with lessons and came back in here so we could waste some time until he had to leave to meet you but he fell asleep the poor sod’’ He chuckled as I smiled and looked back over Tommy again with a soft smile, reaching over, I pulled his jacket up over him a little more again before sitting back.   
‘’I don’t blame him, he never slept at all last night’’ I said and Sutan nodded,  
‘’Yeah, he said this morning, his insomnia play’s him up sometimes but last night was the first in a long time, he didn’t think he needed o tell you because it has been acting up lately.’’ Sutan told me and I frowned slightly before looking over at my boyfriend again,  
‘’He really needs to learn that I not going to be annoyed because of things he does’’ I sighed,  
‘’Honey, he’s still getting used to having someone look after him like you do, as much as that boy loves you, its still all new’’ Sutan told me as he came over to the edge of the stage, nodding slightly I stood up and climbed on to the stage with him and smiled.  
‘’How about we get a few songs in, I have another gig soon with Isaac at your club’’ I winked at him as he laughed and nodded. 

Laughing as we sat in the middle of the stage, I shook my head and moved to lay out on my back and stared up at the ceiling way above us.  
‘’I dreamt of making it big on Broadway one day you know’’ I told Sutan with a goofy grin as I turned slightly to look at him,   
‘’you don’t anymore?’’ He asked and I shook my head,   
‘’No, I still love acting but I think I want to move through the music business more you know, focus on the singing and everything, it would pay a lot better too’’ I told him, ‘’I would be able to support Tommy and Hamish a lot more in life.’’   
‘’Honey, you aren’t just giving up on your dreams just because of the boys are you?’’ Sutan asked and I shook my head,  
‘’Of course not, I decided to give up on my dreams when I got attacked’’ I told him as he smiled at me sadly.  
‘’Adam…’’Hearing a sleepy voice, I sat up slightly and looked towards the seats to see Tommy rubbing his eyes and I smiled softly.   
‘’Yeah baby’’ I spoke out as I sat up fully and smiled as Tommy moved and sat up again, a yawn escaping his lips as he ran his hands through his hair.  
‘’Thought I heard your voice’’ He yawned before moving his jacket away and then stood slowly, his arms stretching up above his head, his shirt raising up slightly to show his stomach and I smiled softly before he dropped his arms down again and slowly climbed up on the stage and walked towards us.  
‘’How you feeling’’ I asked as he dropped down on to my lap and I wrapped my arms around his waist tightly.   
‘’Like death warmed up, could sleep for longer but we need to go get Hamish’’ He yawned and I nodded softly,  
‘’I’ll drive, not going to let you drive when you are feeling like this’’ I told him as he nodded and slowly stood up again, standing myself, I smiled at Sutan, ‘’we will see you soon’’ I told him as he nodded,  
‘’Of course darling’s, have fun shopping’’ Sutan said back as I nodded and took Tommy’s hand in mine before getting down from the stage, finding out things again, we headed out the college building and started to walk towards where he parked the car.

.o0o.

‘’Daddy’’ Hamish giggled and I turned to look at him and smiled softly,  
‘’Sorry baby, daddy’s tired today’’ I told him as I picked him up, his arms wrapping around my neck as I caught up with Adam again in the store, the cart slowly filling up with everything which was on the list I had made.   
‘’You can always go wait in the car if you like baby’’ Adam told me, shaking my head I smiled softly,   
‘’No it’s okay, this is our first shopping trip as a family for the new house and I want to do it right’’ I told him with a smile which was mirrored on his face before he leaned over and pecked my lips quickly.   
‘’Love you baby’’ He told me as Hamish giggled again and we both turned to look at him,   
‘’Now what is up?’’ I asked him as he shook his head.   
‘’Nothing, im just happy’’ He told us both and I glanced at Adam before back gain.   
‘’What for’’ I asked as he reached out for Adam and I let him take him from my arms,   
‘’because we have a whole family now and my two daddies are the best’’ Hamish told us as I took the cart from Adam and nodded softly.   
‘’He’s right’’ I told Adam as he chuckled and nodded, ‘’we really are a family aren’t we’’ I grinned as Adam started walking again.   
‘’Now the first thing we need to do as a family is choose the biggest and most chocolaty cake and lots of sweets and soda’s so we can have a mini party back home?’’ Adam asked Hamish as he grinned widely and nodded.  
Walking after them, I kept smiling as they laughed together and pointed at different things and then picked them up and put them in to the cart, following them around, I added a few things myself before we headed towards the check outs.  
‘’Sure we got everything?’’ I asked as Adam looked over and nodded,   
‘’I think so, what do you think squirt?’’ Adam asked Hamish before he pouted and nodded.   
‘’We are ready to party papa’’ He grinned and I laughed softly before starting to put everything on to the belt.

Everything paid for and back at home, I helped to unpack the car and handed Hamish a bag with a few things in and grinned as he ran off up to the hose to wait for me and Adam.  
‘’I love you too by the way, I never said it back at the store’’ I told Adam as he walked around and nodded.   
‘’I know you do baby’’ He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his lips against my neck, biting my lip slightly as he lightly worked a piece of my skin between his teeth I wrapped my arms over his before I grinned,   
‘’Adam stop’’ I laughed, ‘’we are in public, save it for the bedroom’’ I grinned before pulling away as he chuckled behind me.   
‘’Fine, let’s get the shopping in and put away’’ He chuckled before getting a couple of bags out the trunk and headed up towards the house and Hamish, shaking my head to myself, I picked the remaining bags out of the trunk and closed it again before and locked the car up and headed up to the house again and inside where I found Hamish and dam already in the kitchen unpacking everything.  
’’Hamish, why don’t you go look for a blanket and set up in the basement’’ I told him as he turned and grinned before nodding and ran out the kitchen.   
‘’What are you planning?’’ Adam asked and I laughed slightly and shook my head.   
‘’Nothing, you’re the one who said about having a little party’’ I winked at him as he nodded  
‘’and the basement?’’ He asked and I shrugged slightly,   
‘’That’s the one room which we have really sorted everything out, we can put the TV on and everything and watch a few movies or listen to music’’ I said as he smiled,   
‘’You think good baby’’ Laughing I picked a grape of the stem and chucked it at Adam before I put the rest away with the other fruit in the fridge.   
‘’Hey save that for later buster’’ Adam laughed and I rolled my eyes slightly and went back to packing everything away which we weren’t going to have.

‘’Daddy can I have another slice of cake?’’ Hamish asked as I grinned and looked up from where I had my head resting on Adam’s thigh as I nodded.   
‘’Sure baby but then that’s enough for you’’ I told him as he smiled and nodded. Yawning slightly I turned back to look up at Adam as his hand moved up on to my chest before sliding down to my stomach.   
‘’You can go to sleep if you wanted to Tommy’’ He told me and I chuckled softly before I reached up and tangled my fingers through his.   
‘’Im okay for now’’ I told him as he nodded slightly.  
Turning back to watch Hamish, I smiled softly to myself as I thought back over the past few years and how everything had changed, seeing him grow up was amazing but I still felt the emptiness inside from not seeing him take his first steps or say his first words but I was just glad to have him as he was, waking up to see his bright smile every morning gave me hope for the future and I knew he was going to be a good kid.  
Jumping slightly as I felt fingers slide through my hair, I turned back to look up at Adam to find him staring down at me with a large smile.   
‘’You know when you blank out and watch Hamish, you have this adorable caring look on your face’’ He whispered and I felt my cheeks warm up slightly as I blushed and nodded.   
‘’Do you every think about what he asked back at the zoo?’’ I asked him as he frowned before it softened and he nodded,   
‘’Sometimes, why?’’ HE asked and I shrugged slightly,  
‘’I don’t know really, I guess missing out on a lot of his firsts has put this sort of emptiness inside’’ I told him as he nodded and ran his free hand through my hair again,  
‘’Maybe we can see about adopting or something when Hamish is a little older?’’ Adam said quietly and I glanced over to where Hamish was laid out on his stomach eating cake and I smiled softly as I looked back up at him.   
‘’You would really want to go through all this again?’’ I asked as he chuckled softly before nodding.   
‘’I would go through anything twice if it meant me being with you’’ Adam told me and I smiled up at him.   
‘’I love you’’  
‘’I love you too baby’’ Adam whispered back with a smile.

‘’Tommy’’ Hearing a whisper, I groaned slightly and swatted at my ear as a chuckle ran out, ‘’come on baby’’ The voice whispered again before I felt arms move under my knees and around my back slightly, curling in to their chest more, I let a deep sigh out before I curled my arm around their neck tighter.  
‘’Mhmm comfy’’ I mumbled out as they laughed again.   
‘’Tommy wake up for a bit baby, need to get you undressed’’ Groaning slightly as I felt my legs get put down gently, I slowly forced my eyes open as I yawned again.   
‘’Where’s Hamish?’’ I asked as I lifted my arms up as Adam pulled my hoody up and over my head before repeating it with my top,   
‘’Tucked up in bed and fast asleep, has been for the past three hours like you have been on the couch in the lounge where you made it after putting him to bed’’ Adam told me and I frowned slightly and wrapped my arms around Adam’s neck as I felt his hands on my pants.   
‘’I can’t remember doing that’’ I admitted as his body went down slightly before raised again,  
‘’Step back, and you did’’ He told me as I stepped back out of my pants before stepping forward again in to my sleep pants as he held them out to me.  
‘’Oh’’ I mumbled as he laughed softly and pressed a soft kiss to my cheek. Climbing in to bed, I sighed softly at the softness of the sheets before I felt the bed dip and then Adam’s warm body against mine as his arm came around my waist.  
‘’Night baby’’ Adam whispered in to my ear before I turned over to face him in the dark.   
‘’Night’’ I yawned out as I hooked a knee between his thighs and wrapped my arm under his and around his back, fingertips lightly touching against one of his scars as I buried my face in to his neck and softly kissed it.

.o0o.

‘’Tommy, baby where are you?’’ Hearing Adam’s voice, I smiled slightly and bit my lip softly.   
‘’Bathroom’’ I called back as I lowered slightly more in to the hot water, the bubbles tickling my skin as it moved up to just under my chin and my hair stuck to the side of my face from where it got wet.  
‘’Hamish got to school just fine and I got our timetables for when we go back to college in the new term, our lessons are pretty similar so we don’t have to worry…about…picking’’ Looking up as Adam trailed off slightly, I grinned softly.  
‘’About what’’ I asked as I brought a hand up from the water and sat up a little to grab the glass of water which I had on the side of the bath,   
‘’Oh…umm about picking Hamish up, we have enough time between the end of our lessons and the end of his day’’ Adam told me as he put the paper down on the counter across the bathroom.   
‘’That’s good then’’ I smiled as I put my drink down and sunk back down in the water again.   
‘’How long have you been in the bath for?’’ Adam asked as he walked over and sat down beside it, his arms resting on the side and chin resting on top of them, bringing my hands up again, I turned them and looked at my fingertips before back to him with a grin.  
‘’Not long, my fingers aren’t winkled yet’’ I laughed softly as he shook his head.   
‘’You are adorable Mr. Tommy-Joe’’ He told me and I laughed before gathering some bubbles and rubbed them on to his cheek and nose lightly as he laughed.  
‘’So…are you going to sit there all day, or are you going to get undressed and join me’’ I asked him as he smiled and moved slightly so his fingertips wadded through the water slightly before trailing up my arm until he moved them under my chin and turned my head slightly, kissing him back I pulled away softly and smiled at him.   
‘’As much as I would love to baby, im going to make us some lunch’’ Adam told me before I pouted slightly, ‘’don’t even think about using those puppy eyes on me’’ He warned,  
‘’Please Adam, pretty, pretty please join me’’ I asked in a soft voice as I sat up slightly more again and caught his fingers in mine and lightly ran them down my chest and in to the water, ‘’see its nice and hot’’ I grinned at him as he swallowed slightly and shook his head with a grin.  
‘’Fine but only for a little while okay, then I need to make a start on lunch before we have to go pick our son up’’ Adam said, his smile large as I smiled back at him, hearing him calling Hamish our son warmed me with such a good feeling as I nodded.  
‘’I know, we promised to take him to the park’’ I smiled as Adam stood with a nod and started to get undressed, watching him, I bit my lip slightly before I sat up fully and moved down in the large bath as Adam climbed in behind me, sliding back again, I r4ested my back against his stomach as I leaned my head back against his chest, our fingers tangling together on my stomach as his thighs hugged my hips tightly.

‘’What made you take a bath?’’ Adam asked softly after a while and I shrugged slightly as I turned my head slightly against his chest to look up at him.   
‘’Just fancied it to be honest, I was here alone and wanted to try the bath out and I found some of Hamish’s bubble stuff and thought fuck it’’ I grinned out as he chuckled softly and pressed a kiss to the top of my head.  
‘’You really are adorable baby’’ He told me as I stuck my tongue out before turning back again, smiling down at our hands, I slipped them up my stomach and on to my chest before I kissed his knuckles lightly.  
‘’What are you creating for lunch?’’ I asked Adam quietly as we laid together in the water,   
‘’I was thinking about making a chicken and mushroom soup, I brought some fresh bread on the way home’’ Adam told me, his lips brushing over my shoulder lightly with each word before his leg moved beside me and I softly let his hand go with one of mine, touching my fingertips to his thigh lightly, I slowly trailed my hand down over his knee before resting my arm against it and sighed softly.   
‘’Sounds nice’’ I mumbled out to him as his free hand came up around my chest more and his lips pressed against the shell of my ear.  
‘’It’s quite nice, mom taught me how to make it when I was still recovering’’ Adam whispered and I turned my head slightly to look at him as he smiled.   
‘’You’re beautiful when your like this’’ He whispered again and I felt my cheeks warm up slightly as he let his hand trail over my chest, leaving a small soapy trail before he cupped his hand in the water and washed it away again.  
‘’You always think im beautiful when im naked Adam’’ I told him with a pointed look before he laughed softly and shook his head.   
‘’Of course you are, but I meant when you are relaxed like this, its like there are no worries or troubles on your shoulders and you just glow with happiness, its beautiful’’ Listening to him, I blushed deeply before I turned back and laughed softly as Adam’s arms wrapped around me tightly, keeping me pressed back against his body before he sat us up in the bath water which was starting to slowly grow cold, feeling his fingers on my chin, I turned with his touch as he looked down at me with a soft smile before he closed the gap between us and pressed his lips against mine softly.

Pulling away slowly, I looked up at him with a smile before I leaned forward again and pressed a soft kiss to his lips again, ‘’Water’s getting kinder cold’’ I mumbled against his lips as he laughed and pulled away again.   
‘’Where’s the towels?’’ He asked and I frowned slightly before looking around the bathroom to see that we didn’t have any in there at the moment,   
‘’Umm, the rests in the box in the bedroom…I think’’ I laughed before I started to climb out the bath.   
‘’Tommy…what…what are you doing?’’ Adam yelped out slightly and I glanced over my shoulder at him with a grin.   
‘’Going to dry off and get dressed before we are late for picking our son up’’ I winked at him as he started to climb out the bath, moving quickly down the hall and in to our room, I peered towards the windows to see the blind still down as I walked towards one of the boxers and started to look through it. Hearing a whistle from the doorway, I rolled my eyes and ran the towel over my chest as I turned to look towards Adam.  ‘’see something you like? I asked as he pursed his lips and nodded slightly,  
‘’I do indeed’’ Adam grinned as he walked over, laughing as I ducked under his arms as he went to wrap them around him I headed over to the drawers where some of our clothes were and pulled out some clean boxers and tugged them on.  
‘’Come on, Hamish remember, we promised him we would take him to the park before we came home for lunch’’ I told him as he grinned and nodded.

.o0o.

‘’Daddy…papa’’ Hearing Hamish I grinned widely as he came running over and pushed his little book bag in to Tommy’s hands and jumped in to my arms, laughing as I picked him up, I stuck my tongue out at Tommy as he laughed and we started to head out the school grounds, a few other parents smiling at us before we got to the car and Tommy unlocked the car for me.   
‘’What did you get up to today then squirt?’’ I asked as I buckled him in to the back seat and Tommy climbed in to the passenger’s seat.   
‘’Oh we done lots of drawing and painting papa’’ He giggled before stopping as I closed his door and quickly jogged around to the driver’s seat and got in again.  
‘’And what else’’ I asked as I glanced back and then to Tommy with a smile as he looked through the letters which Hamish had in his book bag.   
‘’We had snack time, I had an apple and milk and then we went and played outside in the sand box and water box and then we done some more painting’’ Hamish grinned as I pulled away from the school and started to drive.   
‘’What’s this?’’ Tommy asked and I glanced over at him to see him frowning at a piece of paper, ‘’what happened after snack time Hamish?’’ Tommy asked as I pulled up in to another street and he turned to face him.   
‘’I fell over outside daddy and hurt my knee but I didn’t cry, I was a big boy’’ Hamish spoke out and I caught Tommy nodding out the corner of my eye slightly.   
‘’Sure it wasn’t anything else?’’ Tommy asked and I glanced over at him before I reached over and took the paper form his hand and moved it back to the steering wheel again, glancing down at it every so often as I drove.    
‘’Okay I was pushed over’’ Hamish whined out and I sighed softly before putting the paper up on the dashboard. ‘’but he always pushes everyone over daddy, I was just playing with Millie and her dolls’’   
‘’its fine baby, but next time you need to tell the teacher straight away okay’’ I heard Tommy say as I turned on to the road leading to the park and slowly pulled up half way down the road.

‘’Alright, not to far Hamish, make sure you can still see us and we can see you’’ Tommy called after Hamish once we had gotten out the car and closer to the park as he started running ahead, catching Tommy’s hand in mine, I turned to him with a smile before I pulled him closer and wrapped my arms around him as he grinned up at me.   
‘’My perfect little boyfriend’’ I whispered before kissing the tip of his nose as he laughed,  
‘’Im older than you Adam’’ He told me and I rolled my eyes slightly and glanced off towards the direction Hamish ran to see him climbing up on to the climbing frame before I turned back to Tommy again.  
‘’But you are still my perfect boyfriend, my prefect prince’’ I told him as he smiled and pushed me away slightly, laughing as I walked after him and grabbed his hand again, our fingers sliding together as we walked towards the small playground and stood against the fence watching Hamish play for a while, his little legs carrying him from one thing to another before he came running over to us and smiled at us.   
‘’Daddy can you push me on the swings?’’ He asked before Tommy nodded with a smile.   
‘’Of course baby, you go pick one out and I will be right behind you’’ He told him before turning to me, kissing him back softly I squeezed his hand.   
‘’Im going to be sat over on the bench’’ I told him as he nodded and walked off towards the little gate in to the play ground and I headed over to the bench near the path before sitting down, my arm falling over and along the back of it as I looked towards the playground again and grinned as Tommy helped Hamish in to a swing and moved around to the back of him and pulled him back slightly.

Leaning my head back slightly, I let my eyes close as I basked in the sunlight caught between mid morning and the afternoon, the smell of the trees and grass was a comfort as I thought about everything over the past month and bit, everything was turning out perfect and I was thankful for everything. Opening my eyes again, I stared up at the blue sky before I leaned back up again and looked towards the park to see Tommy and Hamish gone, frowning to myself as I looked around slightly, I felt myself relax as I saw them at another part of the playground.  
Sitting back again, I yawned softly before rubbing my hand through the hair on the back of my neck slightly and turned backed to watch the boys softly before Tommy started to head back over with Hamish’s hand in his, their faces locked in laughter as they walked out the park and over to where I was sat.  
‘’Going to go and get some drinks, you coming?’’ Tommy asked and I grinned slightly before I nodded.   
‘’Of course I am’’ I laughed as I stood and took Hamish’s other hand in mine as we started to walk down the path which led towards van which was always sat at the park’s edge.   
‘’Two cola’s and a water please’’ I told the guy who nodded and moved around inside the truck before I pulled my wallet out and some money and handed it over, handing the drinks to the boys, I grabbed my water again and smiled at them both as I turned back with them,  
‘’Thank you papa’’ Hamish smiled out at me as we started to walk back again,   
‘’We are going to sit back on the bench baby okay, ‘’ Tommy told him as Hamish nodded and walked on in front of us slightly and I felt Tommy’s fingers slide through mine, looking at him, I smiled softly.

‘’Thank you’’ Tommy said to me softly as we sat down again and I turned to look at him as I moved my arm around his shoulders,   
‘’What for?’’ I asked as he smiled and curled in to my side softly,  
‘’For everything,  for filling in all the cracks and chips in my second hand heart, for making me believe in love again and helping me learn that not everyone is out to hurt me or hate me in the world, that there are still good people out there despite the walls and cover they use to protect yourself’’ He told me and I smiled at him softly before leaning down and pecked his lips before pulling away again.  
‘’Everything broken can be fixed again, no matter how damaged it is’’ I told him as he nodded. ‘’you know, I wont stop fixing your heart even after its fully healed over and there’s not a single crack or scratch in it because I want to keep going until it busts because of how much love is in it and then I want to fix it all over again’’ I whispered softly as he laughed and blushed, his face moving to bury in to my neck as I wrapped my arms around him tightly and kissed the top of his head.  
Sitting together as we sipped at our drinks, I hummed a soft tune, fingers brushing through Tommy’s hair and over the side of his neck every so often before he moved and then quickly sat up, his hand gripping my thigh slightly from where it had been resting as I frowned.  
‘’Baby what’s wrong?’’ I asked him as I sat up and saw the worried look on his face.   
‘’I can’t see Hamish, I told him to stay in our view’’ Tommy muttered out as he got up,  grabbing his empty soda can and my bottle, I pushed them in to the bin before I walked over to where Tommy was heading towards the fence, his eyes scanning the playground. ‘’Hamish’’ He called out, hands clutching the fence tightly as he leaned over slightly,   
‘’He’s just probably hiding somewhere, you know how he makes friends’’ I said softly before he shook his head and walked a little more.   
‘’He’s not here Adam…I can’t see him anywhere, there’s nowhere to hide’’ Swallowing slightly, I walked over and grabbed his hands, untangling them from the fence and turned him to face me as the panic in his voice grew more frantic.   
‘’Baby, he has to be here okay. Hamish is a good kid and you know he wont run off’’ I told him  
‘’I can’t let him get hurt Adam…I can’t lose him from my life again’’ He cried out, voice a little raised before I pulled him in to my arms and looked around the playground again and swallowed slightly as I realized he was right, there was nowhere for a kid to hide and that Hamish was nowhere to be seen.   
‘’Come he has to be here somewhere’’ I told him reassuringly as I pulled away and grabbed his hand. 

Feeling him shake the hold off I swallowed slightly again as he jogged over to where a few people was sat and said something as I turned and let my eyes scan over the park slightly as they fell over every kid which I could see moving around.  
‘’Hamish’’ I called out before I ran my hand through my hair slightly, ‘’come on kiddo, where are you…Hamish’’ Calling out for him, I kept searching before I headed back closer to the playground and turned back to see Tommy looking around, worry clear on his face as one of the women placed a hand on his arm and said something which he shook his head too.   
Looking around again, I headed back to Tommy, his body turning to look at me, tears clear in his eyes as I shook my head slightly and he took a deep breath as I walked closer and pulled him in to my chest again and kissed the top of his head.  
‘’He’s gone…I’ve lost him, I should’ve been watching him Adam, I should’ve been in there with him, I shouldn’t of left him alone’’ He sobbed in to my chest and I swallowed back a few chokes as I held him tightly.  
‘’It’s not your fault baby, we will find him’’ I told him as he shook his head and pushed me away roughly.   
‘’He’s fucking gone Adam, I should have been watching him, he trusts me to protect him Adam and I wasn’t watching him like I should’ve been doing’’ He cried out to me as I stepped closer and moved my hands up to his face and wiped the tears away.  
‘’Tommy, I promise you, we are going to get through this together, me and you forever remember, we are going to find our son, Hamish is going to be just fine baby I promise you’’ I told him as more tears fell from his eyes.  
‘’And what if he isn’t Adam? What then, I wouldn’t be able to go on living if any harm came to him’’ He whispered as I swallowed the lump in my throat again.   
‘’Don’t think like that Tommy, he will be fine, he’s a smart kid, and he got that from his daddy okay’’ I told him as he wiped at his eyes roughly. 

‘’Honey, your boyfriend is right, your little boy is going to be alright’’ A lady said softly as she walked over again, her own child in her arms which seemed to make Tommy swallow slightly, ‘’im going to call the cops for you because you aren’t in the right mind, what’s the little’s name and age?’’ She asked,   
‘’Hamish…’’ Tommy breathed out slightly, ‘’Hamish Joseph Ratliff, he’s five’’ he whispered as I pulled him back in to my arms again and he wrapped his own around my waist tightly. ‘’Im so scared Adam’’ He whimpered to me as I ran my hand through his hair and kissed his temple softly.   
‘’I know baby, I am too, but he’s okay, its going to be okay’’ I whispered against his skin as I watched the women walk away slightly, her phone against her ear as I looked back down again, ‘’It’s me and you baby, together forever and we will get through this I promise’’ I told him, ‘’I wont let anyone harm him Tommy, I wont let anyone harm my family any more’’ I whispered as I pressed my lips against his temple again, his body slowly shaking with silent sobs.

.o0o.

‘’No, im not going home until I have my son back’’ Tommy’s voice raised up and I looked over to see him with two of the officers and the women who had called them, her hand holding on to his arm as her other wrapped around his shoulders, tears fresh in his eyes again as he leaned forward on his knees, I just wanted to walk back over and pull him back in to my arms and hold him, I just wanted to make his pain go away and to have Hamish back with us.  
‘’What was he wearing?’’ Turning back to the officer who I was talking to I breathed out slightly and closed my eyes as I tried to remember,  
‘’He had dark grey jeans on with black boots…umm’’ Breathing out slightly, I ran my hand through my hair and rubbed the back of my neck again as I breathed out. ‘’I can’t remember if he had a black or a white top on but it had an image of an eagle on the back across the shoulders and a little leather jacket’’ I told him as he nodded.   
‘’Has he ever ran off before?’’ The officer asked and I stared at him,   
‘’Hamish is five years old, shouldn’t you be out there looking for him instead of asking me pointless questions?’’ I asked as I was starting to slowly get frustrated,   
‘’I know you are worried about the boy sir, but any information can help us’’ He said and I shook my head slightly.   
‘’Of course im worried, he’s my partners son and no he hasn’t run of ever, he’s a good kid, smart’’ I told the officer as he nodded.  
‘’How about anyone hanging around lately outside the home? Anyone watching you when you have gone out’’ The officer asked and I shook my head softly,  
‘’No one, we’ve just moved in to a new place, only family and Hamish’s school knows the new address, no one has watched us…not what I can think of anyway’’ I told him as he nodded.  
‘’Thank you for your help, we will get in contact with any details as soon as we can’’ He said before patting my shoulder softly, shaking my head I ran my hand through my hair again before pulling my phone out my pocket with shaking hands.

Dialing the number which was oh so familiar to me, I raised my phone to my ear and squeezed my eyes shut as I felt another set of tears fill them up as the dial tone kept ringing until it was answered by Neil.  
‘’What’s up?’’ He asked cheerily and I breathed out deeply as I rubbed at my eyes.   
‘’Is mom home?’’ I asked before I heard him mumble slightly.   
‘’Yeah she is’’ He told me and I swallowed slightly and rested my elbow on my knee and my forehead in my hand as I closed my eyes tightly,   
‘’Put mom on the phone Neil’’ I whispered out to him as I shivered slightly in the cold wind which had wrapped around the park quickly before it left again, leaving the heat of the sun beating down on my back as if it was trying to mock us.   
‘’Adam…you sound strange are you okay?’’ Neil asked softly, his voice filled with worry,   
‘’Just put mom on the phone Neil for fuck sake’’ I growled out to him before I heard his muffled voice and then movements.   
‘’Honey, what’s wrong?’’  Hearing mom’s voice come through the line, I felt the first few tears fall from my eyes as I broke out in a slight sob.  
‘’It’s…It’s Ha…Hamish mom…he’s missing’’ I whispered out to her brokenly.


	14. 86,400 seconds in a day to turn it all around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it guy's and girl's, the last chapter of the fic...thank you all for sticking around and reading it :) I hope the last chapter dont dissapoint you and its not as long as some of the other chapters, I guess the last chapter was a little longer than planned and didnt leave much for this chapter, but enjoy <3

‘’You can’t tell me to calm down when my fucking son is still missing’’ Tommy’s voice yelled out again and I swallowed slightly as I walked back in to the lounge where he was still pacing, his sister and Eric on the couch, swallowing softly, I walked over to him and gently cupped his face as he turned towards me, brown eyes filled with worry.  
‘’We will find him baby’’ I whispered as he swallowed, letting him go gently, I pulled him in to my arms tightly as I kissed the top of his head.  
‘’Im so fucking scared Adam, I can’t lose him, I can’t lose you’’ He whispered as I rubbed his back in soothing circles before I slipped my hand under his shirt to lay against his lower stomach.  
‘’Not going to lose any of us Tommy, im right here and we will get Hamish back’’ I told him as he pulled away and looked at me before nodding. Pressing my lips to his softly, I rested my forehead against his before he pulled away.   
‘’Im going to go out and look again, I feel useless just stood here doing nothing’’ He whispered as he started to walk around me, sighing, I rubbed the back of my neck and turned as I walked after him.  
‘’Then im coming with you Tommy, I don’t want you to be out there alone’’ I told him as he turned to stare at me, his eyes wide before he smiled weakly.

Taking his hand in mine as we left the house again, I couldn’t help but feel worried about Hamish, he had been gone for a few hours now and we still hadn’t heard anything back from the police officers who was also searching the park and surrounding areas still, I knew that with a child that the chance was small and the sooner it got darker like it was starting to do, the more the chance of finding them alive went down and I knew if anything happened to Hamish, it would destroy us both inside and out.  
‘’Adam…Tommy, I just heard’’ Turning slightly at the same time as Tommy, we both looked towards the street to see Chris hogging towards us, worry on his own face, ‘’is there anything I can do to help?’’ He asked as he got closer and I felt Tommy squeeze my hand slightly which I returned.   
‘’I don’t know…we were just about to go looking again, my sister and her boyfriend is inside’’ Tommy told him as he nodded and glanced towards the house,   
‘’I’ll stay if you don’t mind, in case anyone comes back with any news, I have your numbers and I will call you if it does’’ he spoke out as Tommy nodded.   
‘’Thanks Chris’’ I told him softly as he smiled and headed towards the house again, probably to introduce and make himself known to Lisa and Eric.

Walking along the streets, I could almost feel the tension which was running through Tommy’s body as we looked everywhere which we could think off, returning to the park again, we slowly retraced our steps which we had done, from arriving to getting drinks and walking back again before Tommy collapsed down on to the bench and I moved next to him, arms wrapped around his body as he broke down and turned in to me.   
‘’It’s okay baby’’ I whispered to him as I kissed the top of his head, ‘’lets go home, there isn’t anymore which we can do tonight’’ I told him softly as he reluctantly nodded and let me pull him to his feet as we started to head out the park and make the slow walk home, eyes open and praying for a sign, for anything.   
‘’You always hear about things like this but you never expect it to actually happen to you’’ Tommy whispered to me as I nodded and brought his hand up to my lips and kissed his knuckles.   
‘’We will get through this baby, together forever remember’’ I told him as he nodded.

‘’Would you want to adopt Hamish’’ Tommy asked after awhile of silence filling the air around us and I turned to look at him confused which he caught, ‘’I mean so that he is legally your son too, not just mine, he loves you to bits and if we ever broke up…’’ His words trailed off as I stopped walking before I pulled him closer to me.   
‘’We wont ever break up, I wouldn’t take him away from you like that.’’ I told him, ‘’but you know I would but no document from the state would ever stop me from classing him as mine as well, paper is paper but I love you and I love Hamish to hell and back and I would be willing to fight for him if it ever came to that but if Hamish wanted that too then I would’’ I told him as he smiled at me and wrapped his arms around my waist.   
‘’I don’t think Hamish would say no to his papa’’ He whispered and I chuckled softly before nodding.   
‘’And I don’t think I would ever be able to say no to our little boy’’ I told him as I wrapped my arms around him tightly before sighing, ‘’your freezing Tommy, why didn’t you tell me?’’ I asked as I pulled away and shrugged out of my jacket and held it out for him.   
‘’I didn’t really let it get to me’’ Tommy admitted to me as he turned and threaded his arms through my jacket before he turned back to face me again as I nodded. **  
**‘’Come on lets get home, its warmer and safer’’ I told him as I grabbed his hand again and we started walking again.  
Getting home at last, I breathed out slightly as I opened the door for Tommy and let him walk in before I stepped in behind him and softly shut it again with a quiet click before I turned and followed him in to the lounge where Lisa looked towards us, shaking my head slightly I walked over to the armchair and let myself fall down in to it before Tommy moved and walked over, his body sinking down on to mine as I wrapped my arms around him tightly and pressed a kiss to his shoulder.  
‘’How long has he been gone for?’’ Chris asked and I looked up as he walked in to the lounge with a tray of drinks.   
‘’Five hours and seventeen minutes’’ Tommy spoke out, his eyes distant as I looked up at him before pulling him closer again, ‘’I can’t help but count, Hamish is my world’’ He admitted as Chris smiled andwalked over with two cups in his hands, taking one each, I settled back against the chair again and looked up at Lisa to see her curled in to Eric’s side, a hand each on her stomach before I turned back to Tommy and pressed a kiss to his shoulder again as he leaned back against me.  
Hearing a phone start ringing, I watched as Tommy sat up slightly before his shoulders fell as Chris pulled his out his pocket and looked down at it. ****  
‘’Sorry I have to take this’’ He told us as we both nodded and watched him walk out the room, sighing to myself, I softly rubbed at my temple as Tommy stood and I watched him walk over to some of the boxers which was still to be unpacked, my jacket a little big on his shoulders as he pushed the sleeves up and placed his cup down.

 

Everything felt wrong and empty as I pulled the box open and looked through it, a few different fabrics, curtains I think it was before there was some photos, it looked like it was mainly Adam’s things in the box as I looked through it, I wanted to get back out and keep searching for Hamish but I knew Adam was right, there wasn’t anything else which we could do out there when he could come home any moment, I wanted to be here for that moment but until then all we could do was just wait and hope for the best. **  
**‘’No, I don’t think they had a single thing to do with it, from what I’ve seen so far, there’s nothing wrong with the kid or the two guys’’ Frowning slightly, I looked up towards the doorway where I could just make out Chris on the phone near the front door, ‘’yeah treats him like he was his own son sir’’ Turning I glanced at everyone else to see that they were talking quietly to each other before turning to see Adam with his head back against the chair as he stared at the floor as if he was on the verge of falling asleep but was trying to keep himself away. Turning back, I slowly walked towards the door and paused quietly as I listened, ‘’no I wouldn’t take the complaint any further, there’s no abuse, verbal or physical, it’s a very loving home, stable even though they have just moved’’ Chris paused slightly before he nodded to himself, ‘’yes sir, I can tell, his father is worried greatly, hasn’t been able to rest at all.’’ Chris spoke and I frowned more again as I placed my hand against the doorframe and looked up at his turned back, ‘’no sire, I mean he has been counting how long he’s been missing down to the minutes and they have both just returned from out searching again despite the police doing their own, I have no doubt that they had nothing to do with the disappearance.’’  
Watching as he turned and met my eyes, I noticed him go pale slightly as I swallowed and turned back in to the lounge as his footsteps followed moments later.  
‘’Who are you?’’ I asked as I turned and looked at him, Lisa’s conversation ending as Adam opened his eyes and looked up at us, ‘’is Chris really your name?’’ I asked as he pushed his phone in to his pocket again. ****  
‘’Yes it is and I do live a few houses down Tommy’’ He told me as I heard Adam move and stand before his arm around my waist.  
‘’What’s going on Tommy’’ He asked confused as I glanced up at him and then back again.   
‘’That’s what I would like to know, why not explain after that phone call I just over heard’’ I said towards Chris as he nodded and sighed.

‘’Please sit down’’ He said softly before Adam pulled me back and down on to his lap as he sat and Chris pulled a chair over and sat down himself,   
‘’If you have anything to do with Hamish I will kill you’’ I breathed out before Adam’s arms tightened around me and Chris shook his head.  
‘’I don’t,’’ He whispered before he sat up a little and let a sigh out again, ‘’I don’t work in government taxes like I said but I do work for the government.’’ He started as he looked towards me, ‘’I work in child protection’’ Staring at him, I felt my heart speed up slightly.   
‘’But why are you here?’’ I asked in panic. **  
**‘’A few weeks ago we got a call in, a complaint about the mistreatment of Hamish, abuse…things like that, the caller didn’t say who they were but did say that they had seen one or both of you drag him around, shouting at him all that’’ He explained as a cold chill ran through my body and Adam pulled me back further as I felt his hands tighten around the jackets I had on in anger. ‘’of course we have to investigate any kind of complaint whether its small or large like this one was, we had members of our team watch you, going out staying home anything you done with Hamish, then when we found out about you moving here, our boss, my boss suggested that I make myself friendly, to get closer and see for myself if anything was true.’’ **  
**‘’You lied to us to get in to our home’’ Adam gritted out and I laid my hands over his and squeezed,  
‘’Yes and im sorry about that, I don’t like being dishonest but I had to put the protection of Hamish across first.’’ Chris told us. ‘’but I don’t believe a single word of the complaint, from the moment I met you outside Tommy on that first day and Hamish came running down, I saw nothing but love in your eyes and on your face, saw nothing but love in Hamish too. The way you reacted to each other and spoke was something kind, filled with warmth and love, I couldn’t see anything like abuse between you both.’’ He said and I nodded softly,   
‘’How could you tell that?’’ Lisa asked and he smiled softly,   
‘’Children can be quite easy to read sometimes, they let emotions cross over them without knowing it’’ He explained as she nodded. ‘’Hamish was nothing but polite, abuse victims are often drawn back and snap without meaning too, the slightest noise he made too, you reacted to it quickly and went to see what happened’’ Nodding, I glanced at Adam again to see that he had relaxed slightly before I leaned further back against him. **  
**‘’I still don’t understand the phone call though’’ I told him as he looked at us,  
‘’In this case, I was watching because of the report of abuse in the complaint so I had to look at every little detail, and when my boss phoned me today about Hamish going missing, it makes the complaint higher up on the risk scale and moves from amber to red, but from leaving you when you went out and to talking to your sister about how much you have been looking since he has been gone along with everything else, I believe there is nothing going on here and that the complaint was a hoax, we sometimes get them but a complaint is still a complaint and we have to check it out until we are happy that everything is fine.’’  
‘’Who put the complaint in?’’ Adam asked and Chris shook his head slightly,   
‘’I don’t know’’ He told us,   
‘’don’t know or wont tell us?’’ I asked.   
‘’I honestly don’t know, they never left a name. All I know it was a female’’ He told us and I froze slightly which Adam felt as he moved. **  
** ‘’Tommy’ He said softly as I shook my head and turned to look at him. ****  
‘’Is everything okay?’’ Chris asked as I turned and shook my head,   
‘’I think I might know who complained’’ I whispered.

‘’You don’t think she would’ve done that would you?’’ Adam asked and I shook my head slightly,   
‘’She turned up at mine after we saw her in the zoo didn’t she, and from college how she wants in his life and mine’’ I whispered as his hands tightened around mine, our fingers together.   
‘’Tommy are you talking about Andie?’’ Lisa asked and it turned towards her before I nodded.   
‘’It’s the only person who I could think of who would take him, Hamish wouldn’t run off on his own or go with any one unless they said something about me and Andie is the only person who I can think of’’ I breathed out,  
‘’Do you have a photo or anything of this Andie’’ Chris asked and I thought for a second before I got up and moved towards one of the boxes which I knew had most of my notebooks in, looking through it, I grabbed an album and pulled it open ,finding a photo of me and Andie from when we were younger, I pulled it out. ****  
‘’I kept it in case Hamish ever asked about his mom and wanted to know what she looked like’’ I said as I turned and walked over to him and held it out.  
‘’Thanks, im going to send a photo of it to my boss to look in to her background and he will send copies out to the officers.’’ Chris said as he pulled his phone out again and headed out the room. Turning, I walked back over to Adam as he stood and wrapped his arms around me tightly again as I buried in to his chest and tried to even my breathing out.   
‘’You don’t think she actually done do you?’’ I whispered to him as if felt his chest move.   
‘’I don’t know baby, I honestly don’t know’’ He whispered back to me as I felt his lips press a kiss to the side of my head as we stood there.

 

‘’Where’s Tommy?’’ Sutan asked as he walked in and I slowly looked up and nodded towards the stairs,  
‘’Finally got him to get some sleep after everyone left about an hour ago, he’s in Hamish’s room’’ I sighed as he nodded and walked over as Dia headed out the room and towards the stairs.   
‘’How are you Adam?’’ He asked and I shrugged slightly before I returned his hug,  
‘’Im coping’’ I admitted as he sighed and pushed my hair out my eyes slightly from where it laid flat,   
‘’You need sleep yourself, I know you are looking after Tommy but you need to look after yourself to honey’’ Sutan spoke his words softly as I shrugged but nodded slowly,  
‘’I know but I feel like I need to be here and awake while Tommy sleeps and then awake when Tommy is so he doesn’t go out on his own to search’’ I admitted as he nodded and pushed me towards the couch,   
‘’Sleep for a while sweetie, me and Dia are here now to look after you boys’’ Sitting on the couch, I looked at him before I slowly pulled my feet up on to it and laid back again as Sutan found a blanket in one of the boxes and draped it over my frame, ‘’I will be in the kitchen if you need anything’’ He whispered with a kiss to my forehead as I let my eyes close and quickly found myself starting to fall asleep.

Waking up, I blinked slowly due to the brightness before I turned slightly and pushed the blanket covering me away, stretching as I sat I let my eyes move around the house before I frowned at how quiet it seemed to be before laughter ran out and I recognized it as being Hamish’s , getting to my feet, I quickly moved through the house before down to the basement where I paused as I realized that it was a home movie.  
‘’Adam is everything okay?’’ Dia asked as I walked in, Tommy’s head in her lap as she stroked her fingers through his hair and Sutan had his feet on his lap.  
‘’Yeah…I… I heard the laughter and thought…’’ I trailed of as she nodded, sitting down beside her, I glanced down to see that Tommy was sleeping and I smiled softly.   
‘’We didn’t mean to wake you, he wanted to watch some of the home videos we had of Hamish’’ She whispered and I shook my head,   
‘’No, the sunlight woke me up, what time is it anyway?’’ I asked as I yawned slightly and she checked her watch,   
‘’Just a little past nine am’’ She told me and I nodded slightly, ‘’Chris called, he will be here soon, there’s been some news but he wouldn’t tell me on the phone’’ Hearing her words I looked at her in hope before I nodded.  
For a while we watched the movies through and I felt my heart tighten with every smile and laugh coming from the image of Hamish on the screen, at the images of Tommy a little younger too, watching them both grow up, it warmed me at the same time as it pained me but I hoped the news which Chris would bring would be good and not bad.

‘’Adam, Chris is here honey’’ Dia whispered and I opened my eyes again before rubbing them as I realized that I had fallen asleep again in the chair, nodding to her, I slowly sat up more and stretched as I ran my hands through my hair and glanced around to see that Tommy and Sutan was already gone, following Dia upstairs and in to the kitchen, I glanced over at Tommy to see him stood with a cup of coffee in his hands before he walked over and I moved my arm around his shoulders.  
‘’What’s going on?’’ I asked as I took the cup Sutan held towards me,   
‘’Because Hamish is still under the child protection act, The police contacted my boss with news that someone has seen a girl matching Andie’s description going in to a motel and that of a child shouting’’ Chris spoke and I felt Tommy straighten beside me, ****  
‘’What motel, we have to go there’’ He quickly said as Chris shook his head,  
‘’Tommy, its only a match, the police are on the way there at the moment and are going to talk to the motel manager to be let in to the room, I know that there is nothing going on in the family and that you want Hamish home, but I still need to talk to him alone’’ Chris said,  
‘’But you told your boss that you didn’t think we were involved’’ Tommy whispered out,  
‘’I know and I don’t, it’s the way my job goes, so I need your permission to talk to him Tommy because you are his father. It won’t take long because I know that there is nothing going on’’ Chris explained as he nodded slightly.   
‘’Okay…okay, I’ll let you talk to him’’ Tommy said and he glanced up at me, hope bright in his eyes as I leaned down and softly kissed his cheek.   
‘’Told you he will be okay baby’’ I whispered to him as he nodded and hugged in to my side tightly.

.o0o.

‘’They have him, Ma…they have Hamish’’ Tommy’s voice cried out from the lounge before he bounded in to the kitchen, a large smile on his face which I returned as he came over and wrapped his arms around my neck before pressing his lips against mine, pulling away softly, I blushed and glanced towards Sutan and Dia as he laughed.   
‘’When is Chris going to talk to him’’ Dia asked as Tommy turned,   
‘’He already has, and he believes every word which Hamish says and he’s bringing him home’’ Tommy grinned as I wrapped my arms around his waist tightly.   
‘’That’s great baby, we have our son back’’ I grinned as he turned to look at me, watching as he wiggled out my arms, I raised an eyebrow slightly as I watched him move around the kitchen gathering things together as I sat down again watching him. ****  
‘’Honey, what are you doing?’’ Sutan asked as Tommy returned from the pantry with a bag of mince in his hands.  
‘’its lunch time…Hamish will be hungry’’ He spoke out before turning back to what he was doing.

Making small talk for a while, I couldn’t help but look over and watch Tommy every so often as he moved around the kitchen, making lunch for everyone and Hamish when the doorbell rang and his head snapped towards it before he turned and quickly moved towards it. Pushing the chair back, I followed quickly and grabbed his hand as he answered it to see an officer stood there with Chris.   
‘’Where is he?’’ Tommy asked as Chris glanced down and then up again.   
‘’Tommy, Hamish is upset at the moment, Andie told him some lies and he thinks that you and Adam don’t want him’’ Chris said softly and I felt Tommy tense up slightly, his hand tightening in mine as I swallowed. ‘’he’s also scared that you are going to tell him off because he left with her, that he let himself believe that she was taking him away to surprise you’’  
‘’No…that bitch…god’’ Tommy whispered before I pulled him closer to me.  
‘’Where is he?’’ I asked softly,   
‘’in the car at the moment, I can bring him up if that is what you really like’’ Chris asked and I nodded slightly, **  
**‘’Please’’ I told them as they both nodded and walked away. ‘’baby why don’t you go back in to the kitchen’’ I told him as he shook his head and pulled away to look at me.  
‘’I hate her so much Adam, she tried turning Hamish against us, who knows what lies she has spun’’ he whimpered out slightly as I ran my hand through his hair and pressed a kiss to his forehead.  
‘’It will be okay, we got through everything so far and we can get through this’’ I told him as he nodded.   
‘’Adam…Tommy’’  Turning as Chris’s voice spoke out, I looked back at Tommy again before back to see Hamish stood behind his legs slightly, letting Tommy go, I moved and knelt down, my knees against the doorframe as I looked towards him.  
‘’Hey kiddo, we’ve missed you’’ I told Hamish softly as he peered around, eyes wide and red as if he had been crying, just a spitting image of Tommy.  
‘’Its okay Hamish, we aren’t mad at you baby’’ Tommy whispered out as he moved to his knees beside us and Hamish stepped out slightly from behind Chris,   
‘’you aren’t?’’ He asked,  
‘’No we not baby, we’ve missed you so much and was so worried when we couldn’t find you’’ I told him as he stepped a little more again and then looked up at Chris who smiled at him softly. **  
**‘’I told you that I was telling you the truth’’ Chris said before Hamish turned and quickly moved and threw his little arms around both of mine and Tommy’s necks, hugging him back with a arm of mine around Tommy, I breathed out deeply before he pulled away and looked at us both.  
‘’Don’t cry papa and not you either daddy im okay, that lady didn’t hurt me’’ Hamish told us and Tommy let a broken laugh out as he moved his hands through Hamish’s hair and pulled him closer again.  
‘’Im never letting you go again ever’’ Tommy breathed out as I moved my hands across my eyes before I stood,  
‘’Thank you Chris, so much’’ I told him as he shook his head,  
‘’It’s no trouble Adam, im just glad to have him home where he belongs with a loving family’’ He told us as Tommy stood with Hamish in his arms still, holding him tightly to him as Hamish rested his head in to the crook of his neck, ****  
‘’What’s going to happen with Andie?’’ Tommy asked and I looked at him before turning back to Chris again who nodded towards the house and we nodded before letting him in.

‘’Daddy can I go with uncle Sutan’’ Hamish asked as we walked in to the kitchen,   
‘’He will be okay Tommy’’ Sutan spoke out as he slowly nodded and kissed the top of Hamish’s head as he let him down and Sutan led him out the room.  
Sitting down around the table, I gripped Tommy’s hand tightly as Dia made drinks for us all before sitting down beside Chris as she handed everyone a cup.  
‘’She will get charged for kidnapping’’ Chris said and I looked over at Tommy as he swallowed slightly,   
‘’I don’t want to press charges, as much as I hate her for what she done, I can’t let her ruin her life like that, I just want a court order demanding that she stays away from my family’’ Tommy spoke out as Chris nodded slightly.   
‘’Are you sure?’’ Chris asked as he nodded and looked at me.   
‘’This is your choice baby, I may class Hamish as my son now but you are his biological father and Andie is his mother’’ Itold him as he nodded. **  
**‘’But I want you to be part of this too’’ Tommy told me and I smiled softly before squeezing his hand softly, **  
**‘’I know baby, but this isn’t my fight’’ I told him as he nodded slowly and turned back.  
‘’That’s settled then, I don’t want her to go to jail but I want it so she can’t come in to contact with any of us ever again, if Hamish wants to find her at 18 then I will let him but until then’’ Tommy spoke as he looked towards Dia and she smiled at him.  
‘’Alright, I will get that all sorted for you, and Tommy…Adam, I am truly sorry for lying to you both, I didn’t meant to hurt either of you’’ Chris spoke and I smiled softly towards him.   
‘’You were doing your job Chris’’ I spoke out as he nodded softly,   
‘’But I would like it if I can continue being your friend like before you found me out’’ He asked and Tommy laughed gently before he nodded.   
‘’Of course’’ Tommy said before we laughed softly and I pulled him closer to me. ‘’but if you may excuse me, I just want to go and hug our son and never let him go again’’ Tommy chuckled as he pulled out my arms and stood up again, watching as he headed out the kitchen, I smiled to myself as I turned back.  
‘’Im glad Tommy found out who you were Chris because me might not of got Hamish back as soon as we did’’ I told him as he nodded softly,   
‘’I agree, and I would’ve come clean to you both about who I really was once the case had been closed with the complaint, but now we have everything sorted out, child protection wont be bothering you again.’’ He said and I nodded with a smile before footsteps came in to the kitchen and we all turned to see Hamish. **  
**‘’Where’s daddy?’’ I asked as he grinned and moved towards me before jumping on to my lap, his arms around my neck tightly as he pressed a kiss to my cheek.  
‘’Daddy says I have to come and get you and demand that I don’t return without you and lunch’’ Hamish smiled before it grew wider and he leaned closer, ‘’daddy also said that he made taco’s’’ He whispered to me as I grinned,  
‘’Does that mean I have to watch you and daddy eat like animals?’’ I asked before tickling him slightly as he squirmed and screamed out in laughter before I tightened my arms around him.   
‘’Daddy says you don’t care that we stuff our faces because you love us papa’’ He spoke out as I nodded with a smile. ****  
‘’That I do indeed you little monster’’ I grinned as I stood up and pretended to drop him before I wrapped my arm around his waist and held him under my arm tightly as he laughed. ‘’sorry, duty calls’’ I said towards Chris and Dia as they laughed and shook their heads.  
‘’It’s fine,  im going to get to know Chris more’’ Dia spoke out as I nodded towards the two of them and picked the plate of tacos up before I headed out the kitchen and towards the lounge.

.o0o.

‘’Tommy…wake up’’ Groaning slightly, I swiped at my ear again as I rolled over and pulled the covers up over my head with a mumble before I felt the covers get moved and then a warm body slide in to bed beside me, their arm moving around my waist, turning me on to my back slightly as I groaned.   
‘’Fucker’’ I mumbled out on a breath as I felt Adam’s body move over mine slightly, my legs parting to give him room as I curled my arms around his neck.  
‘’Hamish is in school, waited till they locked the gates before leaving again’’ Adam said softly against my neck, his breath warm as he kissed my skin as I trailed a hand up in to his hair slightly as I nodded.  
‘’Good’’ I mumbled as I turned my head slightly and pressed a soft kiss to his hair before breathing out softly again as Adam let his weight against me, his arms around my body as he rested his chest against my stomach and his head on my chest.   
‘’Gunna fall asleep like this’’ I heard Adam mumble from under the covers slightly and I grinned lazily before I slowly opened my eyes and pushed the covers away, knowing for sure that it would get too hot with Adam laid over me like he was before I dropped my head back down and let my eyes close again as hands moved over his back softly.   
‘’Love you’’ I whispered to him before I felt his lips against my chest,   
‘’Love you too’’ He mumbled, already half asleep as I slipped my hand up to rest against the nape of his neck.   
‘’You changed my life’’ I whispered to him, ‘’turned it all around in one day’’ I told him softly as I yawned and he shifted against me slightly, weight heavy as sleep started to pull Adam under again and tug back at the edge of my vision, ‘’wouldn’t change anything for the world now’’ I whispered to myself as I let sleep finally tug me under fully, knowing that everything was going to be okay now and that no one else could hurt anyone. 

I had the best family and I had Adam and Hamish, I didn’t need anything else ever in my life and I was happy enough to grow old doing the same thing day in and day out if it meant that I had Adam by my side like he promised to stay.

Forever, together


	15. Epilogue

*5 years later*

‘’Adam’’ Calling out as I stepped out of the sun and in to the house, I let my jacket slide down my arms before putting it up on to the coat hook and moved through the hallway before working my way around boxes which was still to be unpacked from the second move.  
‘’Dad’’ Turning to see Hamish stood in the kitchen with a couple of his friends which lived down the street; I couldn’t help but laugh at his face slightly.   
‘’You look surprised to see me’’ I told him as he glanced at the other two before back again,   
‘’you’re not meant to be home yet’’ He told me and I rose an eyebrow slightly,   
‘’Got of work early, where’s Adam?’’ I asked as his eyes glanced towards the door,   
‘’Busy’’ Hamish told me and I glanced back before nodding slightly,   
‘’Uh-huh im going to go find him’’ I said before I headed out the new kitchen and worked my way around the two boxes and headed towards the studio at the back of the house before feet ran past and I looked up to see the three of them stood.   
‘’Sorry Mr. Ratliff,  we got orders to not let you in’’  The girl said before I looked over at Hamish  
‘’Its true dad, pa told us not to let you in the studio if he was still in there and busy, I don’t know what he’s doing but he thought he would have plenty of time while you were working’’ Hamish told me before the door opened behind them and I looked up to see Adam peer out before slip out the room quickly and closed the door behind him again as the kids ran off.  
‘’You’re home early baby’’ Adam grinned out as he walked closer and wrapped his arms around my waist as I breathed out and let mine move around his neck.  
‘’Had a power cut at work, let everyone come home early’’ I told him with a smile as he nodded and leaned down, kissing him back just as slowly, I let my fingers slide up in to the back of his hair softly before he pulled away and chuckled softly.  
‘’Lets go get you and the kids some lunch’’ Adam smiled as he pulled away and headed towards the kitchen, glancing back at the studio, I stepped closer and touched the closed door before I shook my head and headed away, knowing that if Adam wanted me not to go in so bad that he got the kids to stop me then I wouldn’t ruin it for him.

‘’Dad can I stay at Jason’s tonight?’’ Hamish asked and I looked up from where me and Adam were finishing lunch to see him stood in the doorway with another boy just behind him,   
‘’Sure, but I want to talk to his parents first’’ I told him before Hamish blushed slightly and turned to look at the other boy, ‘’boys?’’ I asked as Hamish looked back up at us both.   
‘’Okay I lied, we really want to go camping down by the river dad, it’s so cool’’ Hamish started say before I looked at him,   
‘’what river?’’ I asked,   
‘’There’s a small stream at the bottom of the garden, the kids have been playing down around there most of the day’’ Adam said and I turned to look towards him before back at Hamish,   
‘’Maybe another day okay, lets get everything settled and unpacked okay’’ I told him as he sighed before nodded.   
‘’Okay but can Jason stay here tonight then?’’ He asked and I couldn’t help but laugh before I nodded.   
‘’Make sure its okay with his parents first and if they want to talk to me then let them’’ I called out as they both ran out again, ‘’shit when did he grow up so fast’’ I groaned as I pushed my plate away and let my head fall down on the table top as Adam laughed, his fingers moving up to slide through my hair softly as I peered up at him.   
‘’He’s only ten baby, still a lot of growing up to do yet’’ Adam smiled out as I lifted my head and smiled back at him, ‘’maybe you should let Hamish stay at Jason’s instead tonight’’ He whispered softly, blue eyes still bright like there were back in college before I bit my lip and quickly moved to my feet and headed towards the front door.

 

‘’Boys are settled at Jason’s and we have the house to ourselves for the night until tea time tomorrow’’ Tommy’s voice spoke out as he walked back in to the kitchen, a box in his hands which I took and kissed his cheek softly as I placed it on to the breakfast bar.  
‘’That’s great baby’’ I grinned out as he moved around and grabbed a bottle of juice out the fridge before leaning against the counter.   
‘’Five years…fuck I can’t believe we are living in LA within five years of dreaming it’’ Tommy spoke out and I glanced over to see his eyes glazed over and distant as I laughed softly and put the knife down which I was using to chop some chicken up. Walking over to him, I slipped my hand along his jaw and tilted his head up softly as I smiled.   
‘’Well believe it baby’’ I whispered to him as  he shared a soft smile, ‘’I love you…still love you like I did the first time I kissed you’’ I whispered as a soft blush fell over Tommy’s cheeks, his hands moving to my waist as he pulled me closer.  
‘’Love you too Adam’’ he whispered back before I leaned down slightly, my arms slipping around his waist where I quickly picked him up and sat him on the clear counter as his legs parted and I moved closer to him.  
‘’You do don’t you’’ I teased as a small grin fell over his lips, his long fingers moving up over the back of my neck before slipping under the collar of my shirt slightly as he nodded.  
‘’I do’’ he whispered out, a leg hooking around the back of my thigh and pulling me closer as I grinned and lightly nipped at his lower lip before trailing my lips along his jaw to his ear.  
‘’Going to open you up so slowly tonight, take my time and make love to your body before I’ll make love to you’’ I whispered in to his ear, the shiver running through his body and hitched breath making me smile as I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him closer to me, our groins touching lightly as he swallowed. ‘’no need to be quiet tonight, the house is ours so I can take my time, worship every inch of your body’’ I whispered before I trailed my lips back against his skin and met his in a deep kiss again which had him tightening his leg round my thigh as I slipped a hand up the back of his shirt to rest against warm skin.

‘’Oh for god’s sake, I swear the last time we both walked in to your new kitchen you were both going at it against the counter’’ Pulling away, I glanced towards Lisa and Eric before I grinned softly and turned as Tommy laughed before leaning his head against my shoulder.  
‘’Just perfect time…such perfect timing…fuck’’ Tommy groaned before he pushed me away and slipped down of the counter.   
‘’Oh I love you too Tommy’’ Lisa spoke out before he stuck his tongue out at her as he busied himself with cups and I shook my head.   
‘’Really baby, you say that Hamish doesn’t act his age, neither do you’’ I chuckled before he blushed again.   
‘’Not helping Adam…anyway, where’s my gorgeous niece?’’  Tommy asked as Lisa laughed and curled in to Eric more,   
‘’Sleeping out in her pram, it was a long car ride’’ She smiled before Tommy walked over and handed both of them a cup before disappearing out in to the hallway again.   
‘’It’s great to see you guys again, I hope it wasn’t too bad finding the place’’ I told them as they joined me at the table.   
‘’No it was fine, had a bit of a mess in the car with Josephine, I think she gets travel sickness on long journeys ‘’ Eric said as I nodded and sipped at my drink,  
‘’Where’s Hamish too?’’ Lisa asked as I put the cup down, fingers wrapped around it still,  
‘’Spending the night at a friend’s house’’ Tommy spoke out as he walked back in, a wide awake Josephine in his arms as he grinned and tickled her chest softly as she laughed.   
‘’Tommy she was sleeping’’ Lisa shrieked out before he rolled his eyes.   
‘’I didn’t do anything, she woke up herself, I was just sat there watching her and sorting through one of the boxes looking some sheets which by the way I couldn’t find and she woke up so I took her out’’ He smiled as he walked over and I moved out as he sat on my lap, my hand moving up to one of Josephine’s which she took and smiled at.

 

‘’How is she getting along with the specialist’’ I asked Lisa as I stood again and Adam got up to show Eric what ever he was doing in the studio, sitting down in his place again I grinned as Josephine pulled on my hands before lifting it to her mouth, laughing I softly pulled it away and tickled her stomach again.   
‘’Good, they are happy with the progress which she has been doing actually’’ Lisa told me as I nodded,   
‘’Tom’’ Looking down at her I couldn’t help but laugh softly,   
‘’Yeah she’s been saying that a lot’’ Lisa laughed, ‘’there’s a few other words which she has learnt to say now and she’s more steady on her feet now then the last time you saw her. ‘’  
‘’Well I think uncle Tommy wants to see his princess walk’’ I grinned out as I stood, ‘’what have you been teaching her on?’’ I asked before Lisa nodded towards the kitchen doors,  
‘’The grass, the doctors said it would be best because its uneven and it helps her to learn the balance which she needs’’ Lisa explained as I grinned and waited for her to open the door before following her out in to the sunshine again. 

Handing Lisa back her daughter, I sat down on the grass with my legs spread before she done the same across from me and turned Josephine around to face me as I smiled towards her, since she had been born Lisa had had nothing but problems with her health and learning abilities, Josephine’s down syndrome high up on the chart before I clapped my hands softly.   
‘’Come here then princess, show me what you got’’ I spoke out with a soft grin as she laughed and stretched her own arms out before trying to take a step which had her wobbling in Lisa’s arms before she settled her again and slowly let go as she stepped forward, wobbling again, I leaned forward slightly before Josephine laughed and quickly stumbled forward and in to my arms before I pulled her back against my chest. ‘’that was amazing babygirl, god you’re getting so big’’ I grinned out as she started to play with my fingers again.   
‘’So how are you and Adam getting on down here then?’’ Lisa asked and I looked up at her with a soft smile,  
‘’Great actually, it’s a really nice area and everyone is so polite, Hamish has made friends real quick which im glad off, that was the main thing which me and Adam was worried about was him finding friends again, being ten isn’t easy’’ I chuckled softly before I brushed my fingers through Josephine’s hair softly, ‘’only downside is this stupid call center job which I took, I didn’t want to be sat at home doing nothing while Adam Is out being his fabulous self singing, I wanted to bring money in too’’ I told her as she nodded softly.  
‘’How’s that working out for him?’’   
‘’Amazing actually, back home he was spotted by a talent scout who offered him a deal and everything, that’s how we managed to move here, everything has worked out perfectly. He’s doing a job which he loves’’ I told her as she smiled and I held Josephine up as she started to stumble back towards her mom.   
‘’That’s great to hear and im sure you will find a better job at some point Tommy, everything takes time you know that’’ Lisa said as I nodded,   
‘’I know, its just strange you know, five years ago I never thought that I would be where I am today you know, I didn’t think I would be 25 living in LA and in a amazing relationship, no matter what me and Adam has been through or fought about, it’s just made us a lot stronger you know’’ I smiled out as I crossed my legs and glanced around the garden before back to my sister again.

‘’I’m glad you’re happy Tommy, it’s a nice look on you’’ she told me with a smile as I nodded and blushed softly. ‘’have you thought any more about Adam adopting Hamish as his own, I know you talked about it when he went missing that time with Andie’’   
‘’Yeah we have actually, all the paper work has been sent off and we are just waiting for some more forms to come through before its all finalized and we can legally change his birth certificate to put Adam on so he can do everything I can do with Hamish’’ I grinned out as Lisa laughed.   
‘’About time you both got that all sorted’’ Lisa chuckled before shifting the little one in her arms as Josephine started to fall asleep again.   
‘’We wanted to make sure that it was what we both wanted and of course we sat Hamish down and asked him too, which was a waste of time really, he was saying yes even before we finished talking’’ I laughed out as she nodded.  
‘’That boy loves Adam, I’ve said since I first met that gorgeous boyfriend of yours’’ Lisa told me as I laughed softly and nodded.   
‘’I know, I love him too, I think I was scared in the very start of everything because of how gorgeous Adam is, in my mind I had it that no one like him would go after someone like me, I mean I love him more than anything but im still scared, even after being together for five years that he’s going to find someone else ’’ I grinned out before the doors opened again and I turned slightly to see the others walk out.   
‘’Whatya talking about down there’’ Adam called out as he got closer,  
‘’About how gorgeous my boyfriend is and how I love him’’ I replied as he grinned slightly  
‘’Sure baby’’ Laughing as he walked closer with Eric before sitting down behind me,  I leaned back in to his chest before moving my hands over his thighs.  
‘’Honestly he was’’ Lisa spoke out as I blushed softly. ‘’it was kind of sick but adorable’’ She grinned as Adam wrapped his arms around me tightly.

 

‘’We should get going,’’ Looking up from Tommy as Lisa handed Josephine over to Eric, I frowned softly,   
‘’the spare rooms free and big enough if yo wanted to stay here’’ Tommy spoke out as I ran my fingers through his hair again and kissed the top of his head.   
‘’Its fine, we have a room booked in at a hotel in the city’’ Eric said and I smiled softly and gave a slight nod which had both Tommy and Lisa looking at us,   
‘’what are you hiding?’’ Tommy asked and I turned back and grinned softly before leaning down and pressed my lips to his.   
‘’Nothing baby’’ I winked at him before climbing up and walked over to Eric before we headed inside,   
‘’Do you have everything sorted?’’ He asked quietly and I glanced back before nodding.   
‘’I do now, thank you for holding on to them for me’’ I whispered as Tommy’s voice echoed through the house as Eric smiled.   
‘’no problem’’ He winked before settling Josephine in to the pram, grinning, I moved and strapped her in before standing again as I felt arms move around my waist, turning slightly I laughed and hugged Lisa back again before kissing her cheek.  
‘’It was good seeing you again, come back any time you feel like it’’ I told her as she nodded and grinned towards Tommy slightly.   
‘’Oh we will, but I’ll make sure to make enough noise first so you have time to stop pinning my brother against the kitchen counter’’ She winked at me as I laughed and let her go.   
‘’Yeah, yeah I love you too Lisa, but really come back soon okay’’ Tommy spoke out as he moved and hugged his sister, smiling towards Eric again, he turned and pulled the door open and started to pull the pram out as I said goodbye again and headed in to the kitchen as Tommy finished up.

Feeling his arms slide around my waist, I smiled and covered my own over his as he sighed and rested his cheek against my shoulder blade. ‘’Hear that?’’ He whispered and I frowned slightly before I tried to glance over my shoulder at him.   
‘’I don’t hear anything baby’’ I told him as he laughed softly and moved around to stand in front of me, his hands pressing against my chest before sliding down to my sides.  
‘’Exactly…nothing’’ He smiled at me before it dawned on me again and I smiled, moving my hands up to his neck softly, I took a step forward and crowded him back against the counter again as a sly smirk fell over his lips.   
Running my hands down the front of his chest slowly,  I stepped closer again and softly leaned my knees against his thighs before my hands started to push back up again, his shirt sliding with the movement as his hands pulled me closer again.  
‘’You’re beautiful you know’’ I whispered to him as I let my forehead press against his softly.   
‘’You always say that’’ Tommy whispered back, a smile on his lips as I pushed his top up fully and pulled away slightly before tugging it over his head softly, dropping it down on the counter, I moved my forehead back to his again and let a small breath out as I ran my fingertips back down his bare chest again before resting my palms against his ribs.   
‘’It’s always true, I never grow tired of watching you, the mornings I wake up before you is amazing’’ I whispered to him as I kept my eyes on his, ‘’you look so peaceful in the dim light you know,  the way your hair is tousled from sleep makes you look even younger ‘’ I whispered as his hands slowly moved up my arms to rest against my shoulders, ‘’I just lie there watching you,  trailing my fingers over your skin like this’’ I whispered as moved my hand and lightly over his stomach as he shivered softly. ‘’you do the same thing in your sleep, pull these cute little faces before you stir’’ I whispered with a grin before I moved slightly and lowered to my knees.   
‘’What are you doing?’’ He asked as I looked up at him, his fingers moving to my jaw as I smiled softly,   
‘’Told you, going to make love to your body and worship every inch before I make love to you’’ I whispered against his stomach as I pressed a soft kiss to it, turning my head, I let my cheek rest against his warm skin as his fingers ran through my hair softly. ‘’I love you’’ I told him as I moved a hand down to his hips and slowly turned to look back up at him as he smiled.  
‘’I love you too, come on, lets go upstairs’’ He whispered back before holding his hand out to me, taking it, I stood softly, a hand still on his hip as I rubbed my thumb over the hand in mine, sighing softly, I leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his lips.

Letting Tommy lead me out the kitchen, I glanced towards the studio with a small smile before turning back again as we started to walk back up the stairs, his hand still in mine as we stepped in to our bedroom and he turned slowly to face me, his other hand coming to rest against my shoulder as he leaned up, lips pressing against mine as I wrapped my arm around his waist, hand resting against his lower back as I pulled him closer to my body again.  
Pulling away, I rested my head against his again, our eyes closed still as I breathed out and smoothed my hand over his back which had him arching up against my hold, smiling softly as I opened my eyes, I watched his own open before he pulled away, body turning around as he walked closer to our bed and climbed up on his knees before turning and laying back, eyes questioning me as I stepped closer and slowly knelt down and moved over him slowly. Feeling his legs parting to let me lower against his body, I slipped my hand over his side as I moved my lips back to his softly.

 

Watching through hooded eyes as Adam sat up slowly; I let my fingers trail down over his covered chest still before slipping them under to touch against his warm skin. ‘’Can you take it off?’’ I asked in a hushed voice as he smiled softly and nodded.   
‘’You don’t have to ask baby’’ He told me as his hands moved up to the back of his shirt and started to slide it over his head before dropping it on the floor softly. Touching over freshly exposed skin, I let a soft breath out as he turned back to look at me with a smile.   
‘’I love you’’ I told him as he nodded and softly moved and rested against my body again as I hooked my leg around his thigh and touched against his back,  
‘’I love you too Tommy’’ Adam whispered as his lips pressed against my jaw, tilting my head slightly, I smiled as I felt him kiss down slowly before moving down on to my neck where he sucked a small mark up, arching against him slightly, I trailed my hands back down his back again until I slipped them down under his pants and against soft skin as he chuckled against my ear warmly.

Letting minutes morph in to longer as more clothes started to fall away from our body, I sat up against the headboard slightly as Adam moved and walked over to the bedroom door where he pushed it closed before joining me under the covers again as I moved closer.  
‘’You know, you could’ve left the door open, Hamish isn’t here’’ I told him as he smiled sheepishly at me,   
‘’it’s a habit of doing it now, been doing it for five years now, don’t think im going to be stopping any time soon’’ He teased back as I found myself being rolled over. Laughing brightly, I gripped at his shoulders as I looked down at him, my knees hugging his hips softly as fingers stroked over my thighs, everything was perfect between us and I knew I had been lucky when I had met Adam and finally let him in to my life. ‘’Whatya thinking about’’ Adam asked and I shook my thought away before smiling,  
‘’You’’ I told him honestly as he grinned,  
‘’Really now’’ Adam smirked out as he leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to my chest as his arms moved around my bare waist, ‘’because funny enough, I was thinking about you too’’ he whispered against my skin as I ran my fingers through his hair softly and pushed it back out of his eyes, the look of love in them made me smile as I dipped down and softly captured his lips against mine as I felt him turn us both over and lay over my again, our legs a tangled mess with the covers as arms held each other tightly.

 

‘’Tommy’’ I whispered softly after a few minutes of laying on my side and stroking my fingertips over his back, smiling as his eyes fluttered to look back up at my face again from where he had been slightly dozing, I scooted back down the bed and laid my head next to his as I covered his hand in mine.  
‘’What’s wrong?’’ He asked and I chuckled softly as I brushed my thumb over his skin.   
‘’Nothing, everything’s just perfect’’ I told him as he smiled lazily, the blissed out, just had sex look always my favorite on him as he moved and curled closer to me.  
‘’Good’’ He yawned out as I let my hand move back to his spine again as I softly traced it, a small smile falling over my lips as he shivered slightly under the touch.  
‘’Do you remember, back that day I took Hamish out shopping’’ I said softly as Tommy shifted slightly to glance up at me before lying his head on my chest, ‘’back when we first started dating’’  
‘’I think so…he got me the silver bat’’ He spoke out softly as I nodded and laid my hand flat against his lower back.   
‘’Yeah, that’s the day’’ I told him,   
‘’what about it?’’ He asked and I bit my lip slightly.   
‘’I brought something too you know’’ I told him as he turned to look at me confused,   
‘’What…I can’t remember you coming in with anything’’ He told me as I smiled  
‘’Yeah, but I did, a present really for you’’ I told him as he let a playful smile curl his lips,   
‘’Then why didn’t you give it to me?’’ He asked as I laughed softly and ran my hand up to the back of his neck where I rubbed it softly.   
‘’It was way too early to give it to you’’ I told him as his smile turned in to a frown as he looked confused.   
‘’Too early…Adam what did you get?’’ He asked, glancing away slightly, I turned towards the alarm clock to see that it was only a little after 9pm before I turned back.  
‘’Get dressed and I will show you’’ I told him as he frowned again but still moved,   
‘’what do you want me to wear?’’ He asked and I shrugged slightly,   
‘’Anything you want too baby’’ I told him as I pulled my boxers back on along with a pair of sweats, turning, I smiled softly as I watched Tommy pull his own boxers on before grabbing my hoody off the top of one of the boxes and tugged it on, the bottom of it falling halfway down his thighs before I walked around and took his hand in mine.

Leading him back downstairs, I turned towards the studio before I paused and turned to the box which was sat on the floor next to the door, letting Tommy’s hand go, I crouched down and looked through it until I found the blindfold and stood again as I faced him.  
‘’Do you trust me?’’ I asked as he nodded softly, arms folding around his stomach slightly as I smiled and stepped closer before around again.   
‘’I want you just to wear this for a few minutes’’ I told him as I lifted it and placed the soft fabric across his eyes gently. Satisfied that it was in place and not going to go anywhere, I walked around him and pushed the door open, my eyes scanning across the studio with a soft smile before I stepped inside and quickly lit a few of the candles which were always kept inside before I turned back and reached out, my hands grabbing Tommy’s softly before I brought him inside carefully.   
‘’Adam’’ Tommy spoke out softly as I smiled.   
‘’Just stand there baby, not much longer now’’ I told him before I let his hands go and turned around to where the desk was, grabbing the long box from inside, I turned back around again and bit my lip as I took in Tommy’s form in the candle light, the way it fell across his exposed skin around the blindfold and I couldn’t help myself as I stepped closer and lightly brushed my lips over his before pulling away again as he grinned. ‘’I know you once said that no bodies perfect and I understand where you came from with that’’ I spoke out as I moved slightly so I was a little way in front of him again but still close, ‘’these past five years has been so magical and I could never ask for a more perfect family then what I have with you and Hamish, just getting to wake up next to you every day makes all the ache and worry of things fade away’’ I told him as he smiled and I noticed a soft blush on his cheeks.  
‘’Can I take the blindfold of now?’’ He asked as I swallowed and nodded to myself.   
‘’Yeah you can baby’’ I told him softly as I moved down on to my knee and looked up at him as he reached up and took it off, his eyes scanning the room quickly, a soft smile on his lips which I knew was there as he took in the rose petals and candle light before he turned and dropped his eyes down to me.   
‘’Adam’’ He asked as he stepped closer and I smiled softly.   
‘’I love you so much Tommy and I always want to be here with you…with Hamish, being the best second father which he could ever have, I want to be there for you both with everything, I want to be there holding your hand when he gets a part in the school play, the first time he gets sent to the principal’s office because he’s hit some kid, when he graduates school, I want to be there with you when he goes off to college and being the annoying parents who rings up every five minutes to check on him because I can’t let him go’’ I spoke out as Tommy laughed softly and moved a hand up against his chest softly, ‘’but most of all, I just want to be there for you, for every step we have taken and yet to take together as a couple and I want to seal everything and make it complete…so Tommy, would you marry me and make me the happiest man on earth?’’ I asked softly as I glanced down and opened the box to show the two rings I had brought back in the shop with Hamish.

Watching as he took a step forward and move down on to his knees to be level with me, I let a shaky breath out as he reached out and lightly trailed his fingers across the black bands before his eyes flickered up to me, ‘’You’re stupid’’ He whispered as he moved his hand up to my jaw before he leaned closer and pressed his lips against mine softly, kissing him back, I slowly pulled away to stare at him.   
‘’So is that a yes?’’ I asked as he grinned and nodded,  
‘’I would love to marry you Adam’’ He whispered to me as I grinned and moved my arm around him softly and pulled him closer to me as my lips pressed back to his deeply.

Pulling away again, I pecked his lips softly with a smile before I picked the box back up and pulled the ring out with the band of blue running through the black, taking Tommy’s hand in mine softly, I slipped it on to his finger before he smiled and pressed another kiss against my lips, his hand pressing against my cheek as the feeling of the cold band against my skin sent my heart soaring again.   
‘’They are beautiful’’ He told me as I nodded softly and smiled as he pulled the other ring out and pushed it on to my own finger, ‘’how did you keep them hidden for so long?’’ He asked and I laughed softly as I ran my fingers through his hair,   
‘’I asked Eric to keep hold of them for me, I told him and Lisa that I wanted to ask you one day but I only told Eric about the rings and he kept them safe for me because I knew that this was the right moment in to asking you’’ I admitted as he smiled,   
‘’My clever and sneaky beautiful fiancé’’ He whispered to me as I smiled and wrapped my arms around him tightly as he turned to look around the studio again, ‘’that’s why you got the kids to keep me away’’ He asked before turning back as I nodded.  
‘’It is, they done a perfect job too’’ I told him before helping him to stand, picking the box up, I closed the lid and placed it back on to the desk before I stepped back and wrapped my arms around his waist as he leaned in to my chest .   
‘’I love you Adam’’ He whispered as I let my hands slide under the hoody of mine he was wearing to rest against his waist as I pressed my forehead against his softly.  
‘’I love you too Tommy’’ I whispered to him. ‘’me and you together, forever and always’’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the FINAL chapter I promise, as a reader pointed out in a comment back along to me, I left parts loose and this chapter is just to tie that comment point off :) And also I thought it would be nice to give it a happy ending :) 
> 
> Thank you for sticking by with this fic, I know it was a long one, but it was worth all the hours spent typing it for you to read :) <3 ~I love you guys


End file.
